A/N: Pretty long chapter for me. Long story short my dad had a stroke today and while I was waiting for him to get done with all of his tests this went in my head.
Sheldon laid in bed,, unable to start his REM cycle. At first he had assumed that the disruption was due to the fact that he had apparently acquired a child at some point. However, the thought of molding a young mind didn't bother him. The relationship that would eventually result in said child was what was giving him anxiety. The more he thought about that, the more he disregarded that hypothesis.
The problem was Penny. She was acting oddly, even for her. She claimed that she was working a lot but Sheldon distinctly heard her television on at times she was supposed to be at work. On the rare occasion he passed her on the stairs, she kept her head down and hurried away from him. She didn't come over for Halo night, or even pizza night. He needed to talk to a Penny expert, someone who could explain this new behavior. Leonard was the only male in his social group that equated to a Penny expert, but for some reason the thought of having that personal of a conversation with him was repellent. He should talk to Penny. He wanted to talk to Penny. But for some reason he didn't think she wanted to talk to him.
"Oh this is nonsense. I want to talk to Penny, I will talk to Penny." Sheldon announced to the room. He got out of bed, sliding into his conveniently placed slippers, put on his robe, and left his room quietly, shutting the door behind him. He tip-toed past Marie sleeping on the couch and left the apartment.
Knock knock knock
"Penny"
Knock knock knock
"Penny"
Knock knock knock
"Penny"
A slightly drunk Penny opened the door. "What up Sheldor?" She opened the door to let him in. She watched as he opened and closed his mouth several times. "Sheldon, what do you want?"
He sat down on the couch. "I do not know what I want. I am feeling confused and anxious. I also believe I feel hurt."
She sat down beside him. "Why do you feel that way? I don't like it when you're hurt Moonpie."
Sheldon gave her a well-deserved glare for daring to use the word Moonpie before continuing. "At first, I thought that it was due to the nature that I must eventually be in an intimate relationship in order to procure a child. But no matter how I tried to focus on that particular problem you kept coming to mind. You are avoiding me. I wish to know why."
"I'm not avoiding you." Penny stammered out.
"Oh I beg to differ. You have not come over to our apartment in two days, 10 hours, and 43 minutes. You have not even come by to steal my milk or attempt to engage me in very uninformative reality shows about housewives in Miami. Why?"
Penny got up and headed towards her kitchen. "I need a drink. Do you need a drink? Maybe a Jack and coke?" Sheldon got up and followed her. She had managed to grab the whiskey before he grabbed her arm and turned her around.
"What did I do wrong?" He whispered. Penny couldn't take her eyes off of the hand that voluntarily touched her. "I can't fix the problem if you fail to inform me of it."
Penny took a shot right of the bottle to gather her courage before answering him. "There is no problem. You didn't do anything wrong. You're perfect ok? Somehow I'm the problem."
Sheldon shook his head. "You are definitely not a problem, not since I worked you into our group with great success."
"I am the problem Sheldon! I'm messed up in the head! I'm stupid. I'm a stupid, vapid, stupid girl wrapped up in a pretty package so that no one will notice!"
Sheldon had to fight the urge to bolt out of the apartment. He didn't like confrontation. He didn't like Penny thinking this way more. "You are by no means the most intelligent woman that I have ever met. You are also not the least intelligent. Leslie Winkle is. You are wrapped up in a pretty package, but in spite of that I have come to appreciate you. You always know what to say. For example, if our situations were reversed you would know exactly what to say to make me feel better." She gave him a watery smile.
"Thanks." She moved to sit back down before the world started spinning to fast.
"May I ask why you are drinking? You usually only drink to celebrate something or to forget your troubles for the night." Penny was drunk just enough to answer him honestly.
"I drink to forget you ok? I'm drinking to forget that I'm not smart enough for you, that you don't like human contact, that I am stupid enough to fall for the one guy in the world who doesn't want to fuck me."
Sheldon stared at her for a moment, gathering his thoughts before he spoke. "If you would have listened to me earlier you would have heard me say that you are not stupid. If you continue to talk about yourself like that I will leave. I never said I don't like human contact, I just don't like germs. I highly doubt that you are sick with anything other than your own inebriation at this point in time. And what makes you think that I don't want to have coitus with you?" Sheldon sat next to her and pulled her in for a hug. Penny stiffened up before hugging him back.
"Leonard thinks I'm stupid." She said, refusing to let the subject drop. "Whenever we fought when we were going out, he'd say I was too stupid to understand him."
For the first time in his life Sheldon was working on pure instinct. He tilted her head up. Whispering he said "Then Leonard is by far the dumbest man I know and has officially made the list." Then he dropped his head down and kissed Penny.