12-22-14

*Staggers in at 11:52pm* Just made it!

Thanks SO much to everyone who followed/favorited/reviewed! Even if I am a bad updated ;P More of Alfred's virtual cookies for you! ( : : )

Here are the 1D songs in the order they appeared in yesterday's chapter: "What Makes You Beautiful," "Live While We're Young," "One Thing," "Story Of My Life," "Kiss You," and "Best Song Ever"! Congrats to PrettyKitty Luvs U and GUEST for getting them all right, and crashthemode (love the name!) for getting four out of six! :)

Also, pairings are not official, but I will be honest in saying I'm not a Chalant fan. I prefer Dick and Barbara, or Dick by himself :)

Enjoy! (Sorry if the format is weird. Fanfiction docs are being screwy.)

On the ninth day of Christmas
My boyfriend gave to me...

—O—

Gotham City
December 22, 09:00

This time Artemis awoke to an unfamiliar ringing sound. She scowled, keeping her eyes stubbornly shut. She'd hidden that stupid alarm clock underneath all of her unmentionables in her sock drawer. There was no way Wally had found it and set the stupid thing up again.

She waited for it to stop, but the ringing persisted. It sounded an awful lot like...her phone?

She reluctantly cracked one eye open, squinting at the ringing device on the table.

Groaning, she reached out and punched buttons until it finally stopped. Groggily, she checked the time: 9am. Well, at least it wasn't too early this time.

A fizzing sound that she hadn't noticed before suddenly became clear in the silence. She propped herself up on an elbow, craning her neck to see over the fishbowl. Planted on a coaster on the other side was a glass of...Sprite? Nine sweetheart candies were floating around inside, twirling in the carbonated bubbles like they were performing a ballet.

To my beloved Artemis: Nine sweethearts dancing.

Wally must really be getting desperate if he came up with something as stupid as that.

But she had to admit, it did look kinda cool...

Swinging her feet out of bed, she stretched her toes, expecting to hit the floor. However, her foot came in contact with something plastic instead of the familiar flat panels. Whatever she'd kicked toppled to the ground, bouncing hollowly on the wooden floor before stuttering to a stop.

Retracting her feet, she peered over the edge of the bed.

Eight milk cartons were strung out around her bed, forming a plastic perimeter. Thankfully, they appeared empty as the one she had knocked over hadn't formed a white or otherwise puddle on the ground.

To my beloved Artemis: Eight cartons (not) milking.

Empty milk cartons? Great idea, Wally.

The other glass on her bedside table, however, was not empty. Goldfish crackers bobbed gently on the surface of the water, soggy smiles never faltering.

To my beloved Artemis: Seven fish a-floating.

And that's when her phone started to ring again. She absentmindedly realized that it had no right to be ringing. As a rule, she kept her phone on vibrate. There were just too many situations that could come up where a ringing phone would guarantee her death—during missions, that is. And she never ever set alarms, morning or otherwise.

And apparently this ringtone had words.

Deck the cave with sprigs of holly
Troll la la la la la la la la
Tis the season, don't be naughty
Troll la la la la la la la la

Don we now spandex apparel
Troll la la la la la la la la
Bug Artemis with your carols
Troll la la la la la la la la

She rolled her eyes. Robin got that right. What a perfect song for the little troll. The chords changed and another popular Christmas tune started up in the other's place.

Up on the rooftops the villains pause
"Dang, that devil archer spawn!"
Over the chimneys with lots of noise
Stealing the little ones' Christmas toys

"You had better be talking about the villains, Wally," Artemis growled. Then the song changed again:

Racing through Star City
In an open Arrow car
Through the stores and streets
Tearing through the bars

"Whatever sick joke this is, it's not funny!" Artemis yelled.

Hark, hear the yells
Harsh, calling yells
Now echoing
Warnings they bring
Be on alert
People get hurt
All is not well
Sing we, "Oh well!"

How did Wally...? Whatever, that was a weird one.

We four boys of old partner lore
Bearing training, seen lots of gore
Gotham, Central, Star, and ocean
Ready for what's in store

Okay, how did Wally pull Robin, Aqualad, and Red Arrow into this? They didn't make a bad quartet... But whatever Wally was doing for them in exchange...well, Artemis wanted all the juicy details.

Ominous night
Dark Gotham night
All's not calm
Life's a fight
Round our vigil, patrolling in style
Holey socks smell not tender or mild
Parkour all through the night
Parkour all through the night

...Well, that one was actually accurate.

As the phone finally fell silent, a text lit up the screen: To my beloved Artemis: Six songs a-playing.

And that meant...

Artemis rolled out of bed, carefully stepping over the milk cartons surrounding the bed frame.

Trotting to the closet, she had to admit that she was curious as to what Wally was going to do now that all her arrows were gone. Would he actually dare...?

Upon opening the closet, she had her answer: five of Ollie's arrows—painted gold, of course—were tied in a bundle beside her full quiver.

To my beloved Artemis: Five golden arrows.

She wondered how long it would take her mentor to realize he was missing several arrows. Maybe a month, maybe tomorrow, maybe never. She could never tell with Ollie.

The screen of her phone lit up. Here we go...

CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS TIME IS NEAR. TIME FOR TOYS AND TIME FOR CHEER. WE'VE BEEN GOOD, BUT WE CAN'T LAST. HURRY, CHRISTMAS, HURRY FAST... - RJG

Artemis snorted. Sure, if Richard Grayson was a total angel this year, she was Cupid. And what was with him and the caps lock?

Want a plane that loops the loop... - Barbara

"What?" Artemis muttered.

Em, I tnaw a aluh pooh... - Zatanna

Oh dear.

We can hardly stand the wait, please, Christmas, don't be late. (Dick's idea.) - Bette Kane

Great. Now her classmates had built up a conspiracy against her. She really shouldn't have been surprised that it was Dick's idea. Scratch that: she shouldn't have been surprised that it was Robin's idea. Apparently, that boy had a case against her in both identities...

To my beloved Artemis: Four texting friends. - Anonymous W

Wow. Six out of nine presents found and she hadn't even stepped out of her room yet. She glanced up; cue face palm. Make that seven out of nine presents.

Three baguettes dangled from a ribbon from the doorframe of her bedroom.

To my beloved Artemis: Three French baguettes.

She was really starting to hate bread. Sighing, she reached up and pulled the bread down from the ceiling, tucking it under one arm as she made her way toward the kitchen.

A murmur sounded through the silent house, and Artemis froze: voices were coming from the living room. Taking a few careful steps forward, she strained her ears to hear what was being said:

"Ugh, stop shoving!" came a quiet voice around the corner.

"Sorry," another hissed back. "This isn't exactly comfortable for me either, you know."

The first one grunted in return. "I'm untying as fast as I can."

"Well, can't you go a little faster?"

"I'm trying! Do you realize how hard this is with my arms mummified?"

"I don't care! Get us out of here!"

"Okay, okay. I've almost got it. Stop wiggling!"

Artemis blinked. She knew those voices. She poked her head around the corner. What she saw was a sight she wouldn't soon forget.

Sitting on the floor of the living room were two certain classmates of hers: Richard Grayson and Barbara Gordon. A long green ribbon had been wrapped repeatedly around their upper bodies, securing them firmly back-to-back as Dick's nimble fingers fumbled with the giant bow. Said bow had been supplemented by several layers of knots, which explained why the Boy Wonder hadn't picked his way out already.

To my beloved Artemis: Two lover birds.

Deciding it was time to make her appearance known, Artemis stepped around the corner. "Dick? Barbara? What are you doing here?"

The two teens jumped guiltily, cheeks turning beet red as they jerked their heads in her direction.

"Um...hi, Artemis," Barbara laughed nervously. "What's up?"

Artemis raised an eyebrow. "Baguettes, apparently. Why?"

Barbara blinked. "Okay. Uh, no reason."

"Hey, Artemis," Dick grumbled. "Mind telling your boyfriend to quit pairing me up with people?"

Artemis smirked. "You tell him to stop sending French bread."

Dick groaned. "At least help us out of this stuff."

"Please," Barbara added.

Artemis considered the question. "Maybe. Gotta see something first."

Ignoring their protests, she sauntered out of the room just as the doorbell rang.

Artemis rolled her eyes, continuing down the hallway—she'd been going for the door anyway. Upon opening it, a potted tree stood just outside. Only instead of green pears (or pear cores) dangling from the branches, there were fuzzy, orange and pink balls. Otherwise known as: peaches. And instead of a red and black clad teenager, there was a stuffed, red-breasted robin toy.

To my beloved Artemis: A robin in a peach tree.

Grinning, she slipped back into the living room. "I see you escaped tree duty today, Bird Boy."

Grayson glared at her. "Oh, shut up."

—O—

...Nine sweethearts dancing
Eight cartons milking
Seven fish a swimming
Six songs a-playing
Five golden arrows
Four texting friends
Three French baguettes
Two lover birds
And a robin in a peach tree

So what did you think? Let me know in a review! They'll feed the awfully lazy plot bunny who still has to write the next chapter... I know, I suck.

And don't forget to try and guess all those Christmas songs! Extra cookies for those that do!

See y'all tomorrow!