I'm back! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving, I know I did. Between the cooking and the eating, I was able to get back to writing. This chapter is a little longer than my others, cause you guys deserve it!
Disclaimer: I own nothing!
I couldn't believe how Leah seemed to just fly off the handle like that. That wasn't my intention; I was just upset that she wanted respect when she hasn't shown any. And what she said about Jake not wanting me hurt. I already knew that, but to hear it said out made it all the more real.
I knew I couldn't dwell on this for too long, or I would start to feel the pain, and I wanted to be a stronger Bella then I was yesterday. I could handle this; I'm not going to let Leah get to me like that.
I left my thoughts and tuned back in to what the guys were saying.
"Well can't you just Alpha order her to tell us what she knows" Quil huffed
"No, I don't want her to feel more shutout then she is. Forcing her to tell us would break that trust she has in us, as little as it is." Sam explained.
"Well, I've noticed that she's been reading some journals that mom had." Seth said. "I can check with her to see if she has anymore or check to see which ones mom gave her."
"Okay, let's start there. If it comes down to it, I will order her to tell us, but only as a last resort. I don't want to jeopardize the pack." Sam said
With that said, Sam went on to talking about patrol routes. I knew that was my cue to tune out. I decided that I wanted to head out to the beach for a while. I needed to think and clear my head. I was really trying not to let what Leah said get to me, but it was getting to be too much.
I picked up my plate and headed to kitchen to wash it. As I got to the sink, Emily stopped me and took my plate,
"Don't let what Leah said get to you Bella; she's going through so much right now. I'm not defending her actions, but I think she's just acting out. She's always liked getting attention any way she could, and I think that's what she's doing.
"I really want to believe you Emily, but her actions are not of someone just acting out. I feel like she set out with the purpose to hurt me. She's not happy, so those around her can't be happy. I know she's your cousin, but I think you are defending her actions. I think that's one of her problems, everyone lets her do what she wants, because they are scared of upsetting her more than she."
"Your right Bella, we do tread lightly around her, she's just been through so much, and we don't want her to hurt anymore.
"I understand that Emily, but sometimes you have to hurt in order to get over something. By treading lightly around her, she's never going to get over the issues that she has. I'm heading down to the beach, could you let the guys know?" With that I grabbed a muffin, and headed out the back door.
I tried to understand where Emily was coming from, but I just couldn't. Anyone that did something with the purpose of hurting someone else shouldn't be defended. Leah knew when she started seeing Jake that he and I were together. I know all the blame isn't with her, I know Jake had a choice in this matter also, but it hurts more, because she knows what it feels like to have your man cheat on you. Although Sam didn't start seeing Emily until after him and Leah broke up, I know it still hurt her that Sam chose Emily over her, imprint or not.
When I got to the beach, I went to my favorite piece of driftwood and sat down. It had so many memories. The best one was where I finally told Jake how I felt and that I was ready to give him chance. That was such a wonderful day. If only I knew how it would all end, I would have never given into my feelings for him.
I don't know how long I sat there looking out into the water. I always felt such peace here. Sitting here, I could forget all my problems and forget all my cares. I looked up and realized that it was getting late into the afternoon, and that I should get back before the guys start to worry about me. As I was getting up, I heard a voice that I really didn't want to here,
"Hey Bells, can I talk to you for a minute?"
I turned around and came face to face with Jake. "What do you want Jake?" I didn't mean to sound so harsh, but I couldn't help it after all he had done.
"I just want to talk to you, explain what's been going on..."
I cut him off, "What is there to explain Jake? Are you going to explain how you've been seeing Leah behind my back, explain why you been stringing me along for so long? If you wanted to be Leah, all you had to do was tell me, why go behind my back"
"Look, it's not what you think; I have a good reason for doing what I've been doing"
Did he just say that he had a good reason for cheating on me with Leah? I don't believe him, I've had enough, I have to get out of here,
"Look Jake, there's nothing you can say to me right now; I need some time to process all of this. I don't want to talk to you right now. I'm heading back to Sam's, I'm sure Paul will be wondering where I'm at". I knew throwing Paul in my sentence was a low blow, but I was just feeling so hurt and so upset.
"Oh yeah, run back to your new boyfriend. He doesn't deserve you, you are mine, and you will be always be mine"
"I'm not a possession that can be owned Jake. Besides, I stopped being yours the minute you decided to start seeing Leah". With that I turned around and starting walking away. I hadn't gotten far when I felt a hand roughly grab my arm.
"I'm not through talking with you yet. My patience is running thin, I suggest you not upset me more then I already am" Jake said as he gripped my arm tighter.
"Jake, you're hurting me let me go. I don't know what's going on with you, but this isn't you".
Jake pulled me closer to him, and for the first time, I noticed that his eyes were no longer the beautiful brown that I loved, they were yellow, the color of a wolf,
"You're right this isn't Jake, this is his wolf, and I'm tired of playing games with you. If it was up to me, I would dispose of you, but you make Jake happy. All we need is Leah. She's the perfect Alpha mate, she beautiful and strong and needs to rule by my side. But I have to keep Jake happy, which means dealing with you. He loves you; even now he is struggling to take back control because he's scared of what I might do to you.
With this Jake, or I guess his wolf, closed his eyes and sniffed the air, "Ah, my pack is coming to your rescue, you have them all ensnared somehow, interesting. I think I'll give Jake control back, let him take the fall for this" With that, I was looking back into the eyes of my Jake.
"Bells are you okay, I tried to get back, but he's so strong, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner what was going on. Please forgive me for..." he didn't get finish as some of the pack came barreling onto the beach.
"I suggest that you take your hands off of my imprint if you want to keep them", I heard Paul growl out
Jake let go of me and took a step back as I was suddenly pulled into Paul's arms. I couldn't let them put the blame on Jake; I had to tell them what was going on. Just as I was about to say something, Jake caught my eye and shook his head. I didn't know why he didn't want me telling them what was going on, but I would keep it to myself for now.
"Paul I'm sorry, you know I would never hurt Bella. I just wanted to talk to her and things got a little heated. I won't let it happen again"
"Damn right you won't. Come on Bella, let's get you home."
"You guys head back to the house, I'll catch up in a minute; I just want to talk to Jake real quick about something"
Paul didn't look too happy with me, "I don't want to leave you alone with him; I don't know what he might do. He doesn't seem to stable.
"Paul please, it will only take a minute or two. If I haven't come back in five minutes, you can come and get me okay?" I tried giving him my best puppy dog look.
Paul seemed to struggle with himself for a few seconds before he sighed and let me go, "Fine, five minutes and that's it" Then he directed his eyes to Jake, "If one hair is out of place, I will tear you to pieces, future Alpha or not" With that, Paul and the rest of the guys turned and headed back to the house.
I walked over to Jake and pulled him into a hug. "Jake you have to tell them what's going on with you. This is not normal."
"I know Bells, but I don't want the pack to know what's going on yet. I'm going to talk to my dad, see if knows what may be going on. Please, you can't mention it yet. I'll tell them eventually, but not right now.
I sighed, I didn't want to keep this from Paul, but this was Jake, my best friend, I had to trust that he knew what he was doing. "Fine Jake, I won't say anything, but please, if it gets worse, you have to tell the pack, before your wolf gets more powerful and takes over completely. I don't want to lose my best friend.
He smiled down at me as he let me go, "Don't worry, I have it under control, you won't lose me, I'll always be your best friend."
I smiled back at him and turned and started walking back towards the house. I wanted to trust Jake, but I had a feeling that this was going to get worse, before it got better.
Whoa! What do you think about Jake asking Bella not to tell the others what's going on? Jake needs to stop being stubborn and tell them everything. Oh well lol. Review and let me know what you guys think!
Until next time!