I Fear Love

I looked on in mild interest as Gibbs and Pintel dragged Cotton down to his cabin. For the past three days pretty much anyone one the Pearl had to be detain from jumping in the sea, to their death. Hallucination Sea a dangerous sea, Cotton was the latest one. His hallucination was his childhood home, a farm where he had grown up, or at least that's what his parrot said. It was night out and I had just come up to do my night shift. I was leaning against the railing when Jack walked up to me.

"Hello love, you will be ok watching the ship right? Do you want someone to stay with you?" I smirked at Jack before replying.

"No Jack I'll be fine on my own, besides I have something none of you have." I said as I turned back to the ocean. Jack raised an eyebrow and said.

"Oh and what is that?" I put a finger to my head and tapped it a couple of times.

"Mind over matter." I said as Jack rolled his eyes.

"Whatever you say darling, but if I come up tomorrow and you're not here because you're dead I will not feel sorry for you." I glared at Jack as he walked off. Soon the deck was deserted and I sat on the railing overlooking the ocean, it was pretty, in an odd way. It was very blue, wherever we were you could always see the bottom. And even odder was there was no fish, at all. Now with a moon in the sky, even though it seemed brighter then the moon I was use to. It made the ocean glimmer in its light.

"Beautiful night isn't it?" I looked up sharply to see Will sitting right next to me. I looked around the deck, how had he got here without me hearing him?

"Will what are you doing here?" I asked as I looked over at the Dutchman's deck to see it vacant.

"To see you of course." He said smiling brightly at me. I raised one of my eyebrows but just shrugged it off.

"Well you should be sleeping." I said as I turned back to the ocean, him being here was…unnerving.

"I was trying to but I had a dream that is haunting me." I looked up curiously at him and motioned for him to continue.

"What about?" I asked when he didn't take my hint.

"About you, in a very compromising position." I felt my face heat up till I was sure my face was as red as a tomato. He smiled at me reaction and laughed.

"Aw you're cute when you're embarrassed." He said as he reached a hand to my face and tucked back a strand of hair that had fallen into my face. He kept his hand on my cheek caressing my cheek.

"Why are you acting like this?" I whispered this was so unlike Will. He only smiled before sliding his arms around my waist and pulling me to him, I gasped in surprise as we were sitting really close together. My hands were on his chest as his held tightly around my waist. My breaths became shallow as I realized how close we were two each other.

"Love makes people act strange." And before I could respond he brought his lips down on me I gasped in surprise but it was muffled by his lips. His hands roamed my lower body, and they even went under my shirt to touch my stomach. His tongue demanded entrance into my mouth as I gave it to him; it was a passionate kiss, a kiss I had never experienced with Will before. He could be passionate, I had seen it before, but his passion was gentler then him roaming all over me like an animal. I pulled away as I felt I was going to pass out due to lack of air. I waited for my breaths to become less shallow before I said.

"What was the stone you made my necklace out of?" I said as I started intently into his brown eyes. He gave a confused look and said.

"Necklace?"

"Yes that necklace you made for me, what was the stone made of?" I said my voice becoming quieter.

"Uh limestone?" I shook my head no and smiled sadly at him.

'Turquoise, you're not Will." I said as I pulled away from him.

"Of course I'm Will, who else could I possibly be?"

"You're my hallucination; Will would never act that way, at least not without giving me some warning." I said as I turned back to the ocean, I closed my eyes for several minutes and when I opened them and looked back at the spot where the hallucination had been sitting to find it empty. I sighed and thought about that kiss, it had been good, more then good, it had been great. But I couldn't help but feel sadden at the fact that it wasn't actually Will, but a figure of my imagination. How badly did I want to finger my turquoise necklace but knowing it wasn't there, I settled on Odette's rope bracelet. Sadly it wasn't the same, how I missed that necklace and everything it had represent. I stayed in the same position for the rest of my shift, close to dawn Ragetti came and relieved me of my duties. I walked wearily to my cabin and I walked in quietly, because I thought Anamaria would be sleeping. So to my surprise when I turned around I saw Anamaria laying in her hammock petting Star while looking up at me.

"What are you doing up?" I asked as I collapsed down onto my hammock, fluffing my pillow to a comfy position.

"Couldn't sleep, how was your shift?" I thought about my answer before saying.

"It was…interesting." I said slowly as she raised one of her eyebrows.

"Interesting how?"

"I made out with a hallucination." I said bluntly as her eyes got big and I saw her bite down on her tongue.

"You might as well just laugh." I said and true to my word she burst out laughing. She laughed for a good five minutes and once she was done tears were streaming down her face. She took one look at me and started laughing again as I just rolled my eyes frustrated.

"I'm sorry, but a hallucination?" I nodded my face feeling warm.

"Who?" I looked at her giving her a look that meant do you really have to ask? She nodded in understanding and said.

"Will huh?" I nodded as I put my pillow on top of me head. I was praying that I could die right there and then, hell had to be better then this.

"Was it good?" Hell has to be way better then this. I raised the pillow over my head and looked over at her as if she was mad.

"What do you think?" I snapped. She just rolled her eyes.

"Well I've never kissed Will, so I don't know what's it like."

"It was good, really good, but it wasn't the real Will." I said as I looked at her.

"Is that how you could tell?" I nodded.

"The hallucination was kissing me hard with passion, as if he hadn't kissed anyone in a hundred years. Will's kisses are softer with just the same passion but gentler, his kisses are filled with love and the leave you warm and feeling safe after he kisses you." I said smiling thinking about all the times we had kissed on the Dutchman, my favorite having been after I had woken up from almost drowning from the Kraken. Anamaria smiled at me and said in a teasing voice.

"Oh someone's in love with the captain." I glared at her before chucking my pillow at her hitting her right in the face. I laughed as she fell out of the hammock. She got up and glared at me before chucking the pillow back and sitting on her hammock glaring at me, while I smiled innocently back.

"I do not love Will." I said after several moments of silence. Anamaria snorted and I turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Saying you don't love Will is like saying Jack can live without rum." I rolled my eyes.

"I mean besides that, he was your hallucination he's the thing you want most."

"Doesn't mean I love him." I said quietly.

"You do love him, you're just scared." I looked sharply at her.

"I am Emily James; I'm not scared of anything." I spat angrily at her.

"Except love, you're afraid Will won't return your feelings. If you weren't scared then you wouldn't have killed yourself." Silence came as I thought over her words, they had stung, but they were true. I sighed, when had my life become this complicated. It's only well that I haven't gone crazy.

"Emily, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it the way it came out." I shook my head no.

"No you're right, I am scared. I am scared that Will doesn't love me, when I killed myself I told myself it was for good reasons. Will would be with his wife and he wouldn't be cheating. I told myself that was why I did it. But I knew the real reason; it was because I was scared that I wasn't good enough for him. And I'm not good enough for him, he deserves someone who can love him and I don't know if I can. I try so hard but it never works, and the sad thing is I know I could love him, if I just tried hard enough, but I'm scared." Tears were streaming down my face as I finished talking. And wordlessly Anamaria stood up and came over and hugged me, as I held on tightly to her. Sobbing until the tears stopped, and the crying subsided. She pulled away from me and said.

"Emily don't ever say you're not good enough, you are. Everyone knows that, Will knows that. You just need to know it." I nodded my head and I whispered.

"We need to get ready for the day." She nodded and released me as I climbed out of the hammock and we set about getting ready for the day. I put on black pants with a red shirt and a black vest. I put my hair up in a ponytail and I put my sword hilt on.

"We better reach that island soon." I said as we walked up to the deck. Anamaria nodded her head. And we set about doing the morning activities. Once they were done I walked over to Jack and sat down next to him.

"Hello darling." He said as he offered me some rum, which I gladly took.

"How far are we away from inmortalidad?" I asked as I handed the bottle back to him as he took a swig.

"Hopefully we will reach it by tonight, and then tomorrow we will get our immortality." I nodded me approval.

"Even though there is something I have to tell you love." I groaned but nonetheless listened to him.

"Remember us getting attacked by that pirate ship, the day you were resurrected?" I nodded my head.

"Remember how I borrowed their maps."

"You mean steal?" I asked.

"Borrowed love borrowed."

"With no intention of returning them." He looked at me odd.

"Where have I heard that before?"

"Will said it." He nodded remembering and smiled.

"Yes the whelp now back to the topic at hand, well I fear they too are heading inmortalidad as well, seeking our treasure."

"What are you saying Jack?" I asked taking his rum and taking a swig from it, fearing the answer.

"I'm just saying we might have company."

"But we didn't see them on our way here."

"That's not the only way into world's end." I groaned.

"You are unbelievable." I said after several minutes of silence. Jack smiled at me and wrapped one of his arms around my shoulders.

"Glad you think so love."

"That wasn't a compliment."

"Well to me it was, and that's all that matters." I just looked at him weirdly; I don't even want to know what goes on in his head.

"Ok let's move on to another subject, how was your shift last night?"

"I made out with a hallucination." I said not looking at him, might as well tell him before Anamaria did. I saw him raise an eyebrow from the corner of my eye. He was about to say something when I interrupted.

"Don't say a word." He nodded and patted me on the back and handed me the rum as I took it and drank the remaining of it. After I finished it I went back to working with the crew, the rest of the day went by slowly, not much happened. Men saw hallucinations and they wanted it so they tried jumping off the ship and we had to stop them. It was rather dull. Around sunset I was sitting on a crate listening to Ragetti and Pintel argue over God's know what when someone shouted.

"Land ho." I looked up in interest and ran to the railing as did the rest of the crew. Jack barged to the front and upon seeing the island he smiled and shouted.

"Inmortalidad, there she is men." And upon seeing Anamaria and I glaring at him he said.

"And ladies, get us as close as you can and we will go to it tomorrow." There was a murmur of disappointment as someone asked.

"Why can't we go tonight?" Someone I didn't know ask and Jack turned toward him and said.

"Because night is coming lad, we will have all the time tomorrow to get it. Now everyone get a good night of sleep." With that Jack retreated to his cabin. I yawned suddenly feeling tired from lack of sleep. Anamaria and I walked off to our cabin and changed into nightgowns, as we settled into our hammocks Anamaria asked.

"What do you think immortality is like?" I shrugged and said.

"I don't know, but we'll figure it out tomorrow." And with that sleep claimed me, and with it an odd dream.

(Please R and R! I do not own Pirates.)