A bit longer because quite a bit happens here. I tried to make it well-written because it DOES hit a VERY sensitive topic (depression/suicide). If you are easily affected by these things, either brace yourself or please read something else. I'm not trying to sound attention-greedy or anything, I'm quite serious. I do not want to offend or hurt anyone, nor do I wish to remind anyone of anything that could have happened in anyone's past.

Chapter Nine: Portal

At first, he thought he was in heaven.

But then he remembered what had come to pass, and he remembered where he was.

His mind was still foggy, as if half in a dream, half in reality. His limbs—they, too, refused to move, still swimming in a heaven that no longer existed.

His eyes, clearer than before, glistened like pure water illuminated by the golden son.

And then he remembered what he must do.

Joe was sprawled on the sofa, watching the television, wondering if the headline news was going to appear.

"Hm, interesting, a traffic jam on the interstate even though it's the weekend," his mother commented lightly. Then she exited the living room. "I'll make you some lunch, honey. You feeling all right?"

And she was gone before Joe could reply.

What he was expecting…

Why wasn't it showing?

His brow furrowed. He had been so sure it was a clean kill.

Perhaps his parents hadn't reported it to the police. Or perhaps his parents hadn't even bothered opening up his bedroom door to find the atrocity that lay before them on the ground, as good as dead.

Joe turned off the TV. He was incredibly bored. He loped upstairs, swaying unsteadily to one side. Every few steps, he had to catch himself on the railings or on the wall to make sure he didn't fall over.

A strange weakness gripped his limbs and exhausted his heart.

The mirror was there, in Katherine's room, as clean as ever…

Unconsciously, he staggered towards it. Everything else seemed slightly out of focus, as if he was in a stupor, half-dreaming, half-awake.

Only one, quiet word escaped his lips before he collapsed before the mirror.

"Ruflorrin…"

He was quite sure it was a dream. That girl, with her copper hair, was bent down next to him, helping him up…

"Are you okay?"

Was he okay?

"It's all right. You're here now." She stepped back and smiled a wide, close-lipped smile of contentment. Behind her, the yellow-haired boy appeared his bright, feline eyes fixated on him.

Then the yellow-haired boy offered him a goblet. Within it, crimson liquid slopped back and forth, dancing droplets flying into the air in an arc and splashing back into the main body of scarlet. "Drink."

What was that stuff?

"You, the warrior of Legion…" Ruflorrin murmured. Her eyes narrowed and her smile grew grim. "Stripped down to a mere shadow. And yet…Legion still sees some hope in you…"

Then they both faded into the climbing shadows.

And a voice, a deep, ancient voice laden with a memory extending beyond time, a voice that did not belong to the shackles of Time, a voice that belonged to a one whose legacy had no beginning and no end, began to echo from the fading light.

"…Do you…wish for…a new…life?"

A pause.

"I have seen you…you have…suffered."

Each word was long and slow. This one had time to spare. To be out of time was to never run out of it.

"Do you…want to…know what…life is?"

A pause.

"I…can grant you…life. True…life. Real…life."

A pause, longer than the rest.

"I…chose…you."

A presence wrapped around him. He could see no flesh, no blood, no skin or fur or anything else solid. But he knew that this voice, this One, was here. Right here.

"I…will give you…a…choice."

Choice?

"There…is a world…beyond yours. It is…in…chaos."

Chaos?

"Save…that world. Meet…your…guardian…she awaits…you."

Guardian?

"You know…her…deep down. But…do not…ask of her…"

Ask what?

"And I will…give you…new birth. New…life. Live…life…to the fullest… See it's…beauty. I…will do that. What…is your…decision?"

As in…leave Earth? Forever?

"Nothing…is forever…my love."

He knew what he would choose. It was the only thing he could choose. This One was the answer…the ultimate answer. It was an offer not made to many. But before he could tell the One his choice, he had to ask.

Why me?

"…You…know why…"

Then I will take…your offer.

A soft, gentle hand extended out to him. His mind blank, he felt his own hand take that soft, gentle hand.

He looked back once at the mirror. It was foggy and unclear. There were ten million different futures in it, and he could pick but one. He could hear the popping of the stove and the fizzles of the microwave.

Then Legion appeared and the hand fell away.

Legion's many eyes gazed upon him and their bodies circled around him in a dark, unified mass.

No.

He recoiled at the sight of them and searched for that hand. Yet it was nowhere to be found.

YOU. CANNOT. PASS.

Why not? Why can't I pass?

IT. IS. WHAT. IT. IS.

He could feel the tears slowly forming in the corners of his eyes at the frustration of being rejected. Rejected by this apparitions that were hardly real. They were ghosts. They were the ghosts that haunted his dreams.

JUST. BECAUSE. WE. CANNOT. APPEAR. AS. PHYSICAL. FLESH. AND. BLOOD. DOES. NOT. MEAN. WE. ARE. NOT. REAL.

Ghosts.

They were ghosts!

And then all collapsed around him, and he awoke once more.

"Joseph!"

He opened his eyes slowly and saw the worried face of his mother drifting above him. He struggled to get his lips to say something, but they refused to move.

"Joseph, I saw you passed out. Are you okay? Did something happen?"

"…Just…feel funny," he managed to finally say after a great deal of effort. He felt abnormally weak. Like something had sucked all the life out of him. "Tired."

"Can you walk? Do you need to go to the hospital? I can call 911 or I could drive you, or…"

"No…it's okay." Joe slowly sat up and stared at the foggy mirror. The image of Ruflorrin appeared, her eyes wide and sad. He needed to talk to her. She looked like she had something to say.

"Can you stand?"

Joe gripped the edge of his mom's bed's mattress and began to push himself upwards. His head swam and his body threatened to bring him crashing back down. His feet felt like blocks of lead. But he knew that he had to get his mom out of the room if he wanted to see Ruflorrin, the only person he wanted to see right now. He managed to stand and then sat on the edge of the bed. "I can stand, mom," he said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. "Just a bit tired."

But the world-weary exhaustion wasn't completely gone from his voice, and his mom still seemed concerned. Finally, she stepped back and said, "I understand." Her voice was quiet, subdued, and vulnerable. Then she left.

"That wasn't very tactful," came Ruflorrin's quiet voice.

"I didn't want her in the room anyways," Joe replied.

"How are you feeling?"

"I dunno. I feel weak. Like my body doesn't want to continue functioning. And my head…I can't…see right…"

Ruflorrin pressed her hands against the glass wall that separated them. It occurred to Joe that she wasn't listening to a word he was saying, but had something all her own to say.

"Joerfin…you are Joerfin," she murmured, her eyes staring past him.

Joe tentatively placed his hands right in front of hers, leaning closer to the glass. "Ruflorrin...will I ever see you...in person? For real? I only…I only want to see you…" His voice quivered as he asked, "Do you…do you even exist?"

So like a child, she thought, sadness welling up in her heart. So young, so broken.

"Ruflorrin! Why are you crying?" asked Joe.

"I cry for you," whispered Ruflorrin. She bowed her head, letting her hands drop. "So much has happened...so much. Yet there is no mercy shown. Nothing in this cruel world that you live in." She looked up again, her blue eyes shining fiercely. "Do you know what I would give for you to live a new life, a different life, where you were loved always, where there would be no suffering or grief? I would give anything."

"Ruflorrin, I-"

Ruflorrin lifted up her hand, signaling for him to remain silent. He obeyed. "Joerfin, I cannot linger here for much longer. I haven't been given infinite time to see you here. I am sorry. But I must go...Joerfin, I cannot come back. I am already stretching to the limits the laws of dimensions. If I break them, I will die. But...Joerfin?"

Joe had to curl his hands into fists to prevent himself from screaming at her, screaming at anything, out of the anger and deranged grief that now shot through his heart, breaking it in two. "I...am Joseph. And I don't understand. You said…you said you were my guardian…why can't you stay? Why can't you stay here?"

"Joerfin." Ruflorrin closed her beautiful blue eyes. "Promise me."

"Promise you what?" he asked, his voice surprisingly cold, like ice.

Ruflorrin shuddered upon hearing this. "Promise me that you...will live. And hope. I will see you again. There is a destiny for you that shall manifest itself soon. You..." She took in a deep breath and then continued, "You will come to a new world, a new life, Joerfin. Where you are...more." Then she smiled warmly. "Joerfin, when I see you again...give me a kiss."

Joe felt his head nod mechanically.

"Then...Joerfin...this is goodbye."

Ruflorrin faded from the mirror.

There was nothing left.

Since that night…

There is nothing left for me here.

In his mind's eye, he could see a crouched figure.

He longed to know who that stranger was.

Then he saw that the figure was crouching on the cliff's edge. Below, the waves of the inferno splashed upon the rocks, frothy fingers grappling for the figure's life.

Then the figure stood and behind him, he saw a pair of wings.

Then the wings fell away and the figure fell.

The fingers consumed him whole.

I…see…you.

He longed to run, far away. He longed to find a corner in this world, where nobody would ever find him. He longed to find a deep recess somewhere in this universe where he could let himself fall away, where no one would ever realize he had gone and where no one would ever notice his disappearance.

He knelt in front of the mirror, fists on the ground. His back was hunched and his hair fell over his eyes, which were closed. He did not look tormented anymore. Quite the opposite, in fact. He was tranquil now. No longer did the emotions within him clash in a titanic battle of wills. His whole mind and his whole body were of one soul and of one choice.

He had to go.

He clasped his hands together.

He felt his hair, his face.

He pressed his palms against his chest, his ribs, his abdomen.

He could feel the fabric of his clothing and he could feel the warmth of his skin.

He could feel the constant pulsing of his heart.

He could hear himself breathe.

He looked around.

And he could look and see.

He pressed his forefinger against his lips and could feel them.

He spoke and he could speak and talk.

He looked at his legs and moved them.

And he found that he could walk and walk towards a destination.

He laughed, and the sound was music to his hears.

He was here.

If only he could see him now.

Now…

It was…such a long time later…

Time…

It held no meaning for him now.

His every waking moment was spent desperately trying to keep his own sanity, to keep his mind. He spent so much time collapsed in upon himself. He could hear his mom's frantic cries. He could see her call number after number. He could see the white walls of the hospital and feel the softness of the bed.

He only wished that his mother stop, that she give up, and let him rest. Permanently rest.

It was the only semblance of peace he was asking for.

No one was giving it to him. Not the monsters that wore human skins in white coats, not those that questioned him of his state of mind only to receive no answer, and not his mother.

He didn't want to answer anyone's questions. He didn't want to have to open his eyes to another morning and stare at a needle in his hand and another stranger's face. The only face in his mind was Ruflorrin's…

And another face that he could not speak the name of.

In the end, it was his mother that decided it was time for a retreat, as she called it, to her sister's beach house. She decided that it would be the only way to bring him back.

Him, he thought.

You lost him so long ago.

I want to see you again.

I want you to see me.

I want you to know that I forgave you long ago.

I want you to know that I love you.

I want you to know that I miss you.

I want you to realize your purpose…

I want you to know that life is beautiful.

I want you to know that I am here for you.

I want you to know that I will never let go of you.

I want you…I want you to know…

That you are still here.

I haven't lost you.

I won't lose you.

The world may burn, but I will allow myself to burn before I let go of your hand.

He stood at the edge of one of the many sheer cliffs that overlooked the beach area, where frolicking tourists and guests played amongst the white sands and the blue waters.

Peaceful, it was.

He was thinking.

He was thinking about nothing.

Behind him was his mother, standing at the edge of the road. Her face was kept in shadow because of her large beach hat. But he knew her face.

She was resigned.

Resigned to his fate, and resigned to know that she would lose everything she had ever loved.

She realized now that he had never been here. From the moment her first love was ripped away from her, and them. They had never been here. With his death, they had died.

I am here.

He stood on the cliff, the wind blowing through his golden hair. The setting sun cast reflections of fiery clouds and violet skies in his brown eyes, old beyond his own years and weary.

Beneath him waves crashed into the rock, pulling it away, bit by bit, with their frothy fingers. Soon in a hundred thousand years these cliffs would disappear, defeated by the sheer persistence of the ocean and the wind working as one.

As all things eventually did.

There was nothing left for him here…nothing left that had any meaning. Part of him wanted to stay, to see if there was anything, but for the most part, he was doubtless.

There was nothing left. All was gone.

Every single one of the lives he had stolen now came back to him. He could recall every name, every face. He could recall their personalities and their smile, their eyes.

Lee…

He looked up. Lee, forgive. Please forgive.

His breaths were quickening. Was it perhaps the heat of the moment? Was it perhaps the realization of what he was about to do? Was he scared? Scared of the prospect of…dying? Death was but another door…the door that opened and led to another journey. Whatever followed after death could only ever be known by those that had passed on, but there was more after life. As life faded into death, so death faded into life…

"Joseph."

The clear voice of his mother, infused with another.

The call of Ruflorrin.

"Joseph."

There was no time left. No time to think, no time to decide, for indeed he had known, long ago, that he had left beyond the void. To live for except the next kill he could make, the next murder he could commit…it had been his shell, needing the life of others to fend for itself.

He balanced on the balls of his feet and then jumped.

He was falling…falling…he held out his arms and let himself fall, closing his eyes. From the distance he looked as if he was asleep and at peace, as if all of his inner turmoil had suddenly ceased.

You are enough. We are enough. You will always be enough. You are loved. You are unique. You are your own. You will always be someone. You are irreplaceable…

This was the deepest recess of this world, beyond which none of the living could travel. There was another world of the Beyond. A world that only the departed had access to. It was a world where he could dwell upon himself and find himself once more.

I am looking into a pool…

It is a world beyond which I cannot reach.

Yet I reach my hand…and I can feel him…

I have extended my hand.

Just take it…my friend…take it, and I will show you what it is like to live.

The voices of Legion resounded in his head.

He was standing on a street.

Everything was strangely exaggerated, from the play of the light on the trees to the glow of stranger that was standing in front of him.

Except that this was no stranger.

Lee.

Forgive…please forgive…

His voice was clear and radiant.

"I already have, my friend."

Why…am I here?

He said nothing. He merely held out his hand.

And Legion appeared, once more, and they began to speak.

WE. ARE. THE. ANCIENT. ONES.

He was not afraid this time. He was not afraid of those enigmatic apparitions that hovered before him and his friend. In the oddly lit neighborhood street, he was not afraid.

WE ARE CALLING YOU INTO A DIFFERENT WORLD. YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN

Chosen…for what?

WE CANNOT FATHOM THE WILL OF THE ONE BUT HE HAS CHOSEN YOU. EVIL HAS RUINED THIS OLD ORDER. HE HAS CHOSEN YOU TO GO.

TO GO INTO A NEW WORLD. IT IS A WORLD NOT UNLIKE YOURS. YET IT IS FRAUGHT WITH DANGER. THERE ARE VILLIANS THAT HAVE RUN AMOK, AND THE EVIL HAS GONE UNCHECKED. WHEN THIS ORDER HAS AT LAST BEEN FINISHED AND AT LAST ALL THE SINS OF THIS UNIVERSE WILL BE ATONED FOR, YOU WILL JOIN IN THE FORGING OF A NEW ORDER.

YOU WILL MEET THE CHILD OF THE SUN AND THE SHIFTER OF THE MOON. THEY CANNOT DO IT ALONE. YOU WILL JOIN THEM.

IF YOU CANNOT DEFEAT THE EVIL THAT LIES WITHIN, YOU WILL FAIL AND THERE WILL BE NO SECOND CHANCE FOR THE INNOCENT LIVES THAT STILL LIVE. THEY WILL CONTROL THE NEW ORDER AND PLUNGE IT INTO AN ORDER OF NIGHTMARES.

ALREADY THE ONE IS BEGINNING TO MOVE. WE, TOO, PREPARE TO COMBINE OUR FORCES AND AWAIT THE DAY WHEN WE CAN UNLEASH OUR FULL WRATH UPON THE DARK DEMONS THAT HAVE DESTROYED AND LAID WASTE TO THE PRECIOUS CREATION THAT IS LIFE.

Then he moved his lips and found he could speak to Legion.

"Why…us?"

PERHAPS IT IS BECAUSE THE ONE SEES SOMETHING WITHIN YOU THAT NOT MANY DO.

A divine smile graced Lee's face. His eyes sparkled.

THE ONE SEES YOU. THE ONE SEES YOUR SUFFERING. THE ONE OFFERS YOU A CHANCE…A CHANCE TO LIVE. TO FEEL LOVED AND TO LOVE. WILL YOU TAKE THIS CHANCE THAT THE ONE HAS GIVEN YOU? OR WILL YOU REJECT IT AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO FALL AWAY INTO THE VOID OF THE BEYOND?

IT IS THE CHOICE THAT YOU MUST MAKE. YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN AND NOW IT IS TIME TO MAKE YOUR OWN CHOICE OF YOUR OWN PATH. NO MATTER WHAT, THOUGH, THE ONE LOVES YOU AND HOPES FOR YOU A NEW AND BETTER LIFE SOMEDAY, NO MATTER WHAT MANIFESTATION YOU TAKE IN YOUR NEW INCARNATION.

He contemplated Legion's words.

YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN. JOSEPH, THOUGH YOU FEEL NO EMOTION YOURSELF, YOU ARE SO SENSITIVE TO THE FEELINGS OF OTHERS. IT MANIFESTS ITSELF IN YOUR SIGHT. YOU CAN SEE. YOU CAN SEE INTO OTHERS, SEE THROUGH THEIR EYES. YOU CAN SEE FAR, SEE LIKE AN EAGLE. PERHAPS YOU CAN SEE, TOO, INTO THE FUTURE, INTO THE PAST.

NO MATTER WHAT, YOU ARE NEVER ALONE.

He knew that there was only one choice for him to make.

"I will go, Legion," he said softly.

Beside him, Lee nodded as well, never speaking.

LINK HANDS AND STEP INTO THE PORTAL.

So they did. A strange thrill gripped Joe's heart. A new world…a world beyond theirs…a world…of life.

A child of the sun. A shifter of the moon.

Perhaps there…

Perhaps there, he could see Ruflorrin again.

He could not forget his promise to her.

They stepped forward.

Are you ready, Joseph?

Even if you aren't…I am here…to make sure that you are.

For those of you who are horribly confused, read below. For those who wish to work this chapter out on their own, feel free to not read below.

There are two voices in this chapter.