"Loosing control."

Chapter 10: Anywhere but here.

"Miroku?...wake up."

I felt gentle hands shake me,and a evenly gentle voice try to wake me from my sleep. If I didn't hurt I'd have reveled in the fact there was a women in my bed. Since I wasn't in the mood, I groaned rolling away. My body knew it was to early, so why was I being nagged?

"Miroku if you don't move in five minute's I will flip you off this bed."

Sango? Why was she in my bed? This had to be a dream. Cracking an eye open I got a eye full of Sango laying next to me in my bed. It was still to early, and I was to cranky to hit on her.

"Go away she devil."

"I did warn you." Her sing song voice flooded over me. If I didn't hurt i'd have laughed.

Yelping , I felt hands grasp me and push. Landing on the floor I groggily opened my eyes. Sango leaned over eyeing me with cool humored eyes. Sango was really in my bed. A smile found it's way to my face, Sango has spent the night with me last night. Hope I didn't do anything stupid.

Moaning I laid my head on the floor looking up at her. "That was rude."

"So was not waking up."

"I'm hung over." Puckering my lower lip, I tried to get the sympathy vote.

Rolling her eyes she was clearly immune to the cuteness. "Oh well big boy. Time to get dress, were running."

I moaned again pulling my blanket closer, my head was pounding. She wanted to run? All I wanted to do was sleep. The hell did I do last night? I remember the janga, and Sesshomaru strangling, then the girls...the girls. That was right we played never have I ever. An I was the first out. Wasn't hard, so no bully for them.

"Can we just snuggle and sleep?"

"You're cute, but I'm not missing my run."

"Aren't you hung over?!"

A smug smile appeared on her face. "I'm not a light weight like you. Plus aspirin before drinking. Always prevents hang more stalling let's go." her voice was firm and strict. I'd have enjoyed it more if she wasn't demanding me to exercise. She was worse then a trainer.

Mustering all the strength I had, I hopped back in the bed, Wrapping my arms around Sango's waist I pulled her closer. She stiffened at first, then relaxed. The feel of her hips pressed against my stomach was a feeling I could get use to. Waking up next to her was the most amazing feeling even. Even hung over I appreciated it.

She sat still as I wrapped myself around her body, with one hand she cautiously started stroking my hair, laughing as I purred her other hand came down for a smack on my ass.

"oooowch." I whimpered pathetically. God she wasn't going to let up was she?

"You can stay." My face light up,I could stay and have a Sango to snuggle? Catching my face she frowned, "I'm still going running."

I knew I had to suck it up. I had no one to blame but myself for being this trashed. Sighing I let Sango go. I wan't going to lose any time with her. Looked like I was running. Maybe I could sweat all the booze from my system.

I sadly pulled away from Sango's body, already missing her warmth. I began to rummage under my bed till I pulled out a fresh pair of shorts. Waving them in her face she laughed. "I'm ready mistress."

Shaking her head she stood, "Time for me to get dressed. Meet you outside in 5"" As I nodded she head out, but not before throwing me a smile over her shoulder.

I yawned, Looking over I saw a pile of sleeping people. Keeping the laugh in I studied them. They all looked so comfortable in their little puppy pile. I saw Kouga, Sesshomaru, and Kikyou. A sting of jealously rippled through me. Bastards got to sleep in. Looking around I surprisingly noticed Kagome and Inu-Yasha were the only one's missing.

Assuming they had gotten up early an were off doing something, I stood. My body groaned in protest. It didn't want to wake up anymore then I did. Forcing my feet to move, I shuffled as quiet as I could out of the bus.

Shielding my eyes from the sun I found myself letting out another sound of regret. I should just crawl back into the bus and catch a rain check.

"Oh you actually made it."

I turned to look at Sango as she came walking up, I was glad I made it as well. She sauntered over, all she wore were a pale blue workout set, shorts that were so short I was sure I could see ass, and the usual sports bra. Yes I was glad I had crawled out of hell for this.

As she began to stretch I felt my mouth water. Watching her bend all the way down I hungrily devoured the way her ass looked in her shorts. She made sure to stay down longer then usual. Standing up she winked playfully before stretching her legs. I stared mouth dry, as she balanced her leg outstretched on the side of the bus. Her eyes remained on me the whole time.

Finishing her legs she turned and started heading behind her bus. Oh she knew what she was doing. I pulled my shirt off and over my head, I could play just as mean. I knew she loved watching my chest while we jogged. if I wasn't afraid of getting arrested, i'd have gone naked. Smirking I jogged to catch up to her.

It took us a good fifteen minutes just to reach the trail. All stretched and ready to go I set the pace, Knowing Miroku was still hung over I didn't want to be mean and make him keel over. I watched as he kept up. He had chosen to go shirtless, I guess a little pay back for my stretching show back there. I had troubles keeping my eyes off that well muscled chest. You could crack walnuts on those damn abs of his.

"If you keep staring you're bound to hit something or trip." He panted heavily, but managed to crack a smile through the effort.

Narrowing my eyes I started to speed up. I might not of had a good come back, but I knew how to get him back.

Panting an heaving he caught up. Eyes wide he looked at me shocked.

"Trying to kill me?"

"Done being a smart ass?"

"Ok...you win...slow it down "Laughing I slowed the pace back down.

looking over he was sweating profusely, he looked horrible. I felt bad. I had forgotten he was totally hung over still. He didn't even wanna come do this, he just agreed so he would be near me. I wasn't stupid. i knew that was his reasons.

Stopping completely I let him catch his breath. Hunched with his hands on his knees he breathed in and out quickly. "Thanks."

Looking around I spotted a bench, pulling his heavy weighted body up we limped out way over to sit, throwing him my water bottle I watched as he chugged it down. "You didn't have to come you know."

His eyes glanced at me as he shook his head. " I told you...I enjoy any chance I get."

"Well you shouldn't kill yourself in the process."

"I'm fine. Just still a little drunk."

Laughing I gently patted his leg. I'd cut him some slack. Plus we had other chances to run. "Today's your lucky day, no running. We can just relax till you catch your breath, then head back."

"I live to drum another day."

I chuckled. "Least for three more shows."

I watched as he stiffened. He realized how many tour dates we had left. Why did that seem to make him sad?

"I forgot were almost done the first half. We have a month break before we finish the last leg of the tour." His sounded small and sad. His eyes looked out, not really seeing anything just staring.

Not knowing how to make that look go away, I just asked."Why do you sound so sad about that? Usually bands love a break."

"Not when you have nothing to really go back to."

This wasn't a first hearing this. Miroku told me all about his family. he was literally all alone, he had no one but his band. He lost his parents in a car accident, an as a kid he went to live with a distant relative, who treated him poorly. The only good to come from that was meeting Inu-Yasha. Miroku practically live with Inu-Yasha growing up. Inu-Yasha was his family. I had assumed he'd be with him. Not wanting to be to nosy I let it go.

"I wish there was something I could do."

Sighing ,I watched as he slumped down on the bench. Scooting closer he hung his head on my shoulder. Smiling at his cuteness I let his head remain on me. Plus the view here was nice. I watched as his naked chest rose up and down. I watched as sweat beaded and ran down in slow lines. Shifting a little I adverted my eyes. Man did something to me.

"Sango?"

Looking down I saw his face was turned up watching me. Did he catch me staring again? "Hm?"

"What plans do you have once the tours over?"

"Besides a planned dinner with you?" Watching his face light up made me smile. "Nothing. I might just go home for a few weeks. Still have the last half of the tour to do after our break. Not like were really done. " I hoped that last bit cheered him up. He wouldn't be along for too long.

I was in the same boat as him. I didn't have a family, I had a brother, but he was away at school and I rarely got to see him. I spend my time off alone a lot.

He nodded. I watched as he licked his lips, eyes coming back to look at me he whispered gently. "Would you come with me to my beach house?"

I didn't move afraid any sudden movement will come across to him in a bad way. He just asked me to spend a month with him. I didn't know how to process that. I liked Miroku, I liked him a lot. Being with him a full month seemed exciting. I was just scared. I didn't know what to expect for a full month. Did he have weird habits? Did he do things a certain way? What if me being there disrupted everything and he resented me for it?

What if he saw my every flaw and decided I wasn't someone he really wanted to be around. I don't think I could do that, I invested enough emotions so far, if they got crushed I don't know what I'd do.

"It's fine Sango you don't have to." Taking my silence as a no, he stood up. Stretching his back he smiled. "Lets head back."

Standing I followed as we walked at a normal pace. My arms were crossed over my chest as I held my head down thinking. I wasn't able to tell him yes. I was afraid, I also felt like crap. I knew my not saying anything was hurting him. He really cared.

I didn't want him thinking I wasn't invested in all this. I had to suck my pride. I would do anything to make him happy. I pulled his arm so he faced me. I tried to think of what to say.

"You ok?" He looked down at me concerned, I must have let it show on my face. Running a hand through his hair he smiled that never reached his eyes. "Sango...it';s really ok.."

"No it's not."

"What?"

I bite my lip. How do I even go about this? "It's not that I don't want to Miroku. I'm just.."

"Just what? Sango talk to me." Nervously he laughed. His eyes were full of fear. What did he think I was going to say?

"I'm scared...I'm afraid your see me in a different view. I'm afraid a month alone and you will decide that I'm not what you expected and decide you can do better."

He stared at me. A genuine smile grew, " Sango. Just hush. You have no idea how much I am into you. I've been wanting you for a long ass time. Just trust me. Whatever little flaws you have are going to be fine. ok?"

"What if I told you I chewed my nails?"

"So what? I don't care, I clip my toes on the bathroom sink. Going to judge me?."

"Ok what if I told you I drink milk out of the carton?"

"I can tell you a million ways, on how I can get your germs." He held is arms out as if telling me to go on.

"I leave my clothes on the floor, I hate doing dishes, making the bed? Forget about it. I eat weird things that smell like feet, I like to run around in just my undies, I don't know how to cook, I like the way books smell, and I am afraid of bugs." It felt good to get that out.

Miroku shook his head. "Really?"

I nodded. "You need to know."

Taking a deep breath I watched as he came closer, bending down so we were eye level he still wore that smile. I wanted to wipe it off his face. Was he mocking me? I literally felt like I was going to fall to pieces. "I have a maid for the clothes, dishes are a fun activity for me, bed? pft we don't need to make it the messier the better, weird foods are the best, undies? really? Like you even needed to state that, I can cook I'm quit good at it, and I will smash any bug that comes near you."

"I have an obsession with cats."

"Oh no! Cat obsession! That's a deal breaker!"

I found myself laughing at his sarcasm, hitting him on the arm I shook my head. "You make me sound silly."

"Well. If you think those things will make me run, you are. Sango I meant it...I like you. I wanna do this."

Finding myself nodding, I agreed. I wanted to make this work. Whatever this was. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"Three more shows an then we hit the beach."

Eyes wide I was caught off by surprised when my feet left the ground. Miroku crushed me to his body and swung me around. Catching his break he crushed me to his chest once again. "Thank you."

Putting me down I melted at the excitement etched on his face. Taking his hand we didn't speak, we just walked back to the bus.

With her hand clasped in mine I felt like nothing could go wrong. She had agreed after these last few shows to go home with me. I should have her sign a contract so she couldn't bail on was just no explaining how I felt, my heart and soul were light.

Reaching the girl's bus the door flew open, Inu-Yasha and Kagome both walked out with one another. Kagome looked sad, at the sigh of us she turned red, turning she high tailed it back to the bus. Inu-Yasha just turned his head, refusing to make eye contact with any of us.

Hm. Weird, whats up with them. Looking at Sango for help she simple shrugged her shoulders. Well least I wasn't the only one lost.

"Hey guys. Just got a call mechanics on his way." Inu-Yasha took the last steps down the stairs. Spotting me and Sango's hands his brow raised. Looking at me he shook his head. Lovely, I could just feel he judgment radiating form him.

Not letting him even begin to ruin my day I continued walking. "Awesome we might actually make the next show."

Reaching out Inu-Yasha stopped me. "Wait up."

Great, I could only assume what this is going to be about. Turning to Sango I nodded at the bus. "I'll meet ya in a second." A worried look on her face she nodded and got out of dodge. Now it was just me and Inu-Yasha. I wasn't in the mood for this. Not today."Don't Inu-Yasha it's not..."

"We talked about this."

"Oh?"

"Yea. We all agreed not to get involved."

"More like you said and we had no choice." I felt myself growng angry. Who was he to decide anything? Me and Sango were adults. We could decide out lives for ourselves. I didn't need baby sitting.

"I'm doing whats good for the band, we've made enough messes." I watched Inu-Yasha's face. Something wasn't right. He wouldn't make eye contact with me. Narrowing my eyes I looked him in the face. "Whats wrong?"

"Nothing, why?" Still not meeting my eyes I knew he was hiding from me.

"We have been friends how long? Don't bullshit me."

He was silent, after a few seconds he looked up. "I fucked up. I know I made a mistake. This is why I'm trying to prevent you from the same."

The hell was he going on about? Then it hit me. His "Pleasure and business" crap, being gone this morning, walking out of Kagome's bus all guilty. This hypocritical prick. "You son of a bitch.."

"Whoa come on its not that bad..."

"Not that bad? You preach to us not to do what you did? You have the gall to tell em I can't freaking try with Sango? I'm not even sleeping with her! Are you even trying to be more then friends with Kagome?"

He remained silent. I found my self getting angrier. He was seriously doing this? "Really? wow, nice Inu-Yasha."

"You don't know what the fuck is going on."

"And you do? You don't know shit about me and Sango."

"No but I know you."

I stared at him. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Come on Miroku you know." He looked at me, face turning to amusement. "Really? You the one who sleeps with everyone? Trying a relationship? How long before you cheat on her?"

I felt my face fall. I can't believe he went there. I felt a piece inside me shatter. This man had been a brother to me. Did he really think so low of me? Shaking my head i backed up. "Thanks. nice to know what you really think about your best friend." I turned my back and walked towards Sango's bus.

Inu-Yasha's voice rang behind me. "Miroku...wait man I didn't.."

I stopped jabbing a finger in his direction. "Just shut it. You are not my father, don't you dare step into something you know nothing about. Leave it Inu."

"You have to think about this. You know I'm right. Don't do this, and fuck up and ruin everything we built! I won't let you."

Turning him out I hopped on the bus. . I didn't need this crap today. My heart had once been filled with joy, was now poisoned with hatred. How could a friend think so low of you.

I spotted Sango. She sat holding Kagome's hand in a corner, Looking up with concern she came to me "Miroku...whats?"

I cut her off, crushing her to my chest I felt tears sting my eyes. I wanted my friends, I wanted Sango. Why did I feel I wasn't going to have both. Holding onto Sango I fought back the tears and looked at her. "Mind if I catch a ride with you guys to the next show?"

Eyes darting to Kagome, Sango gently patted me. "Sure Miroku that's fine. What happened?"

Harshly laughing i sat down. " Probably my last show with Among the lost."

...

...

The repair guy had come an gone, I had remained in the bus. I didn't want to run across Inu-Yasha again. I just needed some time to cool off and be away from him. Kikyou was the last to appear on the bus, She looked horrible. Holding her hand up to silence any thing smart from my mouth, she made her way to the back of the bus.

"I am still drunk Miroku. I will shove a shoe down your throat."

I laughed as I watched her drag herself to her bed. Minutes later the girl's driver had appeared. I guess we were heading out. I sat at the table on their bus looking out the window. Sango sat next to me head rested on my shoulder.

She had remained quiet the whole time I was here. She knew I wasn't in the best of moods. I told her everything that had gone down. She had been just as angry as me. She was ready to ump off the bus and confront Inu-Yasha. I had convinced her to stay with me. It hadn't been easy. She was ready to tear him a new one for the way he treated Kagome and me. There was no point. I wanted things to calm down. Once we got to the next show I'd talk to him.

Looking over I saw Kagome sulking int he corner. I wasn't mad at her, I was sad for her. By the look on her face things had gone sour after her night with Inu-Yasha. Standing I walked over to her, sitting near her feet I laid a hand on her knee.

"How you holding up?"

Snorting she looked down at me, tears were forming in her eyes. "Peachy."

Nodding I laid my heads on her lap. "It's ok Kagome, you can take your anger out on my head."

Laughing she pushed me off, i was happy to see her laugh at least. Her eyes grew somber again."Thanks."

"If you don't mind me asking." Sitting up I looked her in the eyes. "What happened?"

Blowing out air she ran her hands through her hair. "He told me nothing would become of last night. Last night was just a one time thing. He said he was drunk and if he had been sober it wouldn't have happened."

Grabbing her hand I held it tight, giving her a reassuring smile I wanted to make her feel better. She meant a lot to Sango, and Sango had been a bit sad with the way Kagome was feeling. "Give him time. He's a dumb ass. I'm sure he will realize he made a mistake."

"I don't think it matters."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want him to realize he made a mistake.."She continued when I looked at her confused. " I don't want to have to convince someone I'm worth their time. They way he handled things...Anyways thank you Miroku. Don't worry about me I'll be ok."

Getting up I smiled sadly at her again, I felt bad for her. She was strong though if anyone could get over that crap it would be her.

walking away I stopped again as Kagome called my name. I turned , beckoning me close she whispered lower. "Please don't hurt her. ."

I looked into her eyes and still saw hurt. I'd throw myself in front of a bus before I even saw that look in Sango's eyes. i'd be sure to hurt Inu for this later. Nodding Taking her hand I kissed it. "Don't worry. I won't."

Rejoining Sango I placed her head back on my shoulder, continuing to stare back out the window. Shit was hitting the fan fast. One minute the band was good, and now? Now I don't know what the fuck was going on. I hoped after these alst few shows, and the break things could go back to mornal. If it didn't i don't know what I'd do. This band was everything. What does a drummer do when his band goes to shit?