April and Raph left Leo and Donnie alone, all four needing a moment to themselves after all that was said. April and Raph bumped into each other, and their eyes widened at the sight of each other. They both rushed outside and sped walked a good distance from the farmhouse so that no one could hear them. They were aching to tell each other what they had just been told.
"He told me," April said hurriedly.
"Me too," Raph replied quickly. "You first, you first."
"Okay," April breathed, running her hand through her hair. "It's way deeper than we thought. He feels like everything that's happened ever since the Kraang invasion is all his fault. He feels like if he had agreed with the other plan, that we wouldn't be in this situation right now and that we'd be back in New York, either fighting or having defeated the Kraang and restoring the city. He feels like it's his fault for all the pain we've felt, and how we're not out there saving the city and just worrying more. He just... he feels so hopeless. And he looks it, too. It's... it's so much to hold in. Any longer and... man, I don't know what'd happen if he held it in longer..."
Raph's heart felt as if someone had an extremely tight hold on it, making breathing feel like a workout. It was bad enough knowing one brother was feeling worthless and hopeless, but to hear that another brother was feeling the same exact way? It was just crushing him. He was at a loss for words. He stared down at the grass. "...well, crap."
April looked at Raph. He looked so hurt. "I know," she mumbled.
"That's... exactly how Leo feels, too."
"Really?" Raph looked up, holding her gaze as confirmation. She sighed. "Jeez, that's... that's horrible."
"And he feels stupid for havin' nightmares about his trauma. He said he isn't worried about himself, he's worried about setting us back and making us worry about him. Said he felt like he didn't deserve to be worried about. And he just," Raph paused, clearing his throat. "He said why even bother trying."
They both fell silent for a moment, as if they needed to once again take in everything that was said. To accept that it was real. "This is... we've dealt with a lot of things, but this is so much more different. I mean, they're spiraling into depression if they're not there yet. Those feelings might never go away."
"I know," Raph whispered, more to himself than to April. "I just... I hope somehow in the future, things look less grim for them, that they feel less... like how they do now."
"What should we do?"
"I don't know," Raph replied. "We gotta be patient with 'em. Do things at their pace. If we don't, they might feel like we're against 'em."
"They might need a push every not and then, though," April sighed. "This is going to be an... interesting process."
"Yeah, somethin' like that," Raph mumbled. "Let's head back in. Why dontcha bring the splint in, that way we don't gotta come back out here to get it for tomorrow."
"Sounds good," April replied. "Meet ya back in there." April headed for the barn, and Raph headed for the farmhouse. He walked in to see Mikey hugging Donnie from behind, a smile on both their faces. Raph let out a soft exhale as he smiled a bit at the display. He walked in the kitchen, grabbing his two brothers' attention.
"Don't choke him, Mikey," Raph said, half joking and half serious.
"I'm not," Mikey replied innocently, loosening his hold a bit.
Raph raised a brow and shifted his gaze to Donnie, who seemed amused. "Alright, but if I hear a squeak outta Donnie, you're next, Mikey."
Mikey immediately let go of Donnie, making Raph and Donnie laugh a bit. "Where's April?"
"She's grabbin' the splint she and Casey made and bringin' it in so that we don't gotta go out and get it tomorrow. Better to have it on hand." Donnie's amused smile faded a bit. Raph shuffled his feet a bit, trying to figure out how to get Donnie out of his funk. He walked over to the table, leaning down a bit and placing his hands on the table, looking directly at Donnie. "Hey, D." Donnie looked at Raph, a confused look on his face. "Listen man. Don't think that we're not thankful for everythin' you do for us. This team wouldn't be complete without you, okay?" Raph lifted a hand and placed it on Donnie's shoulder, giving him a gentle squeeze. "Why dontcha go tinker with some stuff in the barn? Gives ya somethin' to do, and fidgeting with stuff sometimes takes your mind off of things that bother ya, yeah?"
The idea did intrigue Donnie. He really wanted to do something to distract him, and doing hands-on things usually did help ease his mind. "But I told Leo after I ate that I'd go back up and check up on him- -"
"I did that already. You were down here for a while, so to ease your nerves, I went and checked on him myself."
"How is he?"
"He's managing. Don't worry, D. I changed his towel, gave him what he needed, and he isn't feelin' too much pain anymore. I think he just needs some chill time. And so do you. You've been workin' your shell off, you deserve some down time to do whatever you like. There's a house full of other people to check on him. He's safe."
Donnie shifted his gaze elsewhere, still unsure if he should go to the barn. The pain Leo was going through was his fault, and- -
"Bro, everyone needs a break now and then. Go take yours. Even if ya don't think you need or deserve one, we're gonna make you take a break anyways," Mikey said, interrupting Donnie's dark thought. "Trust us; we've got this. Go, dude."
Donnie looked between his two brothers. He knew that they were going to make him take a break no matter what, that was for sure. He sighed, smiling a bit. "Okay. You guys win. But if you need me, you know where I'll be, okay?"
"We know," Mikey and Raph said in unison. Donnie let out a soft breath, finally standing up and heading out of the kitchen. He looked up at the stairs for a moment. "Go, Donnie." Mikey and Raph said sternly but with care. Donnie smiled again, nodding and heading out of the door. They watched him leave, and Raph turned to Mikey.
"Mikey, I got somethin' for ya to do, okay? It's important."
Mikey widened his eyes a bit, nodding. "Lay it on me, bro."