Warning: the "cannot tell fiction from reality" trope is invoked in this chapter.

-Johann's Room-

Johann woke up the next morning to the sound of his doorknob rattling. A sense of déjà vu hit him when he watched the doorknob slowly turn. He got out of bed just in time for the door to creak open.

"Mokuba," he heard a voice whisper, "no matter how many times you take my lock picks and use them, I will always be the real master of unlocking."

The door opened wider to reveal Seto Kaiba. In his hands were a pouch and a lock pick. Next to him was a metal suitcase. Johann and Kaiba stared at each other.

"You!" Johann pointed at him.

"Yes," Kaiba said, "I am Seto Kaiba, president of KaibaCorp. You must be Johann Bocks, winner of the Beginner's Cup."

"I am, and you've broken into my house!"

"So?"

"That's against the law!"

"Screw the law, I have money, but we're not here to talk about that. You're pissed at that thief for taking your prize, right?"

"Yeah, just like I'm pissed at you for breaking in."

Ignoring that remark, Kaiba opened the suitcase and showed its contents to Johann. Inside were some mechanical pieces that looked like they would fit on a Duel Disk. Kaiba picked up Johann's Duel Disk and started fitting the parts onto it.

"I'm giving you upgrade parts to your Duel Disk." He explained. "On the Duel Radar, you can now see the strength level of the duelists you find. The thief is a duelist, and a strong one at that, so you should be able to find him easily. I'm also going to give these to the other duelists to help with the search."

When he was done, he held the Duel Disk out to Johann. "You want revenge, right?"

Johann thought back to last night and frowned. Not only was his prize stolen, but he found out that Yugi and Joey were also after it. They were probably still looking for him, and he had to get what was his before they did. He took the Duel Disk and said, "Yeah."

"Of course you do." Kaiba said. "Well, go get some."

He closed his briefcase and turned to leave. Just as he was out through the door, he stopped and said, "By the way, those parts add $25,000 to the Duel Disk's damage fine, so you better not lose or damage the thing or you'll be forced to work for KaibaCorp for the rest of your life."

With that said, he left. Johann looked at his Duel Disk and set it carefully on his bed. He got dressed and had breakfast before he turned his attention back to it. He fitted it on his arm and turned it on. In addition to seeing little dots and hearing beeps on the radar, he could now see stars next to the dots. Most of them had one star, but there were a few that had two stars.

"Alright," Johann said to himself, "let's do this."

-Shopping district-

Johann ignored everyone that had one or two stars and focused on the dots that had three or more stars. He had already checked the residential streets, Konami mountain, and the pier, but with no luck. He doubted that with so many people looking for him, Bandit Keith would stay stationary. He did not like the fact that he would have to recheck places once he had covered the whole city. He was also worried that he might have gone to another city altogether.

As that worry crossed his mind, he finally saw a dot with three stars. He followed the signal to a burger shop. Sitting at one of the outdoor tables was Yugi, who was eating a burger. Johann approached him and slammed his hand on the table. Startled, Yugi looked up and he blinked when he saw Johann glaring at him.

"Uh…"

"You and Joey pretended to help me," Johann growled, "when all you really wanted was my prize. Yugi, do you have something against me, or were you always this selfish?"

Yugi set his burger down and asked, "You want me to be honest with you? Fine. I was playing card games before it was cool, and I'm pretty damned good at it."

The Puzzle flashed and Yami took over. "Actually, I'm the good one here. Yugi was a wimp before I came along. Anyways, we here in the Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged universe may not always take our roles seriously, but they're still ours, dammit. I'm the King of Games, Kaiba's a loser, Joey's the annoying best friend, Tea's a whore, and Tristan is…well, Tristan. Everything was right until you came along.

"We all have our places; you, an original character, do not. Yugi was only playing around when he had that weak deck, but now that you've beaten him in the tournament, playtime's over. You've already won the Beginner's Cup, but there's going to be another tournament after that. After that, you may become the next King of Games, and I can't allow that to happen. I know that, and everyone around me knows it. That's why we don't like you."

Johann's face darkened. He slowly said, "Wow. Not only are you selfish, you are also egotistical."

"Me? Egotistical? That fits Kaiba more than—."

"You don't like me because you see me as a threat to your title. You're afraid I'm going to be a better duelist than you. Also, 'The Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged universe'? Are you kidding? You think everything centers around you and your friends?"

"Of course it does, that's why the show called 'Yu-Gi-Oh!'. I thought you knew…" Yami's eyes widened. "Wait a minute…Johann, you think that all of this is real?"

"'All this'? What are you talking about? Of course it's real!"

"You sad, strange little man. I hate to break it to you—actually, I'd love to break it to you: this is all just a fanfiction based on our show."

"Fanfiction? Show?" Johann couldn't believe what this guy was saying. "You're crazy, you know that? I played along with your throwaway terms because I thought you were joking, but now I see that you and your friends are all delusional, selfish egotists. I used to respect you, you know that? Well, no more. I'm going to get my prize back, and I'm through with you."

Johann turned and walked away. Yami folded his arms and lowered his head.

You know, Yugi thought, this is suddenly turning into Toy Story, and Johann is Buzz Lightyear. I don't know about you, Pharaoh, but I'm starting to feel sorry for him.

I don't, Yami thought back, I'm going to have a fun time watching him squirm when he finds out the truth. Now, are we done eating? I want to get those cards before anyone else does.

-Near the river-

Johann did not find another three star signal until it was close to dark. It was not one signal, but two, that made put him on the alert. One of them had to be Bandit Keith, and the other either Yugi or Joey. He ran towards the direction of the signals.

When had arrived, he saw both Yami and Joey standing next to each other. Their radars beeped and they looked at Johann. Breathless, he said, "I thought one of you was Bandit Keith."

"That's what we thought too." Joey said. "But it only looks like we've found each other."

Their radars beeped again. There were two more three star signals, and they were heading towards their direction.

"My danger senses are tingling." Yami said.

Someone familiar came into viewing range: Bandit Keith.

"So we all meet again." He said smugly.

"Give me back my cards, Keith." Johann said.

"Again with that? You're like an annoying pimple that refuses to go away."

"Oh you have no idea." Yami said.

"I said that I was going to destroy you next time, and now you're really going to get it!"

Johann and Bandit Keith were about to activate their Duel Disks when a new voice said, "Don't be so hasty, Bandit Keith. Let me talk to the boy."

The owner of the other signal came into view. It was a man in a red suit. He had long, silver hair which covered his left eye. Bandit Keith backed away and said, "I-I'm sorry, sir."

"Pegasus?" Joey asked. "What are you doing here?"

"And why did Bandit Keith call you sir?" Yami asked. "Last I saw you two together, he had an invisible gun to your head and you dropped him through a trap floor."

"Times change, Yugi-boy." Pegasus said. "Bandit Keith here works for me now."

"Wait a minute," Johann said, "you're Maximillian Pegasus, the creator of Duel Monsters?! You had Bandit Keith steal my prize? Why?"

"Ah yes, you. You must be the lucky winner, Johann Bocks. I've absolutely wanted to meet you in person. I've heard all sorts of fabulous things about you, you know: a young, ordinary boy with no previous reputation who made his way through to the Beginner Cup finals. No one expected you to beat Yugi-boy, but here you stand, the tournament's newest champion."

"I'm flattered you wanted to see me, sir, but you didn't have to steal my prize."

Pegasus clapped his hands once and laughed. "Such manners! Yugi-boy and the mutt could learn a thing or two from you."

"That's because he doesn't know what a scumbag you really are!" Joey snapped.

"Scumbag?" Johann asked.

"Johann," Yami said, "this man stole my grandpa's soul and I had to enter the Duelist Kingdom tournament just to get it back, and he did all that just so he could get my Millennium Puzzle."

"Quite right," Pegasus nodded, "but I'm past that stage in my life now."

"Wait," Johann said, "you're admitting to what Yugi just said? You actually did all that? You…stole Grandpa's soul?"

"Admitting it is the first step for moving on. Now, boy, I would like to duel you personally. If against all the odds you win, I'll give you your cards back."

"What?" Bandit Keith spoke up. "But these cards are the rightful property of America!"

"Oh? Are you saying that I'm going to lose? I find your lack of faith disturbing, Keith."

"S-sorry sir. You can beat this kid for sure!"

Oh God, a duel with Pegasus himself. I have to give it my best.

"Challenge accepted." Johann said.

"Is it odd that I find myself rooting for Pegasus?" Yami asked Joey.

"Nope." He answered. "I'm also placing my bets on this campy goon."

"What supportive friends you have." Pegasus said as he started up his Duel Disk.

"They're not my friends." Johann said as he also booted up his Duel Disk.

"Duel!"

Absolute Pwnage vs. Faaaaaabulous!

To no one's surprise, the dark fog had reappeared.

"Oh yes," Pegasus said, "I forgot to tell: this is a Shadow Game. If you lose, you—."

"I lose my soul." Johann said. "I know; this is my fourth Shadow Game."

"I can kind of understand Pegasus initiating a Shadow Game," Yami said, "but he lost his Millennium Eye, so he shouldn't have that ability any longer."

"True," Pegasus agreed, "but I'm afraid that telling you how I got that power back would be spoiling the plot, and that would simply be unfabulous."

"'The plot'?" Johann groaned. "Not you, too. It was bad enough—you know what: forget it. I'll just start by placing a card face down and summoning 'Muka Muka' in attack mode."

[Muka Muka (600/300) is summoned. Johann has four cards in his hand, so it becomes (1800/1500).]

"Very well, boy," Pegasus smirked, "I place one card facedown and play 'Toon World'."

[A very cartoony story book appears and opens up, showing a pop-up castle. Pegasus loses 1000 LP.]

"With 'Toon World' in effect, I can now freely summon my Toons, and I'll start by summoning 'Roger Rabbit'."

[Roger Rabbit (1550/1200) pops out of the storybook.]

"Sadly, he cannot attack on the turn he is summoned, so consider yourself fortunate for the moment."

"Toons." Johann said. "You have Toons for monsters? I thought the creator of Duel Monsters would have more awesome cards than Toons."

"I know," Yami said, "he's pretty much a man-child that never stopped watching Saturday Morning Cartoons."

"I didn't ask you."

"Hey now," Pegasus glared, "there's nothing wrong with a grown man watching cartoons. Now, what are you going to do, boy?"

"Me? I'm going to play 'De-Spell'."

[The spell destroys Toon World, and Roger Rabbit along with it.]

"I summon 'Shining Abyss' and I attack with both monsters."

[Shining Abyss (1600/1800) appears and both it and Muka Muka attack.]

"Not so fast," Pegasus said, "I play 'Scapegoat'."

[Four sheep appear on the field and block Johann's monsters. Two of them are destroyed in the attack.]

"You got to do better than that, Pegasus," Johann said, "otherwise, consider yourself pwned."

"Johann," Yami said, "you're not trying to turn that into your catchphrase, are you?"

"If it annoys you, then yes: it's going to be my catchphrase."

"It'll never catch on, just like Joey's Brooklyn Rage."

"That's not true!" Joey said. "My catchphrase became popular outside the Abridged series."

"Sure, you keep telling yourself that, Joey."

-Many turns later-

Everyone stared at what had transpired: Johann had just beaten Pegasus.

"Noooooooo!" Pegasus wailed as he dramatically dropped to his knees. "I can't believe you beat me!"

"Damn it!" Bandit Keith swore. "You want your prize so badly? Take it!"

He threw a small box at Johann, which landed on the ground and tumbled towards him. Both Pegasus and Bandit Keith ran off without another word. Johann picked up the box and opened it.

"Finally!" Johann said as he took out five cards. "Let's see what I—son of a bitch!"

All the cards were 'Trolls' (0/0).

Yami and Joey looked over his shoulder and their jaws dropped. Joey said, "That sneaky Bandit Keith must have swapped them for the real prize cards!"

"He didn't." A familiar voice said. "That's the actual prize."

They turned around and saw Kaiba standing a couple feet away from them. He went on, "You didn't actually think I would give you some cards from my personal vault for winning the Beginner Cup, did you? If you want a real prize, prove yourself at the Expert Cup."

"You're horrible, you know that?" Johann said.

Yugi took Yami's place. "So let me get this straight: you gave a bunch of duelists these expensive upgrade parts to catch a thief to get back a prize that's not actually worth anything? We could have avoided all this if you had just told us that the prize was crap."

"I could have," Kaiba said, "but I really just wanted to send a message to the thief."

"That friends are worth more than trading cards?"

"No: that you don't **** with Seto Kaiba."

Joey looked at Johann and said, "Johann, I think I owe you an apology. I've been a pretty big jerk about the whole thing."

Johann put the cards back in the box and said, "Yeah, you have, but at least you've admitted to being a jerk, unlike some people."

"Hey," Yugi said, "who wouldn't want to take rare cards from Kaiba's vault? I bet you would have acted the same was if I won them."

"No, I wouldn't."

"You know, that's another reason why I don't like you: you think you're a saint, being kind and showing good sportsmanship and all that. Real people don't act that way."

"I don't think—!"

"I hate to cut this soap opera short," Kaiba interrupted, "but I have an announcement to make. Johann and Yugi, you are qualified for the Expert Cup preliminaries. Come to the Akihabara train station tomorrow morning and you'll hear all the details."

"Wait," Yugi said slowly, "did you just say—?"

"Akihabara?" Johann finished for him.

"Don't tell me the tournament's going to take place there!" Joey exclaimed.

"Yes it is, Wheeler," Kaiba said, "but I never told you to come."

"Are you crazy?!" Yugi asked. "That place is Geek City! Otakus swarm there like rats on a ship! We'll never make it out of there alive!"

"I really hope that's the case, but that's not why I picked Akihabara to host the Expert Cup tournament. As you've just said, it's swarming with otakus, and otakus have money. If every otaku bought tickets to see the semifinal and final rounds, do you have any idea how much money I would make? Enough to build a second Kaiba Land, that's how much. The tournament starts tomorrow, so be there or be square."

Kaiba flipped his coattails dramatically and walked off.

"Akihabara." Yugi muttered. "Can this get any worse?"

"Akihabara." For the first time today, Johann grinned. "This is going to be awesome! I'm gonna buy manga and video games, go to the arcades…!"

Joey and Yugi let out a collective groan.

Yeah, so Johann thinks all of this is real. This is not going to end well for him.

Johann stared at his still broken bike. He kept telling himself that he was going to fix it, but he had been putting it off. Now that he was taking a train to Akihabara, he no longer felt any hurry to fix it. He went back to his room and decided to look over his deck before he went to bed.

Huh?

While he went through each card, he thought he saw one of the pictures move. He rubbed his eyes and looked again, but he saw nothing unusual. He placed his deck back into his Duel Disk.

Maybe I'm not getting enough sleep? Makes sense, since I keep having those Mokey Mokey nightmares.