Figs: Late again! I don't know what it is about trying to keep up with updates. I met to update it earlier today, but the Document Manager was on the fritz.

Thanks to all those reviewers and alert-ers that have been patient with me. This is your well-deserved chapter.

Chapter X

Farrago

-

a confused mixture; an assortment; a medley.

"You're Aunt Kate has her ways, believe me." Anna muttered with a tint of dark humor. Frances snorted into the pillow she was holding. Liz had taken to Frances room (both girls had been sharing after the incident with Red and Abe) for a nap. Anna had watched her leave with cautious eyes and sighed heavily once the bedroom door had shut behind the petit woman.

"She's losing it." Anna muttered faintly. Frances was startled by the statement.

"Mom?" Frances prompted.

"The poor thing grows weaker by the day. All pregnancies are different, but this one blows itself out of the charts." Anna humorlessly. "Her body is starting to show it. She can't bring herself to wake up in the morning; she's constantly falling asleep – even on her own feet."

"Isn't that all? She's just tired?" Frances murmured with some confusion. Anna gave her daughter a 'oh, really' look and huffed quietly.

"I wish that was all." Anna said tartly. "She eats, thank God, but she's not eating for herself. The babies are taking it all. Don't you see her, Frances, what are you looking at?"

Frances shrugged harshly with wide eyes. "Apparently a different woman than you are."

Anna snorted. "No shit. Her body's thinning. Even though she eats and sleeps, her body's reacting like she hasn't had a decent rest or meal in days. It's dying – she's dying."

"God, if the situations weren't shitty before." Frances angrily ran her hands through her dark hair. "And what will Aunt Kate be able to do for her? You're making it sound like her condition is irreversible." Anna's face was plain, but her lips ticked slightly.

"It's getting to that point, Frankie." Anna said softly. "She's very near breaking. I don't know how long her pregnancy is to last, but if she tries to go the full nine months… she'll be dead by the sixth."

Frances swallowed. "Mom, it's the end of November. She said she found out she was at least two weeks along in early September. That's nearly three months – are you saying she's only got three more before the straw breaks the camel's back?"

Anna's blue eyes were storming. "I'm being generous by saying she has another three months. You and she are on very tight timelines, sweetheart."

"Ain't it usually like that?" Frances said waspishly. "At least she's got more to her schedule than a couple of weeks. Two, excuse me." Anna looked undecided and was silent as Frances stood from the couch and shoved the pillow into the cushions as she stood. She wandered down the hall and was about to enter her bedroom when she remembered Liz had taken refuge there first.

Frances sighed and snatched her hand back like the metal knob had burned her and continued on after a faulty step. She passed by the guest bedroom as quietly as she could; she did not want another confrontation with the only males in the household (especially after Frances had a clear manifestation of what Hellboy was) and trotted away toward the bathroom. She slipped in and let the door quietly click behind her.

Great. Hiding away in the bathroom like some emotional and hormonally unstable teenager. God. I'm gonna be in my twenties, I thought I was past this. I only have a week and a half left. Frances had allowed herself to slide down the bathroom door and rest against it. For a few moments, she was at peace. Then there was a knock at the door. Frances scrambled to stand up and yanked the bathroom door open with a bit more force than she intended.

"Abe?" Frances automatically said. The fish-man looked equally startled at the sudden confrontation; his hand was raised to knock and the other was floating by his side with a sense of anxiety.

"Frances, I – well, that is – I wanted to check on you." A shudder went through Abe, as if his clumsy words caused him pain. "I mean, not that you can't take care of yourself, but I heard you walk by and I thought, oh bother… Should I turn around and try again?"

Frances was utterly confused and for some reason she could feel her amusement grow. "Turn back?"

"Right." Abe agreed mindlessly. "Let's try this again." Absolutely perplexed at his words and actions, Frances could only watch as Abe turned around and paced down the hall. He paused at the guest room doorway and then turned on his heel and turned to stand before her.

"Frances," Abe stated clearly, and continued after her hesitant nod, "I have come to inquire as to your state of mind and wellbeing."

Frances could feel her lips split into a silent laugh. "And you couldn't have acted more like a dork doing it, Abraham. What the hell was all that?" Abe seemed mildly frustrated because his back and shoulders took a slump and he sighed harshly through his mouth (or his gills?).

"Again, really?" Abe growled. Frances threw the door open wider and she laughed.

"No, no – I just… I have no idea what just happened. That's… I don't know what that was." Frances laughed again and stepped away. Abe took the cue and stepped into the bathroom and neatly closed the door behind him. Frances took a seat on the rim of the tub and Abe stood before her against the vanity counter. From the mirror behind him, Frances briefly spotted the sharp frill that traveled along his spine and down into his shorts. Frances quickly averted her eyes and Abe seemed not to notice the second long lapse in her attention.

"Really, though." Abe asked, calmer now. "Despite the circumstances, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Abe. Just tired." Frances answered truthfully. The least I can do is be honest with him. He made an idiot of himself for me. "That whole skit there… that was an act, wasn't it?"

Abe fidgeted at being found out. "Well, yes and no. I didn't plan it, but the look on your face… I figured a few moments of humiliation were worth a smile."

"Thank you," Frances said gratefully, "it was certainly a different kind of pick me up."

"I assumed that; if it can work for Red, then it should work for me." Abe explained. "I can't begin to recall all his moments. One of his sure-fire ways to reconciliate with Liz is by making her laugh."

Frances grinned. "My dad does the same thing with my mom. She's got a hot temper, but I don't know how he knows; he can pull the stupidest things out of his hat and have her laughing in no time. Then it's like all is forgiven."

"Humor does seem to be a deciding factor in many relationships." Abe added with a nod. There was a heart beat or two of companionable silence, and then France broke it with a small laugh that seemed to come from nothing. Abe tilted his head in question.

"My mom used to give me this quote, by Mark Twain." Frances said softly. "The secret source of humor is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. Then she would add that she always did her best to get as much of it as she could before the end, if that was the case."

Abe chortled gently. "I come to find that having conversations with any three of you certainly is a test in wits."

"Oh, we're not that bad." Frances muttered humorously. "It's just… my parents say that's how your pick your friends. The real ones."

Abe looked interested, his head now turned to her completely. "Oh? I can only imagine a piece of wisdom from the likes of your mother and father must be contemplated deeply."

"No, not this one." Frances said softly, her voice tinged with deep affection for her parents. "My parents tell me that our lives are really nothing but a series of photos with captions. It's those conversations that keep us strong. Find someone you love talking to and you can't go wrong."

For long moments, Abe said nothing. A minute or so past before he finally said: "I would have to agree."

Ω

It was a couple of hours into the afternoon. Abraham had done his best to keep Frances entertained and thinking, his way of distraction, she assumed. It wasn't until they had spent more than an hour or so in the bathroom that Frances finally caught his game.

"Hellboy's talking to Liz, isn't he?" Frances suddenly interjected. Abe had been telling a story of the time he and Red had been caught within a sewer line with rats ready to eat them and the local constabulary close to finding them. A story Frances would happily come to avoid. Found out, Abe's body seem to slump and his gills flattened against his neck.

"Yes." Abe answered clearly, his hesitance gone. "We believed it would be best for him to finally have a word with her, without interruption."

Frances rolled her eyes. "You know, you could have just asked me to stay put and not interfere. I'm a jerk, but not so much so as to butt into business like that."

"Oh?" Abe asked anxiously. "And you would have complied?"

"Well, duh." Frances said; miffed he would think otherwise. "You don't get into a row between lovebirds. Awkward moments abound."

"I see your point." Abe acquiesced. "But this conversation has more to do with Liz and her predicament than anything else." He didn't look willing to explain, his eyes were focused on something else over her head and his hands were still. All signs of his nervousness and stress. Frances decided it was best not to push.

"What time is it, I wonder." Abe muttered to himself. Frances looked around him and Abe followed the motion to find a clock that hung just behind his head. "Oh, conveniently placed."

"My pap and uncles left around twelve. It's already close to four. What the hell, we've spent nearly four hours in here?" Frances shock caused her voice to squeak at the end. Abe fidgeted, but with a different kind of nervousness. The one before was stiff and jerky. This one was fast and almost constant.

"Didn't your mother say they were to be back in four hours?" Abe said with a hint of excitement in his tone. Frances wilted a little inside with the knowledge of what she was about to tell him.

"Four hours meaning he was supposed to be back by three-thirty. My pap's weird like that." Frances swallowed. "This is going into the worse case scenario; he's not going to be back until the evening." Frances watched as Abe's once straight form wilted with the information; and she felt like an ass for opening her mouth.

"In any case," Abe's neutral voice made Frances wince, "we should exit the bathroom. Others may need it."

"Right." Frances muttered. She sighed and stood from the tub, her rear end and legs tingled violently at the sudden rush of blood and Frances froze to the spot. Abe was already out the door when he stopped and peered back at her.

"Something the matter?" He asked with sincere concern. It relieved Frances to know he wasn't going to direct his anger at her.

"My legs and ass went numb." Frances explained. A blush lit her cheeks. "So I'm waiting for the feeling to return and the tingles to go away."

Abe cocked his head to one side. "Liz used to get those. She'd sit outside on the benches for hours. Professor Broom would call her in and she'd freeze just like you did."

"I can imagine." Frances snarled through gritted teeth. "If I as much as twitch, the whole muscle spasms and that's hell."

"I know that much." Abe stated with a very quiet chuckle. "Red used to run out and knock her over before she completely recovered."

"What an asshole." Frances laughed; and then instantly regretted it as her lower end went into a spasm from her laughter. "Oh, geezus! You're an asshole!" Frances manage to get out before she collapsed onto the tile floor. Abe suddenly appeared by her side, one hand gripped the front shoulder of her shift to keep her head from the floor.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Abe muttered apologetically. "I wanted a laugh, but not one that resulted in cracking your skull."

Frances laughed again and smacked his hand away. "I take it back; I've been cursed to have you around. It'll be a miracle if I die by the Lycaons – you're set on bringing me down first."

Abe's head twitched to his right and a hand floated above her. "Then I think I've already won." Frances growled and shoved off the floor. Abe swiftly moved out of her way with a chuckle. Frances shook her head and righted herself upon her feet and just before she could think of a retort, her mother shouted from the living room.

"What was that?" Abe asked in alarm. "I don't think your mother managed any words."

Frances' head whirled around to Abe for only a moment before she bolted. "It's Kate! Aunt Kate's made it! Oh, damn – I can't wait to hear how she got in!"

Abe followed her into the hallway, unsure. "Why?"

"Because!" Frances laughed. "Pap always sets the wards against her – just for fun!"

Abe watched as Frances disappeared into the living room down the hallway. Hellboy and Liz had appeared from Frances' bedroom, confused and a little alarmed. They turned their heads down the hall to Abraham, who looked just as harassed.

"We've spent weeks with this family," he groused and stomped after Frances, "and I don't think I'm any closer to cracking them as I thought I was."

A/N: Comments, questions, concerns?