A/N: I'm back! Did you miss me? Well, did you? :) I had a great holiday and now I'm back to updating. So, without any further ado, welcome to chapter 10! Which is the last chapter of the first arc of this story.
I really like how this chapter worked out, even if it was difficult to write at times. Remember how in the last chapter Yami was accepted into the band and Yugi and Atem agreed to talk about their relationship. In this chapter they will have that talk. Will they make things work out and get back together? Go read to find out!
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!. I do own the plot to this story.
Enjoy! And reviews are and will always be much appreciated!
Chapter 10: Forgiving
Yugi smiled sadly as he glanced sideways at the slumped form of his new drummer. Even though the ride back to Atem's mansion only took a couple of minutes, Yami had nearly fallen asleep. Yugi hoped he hadn't worked the boy too hard that day. Perhaps they should take it a little bit easier on him for the next couple of days. He didn't want to work Yami too hard. If he did then there was a chance that Yami would quit, and Yugi didn't want that. Yami really was talented, and if he kept it up he could really come a long way. Yugi and the others just had to keep him motivated.
As Yugi turned onto the driveway to Atem's mansion he felt slightly odd. He wasn't sure what he was going to say to his lover yet. They had been so busy that day that the impending conversation hadn't crossed his mind until it was time to call it a day. He thought back to his own words during the short fight he had the morning Yami found out Yugi and Atem were more than just friends through a business relationship.
"Plus I'm pissed at you Atem. Pissed for being pushed around and not being listened to! Do you know how that feels? Well I'll tell you. It feels like the only thing I'm good for is getting you out of trouble and satisfying you in bed!"
Though the words had been spoken in anger and frustration, it didn't make them any more untrue. He kept the feeling away most of the time, convincing himself that he loved Atem and that Atem loved him back, and that this meant that he would have to learn to live with his shortcomings, but he felt it nonetheless. His emotions and his rationality clashed like they had never done before. His emotions begged him to realize that their relationship was only superficial, while his rationality encouraged him to look beyond that. Yugi prided himself in being a rational man in general, so he was determined to have a good conversation with his emotion driven older lover and move on.
Yugi gently nudged the drowsing boy next to him when he had parked his car. "Yami." He said softly. "Wake up, we're home."
Yami groaned and opened his eyes while yawning. "I don't feel like getting up right now." He said tiredly.
Yugi giggled. "Well, you'd better do so unless you want to sleep in my car."
Yami groaned again and pushed his tired body up. "On second thought, I think I'll get up after all."
Yugi shot him a sympathetic smile. Yami smiled back and moved to unbuckle his seatbelt and got out of the car. Yugi followed suit. The younger of the two stretched his aching muscles once his feet were planted firmly on the ground.
"Maybe we've worked you a little bit too hard." Yugi said apologetically.
Yami turned to him and shot him another smile. "Nah, it's all right. I was so nervous about today that I didn't sleep that well last night. I'll be fine." He assured Yugi.
In truth this was only partially true. Yes, he had been nervous about today, but he had slept fairly well. He just woke up early and couldn't get to sleep anymore afterwards. His current tiredness resulted mostly from his hard work with the band during the day. He hoped a nice hot bath and a good night's sleep would revitalize him to the point where he could take on anything Yugi and the others threw at him. Yet he didn't want to appear weak in front of Yugi. He didn't really understand why, but he felt a great need to please the young musician. Besides, despite the hard work he did have a lot of fun today. He really liked the other band members. Although he had to do the crash course of List no Drakana's drum music, and he had to work hard to pass it, the other band members didn't hesitate to help him when needed. They truly worked together as a team, and managed to laugh while doing it. Yami felt like he had stepped into a warm bath, filled with joy and appreciation. It was this environment that made him want to do his best, plus a little extra. It might be hard, but he would manage, he was sure of it, so there was no reason to worry the band's unofficial leader.
Yugi on the other hand did see through Yami's little lie, but was at the same time pleased that Yami wasn't going to be whiny about a little hard work. Despite his original reservations he was glad his lover's son had become their new drummer. He was exactly what they were looking for. Yugi decided to not pursue the matter any further. He would just have to keep an eye on Yami to make sure he wouldn't cross his limits. Besides, he had another matter that needed to be addressed now, and it was probably anxiously waiting beyond the front door. Yugi was actually quite surprised Atem hadn't been on the lookout for them. He had expected the front door to be thrown wide open upon their arrival. Perhaps Atem did realize that matters between them hadn't miraculously dissolved the moment Yami was accepted by the band, and opted for a more subdued approach. If this was true then Yugi was glad for it. He and his lover needed a serious conversation, which would have been impossible if Atem had been in an overenthusiastic mood.
Both young men walked up to the front door of the mansion and Yami pulled out his key to open it. Once the door was open they were greeted by the smell of hot food. Apparently Atem had already started cooking dinner, which was confirmed by said man's form standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Atem looked at the new arrivals solemnly, cracking a small smile when he saw that Yugi was there just like he'd promised. He was trying his best to contain his emotions. He didn't want to upset Yugi now that he was this close to getting him back.
"Welcome home." He said calmly. "Dinner's almost ready."
"Thanks." Yugi replied softly, though he didn't look at Atem.
Yami could feel the air becoming uncomfortable. He fidgeted a bit as he silently watched the other two, who were just silently staring at one another, most likely struggling with what to do or say. Yami realized there was probably more to this than what the earlier argument had revealed and he wondered whether they were going to fight, since they apparently weren't going to just kiss and make up. The thought made his stomach twist, and he would much rather disappear right now than be in the middle of it. Thinking it would be best to leave them alone for a while, he started to walk away, but was stopped by Yugi.
"No Yami, please stay." He said while looking at him pleadingly. "This needs to be settled between the three of us, not just between me and Atem."
Yami looked back into those pleading eyes. He wasn't sure what to make of it. Though he was glad that he wasn't ignored he also wasn't sure whether he should be a part of this particular conversation. He didn't really want to be in the first place, but Yugi looked like he was desperate to have Yami there. He didn't understand, but the look Yugi gave him made him feel like he had to be there, even if it was to somehow protect Yugi. Although it was probably quite wrong for a child to defend his father's lover, Yami felt like he owed Yugi for defending him several times before. So in the end he just nodded and followed his father and Yugi into the kitchen.
Atem quickly checked how his cooking was coming along before joining the other two males at the kitchen table. He sat down opposite his young lover, while his son was seated in between them at the head of the small table. There was a short silence in which both men were wondering who should start talking first and what to say. It was eventually Atem who spoke first.
"So…you wanted to talk Yugi?" He said softly.
"Yes Atem." Yugi replied equally softly, but didn't continue.
Another silence fell, leaving Atem to guess what Yugi wanted to talk about. Though he knew it was about what happened between them before, more seemed to be going on, and he had a sneaking suspicion it had something to do with the way Yugi had changed the rules of his ultimatum. Atem bit his lip. If he was going to find out he was going to take a chance.
"Are you still unsure on whether or not you'll forgive me?" He said carefully, hoping he wasn't wrong in his assumption lest he provoke his lover's anger.
Yugi bit his lip and finally raised his eyes to meet those of his lover. "That's not completely true Atem, but you're close. In truth, I have already forgiven you." Yugi saw Atem eyes become brighter in happiness, and knew that if he wanted to make his point come across he had to act quickly. "But that doesn't mean that we can just move on like nothing has happened Atem." Atem's expression became more serious then, making Yugi let out a small sigh of relief before continuing. "Those words that I spoke to you that morning, about how I felt, they weren't just spoken out of sudden anger and frustration. I have felt like that for a long time, but I kept pushing it away. I kept convincing myself that I loved you and that you love me, and that it was just the non-ideal circumstances of our relationship that made me feel this way."
"So what are you saying Yugi?" Atem interrupted, hurt once again lacing his voice. "Don't you want us to be together anymore?"
Yugi fervently shook his head. "No Atem!" He cried out as tears started to form in his eyes. He watched as Atem looked at him in shock. He took a deep breath to calm himself down and continued at a much softer tone. "I want us to be together. I just also want you to understand why I have acted the way I did." He turned to Yami. "It was wrong of me to involve you like I have Yami. I placed the fate of my relationship with your father in your hands, which should not be your burden to bear." He leaned back and stared at the ceiling while tears ran over his cheeks. "I was just confused. After the fight with your father I came to realize my true feelings and I became scared. I needed some more time to sort my own feelings out, so when Atem claimed he had made up with you so quickly I panicked and acted without thinking." He leaned back forward and looked Atem straight into the eye though his vision was still blurred. "I love you Atem, and I want to be with you, but I don't want to continue like we have before. Things will change now that Yami is here, but that's not the only reason. If you really love me Atem then you will start listening to me."
Neither Atem nor Yami said anything after that. The only sound was Yugi's quiet sniffles as he continued to stare at his lover's face while his words sunk in. Atem felt guilty for making his beautiful nightingale cry. He hadn't had any idea of the extent of Yugi's true feelings. Now that he finally confessed, Atem could understand his lover's actions. That Yugi had been uncomfortable about their relationship was no secret to either of them, but Atem had always assumed it was because of his original concerns; about their age difference and their professional relationship. It turned out that it ran much deeper than that. All those times when Yugi had lightly protested as Atem had dragged him along to his bedroom hadn't been an act of playfulness. Unknowingly those actions had built up to this moment. Atem stood up and walked over to the other side of the table. Yugi looked at him expectantly with tears still streaming down his cheeks. Atem took him into a gentle hug.
"I'm sorry." He whispered sincerely. "I never knew you felt that way."
Yugi hugged Atem back and buried his face into his shoulder. "Promise me Atem. Promise me you'll listen to me."
Atem's grip tightened a bit. "I promise you I will listen to you from now on. I love you, and I don't want to lose you." He said and placed a small kiss on his cheek.
Yugi pulled away and smiled at his lover, making him smile in return. "Thanks Atem. I love you too." Yugi rubbed his sleeve over his face to get rid of the tears.
The scene made Yami feel a little bit odd, but at the same time Yugi's confession had also revealed a lot. Although his father had simply claimed that they loved each other something more seemed to be going on. Yami could tell that Yugi, despite telling that he loved his manager, was actually quite uncomfortable in their relationship. It seemed that he at least realized that this relationship wasn't ideal at the very least.
"So can you now explain to me why I need to be here?" Yami interrupted their moment together.
Both Atem and Yugi turned to face him and Yugi couldn't help but blush a little for having him witness their making up. "I wanted you to know how I stand in this relationship Yami, and I also wanted you to understand why I acted the way I did. If only to apologize. Plus, we have more things to discuss together. Like how we are going to proceed from now on, what we expect from each other, and how we all feel about this. You are a part of our lives now, and we can't ignore that."
"You sound like a woman with all your 'talk about our feelings' stuff." He scoffed lightly, but also grinned to indicate he was only joking.
Although Atem was slightly shocked Yugi caught on to the joke and chuckled. "Well with all the testosterone in here someone needs to add a feminine touch."
All three laughed at the reply. Yami was glad he managed to lighten the mood, though he wasn't particularly looking forward to the rest of the conversation. He had yet to tell Yugi that his cooperation didn't mean he approved of their relationship. Atem turned back to his food to find out that it was ready to be served. While he plated up Yugi and Yami continued to talk.
"So…uhm…Yami, I was wondering." Yugi started, getting the other's attention. "You know, after your outburst I really thought Atem would have a very hard time to get you to talk to him. Do you mind telling me what happened?"
Yami frowned at the memory, but proceeded to answer him. "Well…like I said before I was basically just shocked when I found out you were…you know…'involved' so to speak. After I ran off to my room I heard you yelling to my father and leave afterwards." Yami paused and directed his gaze to the floor. "After that I heard my father literally break down. He sounded so desperate. I couldn't just ignore it after I had my own emotional breakdown the day before. So I went to him."
"And I felt so relieved when you did." Atem interrupted as he put the food-filled plates on the table and sat down. "I really thought I had lost both of you forever. If Yami hadn't overcome his shock so quickly I don't know what would have happened."
"What happened next?" Yugi asked while taking a bite out of his food, noticing how it was delicious like always.
Atem and Yami looked at one another to see who would continue. Atem nodded to Yami to indicate he should continue, since he had started the story in the first place.
"I didn't do much actually. I just apologized for what I said." Yami bit his lip and started to poke at his food for the next part, which still lay heavily on his mind. "I also said that this didn't mean I approve of your relationship."
When Yami fell silent Atem decided to help him out by continuing. "Despite that he managed to make me pull myself together. We had a talk about it over breakfast. I explained that we love each other and that we both want this. Yami was a bit reluctant to accept it, but we just dropped the matter after that, and went on like we'd planned to the day before. He went with me to my office where I eventually found out about his musical talent."
Yami looked up at Yugi again. "I still don't really approve of it." He said softly. "But it's not like I've got any control over it. I like you Yugi. You've been so kind to me and you've helped me so much. Although I felt betrayed at first I just couldn't stay mad at you, and I promised you I would give living with my father a try. So…" He trailed off and took a small bite of his food to give him time to think about how he was going to conclude his admission. Yugi and Atem remained silent so he could do just that. "I guess I can cope with it as long as you won't go all mushy while I'm around." He finally admitted.
Yugi smiled softly at the teen, knowing full well that this was only a compromise, but he couldn't blame him for it. "I can live with that Yami." He shot a quick stern look at his lover to indicate he'd better abide by it as well before turning back to Yami. "I can understand your feelings about this Yami, I really can. You know, when your father first admitted that he loved me I was so scared I ran out of the room we were in and straight back to the hotel we were staying in at the time. I had so many doubts and concerns that I thought I was going mad. But I eventually realized that I did love Atem as well. I know this isn't the most ideal situation we're in, and even though we've been together for half a year now I still feel uncomfortable about this. But at the same time Atem is good to me and makes me happy. Ryo and Tristan have accepted it, and Duke just really didn't care, but Joey also doesn't approve of it, so you're not alone in that. Just tell us if we do something that makes you feel uncomfortable and we'll stop." He turned back to Atem. "Won't we Atem?" He said sternly.
Atem knew that it was a rhetorical question, and hastily nodded his agreement. Yugi smiled sweetly and patted his hand in approval. Yami was relieved to know that Yugi understood his problems with the relationship. Perhaps this could work out after all. He would be happier if Yugi and his father broke up and continued on as normal friends, but he knew that he couldn't demand for that. If he had been a part of his father's life for the past ten years then maybe, but Atem was pretty much as much of a stranger to him as Yugi was. He may be Atem's son, but he felt that he had no right to interfere with this, just make himself as comfortable as possible.
Not knowing what more could be said, all three continued with their dinner in silence, though it was a comfortable silence. Now that everything had turned out all right there was no reason to be tense anymore. Atem was happy Yugi still loved him and still wanted to be his lover. Yugi was happy because he got a chance to pour his heart out to Atem and hopefully change things in their relationship for the better. Finally, Yami was happy that things finally settled down and he was starting an exciting new life. His grandparents were going to be so shocked when he would tell them he was now in a band. On second thought, perhaps it would be better not to tell them. They had been his only support after his mother had died, but now he had Yugi, and to some extend his father, and even the other band members. Things weren't turning out the way he thought they were going to, but he had to admit that this was much better. He now had a goal in life, though his grandparents probably wouldn't appreciate the goal he had chosen. No, he should wait telling them until he was a bit more settled in. Then he would be stronger in his conviction.
After dinner Yami was just about to drop dead with exhaustion. He excused himself to take a nice hot bath for his aching muscles before taking a good night's rest. Yugi and Atem took care of the dishes and settled down in the living room. They sat down on the couch together. Atem looped his arm around Yugi's shoulders and Yugi responded by snuggling up to his lover's side. They just sat like that for a moment, enjoying and savouring each other's presence.
"So how did band practice go today?" Atem asked in curiosity, breaking the silence.
"It went great!" Yugi said with a big smile on his face, something which Atem loved. "We started off with practicing the songs for our show. Yami worked really hard and can already play two of the songs fairly well. If he keeps this up we might not even have to postpone the tour, but I'll have to let you know how it goes. It's still too early to make any definite decisions."
Atem gently squeezed his lover closer to him. "That's great news Yugi. It would be really good for the band's reputation if the tour can go on as planned."
Yugi nodded. "Yeah, I know. I've got faith in Yami though. He's really good. I think we might have to postpone the release of our new album though. We should focus on getting Yami ready to go with our current music first and get this tour out of the way before even thinking about our new songs. They'll probably be changed slightly anyway with his input. He's not only better than Duke, but his style is also slightly different and I don't want to force him into style he's not fully comfortable with. We don't have much choice with our existing songs, but can still make changes to our new ones."
Atem placed a finger under Yugi's chin to make him look at him in the eye. "And are you okay with that Yugi?"
Yugi smiled. "Yes. The tour is more important and we get to introduce Yami then. The fans will understand it'll take some more time to complete the new album. It's not like we've got much of a choice anyway. Even with another drummer the outcome would probably the same."
Atem smiled back at his beautiful nightingale. He was glad Yugi was rational about this. He knew how worked up Yugi could get if something was delayed, but he didn't seem to be bothered this time. Atem leaned down and captured his young lover's lips with his own in a passionate kiss.
"Will you stay the night?" He asked after he briefly broke the kiss.
Yugi was slightly surprised by the question. Atem had never asked if he wanted to stay, he just always assumed he would. He was glad for the change though. It meant that Atem was serious about restraining himself for both Yugi and Yami's sake. After his initial surprised had passed Yugi's mouth broke out into another big smile and he suddenly hugged his older lover tightly.
"Thanks for asking Atem." Yugi said. "You have no idea how much that simple question means to me."
Atem hugged his beautiful nightingale back. "So will you?" He asked a little bit impatiently.
Yugi snuggled a bit more into Atem. "I think I'll test you tonight and go home instead."
Atem felt slightly disappointed at the rejection, but understood why Yugi said no. And for once during the past six months he abided by his young lover's choice. If he wanted to regain Yugi's trust, he would have to restrain himself. It truly signified the start of a new life for them.
A/N: Can I get an 'awe' please? I thought it was cute at least. I hope I got the emotions across. So they're back together! Yay!
Now that all the initial problems have been resolved the first arc is done, but more is to come. I haven't even gotten to the mobiumshipping part yet! So in the next chapter we're going to make a time jump to speed up to that part. So how will that work out? Find out in the next chapter of Torn between two loves :D.
I would also like to take this moment to make an important announcement. I'll be starting my first official job tomorrow. I'll be teaching Dutch students the beautiful English language. This is very exciting for me, but it will also take a humongous chunk out of my writing time. I know I said I wanted to start posting new stories, but I'm putting them on hold until this one is done. Once I start posting a story I feel this obligation to keep updating regularly, and I know I won't be able to do that if I burden myself with writing multiple stories at once. I sincerely hope I'll be able to update tb2l once a week like I used to, but I'll really just have to see how it goes. I'm currently working on chapter 13 and I think this story will eventually consist out of approximately 20 chapters, so I'm already a long way to getting there.
Love to my reviewers!