Authors Note: I must sincerely apologize to everyone I left hanging with this story. I will admit for a time I left fanfiction, and it was doubtful that I would begin updating again but I managed to regain my inspiration and now I am dead set determined to see this story through to the end. I have tried to avoid length authors notes on this story, so I will only say that this story is once again alive and well planned. This concludes the penultimate authors note that will take place in this story, as the final will be the epilogue, or a note explaining that I have died and my brother did not feel like continuing the story. Now without further ado, may I present a long awaited Chapter.

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon

The Hopeless War

Spadeleaf, I had to find it!

Frantically I dug through a bush and pawed at the small plants growing underneath, but none of them resembled what I was looking for. Panicking, I sprinted as best I could with my limp to another bush, but this time nothing was growing in the shady area underneath it. This is bad, I had to find it. Spadeleaf could be crushed over a wound to release a liquid that would help wounds clot faster. Blazefire's old scar had ripped when he came looking for me, I needed to find something to stop the bleeding or he would die.

Even though my injured foreleg was still aching from my tumble down the crevice earlier when I was still mindlessly scared, I ignored it and desperately searched for one of the few medical herbs that I could recall during my time with Vicky. Spadeleaf grew underneath bushes or other shady areas, but everywhere I looked so far all I could find was weeds.

I tripped and ended up tumbling through an old spinarak web. It was so old that the silk was not very sticky, but now I was covered in the stuff. As I frustratingly pulled off strand after strand from my fur, I was suddenly struck with an idea. I wound each strand that I could find around my injured foreleg, gathering up a large bundle of the spider silk. When I had gathered up all that I could find I ran off back to Blazefire, intending to use the silk like a bandage to help stop the bleeding. I ripped off a few Oran berries on my way for good measure, carrying as much as I could in my mouth so that I would keep the Spinarak silk clean.

I smelled the blood before I could find the crevice again, the smell guiding be back to Blazefire who was still unconscious and laying on his side. It took all of my strength to just flip him over so that I could treat his scar, getting a lot of blood on my hands in the process.

"Blazefire please hang in there, please! Don't die, your all I have don't die don't die DON'T DIE!" I started shrieking as I began clumsily wrapping the massive scar in the silk bandage. The wound was enormous, the scar stretched his entire length of body from shoulder to hip and ran very deep. It was a wonder that he had survived such a wound in the first place. My paw was shaking so much that I started tearing the bandage.

"Calm down, you can't be of any use mindlessly panicking like this" I told myself in an effort to smooth my breathing but I was nearly hyperventilating, the smell of so much blood overwhelming all of my senses. I had never done something like this before and I was freaking out and feeling very sick. Somehow, I managed to get the entire wound covered in a thick layer of silk before I couldn't stand it any longer and turned and vomited my heart out behind a boulder.

I noticed then that I had been crying too.

Remembering a lesson that Vicky taught me, I breathed in very deeply and then held the breath for a moment before letting it out, trying to calm down. I felt slightly dizzy after a few moments but it helped my pulse stop racing so much. Although my mind was still sick with worry about Blazefire.

What if I had made things worse by trying to help? What then?

I shook my head. I couldn't deal with these kind of thoughts right now, I had to keep tending to Blazefire. I ran back out in search of more spiderweb and surprisingly found a lot of discarded webs hanging from trees. There must be a lot of Spinarak and Ariados in this area. Normally, that would frighten the hell out of me, but in this situation I had to be brave. At least once in my life I had to do something. Be strong…like Blazefire.

I repeated this process several times, managing to remove the bloodsoaked bandages and replace them with new ones without vomiting again. Eventually the bleeding stopped, though I was worried because he had lost so much blood that it could be he had none left to bleed. The sun was high in the sky, it must be mid afternoon, I realized with a start. Blazefire had found me sometime in the middle of the night, how long had I been frantically running around?

All at once, the exhaustion hit me like a wave and I found it hard to balance on my paws for a moment. I was tired, and hungry, and thirsty, and sore as well. I shook my head, trying to ignore the uncomfortable sensations. I told myself I needed to keep moving, but when I took but a few steps forward I nearly fell down from fatigue. The smell of my vomit was putrid, as was the constant reek of blood in the air. I noticed for the first time that I was covered in Blazefire's blood. I wanted to clean myself, but instead I found myself facedown on top of Blazefire's fluffy tail. In a moment, I was out like a light.

I felt sick when I was first waking up. I stirred and groaned, feeling even worse than when I went to sleep. It wasn't so much as physical exhaustion, I couldn't put a finger on it but I was just exhausted. My head was throbbing and even moving hurt. I stirred again, and accidentally rolled off of what I must have been sleeping on. Sleepily I opened my eyes.

I was surprised to find myself inside of Vicky's clinic rather than back at the stone crevice with Blazefire. At the mention of his name I jumped and looked frantically all around the clinic, finally finding the lump of dark red fur that obviously belonged to Blazefire. I got up to move and suddenly my broken foreleg exploded in pain, making me wince and squeak pitifully. I felt like crying.

Why was my foreleg suddenly in so much pain again? I hadn't hurt it that much when I fell down the crevice and it had been healing well. More than pain, it carried the unpleasant sensation of my skin crawling underneath the bandage. That's when I remember, could this be because the Dark Matter in me was getting worse?

A sinking feeling of despair rose in my stomach as I twisted myself as much as I could and saw black marks on my fur. They were small, and a few even looked to be fading, but it scared me nevertheless.

Fear…that was the core of the Dark Matter in me. I learned that from my "experience" earlier when Blazefire had to come rescue me. But why then did it manifest in the form of ice? Something like that was unheard of. The more I thought about it, the more my head hurt. I wanted to sleep some more, but first I had to make sure Blazefire was alright.

I had to grit my teeth against the pain and got to my paws as slowly as I could so that I would not jar my injured foreleg. It was surprising how empty the place was. Aside from a dark shape in a corner that I could not make out, it was just Blazefire and me. Limping as best I could across the floor, I was startled when someone touched the fur on my back, making me squeal and jump. I spun around to see a familiar Raichu that I recognized as Ratchet. Before I could even say a word I was suddenly enwrapped in his arms, a bit of pain flaring up in my foreleg from his squeezing.

"Crystal you are alright! I was so worried when I heard that you had run off!" He said, then realized he was causing me pain and let go. I could see a bit of alarm on his expression at my condition, but I ignored it, the question of Blazefire's wellbeing pestering me.

"How did we end up here, is Blazefire alright?" I asked, shooting a glance to where I thought Blazefire was and saw that he still had not moved? Was he asleep or…

"Crystal, he is alright I promise you. In return, you need to get some sleep. You don't look so good, and it looks like you have been straining your leg too much." He said in a hushed voice.

"But-"

"I promise I will be here all night, just get some sleep. Blazefire is just sleeping now, he is out of danger." Ratchet interrupted. I wanted to argue, but at the same time I was tired. More than tired, I was still exhausted. Reluctantly I limped back to my sleeping place, Ratchet walking with me in case I stumbled. It got really quiet, and then Ratchet broke the silence by sitting down near me.

"So I take it you know the truth now Crystal." He said quietly, just in case anyone happened to be listening in I guess. I nodded, not really having much to say in return.

"Look, I know it's not my place, but don't be mad at Blazefire. I mean, I know he did keep the truth from you for a long time about what was going on, but he did it because he didn't want to hurt you. Same with me. Me, Vicky, and Blazefire. The three of us is everyone that knows you are carrying a half shadow Crystal. This is for your protection. Some of us here, even pokemon you think you can trust, all share in the hatred of shadows. That is why this little group was formed after all, to fight the Shadows day in and day out." He said, and paused a bit before continuing.

"That endless fighting has also changed some of us. There are a few here, who don't know what to make of their lives anymore besides the act of endlessly waging war against the Shadows. Yes, I too fight them. But…I believe that there is more to life than fighting. Others have forgotten that. Those are the ones that are too set in their ways to see things from another angle. They cannot change…that is their fatal flaw. They hate anything related to shadows, and that includes half shadows. Blazefire has been keeping his secret for a while now, but I suspect that if people were to find out his origins they would try to kill him. That's why we need to keep this secret. Because if they learned that you are carrying a Half Shadow Crystal, regardless of the circumstances they would kill you." Ratchet explained, letting the words sink in.

I looked down miserable. This was all just so unfair. My broken leg…my broken life…what am I going to do in the future.

"Oh and Crystal." Ratchet suddenly said, interrupting my thoughts.

"I know that you think that you are weak and useless, but if it wasn't for you, Blazefire would undoubtedly be dead. Your quick thinking in spite of the desperate situation is something to be admired, maybe you should apprentice to Vicky, I am sure that she would be glad to have you. She has seemed to have taken a liking to you."

"But, Blazefire only got hurt because of me. I got scared…and ran off." I argued.

"You can think of it like that if you want, but in the end what is done is done. What you did took some strength, that's a fact." Ratchet said.

I could tell that he was trying to cheer my up and get my thoughts away from the matter at hand. I smiled at his praise to show my thanks and curled up on the cushion, still tired and hurting from the headache. Ratchet went to the wall of the nursery and sat down, leaning against the wall. Was he really going to sleep there? Keeping guard all night over just the two of us since Vicky was absent. But why-

It was simple. Pokemon he cared about where here. There was no way in hell he would let me or Blazefire be caught unawares while he could help it.

I deeply admired Ratchet's sense of loyalty. He and Blazefire seemed to be very close friends, despite how rude and irritating Blazefire sometimes acted. They accepted each others flaws and lent each other strength in dark times. He had a strength and purity that I wished I possessed. Then again, Ratchet had been though a lot more than I had. Probably just as many battles as Blazefire, and he had probably been shattered many times. Perhaps he valued his friends so much because they were all that he had left.

His guiding purpose in this cruel hopeless world: Friendship.

That made me think. What is my guiding purpose, the reason that I keep waking up and living my life in spite of all the horrible things that fate keeps throwing at me. Why am I here…

What do I live for…

I pondered the question endlessly until my fatigue got the better of me and I fell asleep, feeling comforted and safe. Things were going to be tougher, but at least I was not alone.