Story: When Everything Changed

Summary: Something inside begins to protest her actions causing Bellatrix to question herself and those around her. How will her world as she knows it be affected? BL/HG

Rated: M

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns everything. I am merely borrowing the characters to play my own little game with them.

A/N 1: Italics are a flashback. Also ** before a new paragraph after a break indicates a scene change. While xx means skipping further into that scene. I just wanted to clarify. Please let me know if these symbols aren't showing up.

A/N 2: Though I have edited this more than once I am sure there are still mistakes. This is unbetaed and all mistakes are mine.

A/N 3: Not the original. Revised and Reposted.
_

Hermione's POV

Even though she is not here I can sense her eyes on me. I can picture her guilty expression and the pleading look in her dark brown pools before Bellatrix surrendered and was dragged off to Azkaban. Those eyes haunt me without remorse.

Her presence will not leave me alone. No matter what I do she is here; a weight on my shoulders. When I attempt to rid myself of her, Bellatrix's essence closes further in on me. Causing the world turn to black and white and leaving me suspended in a cold and lonely world.

How can I long for something so torturous? I ask myself this with the answer already resting silently on my lips. I have seen the other side of Bellatrix. The side that is so beautiful and full of life that it is impossible to imagine that the same person could ever be so ruthless. I felt something when our lips touched an intense and unidentifiable emotion. Whatever it was it left me desiring more. Not only do I want Bellatrix: I need her.

Fear is constantly gnawing at me. It has been a week since the scene on the front lawn. I have no clue how Bellatrix is fairing in Azkaban. She is strong. Stronger than almost anyone I've ever known, but the sight of her tears linger in my memory and I can still feel the weight of her, vulnerable and needy, resting delicately in my arms.

I understand why Harry turned Bellatrix in, and I get that he is angry, but I wish he would have calmed down enough to see how his actions would affect everyone else. He has always been a hot head, and now Andromeda, Tonks, and I are being investigated for hosting a serial killer. Now Tonks is suspended until further notice and we are under constant surveillance every time we step outside. Everyone is on edge

The worst part is after all that has happened I cannot bring myself to come close to hating Bellatrix for all the trouble she has caused. If anything I want to find a way to help her. However I have to wait for the investigation to be over. If they discover anything that indicates I had any contact with Bellatrix I will be lucky if I am not locked up in Azkaban with her.

Besides I could risk a job at the Ministry, assuming that we are cleared, and that could open a lot of doors for me. I want to work in the auror department for a few years to continue to hone my skills, and possibly take the N.E.W.T.S. before I decide to switch departments to something better suited to my interests. As well as all information on Azkaban I will have access to.

I wish I knew what Bellatrix was thinking when she turned herself in. She couldn't honestly have believed that anything other than Azkaban or death would result from that. It is a miracle that they haven't left her to a dementor, or executed her by now. There are plenty of people that would love to see that happen.

The only way that Bellatrix could truly be free to live is in the Muggle world, but I know that she could never sever her ties with the wizarding world.

There is a knock on the door. "Come in." Tonks' nervous face appears in the space provided by her opening the door partially.

"The letter from the Ministry's here." She disappears before I can reply.

Standing on unsteady legs I run my eyes across the details of the room. Bella's room. I still find myself hoping that Bellatrix will somehow reappear and everything will have gone back to normal. I keep that hope hidden where the darkness cannot lay a deadly finger on it. Maybe one day I will wake up and this will all only have been a bad dream.

I look back once more before I leave the room: Bellatrix's sent lingers in every fiber and floats in every inch of that room. It as if she hovers just above me, but moves out of my reach whenever I try to touch her.

When I reach the kitchen Tonks and Dromeda are waiting for me. Tonks is pale and pacing, while Dromeda's eyes are distant. I clear my throat to announce my entrance. Dromeda snaps out of her trance. Traces of tears remain in her eyes and I have the suspicion her mind is on the same place mine is: Bellatrix. Her warm eyes wander to the counter where the official letter is sitting. Shortly after Tonks eyes gravitate to the same spot.

Dromeda reaches outs and takes the letter with a shaky hand. This is it. This letter could make us outcasts in the wizarding world or keep us safely within its boundaries. Personally I don't believe that Shacklebolt would ever allow anything as horrible as outright rejection from this world. He is too kind for that. Yet you never know.

Dromeda breaks the seal which has a distinct sound. One that will remain imprinted in my mind for eternity.

Her eyes scan the parchment. When she looks up our eyes lock and in barely more than a whisper she says, "We're clear." A relieved smile makes its way onto my face. The color begins to seep back into Dromeda's features. Tonks stops pacing and sinks into a chair at the kitchen table. I focus on her; her eyes are changing colors rapidly before stopping on electric blue.

"We're clear," she repeats as if saying to again will make the decision final. "We're clear…"

"Hermione dear, there's a separate letter for, and one for you too Tonks." I take the parchment from Dromeda and skim it. I can sense their eyes on me.

I glance up at them and say, "They want me to go in and test for the auror position."

"That's wonderful," Dromeda informs me.

"Yeah," I mumble as I retreat back upstairs. I can hear their low voices behind me. Their words are filled with concern. They are words that cannot faze me or even touch me.

The Ministry has resources for the basis of my research, but I cannot wait an extra week plus however long it will take for them to decide if they want to hire me. I can't leave Bellatrix rotting in Azkaban. Who knows what will happen in that time. I might be too late. I have to start planning now.

Rushing around Bellatrix's room I search for parchment, a quill, and a bottle of ink. Quickly I scrawl, I need to talk to you soon-Hermione, and fold the paper. Running out of the room I yell, "Tonks, do you know where Merlin is?" Merlin is the owl I recently purchased for the house.

"He's out delivering a letter why?"

"Shit," I hiss. "Nevermind." I go back into Bella's room and grab my wand and jacket before going downstairs. "I'm going out," I announce.

"Okay, where are you goi…" I shut the front door drowning out Tonks' voice. Speed walking down the road for a few minutes I finally reach the point where it is okay for me to apparate. Turning on the spot I feel the familiar squeeze of the darkness as it engulfs me.

**
The world around me reappears providing relief from the pressing darkness. I find myself on the outskirts of Hogsmeade. The sun is shining brightly in the sky and Hogwarts is clearly visible in the distance.

I walk briskly to the Post Office and select the owl I want. I have always found it clever how the owls are color coded by speed. This is especially helpful today when my mind is reeling with thoughts. Attaching the letter to the owl's leg I tell it, "Take this to Minerva McGonagall. It's important. I don't care if she is in the middle of class or whatever else she could be doing make sure she opens it immediately. Don't leave without a reply." The owl hoots in understanding and then abandons its perch. I pay and then leave the building.

Now that my task is done I begin to fidget. Familiar nerves start to work in my stomach. I need a distraction. Everything has become too much for me, Bellatrix, life, emotions, Bellatrix… Why couldn't things be easier? The problem is I would never give up what has happened between Bella and I, no matter how much more calm my life would become. She is complicated yes, and being around her has made my life more complicated, true, but I can't shake the feeling that it will all be worth it in the end.

Walking along the streets of Hogsmeade I glance at shop windows. None particularly catch my eye. I decide that doing the necessary shopping will be a nice distraction while I wait impatiently for a reply.

I load up on parchment, quills, and ink. Along with various things that are needed around the house. I buy a few treats for Merlin in Animal Needs. As I reach the edge of town my eyes wander to a small bookstore that I have been in once before.

As I open the door a bell tinkles announcing my arrival. The shop is dimly lit is smells like a mixture of new and old books along with a hint of vanilla. Closing my eyes briefly, I savor the unique scent and store it in my memory. A kind looking witch appears from behind a purple, velvet curtain in the back of the store. "Can I help you m' dear."

"No thanks, I'm just browsing." I smile at her.

"Okay. Let me know if you need anything. I'm Karen."

I nod, "Hermione."

I wait until she has disappeared behind the curtain before starting to skim the shelves. Various volumes jump out at me, but nothing that I am specifically looking for; books about Azkaban.

Finally I find something that sounds like exactly what I was looking for. Freed from Azkaban: Famous Cases and Reasons for the Occupants' Emancipations. It is thinner than I would have wished for. This lowers my spirits, but I proceed to the counter with the book with a small amount of hope. I clear my throat, "Karen?"

"Yes?" She responds in a sing-song voice.

"I think I'm ready to pay." She appears almost instantly.

Taking the book she glances at the title and then jots something down on a piece of parchment. "Fascinating read if I do say so myself. If you are interested in Azkaban, my dear, there is a great piece of literature on the history of Azkaban. Published last year so it is up to date. Defiantly worth reading."

I contemplate her offer for a moment. "Sure why not."

"I'll grab that for you, Hermione." She glides over to a nearby shelf and runs a finger over the book bindings. Karen lets out a quiet "ah-ha," and pulls a large volume off the shelf. She walks back around the counter and again jots something down on the parchment at her side. "Hermione, that's an uncommon name."

"Yeah I guess so." Her eyes haven't left me since she came around the counter.

"You know when you walked in I thought you looked familiar."

"Um, you did?" She is making me uncomfortable.

"You wouldn't happen to be Hermione Granger would you? The young woman who helped Harry Potter defeat You-Know-Who?"

"Yeah I am," I am shocked that anyone would know my name. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you know that?"

"The Daily Prophet, and of course there's already a book out on The Trio, Defeaters of the Dark Lord. Authors were rushing to be the first ones to publish the story. I have it in the back if you want to take a look at it."

"Oh. No thank you. Maybe next time," Where have I been and why didn't I know this? I hand her the proper number of coins and leave the shop in a hurry.

When the fresh air hits my face I am overcome by an overwhelming sense of relief. I've always hated being in the spotlight and being friends with someone famous, thankfully, deflected most of the attention I might have received.

A soft hoot sounds behind me. Turning I find the owl I sent to Minerva. Quickly I untie the response and open the fresh bag of owl treats I bought, giving one to the owl in front of me. Taking the treat the owl hoots gratefully and flies away.

Unfolding the scrap of paper, I see neatly written under my initial message, The Three Broomsticks. 10 o'clock tonight. I find the weight pressing on my chest slightly deteriorating as I re-read the note. Now all I have to do is find something to preoccupy my thoughts until ten tonight. Something that isn't Bellatrix.

xx
The Three Broomsticks looks different at night. It is packed with a variety of people. Defiantly a change from the student crowded pub I am used to. The circumstances are different I suppose. I am legally considered and adult therefore I am allowed privileges I have yet to become accustom to.

"Can I get you somethin' love?" The cheery bartender Rosmerta asks.

"Fire whiskey please." I smile shyly at her. Recently I have become aware of all the women around me. I still will only ever want to be with Bellatrix, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the female form now that I am beginning to come to terms with myself. My biggest fear is that I will turn into Ron around women: a blabbering idiot.

"Be right back with that deary." She winks at me and I am grateful that she has turned around because I can feel my whole body flush with heat. Shaking my head I attempt to rid myself of the sensation. It has been a while since I have felt like this, and ever since Bellatrix ignited something within me with that kiss I have had the sporadic need for human contact.

Madam Rosmerta returns with my drink. "Thanks," I mumble.

"No problem just flag me down if you need more hun." She send me a knowing smile and then briefly rests her hand on my shoulder. With the simple contact it as if my skin has burst into flames. When she leaves I pray to God she didn't notice anything. Images of Bellatrix swim lazily through my mind and become more persistent with each sip of my drink. Soon the images are accompanied by a dull throb between my legs. I groan; could this have happened at any more of an inconvenient time?

After a few minutes the chair beside me scrapes back on the wooden floor and Professor McGonagall takes a seat next to me. "Hello Hermione."

"Minerva," I nod respectfully at her and then scan the room; effectively catching Rosmerta's eye. She smiles signaling her understanding and holds up an index finger.

I turn my attention back to Minerva. I don't even have to glance at her to sense the worry radiating from her. "How have you been?" I ask.

"Busy. I was getting some well needed rest during my break today when an owl flew through the window and proceeded to hoot and peck at me until I gave it attention. You wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?" There is a small smirk playing on her lips.

I smile guiltily, "Sorry." I note that her right hand is covered in beak marks. "I…"

She holds up a hand to silence me, "It's quite alright Hermione. I assumed that it was something urgent or you would not have sent such a persistent owl."

"I really am sorry, Minerva. Let me heal it."

"That's not necessary." Ignoring her response I take her hand a pull out my wand. Silently I cast the appropriate spells over her hand.

She smiles at me and squeezes my hand. When she tries to pull away I tighten my grip. When our eyes lock I attempt to express my apology once more.

"You have already been forgiven dear."

"Minerva, how nice to see you!" Rosmerta has reappeared at our table and I quickly let go of Minerva's hand. She has moved her eyes to the attractive blonde.

"As it is to see you, Rosmerta."

"How's business at Hogwarts?"

"Everything is running smoothly, well as smoothly as it can with a castle full of children plus a poltergeist. I can see business is going fairly well for you as usual." Her eyes flicker around the room with her previous statement.

"I'm defiantly not complaining. What can I get you love?"

"Single malt scotch on the rocks."

"And you dear?" I glance down at my mug and am surprised to find it empty.

"It's Hermione." Her smile starts to awaken the hormones I just barely managed to suppress.

"As if I wouldn't know that," Rosemerta scoffs light heartedly, "You're Hermione Granger." Again I find myself at a loss as to why people know who I am. "I brag to anyone that will listen about how I knew the Golden Trio before they were famous."

"I'm not famous." I notice Minerva smirk at my comment. "I'll have what Minerva is having." Out of the corner of my eye I catch the surprised look and raised eyebrow thrown my way.

I shrug at Minerva and look down at the table. "I'll be right back with those," Rosmerta informs us.

"How are you holding up?" Minerva rests a slender hand on my arm.

"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" I attempt to smile at her and fail miserably. She is wearing an expression that clearly states, 'don't play games with me I know you're not fine.' "I'm worried about her. I don't think she is as strong as she pretends to be."

"She has always been that way. I'm not sure why exactly she feels she must be so strong," Minerva glances around before lowering her voice, "but it will be Bella's downfall, as we can already see, unless she chooses to let someone in."

"She let you in."

"Years ago." A thick silence descends upon us as our individual thoughts battle for our attention. Rosmerta returns and sets our drinks in front of us.

I take a sip of the bitter liquid and decide to get straight to the point. "I was hoping I could use Hogwarts' library."

Minerva sets her drink down and studies me. "Of course. What for?"

"I need somewhere where I will be undisturbed as I do research."

"On what?"

"Azkaban." She looks at me knowingly.

"Do you have a plan?"

"Not yet."

"Nothing illegal will be taking place I hope."

"Of course not."

"In that case use my private living area. You will have all of the resources Hogwarts can provide. That's including Albus." For the first time it feels as if freeing Bellatrix from Azkaban might be possible.

"Have you heard about the auror position yet?" I look up at Minerva and smile: she always knows how to pull me out of the darkness. I inform her that I haven't before slipping off my cloak and readying myself for a nice conversation with a friend.

xx

"Come back to Hogwarts with me, Hermione."

I shake my head no and the world spins nauseatingly fast around me. "I'm fine." The words are thick as they move over my tired tongue. "I'll see you later." I turn to apparate and a hand stops me. I look at Minerva and I'm not sure which of her to focus on.

"It is not safe to apparate while you are intoxicated dear. Let's not ruin a nice night out, because we've had a little too much to drink. Walk me back to Hogwarts, and if you are sober by then you can go."

I nod at her and link my arm around hers. Step by step we make out way closer to Hogwarts. The ground has a slight tilt and I stubble as I try to follow it.

We reach the gates and I glance over at Minerva, "Can I go now?"

"I don't think so." I nod knowing that it's not a good idea to argue with her. I follow her into Hogwarts and she catches me every time I trip up the stairs. As we reach the gargoyle I am giggling hysterically about the adventure to her office.

I turn toward Minerva and find her smiling at me. I try to smile back, but my muscles are refusing to cooperate with me.

"I love you, Minerva." I notice a shift in her expression but her head is swimming around in my vision so I can't tell what's different.

"I love you too, Hermione," She responds quietly. "Now let's get you into my quarters."

With my arm draped over Minerva's shoulders we enter her living room. We move over to the couch and I sit pulling her down with me.

As the silence descends upon us I can feel them coming: the water is building in my eyes, and it hurts to swallow around the lump in my throat. When the tears beg for release I let them fall. I let them shake my whole body. I can feel Minerva's arms wrap around me and pull me closer. I bury my face in her shoulder as I curl into her.

As Minerva whispers, "It will be okay my dear," I realize I would be lost without her.