ANGEL OF LIFE

I do not own the characters of Twilight. I will try to return them unharmed.

Okay, so I have noticed that for some reason I have been getting a little off track with it comes to the plot of my story. I think I may be writing it a little too fast and can't put the thought and attention into the details that I want. I am going to slow down the posts to give myself the proper time to do the story justice. Thank you and enjoy.

BTW, this is a short but necessary chapter. I hope this will help everyone understand why it is so short.

Fanfriends 4ever (you know who you are)

Bella could sense things happening around her but it all felt so unreal. The world had ceased to exist. The fog around her was crushing her. She remembered things but so much was lost along with her soul.

Being lifted into a strong cold current.....carried to the bowels of hell.....take her back to my home.....contact her mother.....find them.....we need to start searching....couldn't have gone far....nothingness....darkness.....cold current....in the house.....give her to me.....freezing blanket...easy baby I have you.....daddy........ssshhhh it'll all be okay....you're safe....warmth...soft comfortable warmth......never leave again.....daddy......where are you......death surrounding...lifeless nothing......why daddy....why

"Edward, I had no choice. We all feel the same way but she was so hysterical. Edward, you saw it for yourself, I know you did. She broke past Sam Uley. Considering the man's size I was shocked. She ran into the living room and......" Carlisle couldn't continue. "I never want to see anyone like that again. Edward, she ran. We all thought she was running from what she saw. She ran to her room. I couldn't exactly break down the door in front of all of them. Sam and his guys got the door open. She was down on the floor. All she was saying was she had no one left. She said she had lost everything. That was when I noticed the box. The drugs. She was trying to commit...."

"No, not Bella. She is too strong to do something like that." Edward shook his head refusing to listen to anymore.

"Edward, the old Bella may have been able to handle what happened. She is not the old Bella. She wanted death. She wanted to end it all. I have seen it many times in my existence. I had to sedate her. I wasn't going to stand by and let her hurt herself."

"But, Carlisle, more drugs. Her body can't handle it. She's dying. That is all drugs do to a human. Couldn't there have been another way?" Edward walked back to the bed and pulled Bella and the blanket she was wrapped in tight into his arms.

Carlisle seemed to give up the fight for the moment. He backed out of the room. Edward continued to hold Bella.

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Bella felt as if she was waking from a bad nightmare. She curled herself tighter into the cold she felt wrapped around her. She felt safe. As the foggy mist began to left images began to become clear.

She had pushed her way with some unseen force past Sam. She stopped in the middle of the living room. A room that she had found a new love and understanding with her father no more than two days earlier. She had seen him laying on the floor of the room. Strangely, he looked like he was sleeping. Wrapped up in a sea of blood.

Bella began to shake. She screamed and felt something holding onto her. She wanted to run. She wanted the pain to stop. She needed something to finish the cruelty that was her life.

She had lost everything now. Edward didn't want her. He left. Her father loved her. He left. Everything she ever wanted in life continued to leave her. She was alone. Alone in her pain. She wanted to be free. She needed the meadow. There she was never afraid. She knew what she had there. She had solitude from the world. She would be safe.

"Bella?" Who spoke? Her angel? Her death angel had come to grant her the one thing she wanted. Escape from the misery. Escape from the all to real pain. Had she needed to suffer so much before it would be finally over. Was that what is meant to live. To have unimaginable tortures happen and then snatch the very breath from her lungs.

"It's okay, Bella. You're safe. No more harm. No more pain." Was her angel promising that her death would be quick. Would it be painless? Would the living pain carry over to the meadow with her. Would it truly be her personal hell. Reliving the pain in a continuous cycle. One unbelievable torment after another till time ticked no more.

"I'll be here with you. I'm not leaving." Was her angel promising the one thing that everyone else had lied to her about? There was no need to believe anything her angel said. He was death. He would lie and make her believe all the pain, the heartbreak, the lies would stop. She would be torn away from the cruelty and given peace. He lied. Like the rest. He would leave her once she was in the meadow. She would continue on in the darkness. Alone.

"I'll never lie to you, never again." Her angel sounded lost. Confused. Why? Was he debating whether to continue her suffering?

Bella wanted the death to be quick. That was all she could ask. She deserved that much. Had she not suffered enough. "Please, make the pain go away. Just take me to my meadow. You won't stay. I accept my death. My loneliness. My darkness. It is what is waiting. I know and accept that as my punishment for not being strong. Just give me that one thing, my angel of death. Make the pain go away quickly. Please."

Bella could hear a cry coming from somewhere in the distance. Was it pain screaming its war cry? Was it death announcing its arrival? Would if answer her pleas? Which would win? Pain or death?

She decided that she wanted death to win. She needed it to all be over. She couldn't have what she wanted most. She wanted to be loved. Needed. Cared for. She would stare her death angel in the eyes. She would find the flames of hell staring at her. She would challenge him to take her life and end it all. The torment, the cruelty. Let her leave it behind.

She tried to look up wanting and willing herself to look death in the face. She wanted him to know that even after all that she had taking away from her she was still not afraid. She hurt, she suffered but she was not afraid. She accepted her fate and would go willingly.

Death pulled her closer. He wrapped his arms securely around her. He was like a dark winter's night. Chilling her to the bone. She knew she would never feel the warmth of her father's touch and she accepted that. She would never feel the love of her father or Edward surround her and seep into her heart and she accepted that. But the penetrating cold. Was that truly what it felt like to be dead? Was that something she could handle?

Yes. This would be the one thing death could give her. She would forever find herself wrapped in the cold. She sighed and smelled the sweetness that had been Edward. She would forever has his cold, sweet essence surround her for all time. She would cheat death of its pain. She would have some happiness amongst the anguish.

She found enough strength to push away from death. She needed to face him. She needed him to look her in the eyes and answer her. She would ask him to finish the play. Finish the suffering and pull the curtain. She would accept the little joy that death would bring.

She slowly looked up and her eyes fell onto her angel of death. Before focusing on him she asked in a determined voice, "Take my life from me. I am finished. I have nothing left."

She felt the tears threatening to weaken her request. She sheltered her face so death wouldn't see that she feared the unknown. She didn't want death to misunderstand that the tears as those of fear. She was determined to end the pain. This would be her one way to do so.

She paused, holding her breath. Why was death not answering her? Why was he prolonging the suffering? Was he gloating? He won as he always would. Death was inevitable. It happened to everyone so why is he waiting.

She heard the wail in the distance again. She wondered why pain was hurting. Did it finally realize that she had won? She was in death's grip. She would soon be free and unable to be harmed by pain's song anymore. She smiled. She had won and pain knew it.

She waited. Death would be a welcoming to her now. The war was over. Pain had lost. But she did have one regret. In her death she could still give life but it was too late. She had pushed him away. Edward. He could continue. He would live if only she had been strong enough to give herself willingly when she had been asked.

He would never take her life to save his own. She wondered why. Did he love her that much? Did he want her to have a life he never could? He fought his nature. He fought his breed. He had told her he didn't want to be a monster. If he took her life would that make him the monster he was so determined to deny.

Her angel of death replied, as if able to hear her thoughts, "He won't live one day without you. You are the best of him. You are everything he wants to be. You're strong. You're alive. You're his world whether with or without you. If you're not here, existing in this world, he doesn't want to exist either. The world would be a cold, heartless place to exist if there was no chance of you alive living happily. His misery all along has been knowing you were somewhere in the world hating him but alive and safe. He loves you. He always has. There's no denying that fact. But he won't live one more day without you. So if you die he dies." There was a pause. "And now I realize that if I die you will too, my beautiful angel of life."

Bella pushed herself away from her angel of death again. She allowed the tears to flow. She allowed the pain to leave her body on the flow of those tears. Her eyes cleared and she stared into the face of the man she would give her own life for.