By: Tamara on A03 - posted here with her permission.
Legolas and Jarvis meet, Darcy calls her parents to have that dreaded "So you heard I was in an accident; guess what, the Memorial's off!" conversation, and the lovebirds have their first argument.
Super short summary of the chapter-before-this-one: Bye, Thrandy! Helloooo New York! And then Leggy got his blood drawn and didn't even get a sucker like a good little elfling. Thanks to Lady Viola for RPing about 1/3rd of this chapter with me-TWICE. Thanks to KathySinister for reading it prior to me posting it. And thanks to BairnSidhe for plotting out this chapter with me. There's a couple of plot points we didn't plan on, but overall I'm pretty happy with it. I hope you guys are, too. And if you haven't been subscribed to the amusewithaview updates on that end of the soulmark universe, you're missing out. There's some seriously brilliant and fun stuff over there.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Legolas laughed at her, "Then I shall make all efforts to stay in your good graces, Darcy. I throw myself on your mercy."
"Do that." Darcy suggested he look around for a minute while she changed into her own typical clothes—a "Self-Rescuing Princess" t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and a different pair of Converse—and she stopped and gave herself a swipe of mascara and a coat of red lipstick. Middle Earth wouldn't know what hit them if I showed up in red lips and cat-eye eyeliner. Probably good for ol' Thrandy to have some excitement. Once she was done, she collected Legolas from the window through which he was viewing the city, and guided him into the kitchen. Being on the "Thor's People" floor rather than the main "Avengers Common Rooms" floor, the kitchen was smaller but still well-appointed and comfortable. She sat Legolas on a stool while she began bustling about the kitchen.
"Okay, Legolas-who-I-wish-I-could-nickname-but-won't. I'm going to introduce you to my friend Jarvis. Say 'hi' Jarvis."
"Hello, Ms. Lewis. How might I be of assistance?" asked Jarvis, politely and in the smooth tones of Tony's original childhood butler. Legolas looked around for the source of the voice, but he could see no man. His ears told him that the voice came from somewhere above the cabinets, but he could not pick out where the voice emanated from, as it came from throughout the room. A powerful but tiny wizard, or a cursed one, or perhaps he is a djinn caught in a lamp as the people of Harad believe…
"Legolas, Jarvis is a computer. He's basically a machine that Tony made, one that can think and react like a person. While I could argue that he possesses some variety of soul, the fact is that just like the lights can turn off and on here, so can Jarvis be turned on or off." She demonstrated with the manual touch-panel for the lights. Legolas felt a touch more apprehension and confusion.
"If I may, Ms. Darcy?" asked Jarvis.
"Go for it, Big J. Just don't break my elf."
"Mr. Legolas, sir, I am a butler, and unless someone with greater clearance than you has requested another function of me—and the only people with greater clearance than you are Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts—I am yours to command. I can adjust the temperature of the rooms, the music, the light. I can keep track of how well you sleep, how well you eat, how efficient you are. I can direct you to the nearest restaurant that serves your favorite food. I can advise you of the plays for which I can acquire tickets. I can keep track of your appointments. I do not possess a body, but I am available in all Stark buildings, on certain Stark-Industries provided handsets, and within certain Stark vehicles. Please feel free to command me however you see fit, sir."
Legolas boggled at this. Although, having good servants was a part of life, and if one could make a machine to act as a servant, then that would be much more convenient and less costly than training a servant. He could see how a machine could be a better choice. So a machine with a voice… he briefly wondered if Tony's parentage included some dwarven ancestry as the dwarrow were most clever with their machinery, but Darcy interrupted his musings.
"You okay with Jarvis, Legolas?" Darcy asked, picking his hands up from where they rested on his legs and running her thumbs over his knuckles. He nodded. "Then say 'Hi' to him."
"Greetings, Master Jarvis."
"You may call me Jarvis, sir."
"Thank you," said Legolas.
"You are welcome, sir," responded Jarvis, politely.
"Okay, well, now that we've got that done—Jarvis, I want you to play some Chopin for Legolas and I. Nothing too maudlin, though."
"Very good, ma'am." The sounds of the orchestra swelled around them. Legolas listened to the familiar-but-not sounds that emanated throughout the room. They were soothing to his strained conceptions of the possible.
Darcy began grabbing ingredients out of the pantry. Then, she collected the eggs and butter from the fridge and left them out on the counter. "We have to wait for the butter to soften, so, I need to call my parents and tell them I'm not dead. Jarvis, where's my phone?"
"I believe that Ms. Potts took it from Mr. Stark and asked Mr. Hogan to put it in your box." Darcy went back to the entrance hall, over to the mailbox array, scanned her thumb, and took out her mail. In addition to the lastest StarkPhone, she had several credit card bills, a letter from Sallie Mae about her student loans, and a letter from the Culver Alumni Association asking for more money. The mail she threw on the counter without opening, and then she looked at her phone.
"Okay, so this little box is another computer machine, like Jarvis. In fact, there's a mini-Jarvis on this one—but most phones don't have that. At any rate, my mom has one of these boxes too. So when I tell my phone to call her phone, I get to talk to her through it. We'll get you one of these soon, so that you can call me." Legolas's eyes widened. Communication over such distances… no messengers, no riders. How fantastic that one could speak over such great distances. Just think of the foreign trade implications, and how much better his espionage of Umbar would have gone, had he been able to contact Elessar. This Stark, he must truly be a master at his forge to have created such a device that would make speech over such a long distance viable. He must truly be deserving of his wealth, a veritable wizard among his people in actions if not in truth.
"It's kind of rude to have a guest and call someone else, though, so I'm really sorry. I'll try to keep it quick, though. You don't mind do you?" Darcy asked, slightly anxious that he might, in fact, be upset by her inattention. Legolas shook his head.
Legolas watched as Darcy touched her phone. An image popped up on it, and she held it up to her ear and walked to the other side of the room. Legolas heard one-half of the phone-box created conversation.
"Hi, Mom. Thought I'd call and tell you I'm not dead!" A pause, then: "No, I was just transported across the universe for a few days. They brought me back though. …. Yes. …. Yes that's possible. Hey, before we get into all that, I do have good news."
Another lengthy pause. "Huh. Okay, well, are Elizabeth and Bennet and Dad there? Okay, well grab Lizzie, then. What's Bennet doing? …. Really? …. I thought they broke up. …. Well there's no accounting for taste. Just hit the button that looks like a speaker, Mom. …. Okay do we have everyone assembled? Great, I'll tell you my good news. So, I can't tell you the specifics, but basically, I travelled across the galaxy and as a result of my lab accident, I met my soulmate."
Legolas heard a screeching noise from the phone, it hurt his ears. In fact, it hurt his teeth. His lips straightened out into a flat line, it was all he could do not to put his fingers in his ears like an elfling. Thankfully, the noise stopped.
"Right. Well he's only an alien when he's on Earth. Technically I was the alien when I was there. …. Yes, he's humanoid. …. Yes, he speaks English…. His name is Legolas. …. What did you expect from someone from another world? …. It says "A star shines on the hour of our meeting." …. I know, isn't that the best? You should hear him say it, too, it's wonderful. …. Oh he's dreamy, you'll just have to wait and see. …. They call it Middle Earth. …. Uh, kind of medieval society-wise, but they didn't seem too crazy-sexist when I was there. Yeah. And did I mention that he's a prince?"
Another squeal assaulted Legolas's ears.
"Yup. Yeah, his dad's a king. …. Not really, his dad's not super-nice…. No, just first impressions... No, his mom's not around. …. We've known each other like four days, we haven't talked about it yet. …. No, still "just Darcy" at present…." Darcy's tone grew sharp, "Elizabeth Jane, you just stop. …. Just—stop now…. You're putting the cart before the horse and I won't…. No, I will not allow her to 'have her fun', Mother. …. Yeah, well, I'll remember this when it's your turn, Lizzie."
Darcy sighed loudly and made the little talky sign with her hand, a sign Legolas had not seen since her first day or so on Middle Earth.
"Well, listen, I'm making cookies and I was just waiting for the butter to soften up and I'm sure it's about there by now. …. Of course I'm making Grandma Lewis's Super-Secret Chocolate Chip Cookies. This is my soulmate we're talking about here, you gotta throw out all the stops. The way to an el—err, anyone's— heart is through his stomach and all that…. Yes, he's here. …. No, not this time, I think you guys should meet in person before you talk on the phone…. Eh, maybe in a few weeks, I'll call you when my schedule opens up." Darcy rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Yeah. Yeah, well, I gotta go. Yeah. Yeah I love you, too. Okay, I'm getting off now. I love you. Okay, bye now." Darcy pulled the phone away from her ear and pressed something on the box.
"Phew, I'm glad that's over. Lizzie was really, really excited." Darcy sighed. "Family. Loads of fun." Darcy felt of the butter, and determined that it was not quite squishy enough for their purposes. She grabbed another stool and sat down.
"Who is Lizzie?" asked Legolas.
"Lizzie is my little sister—err, younger sister—she's actually the tall one in the family—that I think I mentioned at some point. She's three years younger than me and just got out of undergrad and she's just obsessed with finding her soulmate at this point. She's super jealous, I can tell. She always had the "good soulmark" and I always had the messed up one, sorry. But hers just says "Hello," while mine says "A star shines on the hour of our meeting," and so in that very short conversation the balance of power totally shifted in my favor!" Darcy gave a fist pump in the air.
"Bennet, on the other hand, is my elder brother. He's starting a residency in the fall so right now he's looking for an apartment in … I think it's Houston. Anyway, he's out on a date. Err, he's courting a young lady."
"Courting?" Legolas was most curious. "Are they matched, then, as we are?"
"Naah," said Darcy, turning the oven on to pre-heat. "He met his match in fourth grade and the family moved to Detroit, so he hasn't seen her or heard from her in like twenty years. When it's time, she'll pop up again. Maybe on Facebook or maybe she'll have moved to Houston when he gets there. But in the meantime, that doesn't mean he can't pursue other people."
Legolas looked at Darcy, concerned. "I don't understand, why would he pursue someone who is not his match?"
Darcy reached behind him for the butter and threw it into the mixer—"Because, Legolas, sometimes you just want a connection with another person. You don't have to be soulmates to be good for one another, or to fall in love or to have children with, marry, whatever." Because her back was turned, she couldn't see Legolas's horrified expression.
She continued, "Here's an example, and I'll need you to be discrete about this because it's not really my tale to tell, but Bruce? Dr. Banner that you met earlier? His parents were soulmates. Pretty sure his dad killed his mom by beating her to death. So, wouldn't it have been better if she had, oh, I dunno, taken the kids and found a nice guy who wasn't her soulmate but an actual decent human being?"
Legolas's heart was broken for Bruce. Very few elves were orphaned, and in the very long memories of elves, he could not think of a single instance where one parent had killed another, not even during the Kinslaying, ages before Legolas was born. He couldn't help but agree with Darcy, but such agreement made him feel…unclean, somehow.
"How terrible for him," said Legolas, sadly. "I cannot imagine such a fate." Darcy remained silent, and began measuring the flour and the sugar and the brown sugar when it occurred to her.
"So do you guys have sugar in Middle Earth?"
"Sugar?" Legolas cocked his head slightly, curious.
Darcy held out the bag of brown sugar, "Hold out your hand," and the poured a tiny amount into Legolas's palm. "It's very sweet, like candy."
Legolas's eyes lit up, and he brought his palm to his mouth, licking the sugar from it with his very pink, very wet tongue. Dear Legolas, let me introduce you to my friend "RediWip" and— Legolas grinned, pleased at the sweetness, "No, we have no such confection in Middle Earth, to my knowledge."
"Ahh, yeah, okay." Darcy stared at his mouth a moment longer and shook her head, as if to clear it, and then went back to measuring. Monkey bowls of measured ingredients began to litter the countertop. She dragged the mixer—black with red and yellow flames- over to the island and plugged it in. "Okay, so, here's how you make Grandma Lewis's Super-Secret Chocolate Cookies."
"First, you measure everything out and put the oven on to heat." He was happy to see that not everything was entirely different. Ovens here had many similarities to elvish ovens, albeit elvish ones were somewhat larger and usually located in a room far away from where persons not working there might be. The fuel source was evidentially different, as elves used wood and he saw no such wood pile in his visits here. Darcy nattered on about the various ingredients as she threw them into the mixer, which held Legolas's attention.
"Another machine, this one for …stirring?"
Darcy nodded, keeping up a stream of conversation "Got it in one, Legolas. Good job." She added the dry ingredients, naming them off, and then grabbed a vial from the counter, "And, of course, the secret ingredient."
As he was sitting on the stool, they were the same height, conveniently. Darcy leaned toward Legolas. "Come closer" she whispered, "it's a secret." Legolas leaned in, and Darcy pressed the jar into his hand. She stepped closer to him, canting her head along the line of his jaw, so close he felt her breath along his cheek. "The secret ingredient," she whispered into the shell of his ear, causing gooseflesh to erupt on his arms, "is cinnamon." Her nose nuzzled his ear—surely an accident, he thought. But, oh, what an accident. He unconsciously leaned into her caress, his eyes closed. Darcy ghosted an open-mouthed caress over his earlobe, his jawline, the very edge of his mouth, a phantom kiss. And no accident, he thought, despite its evanescence. She released him, smiling as he opened his eyes.
They looked at each other a moment, silent. Then she seized the cinnamon his hand and turned, throwing a dash in. Then, she grabbed a couple of cookie sheets and started divvying up the batter with a small ice cream scoop. Once she had one loaded, she put it in the oven, disconnected the beater, and came back over to Legolas. "Jarvis, let me know when they're done, okay?"
"Yes, Ms. Lewis."
"The dough is totally my favorite part of cookie-making," Darcy leaned against the counter across from Legolas. She swiped a finger down the edge of the beater and put her finger in her mouth, sucking the sweet dough from her finger and offering the beater to Legolas. "Try some." Legolas carefully took the beater from her. "You can either eat it with your fingers or you can just put the beater in your mouth like a fork," she said. Slowly, cautiously, Legolas brought the dough-laden beater to his mouth, carefully eating some dough. He moved the dough around in his mouth, chewed the chocolate chips, and then, just as carefully repeated the procedure. There was not one crumb or smear of dough on him; he remained impeccably clean. Elves.
She had planned this little encounter with the idea that she'd push the envelope further than she had just a moment ago, and bite the beater at the same time as him or brush imaginary batter from his mouth or …something to get the ball rolling. But watching his careful enjoyment of the dough, and his obvious pleasure at her prior caress…and considering his lack of "envelope pushing" on his end—she was a bit conflicted. She was reminded of Thor's words. "Some elvish courtships have taken decades…Legolas is quite forward among his people…." Sighing, she decided to back off for the moment. Really, she was just happy to be around him, letting him experience her whole world in his way. A few days either way…well, what did it all matter? She could be patient…it wasn't her strong suit…or even her medium suit, but… it'd do.
"The cookies should be done, ma'am." said Jarvis.
"Thanks Big J." Darcy took them off the cookie sheet and put them on a rack to cook, and then dolloped out another set of cookies. "So what do you think about the dough?"
"It is odd. It is both very sweet and somewhat bitter. And then the texture is of a liquid in part and a solid in part." said Legolas, contemplatively.
"Well, I will trade you that beater for this cookie," said Darcy, handing him a very warm cookie and throwing the beater into the sink. "Do you drink milk? Few things go as well with a warm cookie as a glass of milk." Darcy reached into the fridge and grabbed the milk jug and poured a couple of glasses.
Legolas accepted the milk—that had an odd, thin texture, and it was very cold—and promptly put it down, forcing himself to swallow. He took a bite of cookie, and found that he enjoyed the melty sensation and the sweetness of what had been the dough. He made a small sound of approval.
"Ahh, you like cookies, then?" Darcy beamed at him, and Legolas nodded, his mouth full.
Once he swallowed his bite, he asked, "From what animal does this milk come?"
Jarvis piped up, "It comes from a dairy cow, sir. It might be strange to you due to that it has had all the buttermilk removed, and quite a bit of the fat as well." Legolas nodded, and then felt odd about nodding to the disembodied voice.
"I understand. Most of our milk comes from goats. In Rohan, they drink horse's milk." He grimaced, slightly. "I think this cows' milk may be an acquired taste. May I have some water, please?"
Jarvis piped up, "The cookies should be done, Ms. Lewis."
Darcy took the cookies out of the oven, and grabbed a glass. "Do you want ice?" she asked.
"Ice?"
"We usually drink our water iced," she explained. Where did she get ice in the middle of summer?
"From whence does this ice come?"
"Uhh, you remember the fridge, right, it's a machine that keeps things chilled. Well, there's a freezer, and that keeps stuff frozen. So we invented "ice makers" a few years back and now there's ice all year round." Legolas's composure was wearing thin. Rainbow bridges, vials of blood, disembodied voices, cow's milk and now ice all year round, not to mention Darcy's …torment of him. His courtship was certainly unlike he had ever imagined it to be.
"Then, please, may I have some ice, too?" asked Legolas, feeling oddly wasteful in a world of plenty.
Darcy went to the fridge and, pressing the various buttons, made him a glass of ice water. "When you want more water, just hit this button with the water drop on it, and push the glass against this little black thing here, and more water will come out this tiny spigot, here." She gestured. Legolas drank the glass of water. Then, he pushed his glass against the panel, and water poured into his glass. He drank that glass, too, and finished off his cookie.
"Well, I'm glad you're enjoying the filtered water we have here in Stark Tower." Darcy smiled at him, and then began to clean up a bit, putting the cookies in a plastic container and washing the beater and the bowl. When the final batch was done, she let them cool only briefly before putting them in the container.
"Let's go get you settled into your room before…an early-ish dinner." She walked back to the Thor-level common room, then went down one of several hallways that came off of it. "Okay, you're directly across from me. Thor and Jane are down the hall on the other side of the common room." Legolas nodded. Darcy opened Legolas's door. "Normally I'd knock, but it's important to show you around a bit first. Standard bedroom furniture, and this is your closet if you want to hang anything up." She said, opening a door on the side. "You guys had armoires back in Middle Earth. This works the same way, though."
She opened another door and stepped in. "This is your bathroom; if you're in public they're called restrooms." She went to the sink, "Just like in the kitchen, there's a spigot here, and these taps turn on the hot or cold water."
She went over to a large garden tub in one corner, "And this is the bathtub if you'd prefer to bathe. When we get to the Cabin, I'll show you what these," she gestured at the jets along the side, "do. But I think that can wait." Turning, she walked over to where a shower ran along the wall—it was the type that had no shower curtain because the walls of the entire room were tiled. Probably a bitch to clean—but someone else's problem.
"Now if you prefer to shower instead of bathe—and if you've never showered, it's pretty awesome and you should try it—this is the same kind of setup, just turn the tap on, and water comes out like a …waterfall … from there" she pointed. "If you turn this tap, too, it also comes out from over there," she pointed again.
She walked over to a door imbedded in the wall, "This is your water closet, or your toilet or your commode or however you want to put it. You basically use this like you would the…outhouse or the bush or the chamber pot or whatever, taking care not to get anything on the seat or on the floor." She gave him a slightly evil eye on behalf of women everywhere, then continued. "Then when you're done, you hit this button on top here, and the …excrement or whatever, it gets flushed away. See?" Darcy flushed the toilet. "Any questions?" Legolas shook his head. "You can always ask Jarvis, too."
"One last door to look through and then I'm going to go force Jane to eat." She opened the door to the closet. "This is where the extra blankets are kept, as well as washcloths, towels, soap, shampoo, and conditioner and so on. If you have any questions about how to use any of it, let me know, or just ask Jarvis."
"You got it?" she asked him, walking back into his bedroom and turning toward him.
"Yes. It is much to understand, but…" he smiled softly, trailing off. "It is nice to have something to learn. And it is wonderful to be in your company."
"You want to come down and help me harass Jane and Bruce and Tony into eating something?" she asked. "Or you can go work out…err, train, rather… with Thor, he's probably in the gym-slash-training area. Or you could stay here a while and just sort of rest. It's been a big day for you."
Legolas considered the options. "Perhaps we could invite Thor as well and train after the meal?"
"Sure thing!"
The pair set off, headed back to the R&D floor. Darcy grabbed the cookies on the way out, and Legolas fetched his bow and arrows, leaving his long knives behind. The three science nerds were working hard, as per usual.
"Okay you guys," Darcy said, interrupting them. "When's the last time you guys ate?"
Jane responded blearily, "What time is it?"
"Quarter after five, Jane."
"A.M. or P.M.?"
"Wrong answer! Put the science down and let's get you a green vegetable and some fruit and maybe some chicken…" she started ushering Jane into a chair. "What about you, Brucey-poo?"
"Sandwich and an apple at noon, Darce."
"Aww, you're always on top of things. I'm proud." Darcy turned to the final member of the science cadre, bracing both her hands on Tony's desk and leaning over. Her chest caught his gaze and he did a double-take.
"Hey, that's false advertising, Lewis." Tony's eyes were still fastened on Darcy's chest. She looked down at her t-shirt just as he began to speak again. "You are not a self-rescuing princess! You're a Thor-rescued peasant!"
Just as Darcy opened her mouth to respond, Legolas stepped forward and spoke up, his voice ringing with authority. "It smacks of the deepest hypocrisy that you should accuse her of some low birth when you have not yet made any claim to some great lineage yourself," Legolas glared at Tony, every inch the Prince of the Greenwood at the moment. His posture rigid, his eyes cold, his speech clipped. "The circumstances of her humble birth aside, she is the soulmate of a prince, and her bloodline is to be considered royal as it indeed will be when she becomes my wife." Wife? What? Dude. Marriage? Are you freakin' kidding me? thought Darcy. And to think I fussed at Lizzie for this kind of talk. "and as such I expect you to treat her with the respect she deserves, both as your friend and as my mate. Your impertinent and salacious gaze upon the form of my intended offends my lady's honor, and such poor behavior necessitates an apology on your part."
Darcy colored a bright tomato shade that not even Jane had witnessed before. "Uh, excuse us." She pulled Legolas along behind her to the exit.
"What was that?"
"That man insulted your birth, after he regarded you most inappropriately, and as the person most highborn in the room, I felt it was my duty to prevent a man whose situation will never change from impugning upon yours, whose situation will change very soon."
"Okay, what Tony said was a joke, and it is not okay to assume that we're getting married or whatever anytime that could be described as "very soon"." Darcy made little air quotation marks and then realized that he had no idea what the gesture meant.
"I did not hear anyone laugh," he replied, icily. "And as to my assumptions, we are a mated pair. Is it not true here, as it is in Middle Earth, that most pairs marry?"
Darcy threw her hands up, frustrated. "Not every pair marries! And, it was sarcasm, Legolas. And even though it wasn't a great joke, he was trying to be funny."
"It was not amusing. And the fact remains that his gaze lingered upon your form in an inappropriate manner. And until such time as it becomes apparent that we shall not wed, it is reasonable to assume that we will."
"Whoa, dude. I don't even know what to do with that." Darcy put her hands on her hips and stared at the ceiling for a minute. "…Look, you let me worry about Tony. Tony is harmless. If I had been offended, I would have put him in his place."
"That would have been most unsuitable," Legolas frowned. "It is not that I think you incompetent. It is that a female should not be left without one to defend her."
"Whoa, dude, back off on the machismo! Women and men are equals, homeslice. And you have absolutely no right to "defend" me when I don't see any reason for that defense!"
"Darcy, as your soulmate I do have a right to defend your honor from attack. I should expect no less of you, should some Midgardian maid perform a comparable ill-advised deed."
"But I don't need your help, Legolas. I'm a grown woman, I've been taking care of snarky men and handsy men and skeezy professors and bad bosses and on and on since I was about fourteen years old! I can handle it." Darcy sighed and tried really, really hard to see things from his angle. "Look, you don't like dudes checking me out—that's legit. But you can't fight with them because 1, I'm totally hot and 2, as a result they're going to check me out. 3, if you fought with everyone who checked me out in this city, we wouldn't make it three blocks without some kind of murderdeathkill. So you're just going to have to accept that Regular Earth is a lot different than Middle Earth."
Legolas sniffed delicately. "It is apparent."
"And for marrying—you can think that in your head, but you can't tell people that, as in, not even me, because I am not even remotely close to that level of commitment and if you talk like that you'll come off really weird here—err, people will think you are strange." Like the biggest dang creeper in the history of Regular Earth, dude. Four days. I've known you like FOUR days. Legolas's eyes widened. He had not considered that there were different soulmate customs on Midgard, and to hear that he might be doing a poor job of things upset him.
Darcy sighed. "So here's what needs to happen. You need to go back in there. I'll tell Tony that he needs to apologize for not keeping his eyes on my face. You're going to apologize for misunderstanding his princess-peasant joke. Then everyone's happy. After that, we're going to have a nice supper and then we'll head to bed early." Had I known he was going to be this cranky, we'd have taken a sensory-deprivation time-out before coming down here. "Are you down with the plan, Legolas?"
"So long as the Master Stark's apology is sincere, I see no need not to put this behind us."
"Okay then." Darcy pushed her hair out of her face. "I think we just had our first fi—err, argument—Legolas."
"It is not an experience that I hope to repeat, but I understand that this is unlikely," he said, softly.
Darcy decided that Legolas was probably a touch overstimulated, and thus she wouldn't introduce him to the concept of "kiss and make up" as of yet. They walked back into the R&D room. Two of three scientists wouldn't look at Darcy, while the third was wearing a smirk. Suddenly suspicious, Darcy said, "Jarvy, tell me you didn't just record everything from next door and play it back in here."
Tony spoke up before Jarvis began speaking, "—Lew-Lew, there's no reason to be paranoid. It's not like we couldn't hear you through the glass anyway. Jarvis was just making sure that we didn't misunderstand anything. And let me just go ahead and speed things along by saying that I apologize for my, I believe it was 'impertinent and salacious' gaze—and I admit that it was dumb with your boyfriend in the room. Old habits, et cetera. And I think Blonde Ambition—rather, our elfy friend here has something to say, too?" Tony grinned, clearly enjoying the situation and, of course, not being quite as sincere as Legolas wanted. He looked at Legolas pointedly.
"I regret misunderstanding your attempt at humor." Legolas spoke, stiffly.
Tony smirked, savoring the moment. "Let's eat."
Notes: I just want to thank you guys for reading all that. I think chapters are going to be longer from here on out, because it's really hard to write from Legolas's perspective without being super longwinded... He's like an anthropologist from Middle Earth, studying our world at this point. And I'm pretty sure I referenced at least two LOTR fanfictions in that chapter, (the Legolas espionage one and the Harad legend thing) so if you know to whom the original idea belongs, I'll be happy to put a little credit here. I hope you enjoyed it; I hope you'll let me know what you think of it. Next chapter is-Dinner, Tech talk, Leggy discovers cars, they go to the cabin, they meet other people. Also, do you think the ship name should be "Darcolas" or "Legocy?" Eh? Ehhhhh?