Disclaimer: You know the drill by now.

A/N: This was a difficult chapter to write, i never knew when to have Lily confront James about leaving her behind... but I think I managed it to work... but don't worry, they will have plenty of more blowups concerning that AND other things.
When you're done reading the chapter, review. And then I'll update faster.

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James jumped up, sweating uncontrollably, out of breath.

"Relax mate, relax!" Sirius stood by the side of his bed, grasping his shoulders with a concerned look in his eyes.

"Y'all right now?"

"Ye…yeah," He answered, catching his breath "Just a bad dream"

Sirius threw a cynical glance in his friend's direction but didn't press the matter… yet. Instead he picked up a brown paper bag, filled with food and hurled it to James.

"Here you go. I Thought you might be hungry." He said with a wink.

"You were right. I'm famished!" James replied, ripping the bag.

Silence filled the room for a few minutes while James ate until Sirius all of the sudden spoke.

"Bad dream you say?"

James' mouth was full when he responded "Mmffjeah-"

"James," Sirius interrupted him. "Swallow before you speak."

With that he gulped down the piece of bread he was eating and gawked at his best friend,

"Who would've thought, that you'd ever teach anyone manners?"

Sirius merely shrugged, mumbled something about Lily and grabbed an apple that was lying on the bed.

"I never really did notice it before. But you changed after Hogwarts." James said still staring at his friend

"I guess…" Sirius shrugged "since we're talking of changes, let's steer the arrow onto you. You're acting odd."

"First of all, what was up with that metaphor?"

They both chuckled,

"And secondly, I'm acting odd?" He continued.

"Yes." Sirius simply answered lifting his feet up on the bed and leaning backwards on the chair he sat on.

"How do you mean?" James furrowed his brow.

"You know… you're just… different." He finished lamely.

"Ah, different… how?" James asked again, sitting up straighter than before.

"Well, for example you haven't mentioned anything about what happened for the past two months!" Sirius uttered as he threw the apple in his friend's direction, which he caught and paused for a second before responding.

"I don't really want to go over it all again; it was bad enough having to relive it in my dream. But, I may as well tell you that we didn't succeed."

"What happened?" Sirius asked concerned having read the letter from James months ago, receiving the flying apple from James and throwing it right back to him.

"Yeah… they uhm… they caught Frank and then Kingsley and I… it was just… it was horrible and Voldemort's still out there."

"I see. And they just let you go?"

"Yes, with a warning. They just left us there, chained up against a wall for almost a week. It wasn't until some muggles came up to the house with hunting dogs that we were found by accident. It was in the news all over Scotland and then the Order found out what had happened and oh god, it was crazy. We had to reverse hundreds memories and make the editors at the newspapers and newsstations retract the story…"

"And they just suddenly showed up?"

James who had kept his head down the entire time he had informed Sirius what had happened looked up at his friend with a solemn look.

"There is a Death Eater among us in the Order"

Sirius shuddered.

"How else could they have known?" James asked noone in particular angrily.

"What does Dumbledore say?" Sirius asked.

"I haven't seen him yet" James said earnestly "He wasn't at Hogwarts when I went to see him last night."

There came another silence and the best friends looked at each other worriedly.

Sirius broke the silence "I'm thinking of joining the Order. It's official, my little brother is one of them."

"What? Regulus is a Death Eater?"

"Yes," Sirius stared blankly into space "not that it's a surprise or anything. But I feel like I have to do my part now, save the world from being under the control of Voldemort and the likes of Regulus and Bellatrix."

James smiled proudly at his friend "It's truly miraculous that you turned out the way you did"

"That's true!" Sirius smiled with his eyes and glanced at his watch.

"FUCK! My lunch break was over twenty minutes ago" He said standing up "and my boss is pissed at me enough as it is. You know sometimes I think it isn't even worth working with muggles, they take punctuality so seriously" He snorted at his pun proud of his wittiness.

"What did you do this time?" James asked him wilfully, as if he were a small child.

"Nothing… I only slept with her…" Sirius trailed off.

"And?"

Sirius groaned "… and her daughter."

"Christ, Padfoot! You dirty dog."

The second James said that he placed his hand over his mouth with a fake surprised expression.

"Ha ha, James, what are you? A girl?"

"Heh, I'm starting to think so."

"Yeah, always fainting. Such a girly thing."

"Not so much fainting as just plunging down on my head and thus losing conscience." He nodded.

"Yeah… no, you're just a girl." They both laughed and Sirius continued.

"It's been a long time since you called me Padfoot. Too long." He pointed out.

"Now who's the girl? Stop getting all mushed up! Go to work Daisy!" He smiled at his friend and pushed him so he stumbles a few feet back.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gone, later!" And with that Sirius apparated out of the flat, leaving James alone in his bed. (A/N: In a non-gay way, hehe.)

James stood up and went to the bathroom, took a shower, brushed his teeth and whatnot, until he was fully dressed and ready to go and see his old professor.

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When James had arrived at Hogwarts he was told that Dumbledore was not expected back for at least another week. Feeling rather disappointed he apparated to the closest village. As James walked along the over-the-top Christmas decorated streets of Hogsmeade he felt a certain void inside of him, he couldn't help but feel sad. Distracted in his thoughts he accidentally stumbled into someone, ironically enough, Lily carrying their daughter in one arm and six bags from various shops, clearly out of breath and cold. James couldn't help but notice the cute redness in her cheeks, the snowflakes in her beautiful red hair and the way the greenness in her eyes hypnotized him.

"Speak of the devil!" She bellowed happily, smiling up at him and lifting Anna a bit higher up her waist.

"Let me help you." James said quickly, grabbing the bags swiftly.

"Thank you! God, I was starting to think my hand was going to fall off!" Lily laughed as they walked down the main street.

"That's not hard to believe. What have you got in here? Rocks?" He asked her peeking into the bags.

"Oh you wimp, but no, these are Christmas presents and decorations." She nodded.

"Ah, all right," James smiled and continued "So, you were talking about me were you?" He asked smirking, wondering whether Lily was mad at him or not. She didn't seem to be nut if he knew her correctly she was. Undoubtedly.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself James," Lily nudged his shoulder as she snorted "Anna and I were just wondering what to get Daddy for Christmas." She continued, turning her head to the girl she held and tickled her with her free hand, causing her to shriek.

He immediately stopped, "Daddy?" He asked his voice cracking.

"Have you forgotten?" Lily stopped as well and stood in front of him, "This-" She nodded over to her daughter "-is your daughter."

James sighed "I know that, but am I her 'Daddy'?"

"Well… yes." She answered confused, with a depressed look in her eyes.

Anna sensing the weird tension between the two adults, started crying loudly. James stood there, with a dense expression and finally said "What about Sirius?"

Lily looked up at him, the depressed look in her eyes replaced by a worried one.

"What about him?"

"Well, he's been there for you the entire time, hasn't he?"

She nodded in response, slowly, with a glint in her eye that told James to lay off it but his instincts told him to press the matter.

"So why isn't he her father? Or as you put it her 'Daddy'? He doesn't seem to have a problem with it… I mean, the two of you seemed pretty cozy last night." The feeling he'd felt before had been swapped with anger.

"How dare you! You rude b-a-s-t-a-r-d!" She stared up at him angrily not wanting to swear in front of her child, who seemed to be very interested in the fight between the two adults.

"Well, it was pretty obvious what was going on! Tell me, do you enjoy ripping my heart to pieces?"

"What? What was going on? Sirius told me that I had fallen asleep so he decided to carry me to my bed and all of the sudden you appeared out of thin air, fainting yet again!" She retorted into his face.

James opened his mouth to answer but she cut him off.

"And talk about ripping hearts to pieces, you left me alone in your apartment! And all I got was this ghastly vague letter that didn't explain anything about where you were going. How was I supposed to take that? It looked like a rejection, James!" She yelled once more.

James' expression softened with every word she spoke and nodded uncomfortable. But still his pride got the best of him.

"You know what Lily? I can live without you, you know!" He spoke again rather loudly.

Lily stared, rather put out, but she quickly got a grip and replied "You just go ahead and do that, James! See if I care, I can live withou you too you know!" She walked hurredly away from him, and with that Anna started crying hysterically in her mother's arms and held out her hands longingly in James' direction.

James gazed asthonished at his own words at his child and quickly realized what he had said and ran after her, "Lily wait!"

"Leave me alone, Ja-"

James ran up to her and interrupted her, suddenly very tranquil.

"I'm sorry."

Lily shifted a bit, rocking Anna in her arm, who was at that point bawling her eyes out.

"I'm sorry for the way I acted. Come on, let's go check up on Rosmerta and have some butterbear. We can talk in there, Anna's cold and exhausted and quite frankly I think my toes have frozen off my feet." He dragged Lily, who was coincidently still angry further down the street.

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When they had sat down, gotten their butterbears and calmed the youngster down Lily and James finally spoke to each other again, having spent the last minutes in complete silence.

"She is awfully cute." James initiated, looking amused at the little girl, who was sitting in a high chair between them, playing with a toy wand, which let out glitter when shook, and shrieking with delight.

"Of course you would think so,-" Lily answered taking a sip from her mug "-She looks exactly like you." Her expression was still unreadable.

"Nah, not exactly, she has your eyes-" He gazed into her eyes for a moment but quickly continued, changing the subject,

"-So what did you buy?"

Lily gave hima slight smile and took up a book with purple elephants and yellow whales. James read the title "'The tales of Sonny the whale and Richard the elephant'? You can't buy a gift for Anna when she's out shopping with you"

She laughed at that and replied "First of all, she's one year old and doesn't even know what a book is, or at least I don't think she does… and second of all, that book isn't for Anna, it's for Sirius. He put it on his wish list this Christmas." They both laughed at that and James said "Ah, I should have guessed it. Sirius and Anna are a great combo, it's nice that she's there to keep him down on the earth."

Saying so he lifted up his hand and stroke the back of Anna's head, making her look up at him with her big green eyes and smiling a big toothless smile, she leaned towards him, holding up her hands and mumbling.

"DaJam! DaJam!"

James looked at Lily with a bewildered face, "She wants you to hold her." She smiled.

"I knew that." He said and lifted Anna up from the chair and placed her in his lap.

"Aww, look at the two of you." Lily said smiling cheerfully, she looked at James, who was staring at her with a definite glow in his eyes, and she moved her chair a little closer, lifted her hand and stroked James' hair. "A picture perfect moment"

Lily drew up from her bag her wizard camera and took a picture of the pair. When she looked up from behind the lense she had a worried look on her face.

"What's this? A bald patch?" She joked stroking the top of James' head, making James shift in his seat and touch the top of his head panicky.

"Where?" He asked rather loudly but stopped when he saw Lily laughing.

"Oh, good one!" He exclaimed ironically.

"Shh, look." She pointed down at his lap, where the baby was sleeping soundly, saliva running down the side of her mouth.

They both smiled, and gazed down at their daughter for a few silent minutes.

"I'm sorry I missed Anna's birthday yesterday," James said glumly watching Anna shift in her sleep "That was the reason I came unannounced last night. I know it was late and way past her bedtime but I did come as soon as I could after everything that happened" he continued now looking up at Lily.

"I see" She answered smiling at him "I'm glad you wanted to be there"

"Of course" James told her nodded seriously.

"What exactly did happen?" Lily asked him hesitantly.

"I can't relly talk about it here," He said after pausing slightly, gazing to his sides, "you never know who might be listening"

"Sorry" Lily whispered, realizing he was right.

He simply smiled at her in response and silence fell between them once again.

"This feels right." James said quietly breaking the silence minutes later.

"What does?" She asked him, stroking the back of their daughter's hand with her thumb

"This… us." He said again, smiling.

Lily smiled back at him, puzzled "What are you saying, James?"

"I'm saying, if you want to, I'd like to start from scratch."

"Start from scratch?" She cocked an eyebrow.

"Yep."

"That's going to be a bit difficult, seeing as we already have a one year old daughter." Lily smiled up at him, nodding downwards.

"I'm serious." James wasn't smiling anymore, he looked into Lily's eyes, very genuinely.

"Marr-"

She cut him off, placing her hand over his mouth, staring up at him.

"Before you say anything you might regret I feel obligated to tell you something," She started.

"What?" He asked her, taken aback.

"I… you should know that I… I'm pregnant." She finished, looking up at him trying to make something out of James' expression.

He sat for a moment and stared out into thin air, all of the sudden he stood up, handed the still sleeping child to Lily and said "Err… I uh… I've got to go. I uhm…"

James turned around promptly and doing so he stumbled into a large man, making James fall down and on the way hitting his head on the counter so he lost his conscience, yet again.

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A/N: So, like I said in the beginning, this is where you review and make me update faster. Kudos!

-BK

P.S. Longest chapter by faaaaaaaaaaar. That alone deserved some reviewing.