A/N IM SO SORRY I JUST REALIZED I FORGOT TO POST THIS
Ben Solo and Kylo Solo.
Sons of Leia Organa, senator and sons of Han Solo, actor turned pilot. And Luke, uncle and father figure/lover of Han Solo.
The boys never had a chance in having a normal upbringing. Even before they were born. The marriage between Leia and Han was controversial due to their stark contrast of status. Han Solo, teen heartthrob actor retires, leaves the whole acting world behind for her, a young bright girl who would someday follow her father's place in politics. Before she was a senator, she was just a Harvard student working on finishing up her degree in law.
The boys were constantly under cameras from the moment they were visible in their mother's womb.
Their mother did all means necessary to keep them shielded from the cameras. She limited their time from the public world, sent them to private schools with tight security, and made sure the walls that surrounded her house was high and sturdy. The boys didn't notice much on how protected they were. Leia made sure of it by providing vast lots of space in the mansion along with activities and such.
Their father on the other hand was lenient, the complete opposite. He wasn't as cautious as her and took his boys wherever he pleased: amusement parks, zoos, hell even in his vast collection of planes and jets.
Ben and Kylo's fondest memories were whenever their dad would take them in his jet and fly them anywhere they pleased. Ben's favorite memory was when their dad flew them to New York to get pizza. Kylo's favorite memory was when their dad let him fly the jet when he was ten years old.
However that memory was Leia's least favorite. It haunted her to this day whenever she remembered it - of caught footage of Kylo flying the jet while Han was in the passenger seat drinking whiskey in a flask. It became news and her boys were taken away under custody until both Leia and Han were cleared and completed courses.
"I can't believe you let Kylo fly the jet! He's only ten years old -
"He's fine. He's a natural," Han said feebly, trying to walk around Leia's temper. "Nothing happened. I was there."
"Han there's videos of it," she snapped. She could barely breathe. "How can you be so stupid?"
"It's not much of a scandal. Everyone's overreacting. They're acting as if he crashed into a building. I just let him fly a bit - just five minutes and I was there. Everything was under control -
"I just got my position in the House," she bit every word out. "What if they make me resign because of this?"
"Leia. I'm sorry I didn't put that to account -
Leia covered her mouth with her hand. "What if they take our boys away?" she asked quietly. The thought didn't occur to her until now - that they could lose their boys.
Han went pale and cursed underneath his breath. How could he be so careless? "They're not - I'm not going to let them" he shook his head several times. "Leia this will all clear out."
Leia and Han didn't get their custody of their boys until six months later after the videos and photos leaked. Even when they did get their boys back, nothing was ever the same between them. The times where they loved each other like young love was becoming less frequent as the years went by.
The boys' childhood was far too complicated for any one of them to try to piece it in order. Their parents were always on and off. Some days they'll be in love and other days they couldn't stand the sight of one another. Whenever Han would go away for space, that's when their Uncle Luke came. Uncle Luke would come and pick up the broken pieces and make the boys whole. He would take them to soccer practice and pick them up from school whenever Han went away and he would even take them to their shoots.
Ben and Kylo have been modeling since they were four months old. It wasn't their mother's idea, that was a given. Han wanted them to model because he was proud of his boys and wanted them to be shown off to the world. Leia was against having her sons being out in display but over time she warmed up to the idea. Her boys were handsome and from her twins' birth, companies wanted her boys to be the faces of their brandings. She allowed Ben and Kylo to model for she figured it'll teach her boys how to manage money and negotiate with companies. Naturally she kept seventy five percent of her sons' earnings and set aside for when they were adults and the rest, she allowed them to have spending money. She made them keep a log of their spending since they were six years old and they had to ask for permission of what they can spend their money on until they were fifteen.
Kylo can't even think about a childhood memory without remembering three other memories. Everything about it was a blur, a train wreck. He feels schizophrenic thinking about it.
"When did you stop liking modeling?" Rey asked as she clutched on to his jacket.
He pulled her closer to him, wrapping her in place. He blinked and thought about it. "What do you mean?"
"Like when did you start hating it?" she asked. She remembers it, the first time they had met - how moody he was. How irritable and short tempered he was.
He bit his lip and thought about it. "I don't think I ever liked it," he admitted.
"Really?"
Kylo nodded as his eyes lowered. "Yeah. I grew up to it. I didn't think much of it - I thought it was just a normal thing."
"You never wanted to stop modeling?"
"Well Ben wanted to -
"I'm asking you."
He held her tighter. That pleased him. That she was asking a question directly for him. Just him and not him in a matching set. Or in a pair. His whole life before Ben stopped modeling was being constantly referred to as a set, the twins. "Of course there were times when I was a kid and I got irritable and didn't want to smile. But my dad or Uncle Luke always convinced me to. Growing up...it wasn't a choice for us. We just did what everyone told us to - I wasn't given a choice," he corrected, forcing himself to speak about himself and only about himself.
"I still can't believe your mom allowed you guys to be child models."
Kylo chuckled but it was hallow. That was one of many frequently asked questions he had gotten growing up whenever he did an interview. "Well my mom was always working. She was the bread winner. She wasn't really around either. She saw our dad taking us to shoots and auditions as a form of bonding and so she was okay with it - I guess I started really hating it when I was in my teens."
"No pinpoint age?"
"No. It was a slow build up. I really hated it in my teens especially when I hit puberty and companies wanted me to look identical to Ben."
Rey laughed. "But you're twins."
"But we're different. We were experiencing puberty differently and yet the companies wanted us to be carbon copies. We used to work for a fashion company and had to monitor our muscle mass and weight and facial hair. We were under contract and had to work for them until we were twenty or supposed to until we broke our contract. We hated what the company was doing to us especially making us do so many publicity stunts." He exhaled and chewed on the inner part of his cheek. "I -
His phone rang.
It wasn't in his pocket. It was on top of Rey's dresser.
His skin tightened from the sound. It echoed against the wood of the dresser, echoed as if it was an alarm. A ticking bomb. Tick. Tick...Tick.
"You should answer it," her voice went low. Rey brought Kylo's jacket closer to her.
He knew who was calling him at this hour of the night. "I know who it is."
"I do too," she answered, using all her will to make herself sound composed.
"I don't have to answer it," he tells her. Assures her. "I can always call him tomorrow. Would you want that?"
It took a while for Rey to respond. When she did, it was delayed. In a stiffened nod.
Kylo stroked her cheek. "It's alright. You don't have to feel bad for not always answering on time."
"I'm assuming you're speaking from experience?" she asked cheekily.
When he woke up, he makes sure not to wake her. He unfolds himself from her and takes his phone and himself into her living room.
Kylo scratched his head and yawned as he waited for his phone to load up all the notifications from Ben. There was a time difference between them but he knows that Ben didn't sleep at all and was wide awake regardless. Kylo dialed up his brother and took several breaths in anticipation for what will come.
In three rings, Ben picks up and speaks in a frenzy. "Kylo - Rey - do you know if she-
"She's fine," Kylo responded indifferently, keeping his tone even.
"Rey and I had a fight yesterday," Ben sounded distressed. Guilty. Sad. Hurt. "I tried calling her and trying to make things right but she didn't respond."
Shit. Here it goes. Kylo took a deep breath and prepared himself for hell. "She's alright now. I stayed over last night."
Silence.
Kylo clutched onto his cellphone.
"Why didn't you tell me? I called you and texted you last night," Ben asked in that frightening placid tone that he hated.
"I'm sorry - I should have but -
"You made me worried sick the whole night," Ben's voice was hard.
"I'm sorry -
"I thought something bad had happened to her," Ben's voice went louder, slicing every word Kylo had to say. "I thought she was out at place she shouldn't be -
"Ben, please listen to -
"Don't interrupt me," Ben warned, returning his voice into that frightening placid state.
He hushes up in a second.
"Kylo, you have to inform me in on important things especially at a time like last night. Rey is also my girlfriend. You have to put my feelings in consideration."
What? "She didn't want to talk to you. She needed some time alone. She needed me," Kylo spat out. "What else could I do?"
"You could have texted me that."
"I know, I feel shitty for not doing it - it just -
"You didn't want to ruin the mood?" Ben's words are like venom. Spiteful. Low.
"Didn't you fucking hear what I just said to you?" Kylo snapped back. "I was busy being there for her - trying to fix the fucking mess you made! How can you think of me like that? You think I wanted you to be worried the whole night? You think I'm only here to be your fucking little replacement? A babysitter?"
"I didn't say any of that."
"You don't have to."
"Put Rey on the phone for me," Ben says, glossing it over. "I don't have much time. I have to be head over to the organization in twenty minutes. I want to apologize to her."
"How about me?"
"What about you? You should be the one apologizing for failing to think of your brother's feelings."
Kylo hung up on him then.
"Was that Ben?" Rey asked as she entered the room.
"Yeah. It was," Kylo said through gritted teeth.
Rey swallowed hard. "I'm assuming by the fumes you're releasing in the air that it didn't go well."
"Talk to your boyfriend about it," Kylo crossed his arms.
Rey hesitated. "I'm not ready. I just -
"I feel the same way too." There was so much Kylo wanted to say to his brother - for one thing he wanted to give Ben a piece of his mind about the gifts. And how much he hates that he's a temporary replacement for his brother. "Do you want to go out? To help ease our minds?"
"Go out?" Rey raised her eyebrow.
Kylo nodded. "Yeah." They needed time together. A break. He wanted to go out. Been wanting to. He wants to spend time with her outside their comfort zone. He wanted to take her out somewhere nice instead of always taking her to the couch or the living room floor.
"But I thought we agreed to keep us only indoors -
"I'm known to break contracts from time to time."
Color was escaping him. Rey can tell by the reading the fleeting emotions on his face. He's hesitant, regretful of his decision. She was skeptical with the choice but only went along because he wanted to but now they were still amongst the crowd of animated people.
They're dressed casually – he's in dark jeans and was wearing a washed out charcoal hoodie zipped up with the hood on. They went to his apartment earlier before arriving at the restaurant to allow him to freshen up. He even shaved. His face is bare. It gives him a youthful look – the man in his twenties look opposed to the man pushing thirty. She blinked several times in interest. She rather liked that he was clean shaven, away from any sort of facial hair while she preferred Ben with a full on beard and mustache. It reminded her of his look in his teens, this angst but boyish look.
Rey was wearing a light off the gray sweater and blue jeans.
They match, it occurs to her. They look like a couple instead of friends having dinner. She pretends to go over the menu as she watched Kylo read the options word for word.
"Are you two ready?" the waiter asks.
Kylo looks at her first. Instinctively. She gives him a firm nod. "Yes," he said as he cleared his throat. "We -are."
"Sir," the waiter's voice went into a near whisper. "Your hood."
Kylo stared at the waiter then, stared at him with little patience. "So?"
The waiter hesitated. "The restaurant doesn't allow hats or hoods on. Can you please put your hood down?"
"No."
Rey took a sip of her water. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to go to a five star restaurant if they wanted to blend in. They must of stuck out like a sore thumb in their relaxed attire. She scanned the whole room, no one recognizes them but it was going to happen, she felt. She can feel it in her bones.
"I got into an accident a few years back," Kylo explains as matter of factly. "I'm very insecure about revealing my scars."
"Sir –
"It's okay, we can always go somewhere else," Rey offered. Kylo was causing a scene.
"It's alright." Kylo nonchalantly slips the waiter a hundred.
The waiter hushes up quickly. "So what will you two have?"
Rey pressed her lips together, preventing herself from laughing. "I can't believe how the waiters here are so easily persuaded," she says the second the waiter leaves.
Kylo smirked. "People are funny with money."
"Do you go here often?"
"Like once a year. The food's good but I never get much privacy since people recognize me."
"So what did you do differently this time?" she asked with a smirk.
"I shaved, not wearing my leather jacket, and didn't request a private table. I'm surprised how hiding in plain sight actually works. I even made a reservation under a different name this time too. Don't worry I'll be paying with cash to avoid the whole background check."
"Really a different name? What name did you give them?"
"Matt."
She raised her eyebrow and laughed. "Just Matt?"
"Matt Leradar."
"Le-radar?" she laughed. "At least give a last name that sounds convincing."
"Hey I had to come up with a name on the spot. I used to have a different name to go by but paparazzi cracked the code. I told them it was French."
"Okay, Matt."
Once the food came, Rey and Kylo relaxed. A few people eyed them but nothing else. It was most likely because of their attire at a place like this that caught their attention.
The food's good. Rey had gotten miso soup, spicy tuna rolls, and cucumber rolls. Kylo had much of a variety due to his vast palette and assorted sushi spread across his plate. There were different cuts of fish that she did not recognize. She doesn't ask what they were and proceeded to eat. They ate in silence. In dead silence.
It was so awkward that it made her skin crawl. It reminds her of them before, before Ben went to Kenya and how they barely spoke to another.
She hates feeling this feeling – as if he's disinterested and bored of her.
But they weren't supposed to be out together alone, she told herself. And Kylo was very private and avoided public places. He's an introvert out of his environment. He was trying to lay low, not cause attention.
She feels his foot brush against hers underneath the table. She looked up from her plate and stared at him.
He stared at her blankly but his foot brushed up against her again, deliberately this time.
Her heart skipped a beat.
She wondered if he wanted her to take off her flats and feel him up as they proceeded to eat. Ben always liked it when she did that.
He tilted his head up then, gestures her to turn around.
She does so and sees a man walking towards them, a man with fiery red hair.
"Hey," Kylo says, acknowledging his presence.
"Hi," Hux said with a sly smile. "It's nice seeing the two of you bond while Ben is away."
"Do you follow tabloids or his site?" Rey snorted. Honestly this man was too much. He's always here it feels – like he always keeps a check on them.
"A mixture of both," Hux gave her a smile. "I like keeping up with my colleagues and friends."
Rey sat up straighter. The smile was intended to be welcoming but she saw the smile as it was, an act.
"What's wrong Rey? You seem very nervous."
"Keep your voice low," her eyebrows furrowed.
"Very well," he pulls a chair and sat down.
"That's not what she meant," Kylo hissed.
"It's nice that you are keeping your brother's girlfriend company while he's away," Hux stated.
Rey raised her eyebrow. It sounded almost sincere.
"Ben asked me to. He's a good guy," Kylo answered as if he was speaking to the police.
"You guys look nice together. Hell if I didn't know she was your brother's girlfriend, I thought she was yours."
Her skin tightened.
"Should I take that a compliment?"
"It depends on you."
Rey sank her nails into her palm as she watched the conversation between rivals play out. They talked even after the bill was paid. They talked to a point it sounded like two lost long friends finding each other.
"We should work together again, Ren."
Ren? That must have been Kylo's pseudo name he used to use.
Kylo nodded. "We should."
Hux stood up and offered his hand to Rey. Out of spite, she shook it. "I'll see you around."
"What was that earlier?" she asked as they got into his car.
Kylo didn't say anything.
"Did you two used to be friends?"
When he does respond its minutes later during the drive. They were supposed to go to the movies after lunch but Hux killed the mood and now they were going back to Kylo's apartment. "He was my best friend until we had a falling out. We're friends to some extent but it's not the same."
"The shoot when you guys were teens?"
Kylo shook his head. "It's more than that."
"What happened?"
"There was this girl Ben and I used to like when were teenagers. We fought over her until we decided to share her. She was our first shared girlfriend," Kylo added. "But Hux didn't understand that it was the only solution."
"And that caused you guys to stop being friends?"
"Yeah. He felt that Ben was using me and only came up with the idea so he can have someone be his substitute whenever it was convenient."
Rey blinked. "So you and Ben stopped being friends with Hux over that?"
"Hux was my best friend," Kylo emphasized. "He was never fond of Ben ever since we were kids. He felt Ben was phony and manipulative and that him being nice was an act." Rey frowned. That really means something coming from Hux himself, the sly calculating man. "Don't be sad, Rey it was bound to happen. I tried for years to get them to get along but it didn't work. It's only part of life. How can I be friends with someone that doesn't like my brother?"
She laid back against the passenger seat, allowing them to be silent. She buried herself in her thoughts and began to pick at the idea that maybe – possibly – it was a stretch that Hux was intimidating all three of them wasn't because he felt threatened or wanted to expose their secret. Maybe it was his twisted way in looking after Kylo. "Do you think Hux knows?"
"I'm pretty damn sure he does." Besides Ben, Hux was the second person that knew him well.
Silence.
"When we get to my apartment I think you should call up Ben," Kylo said to her without an expression on his face.
She forced herself to nod as she wondered if Kylo was asking her because he felt it was time for to make amends or to prove something.
She calls up Ben like she promised.
Kylo sat beside her, listening intently to the conversation.
"I'm sorry," Ben says, pleads.
Kylo can hear perfectly for she has him on speaker.
He sat still, looking at the corner of the room. His ears burned as he heard his girl say, "It's alright."
His jaw twitched. Honestly why is she being so understanding? She should still be upset that Ben was pressuring her.
"I promise I won't get upset anymore – I don't want you to feel unsafe with me."
Kylo scoffed. What a load of crap. "I'm surprised you didn't get a leash," he muttered.
"Is that Kylo? Is he with you right now?"
"Well, yeah," Rey shrugged. It didn't really matter to her.
"You should have told me that he was with you."
"Well it should be a given that I'll be with her," Kylo raised his voice for Ben to hear him one hundred percent.
"You know what I mean," Ben kept his voice low and placid.
Kylo always hated when he did that. Ever since they were kids. Ben was the type of kid that did the 'I'm not touching you thing' to annoy you.
"Sorry, I'll let you know," Rey said then.
"What did you guys do today?" he asks, he sounded cheerful, relieved.
"We went out for lunch –
"You guys went out? As in out?" his voice went tight.
"Yeah," she said laughed. "Whatever out is there?"
"You already know you shouldn't be seen with him alone."
Kylo cracked his knuckles in the background, trying to sedate his temper.
"We were bored and we were careful –
"Rey, that's not the point. You should have run it by with me first. You know –
"Stop," she said firmly. Rey was tired of being passive. "Stop talking to me as if I'm a child."
Pause.
"I'm sorry," Ben's voice went low. "We just made up. I don't want to fight again."
Kylo's jaw twitched.
She shook her head. "I feel like we didn't. It's not resolved. We're still fighting."
"Listen – I have to go but we'll talk more tomorrow, okay? I love you."
"I love you too." She waits until Ben ends the call. She put her phone away and sighed.
"It's hard. He's far away and he's pressed for time," Kylo tells her. "He does want to make things better. He's also under a lot of stress as it is."
"I know that's what gets to me. I feel like that I don't get a say whenever I'm with him." She takes out her phone again and stared at the back of it. She had a polaroid of her and Ben smiling. She took the photo out of the case and flipped it so when she put the case back, the photo appeared blank. "I wish I had a photo of all three of us," she says. "But I now I can't," she says this to acknowledge Kylo. "We don't even have a photo of just each us together."
"We do," he countered.
Rey shook her head. "No we don't," she laughed lightly.
Kylo thought about it for a moment. "Oh shit we don't. Well, let's take a picture." He pulls out his phone then, and held it up in front them awkwardly with shaking hands.
Rey laughed. "I don't know why but something tells me you've never taken a selfie before," she commented as she watched Kylo fumbled with switching the screen to selfie mode.
"I have like…..last year or so," he said weakly as he scowled. He was becoming frustrated at how sensitive the screen was and how it kept switching back to regular mode. "Come on fuck. This fucker won't fucking work!" he said as he violently pressed against the glass screen. It kept switching back and forth to different modes. "Goddamn it open!"
"Here let me," she repressed herself from laughing. She pressed on the screen with ease.
Kylo rolled his eyes and blew his hair away from his face. He still had his hood and put it down and adjusted his hair then. "Easy for you. You have small fingers and I warmed it up for you."
"I'm pretty sure it was dead before you warmed it up for me," she teased.
Kylo couldn't help but to smirk. He liked it when she talked to him. She seemed so submissive whenever she spoke to Ben - hell scratch that, whenever she was with Ben. But when she's talking to him, just him - Kylo - she has fiery spirit within her. A sharp tongue and a cheeky nature. She's insightful with him, she's curious and playful
"Come here, get close to me," she instructed.
He does so, scoots close to her as he held his phone in the air.
"Smile," she says through a posed face.
Kylo does so. He tries to press capture but his fingers are too bulky.
"Here, let me. I'll do everything then."
Click.
They broke from their pose and looked at the photo. Kylo made a face at the picture. In the photo Rey looked natural and happy while Kylo looked disturbed, staring directly at the screen with wide eyes. "I looked disturbed," he frowned.
"You do," she giggled.
"Do I always look like that?"
"Yes."
"Stop teasing," Kylo grumbled. "Come here," he said, pulling her closer. They take the photo again, this time Kylo smiles this time.
Click.
They examine the photo - Rey looks as nice as she did in the first photo while Kylo looked like a maniac with an overbearing wide smile. Like a toothy hyena.
"Let's try again," Rey said. She covered her mouth with her hand from laughing.
Click.
"Ew. Nope," he shook his head automatically.
"I think that's sort of nice."
"No. You look adorable. I look like a psycho killer."
Click.
Click.
Click.
"What the fuck?" he mumbled. "Why is it so hard for me to take a selfie? I model for a living! I was sex symbol of the year three times -
Rey giggled. He always gets mad at anything. "I kind of like the photos -
"You are not keeping those photos," he raised his voice out of frustration. "I'm going to delete them."
"Come here let's try another one." She pressed her face against his and smiled wide in a cheesy manner. "CHUUHHH-EEESSSSE," she said in an overbearing tone as she closed her eyes and jumped about.
Kylo couldn't help but to laugh. "Stop jumping - you're going to smear - you're a fucking kid I swear."
Click.
They examined the photo together.
"I like this one," he says as his blood levels went down. The photo pleased him for he genuinely looked happy and because of her - that he was next to her -this ray of sunshine. "How can you possibly still look cute with making a face like that? It's fucking dark magic I swear."
Rey laughed. "You think I'm cute?" she asked smugly.
"No shit. You're my girlfriend." Kylo brought his phone closer to his face and examined it more, the photo. "You're so fucking photogenic - how? Like how fucking how?" he asked exasperated.
She shrugged.
"I'm going to keep this photo. The other photos can be erased from existence."
Rey nodded. "Fair enough," she said emphasizing the 'f" sound. God he liked her accent. It was her accent that makes her so graceful and poised, he swears. "Kylo," she called out his name.
"Yes?"
"I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For this!" She snatched the phone out of his hands and ran.
"Hey!" he laughed as he chased after her.
"I'll give it back to you once I send all the photos to myself!"
"Over my dead body! Come back here!"
"Never!" she declared.
He snatched her by the waist then. "You're such a fucking kid!" he laughed.
"So what if I am? You're not deleting them until I get a copy!" she squealed as he twisted her about.
Rey fumbled about and freed herself and ran for cover.
She ends up in his room - he pushes her on his bed and climbed on top of her. Rey squirmed about underneath his weight. She laughed. "No. You still can't delete them." She raised her hand above her head, moving the phone further away from him. She manages to flip him over and go on top of him. It's brief though for he fought back with vengeance.
"I can do this all day," he grinned.
She laughed as they wrestled with one another. It wasn't a serious thing. No danger. No animosity. Just playing with one another. Laughing. Giggling. They kept fighting for dominance. "So can I. I've been told I'm scrappy, the underdog of every room I enter," she says with pride.
He moved about, kept her pinned underneath him as she wiggled. "You say that as if that's something to be proud of."
"It is," she stuck out her tongue. "I'm a mutt with eighteen years of self defense and you're a pure bred."
"I thought you were a kitten," he taunted. He couldn't help but to be amused by her sense of humor.
"I'm no kitten. I'm an underdog that needs no care."
"Just give me the phone, that's all I want."
"No." She clutched on to the phone and moved it further above her head.
"Fine, I'm going to be even more rough with you," he laughed, pressing his entire weight on her.
She giggled. She's not scared. She's not threatened. She feels so safe with him. This is the type of play she likes. Not the degrading kind, not the dominant and submissive play. "Oh yeah? That's what you're calling earlier?" she bantered. "What are you going to do now?"
He gave her a wicked smile.