I'm trying to get back into the writing schedule I had earlier, so hopefully the next update will come much sooner. A quick warning: there is mild swearing in this chapter.
The sun did not rise the next morning. Instead, it was the pattern of the rain on the windows that finally roused Maria from her sleep. She could hear the howling of the wind and the occasional crackle of thunder. It was enough to make anyone want to stay hidden, warm in bed. Unfortunately, the rain wasn't the sole reason she wished to stay under the covers. The covers provided a necessary escape from the reality she did not wish to face. The reality that she would see the Captain, most likely within a couple hours. Believing she could stay in that house with him, knowing how things had changed, had been a mistake. She did not think she could face him again and she hated herself for it.
Finally, moving her feet out from the covers she shivered against the cold seeping into her room. She also hated waking up angry; especially angry with herself. Groping around she found her robe; huddled in the wondrous softness she shuffled her way into her bathroom hoping a shower would not only warm her up but also alleviate the growing anxiety she felt. She would have to see the Captain today. The words kept repeating in her head. She would have to see the Captain today.
She threw off the robe and nightgown as quickly as she could, wanting to avoid the brief moment of chill before jumping in the shower. She stood in the tub and jammed the knob for the warm water as far as it would go.
Nothing happened.
She turned the knob back, and then turned it on again. No water. She tried the cold water, keeping as far back in the tub as she could; in vain, however, no water there either. All the annoyance, anger, anxiety that she felt from the night before to the conversation with the Baroness to the rain and the thunder and the cold. All of it came pouring out against the poor shower knob.
"Damn you stupid piece of shit!" She slammed her hand against the tiled wall. She briefly hoped it might fix the problem; any of her problems. It didn't. She sighed, knowing full well she would have to confess to the words she had spoken. She had managed to keep her cussing in public controlled, but in instances like these the words simply flew out of her mouth.
Realizing she was not going to be able to shower, or at least, not in her bathroom, she attempted to climb quickly out of the tub to avoid the cold. In her hast she promptly fell face first into the floor. Her body tumbled at an odd angle and she somehow ended up completely sprawled face down on the freezing tiles. She groaned angrily and slammed her fist onto the floor.
Standing up shakily she walked out of her room and tossed her bedclothes onto the bed. She threw open the armoir and grabbed the first dress she set her eyes on. Before she managed to put the dress on, however, there was a knock on her door. She stared at the door hoping she imagined it.
"Is everything alright in there?" The Captain's voice broke through her thoughts. Not now, no, she was not ready yet!
She swiftly pulled the dress on and ran her fingers through her hair. Why was the Captain here at this ungodly hour? She tried breathing deeply a few times, hoping he might just go away.
He didn't, instead he knocked again, this time obviously impatient. She sighed and walked across her room as slowly as she could.
She opened the door to find his face set in concern.
"What happened?" He asked, looking around the room for a moment before turning his eyes back to her.
"I...nothing, what do you mean?" She couldn't bear to look him in the eye, her focus locking on his furrowed brow instead.
"I heard a commotion from down in my study. Are you alright?" His voice was lower than usual, he must have just woken up as well.
"Yes, yes, fine." She stared blankly back at him hoping for some inspiration. Her mind finally caught up with his words, "You heard -?"
She could feel her face reddening by the second. She knew he was used to her clumsiness. Yet now it seemed of great importance to be more graceful in his presence, to be more ladylike. She still couldn't place, didn't want to place, why she felt like that.
"You're quite the little sailor, aren't you?" He chuckled.
Oh dear.
How in God's good name could he have heard that?! She stared at her feet, there was no way she could explain herself. Those were not words for a governess to be using, and was most certainly not very ladylike.
"The pipes, there's no water in the pipes I think...no water." She stuttered still counting her toes. She had forgotten to put shoes on before answering the door. She was beginning to feel like a sailor. She had expected that her first run in with the Captain would be something of a disaster, but this was exceeding those expectations by far.
"Ah, cursing my pipes I see. Well, I'm sure Frau Schmidt can arrange another room for you until it's been looked into. I'm glad you're alright." He added and then with a nod turned away from her doorway laughing silently to himself.
She watched him walk for a moment and then:
"Captain!"
He turned immediately at the sound of her voice, "Yes?"
"I was wondering, if, um," She jogged her hand up and down hopping it might jog her memory. There was something important she needed to ask him.
"Yes?" He was standing in front of her again, his voice much lighter as though he could sense her nervousness.
"I was wondering if I might, uh, well, if I might, that is, if you don't mind, have Tuesday off?" Finally, the words found a way out and she felt another sigh flow through her.
"Of course. Is there, uh, any particular reason?" He asked. If she didn't know any better, she might have said he was nervous now.
"Oh, um, well, it's rather personal actually."
She could barely believe her eyes: he was disappointed!
"Oh, yes, of course, how rude of me." He straightened his jacket out, "Well, I'll see you at breakfast then, if that's all?"
"Yes, Captain, that is all."
She watched him as he walked away from her. It wasn't until he was completely out of her sight that she retreated back into her room and closed the door. She leaned on it for a few minutes, allowing herself to go over the entire conversation. Her conclusion: Tuesday couldn't come soon enough.
Tuesday dawned with an explosive headache and Maria spared no time in leaving the villa. The rest of the week had finally caught up to her. The day after the party had been mishap after fiasco after catastrophe. She had accidentally spilled a glass of milk on the carpet, then she had broken a chair just by sitting on it! The day after that yielded a scraped knee from falling off a bike, in front of the Captain of course. The day after that was Sunday and they had all attended church together where she had run into Sister Berthe and had to kiss the floor after their brief disagreement, this was in front of the Captain as well, though thankfully not in front of the children. Monday had been decent, mainly because the Captain had been gone the entire day, and when he had returned he had remained in his study brooding about something or other.
On top of all this, the Baroness had left the villa and returned to Vienna. This made Maria both elated and distraught. Neither feeling she could truly explain. There had been no explanation given as to why the Baroness had left so suddenly and for some reason Herr Detweiler kept sending Maria these looks as if he knew something she didn't. It was very unnerving given that Herr Detweiler had hardly ever offered her even a passing glance in the past; with the exception of the party and that had simply been "business". Maria tried very hard to avoid ruminating on the whys and hows of the Baroness' departure, as any thought on the matter tended to make her rather dizzy.
After leaving the villa so quickly, she soon found herself standing in the main square of Salzburg staring at the marketplace before her. The city bustled about around her as she tried to clear her thoughts. Today was not the day to think about such matters. It was an unnecessary burden on an already heartbreaking day. Of all the days this week it was the one day she had actually wanted to see the Captain. Not to talk to him really, or even see him for very long (she had realized the amount of time she spent in the Captain's presence was proportional to the likelihood she would make a fool of herself). She had simply wished for a brief 'good morning' as they passed each other in the hallway. He had a remarkably comforting presence, and today she was most in need of it.
However, she had not seen the Captain at all. She had taken her breakfast with the children and Herr Detweiler, who had informed her that the Captain was already in town on business. Knowing this now, Maria couldn't help but hope she might catch a glimpse of him.
She shook her head violently trying to assuage her thoughts. Again, this was not what today was about; not the Captain, not the Baroness, not even the children. Today was about remembering. She sighed and began to make her way into the everyday turmoil that existed in downtown Salzburg.
It didn't take long to find the vendor she needed. Herr Zierkirsche always set up his flower stand in the same place everyday and every year she bought the same bouquet. She walked confidently, eyes scanning, picking exactly what she needed. She wasn't surprised to find everything was the same as last year. Well, almost the same.
The prices had changed, drastically. Her purse suddenly felt incredibly light as she stared at the amounts.
Forty schillings for one bouquet! She had been saving for this for months and still she would never be able to afford such an expense.
Disappointment set in as she continued to stare longingly at the assortment of flowers. She tried to find the cheapest ones but even those were more than she had. She watched sadly as a young woman bought three bouquets in rapid succession as though it hadn't even occurred to her to check the prices. Maria doubted the woman even heard Herr Zierkirsche when he announced how much she owed.
Deciding it was too disheartening to stay at the stand any longer, Maria turned and slowly made her way down the street. She stopped briefly to allow herself one last look – trying to remain determined. People kept jostling her as they ran around with their own purchases. Oh well, her parents had been more fond of wild flowers anyway.
She turned around and found herself facing the neat knot of a single windsor tie. She had seen the tie before and upon seeing the face of its owner she smiled softly.
"Good morning, Captain." She said, stepping back, he must have nearly run into her, given his proximity.
"Good morning, Fraulein. Enjoying your time off?" He was so calm that is was difficult to explain the sudden jumble of nerves that had erupted in her belly.
"Yes," She stumbled in her words, she didn't like lying if she could avoid it, "well, no."
She glanced back at the flower stand. His eyes followed her movements and a small smile appeared on his lips.
"Looking to buy?" His eyebrows piqued in anticipation.
She sighed, "Yes."
Now knowing she wouldn't be able to afford the flowers she needed, it felt somewhat humiliating having someone else know as well. She saw his smile grow and had only a brief moment to wonder what he was going to do, and then he touched her elbow and all thought disappeared. He guided her to the spot she had been standing at moments before.
She stared at him while he looked over the various floral arrangements. Herr Zierkirsche was working with another woman, a very finicky woman who couldn't seem to make up her mind. Maria notice the woman taking notice of the Captain who was far too busy to notice any of it. The woman seemed quite pleased with the Captain, looking over his entirety with a sly grin. This woman was making Maria feel even more uncomfortable with the situation. She was fully prepared to tell the Captain she did not need him to buy her flowers, that she would be fine without them, and this woman was now distracting her from her thoughts on how best to phrase her 'oh, thank you but no's'.
"Now, what were you looking at, Maria?" The Captain's voice broke through her thoughts, and caught Maria so off guard she forgot what she was going to say.
"Oh, well, I..." She looked to see the woman smirking at her, "Those, the violets and edelweiss combination."
This statement turned the woman's smirk into a look of complete indignation. As the Captain happily payed the proprietor, the woman cast him one last look, this time in distaste, and headed off to do the rest of her shopping. Maria became quite pleased with herself as she watched the other woman walk away. The feeling quickly disappeared when the Captain handed her the flowers.
"Oh, Captain, you really didn't have to -"
"Please." He spoke politely, but his voice and manners left no room for argument.
"Thank you." It really had been a wonderfully nice thing for him to do.
"You are quite welcome." His smile broke into an intoxicating soft laugh which she couldn't help but join.
As they walked away from the hustle of the market, Maria found herself looking over at the church realizing that very soon she would have to depart the Captain's side, head to the cemetery and pay her respects. She stopped walking and he stood in front of her as though anticipating their impending departure. Yet, in that second he seemed as happy as he had been after the puppet show. His smile seemed almost permanently fixed, his stance relaxed and open, as though these were the moments he had been longing for, the moments, perhaps, he thought he'd lost. It was staggering to know she was a part of those moments, that she had somehow helped, even if her part had been small.
"May I ask -"
"Yes?" She hadn't meant to interrupt him, but he had interrupted her thoughts and she still felt rather jumpy in his presence.
"For whom did you buy the flowers?" He rocked on his feet as he spoke, and this sign of nervousness is what allowed her to feel comfortable, not only in his presence but also in providing him with a truthful answer.
"My parents." As she spoke she pointedly looked at the cemetery. His eyes followed, as she knew they would. His face registered what she was telling him, dropping slightly before his eyes returned to her.
"I'm sorry, I...I didn't know." The sympathy filling his eyes threatened to overwhelm her. She had a feeling she knew why he would feel so strongly about death.
"It's quite alright." She was tempted to explain that it had happened many years ago, but revealing such a detail seemed oddly vain; as though it said she could be so brave since it had happened long ago.
He had turned to stare at the cemetery again. She wondered what he was thinking; marveled at how such a strong, brilliant, confident man could be broken by something so simple. But, then again, the love he'd had for the late Baroness must have not been so simple. It must have been something as strong, brilliant and confident as he was. She wondered what it would be like to receive such a love. It gave her chills.
"Do you need someone to accompany you?" He asked gravely.
"That won't be necessary, Captain." She offered a slight smile, trying to alleviate some of his tension. It didn't. Instead he turned back once more to look at the few graves that could been seen from where they stood.
"Are you...are you sure?" There was a glimpse of longing in his eyes as he asked her. She began to realize it wasn't so much her he wanted to accompany, but rather, perhaps he wished to visit someone else? Of course she had no way of knowing where the late Baroness was buried, but knowing the Captain, something told her Baroness von Trapp would not be far from home.
"Yes," She moved to catch his eyes and once he had turned back to her she tried desperately not to seem like she was aware of his need, "however, if you'd like to join me, you are welcome to."
"Are you sure?" He asked again, this time more hopeful.
"Mmhmm," she hummed. Besides, having the Captain by her side was always a soothing reassurance.
He took one last glance at the cemetery and then said, "excuse me, one moment."
He touched her arm as he moved past her, sending shivers up her spine. She watched him walk back into the crowd and towards the flower vendor. Maria couldn't help but smile as she watched him buy a large bouquet of red roses. Her eyes never left him as he hurried back towards her, his head bowed, gait oddly stiff. Once he reached her he offered her a tight smile and they headed into the cemetery together.
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