Here is another chapter! I hope you guys like it.
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"Are you tired now Budgel?" Fili asked looking down at the dark haired girl who stood panting slightly after an especially long set of stairs.
"Not funny, Fili." Sirena seethed between gasping breathes. Her hands on her knees, urging her lungs to accept more oxygen. "How much is left?"
"Budgel, we have barely scratched all that is Erebor. I'm afraid though that we should be done for the day." Fili chuckled lightly.
"No!" Sirena exclaimed snapping up. "I'm alright."
Fili laughed lightly at the girl who seemed to be unable to catch her breathe. "Perhaps, we should stop for the day. Dinner is soon anyways and I am certain that you would wish to return to your room to change."
Sirena looked up at Fili, her head tilted in thought. They had travelled through the halls, Fili pointing out wings and other mines along with additional forges. Why the dwarves needed so many she would never know, though she refrained from questioning aloud her thoughts. She had hoped that they would stumble upon a library or two. She had a passion for reading in her world and hoped that the dwarves had works written in the common tongue. Her other option was to simply learn the dwarvish language, but she knew that would be no small task. "I suppose you are right, though you are often enough."
Fili smiled brightly down at his one, grabbing her arm in his and leading her down yet another obscure corridor. "It comes with age. Though you won't find me arguing with my Uncle often, or Mahal forbid my mother. She is always right!"
"I'm certain that she is wrong sometimes." Sirena assured, though she didn't truly believe it herself. Dis, seemed to be a formidable she-dwarf.
"No, lass she is hardly ever wrong. She keeps a much more even head which allows her to see the faults that many another refuse to see." Dwalin said from behind them. Fili nodded his head in agreement.
"I am certainly glad that you are going to be with me from now on Dwalin, without you or Fili I fear that I will get lost in this place." Sirena commented after turning a corner which looked similar enough to another corner they had just turned, which had looked similar to the one before that.
"Dwarves have a natural sense of direction in a mountain Lass." Dwalin conceded. "Though given time you will learn the paths."
"Yes, I suppose I will, though I am glad for your presence regardless." Sirena responded.
"We are here Budgel." Fili stated. Sirena looked up and Fili had indeed been correct, in front of her stood her stone door, the runes upon it familiar.
"I thank you for the tour Fili. Perhaps we can continue it some other time?" Sirena questioned turning to look up at the blue eyes that both ignited a flame in her and soothed her worries. Neither noticed Dwalin step back into the shadows, to give them some privacy.
"I would be delighted." Fili said softly reaching his hand up to brush aside some of Sirena's dark tresses, his thumb pausing on her cheek. "Kana banmûna." He whispered softly.
"Fili?" Sirena questioned softly feeling the atmosphere change slightly.
As if startled from a dream Fili shook his head, leaning back slightly. Sirena had not even realized they had leaned toward one another. "Forgive me Budgel, it seems I was lost."
"Lost?" Sirena inquired reaching one hand up to hold Fili's hand against her cheek as he began to pull it away
"Yes, Budgel. It seems that I will always feel as if in a dream around you." Fili murmured smiling gently at their joined hands.
"I know the feeling." Sirena muttered feeling Fili's breathe ghost on her lips. Fili had not kissed her since the battle, both unsure of where they stood.
"Can I kiss you Budgel?" Fili asked. His eyes danced with life as they gazed down at Sirena's.
"Oh yes." Sirena breathed before she felt her breath leave her as Fili's lips descended on hers. His lips were softer than Sirena remembered, his beard and moustache rougher as it rubbed against her face. Letting out a gasp, Sirena released the hand holding Fili's forgoing both to his tunic where she gripped the fabric tightly. A low moan left Fili's lips, alighting Sirena. The kiss, which started as a chaste one quickly became heated, neither willing to end it as they gripped at each other heatedly.
Fili was the one to end it as he pulled back, his breathing sporadic. "Until dinner Budgel." He stated placing a chaste kiss on her knuckles turning away quickly.
Sirena was too stunned to move, though when her senses came back Fili was already down the corridor. Reigning in the urge to demand he come back to kiss her more, Sirena quickly entered her room. Leaning against the door, she placed her hand on her chest. Her heart beat slowed. Mahal, she said she needed more time but if he continued to kiss her like that she may just-no. Sirena shook her head quickly changing from the more traveling like dress she was wearing to something more formal for dinner. On the first day Balin was the one who sat Tauriel and her down explaining what they were to wear for each occasion. Tauriel took it all in strides, nodding her head and asking questions while Sirena sat there gob smacked. Never had she needed to change clothes so many times, or had such rules for dress.
Quickly changing she opened her door to see Dwalin already standing by the frame awaiting her arrival. Raising her brow at his swiftness she followed as he walked her to the room the company ate in, that was one path she knew. "Dwalin?"
"Yes Uzbadnâtha." Dwalin allowed glancing sideways as the girl who already began to have color return to her cheeks.
"Nothing." Sirena said shaking her head with a smile.
Frowning Dwalin stopped, he would not allow her to stir in her own emotions again. "Whatever you have to say, say it."
Ignoring the gruffness of his tone, as simply Dwalin, Sirena continued. "Is that normal?"
"Is what normal Uzbadnâtha?"
"The you know—" Sirena trailed off her face flushing.
"The what?" Dwalin questioned truly unsure of what she was asking.
"The heat." Sirena continued blushing profusely.
"Ah." Dwalin said suddenly uncomfortable. Mahal, he wished he could turn back time sometimes. Clearing his throat he spoke. "I am not certain Uzbadnâtha."
Sirena visibly wilted. She had hoped that one of her reactions was finally seeming normal to what was supposed to happen. "Oh."
"Perhaps it is." Dwalin quickly said. "After all with certain feelings come certain—" Dwalin cut off thoroughly uncomfortable, Mahal how did he get roped into such things. "–urges."
Giggling Sirena began to walk again, her face bright red. She heard Dwalin catch up to her quickly, both deciding that the conversation was ended. Though Sirena found herself satisfied with the answer. Yes it made sense. She had some feelings for Fili though they certainly were not as deep as his own were and they were beginning to manifest themselves. That was certainly something.
"Ah Budgel, we were wondering when you would arrive." Fili said happily from his seat as Dwalin opened the door. Sirena bit back her retort that it was his fault they took so long as she needed time to properly calm herself.
"Did you start eating without us?" Sirena called back teasingly. Fili chuckled pulling her chair out for her before pushing it in. None of the company commented on their change in attitude, choosing instead to bless Mahal for it. Sirena turned to ask Tauriel something before she saw hands in front of her. Fili was quickly placing food on her plate. Of course he had noticed her lack of appetite.
Sirena looked down at her plate with a raised brow before turning to Fili who was already eating his own food, his ears red. Leaning over she placed a quick kiss on his cheek. Sirena quickly began to eat feeling her own face flush.
"Uzbadnâtha?" A voice called out uncertainly. Looking up Sirena met Bofur's smiling face, a knowing twinkle in their green depths.
"Yes Bofur." Sirena replied ignoring the other looks the company was sending her. Had she truly been so distant before? The answer was in their eyes, yes.
"Nothing." The oddly-hatted dwarf said after a moment of thought.
"I heard you had a tour today." Balin commented from his place.
"Yes I did." Sirena replied softly gazing at Fili for a moment before turning her attention back to the dwarves in front of her.
"Did you enjoy yourself?" Thorin asked from the head. This was the first time Sirena could recall hearing him talk at dinner, often her sat leaning back smiling at the company as they talked animatedly.
"I did." Sirena answered again. "Fili showed me many of the mines and forges. I hope to continue our tour another day."
Thorin nodded his head in acknowledgement, his unasked question also answered.
"Speaking of forges." Dori pipped up turning to give Dwalin a meaningful look. The burly dwarf quickly swallowed his food.
"Thorin." He called out. "It seems our Uzbadnâtha has come up with an intriguing idea."
Thorin motioned for him to continue.
"Uzbadnâtha proposed that make a silent guard. Separate from the royal guard or even the army. They are to gather information to live in the shadows. There will be many who wish to take advantage of your new role and—perhaps you would like to explain better." Dwalin said looking over at Sirena encouragingly.
All eyes turned to the girl who hardly spoke during their dinners curiously. Blushing Sirena blinked unsure before nodding her head. "Right. Well Dwalin spoke the gist of it. There would be another group of dwarves, a smaller number than the royal guard. Only they and the few privileged would know their true purpose, they would work in the shadows as Dwalin put. Gathering information from sources who would never admit the truth to dwarves like Dwalin. They could have weekly meetings with the Dwalin who is the head of the royal guard. Information and concerns would pass between the two. Dwalin could point out any persons he worries about and the others could state what they have found. Once enough information had been assembled I figured Dwalin could act, or the others could take care of it from the shadows."
Thorin sat back in his chair contemplating Sirena's idea. It was an interesting one, a very useful one. He himself had the concern, for truly no sane creature would admit to Dwalin or another royal guard if they had any ulterior motives. While to dwarves who seemed unimportant, or dare he say shady, they might.
"I also thought." Sirena began pulling Thorin from his thoughts. "That Nori could be the head." All eyes suddenly swiveled to the thieving dwarf. "As I told him before, he sees things and hears things that many others don't. He may have a tendency to borrow and not return—" Sirena mentioned wryly looking over to Thorin who continued to watch on with a blank face. "—but he never seems surprised by occurrences, in fact he usually acts as if they were something that he had been expecting for quite some time."
Nori finally spoke up after a moment of silence. "I have spoken with Dwalin on this. If you would allow me this, I swear to never steal again."
Nodding his head Thorin finally spoke. "Yes, the idea is encouraging to say the least. Dwalin, Nori speak and figure out the details. I approve of the making of such a guard. Nori when dwarves begin to trickle in you will be in charge of finding candidates. They will have to go through a strict questioning before they are to be fully considered."
Nori nodded his head in acceptance. A cheer went up through the table, Dori pounding his younger brother on the back happily. "Good for you brother!"
"Does this mean you will be staying in Erebor?" Ori's meek voice questioned softly.
"Yes, Naddith I will be." Nori responded smiling lightly.
Sirena looked over to see Tauriel looking thoughtful at the group. "Tauriel?" She questioned softly the others too caught in their own conversations to hear.
Green eyes flickered to her own before answering. "Yes Sirena?"
"What do you think?" Sirena questioned watching Tauriel curiously.
"It is a grand idea." Tauriel agreed smiling brightly at the girl who was beginning to grow.
"I thought you might also be able to be a part of it with Nori." Sirena said softly, the conversation at the table quickly quieting. "Not officially like Nori and the others he would recruit but it seems that people are always underestimating your hearing and I figured that you would be able to hear many things in your travels."
"Travels?" Tauriel inquired curiously.
Blushing Sirena glanced at the others before answering. "Forgive me, I thought that you would be one like a dignitary of sorts between the dwarves and elves."
"Dignitary?" Kili asked from beside Tauriel.
"Oh." Sirena reddened further. "I suppose you don't have those. You would be mainly in charge of the messages and the likes shared between the elves and dwarves. A soother for times when tempers run high and someone who helps to explain in case of language barriers or cultural differences."
"Hmmm." Balin began thoughtfully. "A fascinating idea, we have had so little contact with creatures other than dwarves that we have had little thought for the need of such a person. But Erebor was never like that, it drew humans and elves alike. I do believe a dignitary would be good." Turning to Thorin Balin continued. "Tauriel would be good for such a job, she had lived amongst the elves. She knows how they work socially and she will be a princess of Erebor so surely no dwarf, man, or elf could comment she is unimportant."
Thorin nodded his head. "It would also lessen many a headache and perhaps even organize things a bit."
Tauriel looked up at Thorin unsure before smiling at him happily when he nodded his head in acceptance toward her. Turning quickly to Kili the two began to speak, Tauriel shooting Sirena a happy glance.
It was in that moment that Sirena truly felt horrible for her actions toward Tauriel of late. She had been so wrapped up in her own feelings that she had not realized Tauriel was most likely feeling similar things. True she felt more at place in the company than Sirena did but she probably felt the same thing Sirena was finally able to place. It wasn't just loneliness and isolation Sirena felt, it was a lack of purpose. In her world she was in school working toward something yet in this world she had no purpose other than being Fili's wife and their children's' mother. A job though meaningful in its own right, not something that she had hoped for herself and she found herself longing for a reason in Erebor. To be of use and to help, to be needed. Tauriel now had such a purpose and Sirena could see the happiness in the elf's eyes as she teased Kili.
"Any more ideas for us Lass?" Gloin teased lightly from his place. Sirena immediately blushed indicating that, yes, she did indeed have another idea.
"Budgel?" Fili encouraged lightly, happy to see Sirena smiling.
"Well it's nothing like the other two, though I didn't realize the last was an idea." Sirena stated simply mumbling the last bit. Looking around and seeing only eyes full of open-minds and willing ears she continued. "When I was in the forge with Fili and Kili I saw a bunch of unfinished swords and the likes."
"Ah yes, it was a normal working day when Smaug attacked." Thorin conceded. Fili's one, he admitted had a very interesting point of view with a good many ideas.
"When I asked what would happen Dori said they would be melted down to be reused." Sirena continued.
"Yes."
"What if we make a museum and place some of the things in it. We could also put in any burned tapestry or destroyed objects." Sirena looked at Ori curious. "When Fili was showing me Erebor I noticed there were plenty of rooms that could easily hold such objects, Ori would probably be best suited to set things up. It would open for all to see, dwarves, men, and elves alike. They could easily enter and look around to remember what their ancestors went through and to learn from it."
Sirena looked around before continuing. "We could have little explanations in front of all the things on display."
"I agree that a place such as that to remember and learn would be good but Ori is busy enough with his work going through the archives." Thorin stated, his voice commanding the attention of the group. "No, Uzbadnâtha why don't you do it. You know the most about this muse-ze-um and could easily set up such a thing."
"But I do not know the importance of man an item." Sirena argued.
"Balin will help you but that may be best. Perhaps looking at things through your eyes will find the most meaningful objects to put there." Thorin said sternly. "After all it was the simplest things of our lives that we lost that day."
"It would be my honor Uzbadnâtha to help you." Balin supplied smiling gently at the girl who blinked unsurely at him.
"Then I suppose I will have to place myself in your capable hands Balin." Sirena mused.
"Quite the ubdag aren't we Uzbadnâtha." Bofur teased. The table paused for a moment before the dwarves threw their heads back in laughter. Tauriel and Sirena affectively lost.
"Fili what is so funny?" Sirena asked after the group had quieted down some.
"Forgive me Budgel, I always forget you do not speak our language—"
"That will be remedied, when you are with Balin Uzbadnâtha he will help you learn. If he is busy Fili or Dwalin would be able to teach you." Thorin interrupted.
"Any of us could teach her." Kili stated.
"Aye, but those three will be around her the most and she will need consistency." Thorin answered quickly before looking over Tauriel thoughtfully. "You do not know our language do you?"
"No." Tauriel answered shaking her head not daring to hope. Sirena was one thing, a human from another world but she was an elf!
"That will also have to be remedied. I suppose Kili and Balin will be around you the most." Thorin stated nodding his head at the two dwarves
"Thorin if Balin is always with us who will help you?" Sirena asked curiously. "You are King but Balin is your main advisor is he not, especially now rebuilding, will you not need him?"
"That is true." Thorin said thoughtfully. "When Balin will be with Tauriel he will be with me. Besides I will have Fili and Kili so I would not worry." He quickly soothed.
Sirena nodded her head in acceptance. "Fili you never told me what you laughed at."
"Forgive me Budgel. Bofur called you an ubdag, a dreamer. Your head is full of dreams for the future, of ideas." Fili answered. "It is simply ironic since we met through your dreams, when you were sure that I was a dream."
"Ha!" Kili suddenly laughed out. "That is what you are then, you are our Ibdêg Uzbadnâtha, our dreaming princess. Our princess full of ideas."
"Ideas and hope for the future." Fili agreed pulling Sirena's hand from her lap to place a chaste kiss on her knuckles. Though Sirena should have remembered that hardly anything stayed chaste between the two. A heat found its way into her body, when she felt his moustache brush roughly against her skin.
Dwalin quickly cleared his throat when he saw the heated glances shared between the two. "Right, well let's eat!"
The others readily complied, though they did send occasional glances at the two who sat oblivious to all others.
…
"Are you certain you do not mind walking me back to my room?" Sirena questioned curiously as Fili gripped her arm in his.
"It is my pleasure Budgel." Fili said softly. "I am just happy that you are opening to us."
"Oh." Sirena muttered blushing. "You noticed, of course you did."
"Yes, I did." Fili confirmed frowning slightly. "But I was lost, I did not know how to help you. To make your worries cease and most of all to make you smile. I missed it—your smile. These past weeks have been hard without it."
"Fili." Sirena whispered sadly. Dwalin had stayed to speak with Thorin and Balin, Fili assuring that he was taking her to her room. The arm holding Sirena's tightened slightly.
"I did not know what to do. Every attempt I made to make you smile either made you worse or your smile never reached your eyes." Fili spoke lost in thought.
"I know." Sirena stated sadly. "I was lost too and I needed time but I didn't think I had it—I. Fili can we go somewhere."
"Where do you wish to go Budgel?" Fili immediately asked ready to take her to any place her heart so desired.
"Anywhere, as long as we can speak privately." Sirena replied knowing that they could easily do that in her room, but she felt as if she needed a change of scenery.
Fili as if sensing her need, turned leading her through corridors and halls that seemed endless. Sirena followed silently watching as Fili frowned in thought before coming to a decision. They found themselves in the entrance of Erebor standing on one of the many bridges that connected the kingdom together. "Is this fine?"
Sirena looked around frowning. Of all the places she thought he would take her this was not it. "Yes, but—"
"Why here?" Fili interrupted simply. At Sirena's nod he smiled explaining. "This was where we met for the first time in Erebor. This was the bridge that you were crossing when I ran across to you. This was our beginning."
The couple sat down on the bridge, Sirena's glance going to the dwarves on duty. Many of Dain's men decided to stay in Erebor, as they were originally from here. They sent messages back for their families to join them. "I remember, Dwalin looked like he was going to cut my head off."
"I think he was tempted. We were all on our last nerves." Fili agreed remembering the burly dwarf as he had passed him. "What did you want to say Budgel?"
"I wanted to explain myself. Bard told me that I best tell you everything so you could understand why I acted as I did and why I have been so distant." Sirena said.
"Bard? What was he doing here?" Fili questioned curiously.
"It doesn't really matter I suppose." Sirena commented turning so they were facing each other, their legs dangling off of the bridge. "When the battle was over and repairs started I realized Fili—I don't love you. I care for you greatly and I know I will love you someday but I don't right now."
"I know Budgel." Fili quickly spoke, grabbing her hands in his. Though he felt pain at her admitting her lack of love her promise that someday she would lightened his heart. "You are not a dwarf and so you need time to figure out your feelings, to develop them. I understand—was I not-was I not giving you enough time?"
"No!" Sirena said surely. "You were, well perfect. You gave me time but every day you showed me how much you loved me. And it just frustrated me so much. You tried to hide it, I know you did but you couldn't completely. Every moment I didn't love you back hurt and I care enough for you that I hated that. I would get so frustrated at not being able to reciprocate your feelings and then angry and Fili—oh Fili I was always so tired." Sirena spoke brokenly, her eyes filling with tears. "I just wanted to love you, for everything to be perfect and simple but it wasn't."
"Oh Budgel, why didn't you tell me." Fili whispered sadly, pulling the girl into his arms.
"Because you would do this." Sirena stated simply. "You would pull me into your arms and tell me that I just need time and you were willing to give that but it wouldn't help me. It would only make me feel worse. I'm horrible aren't I?"
Fili didn't respond only continuing to hold her tightly.
"You are the most understanding and loving person I have ever met and that's what aggravated me the most. And then at the dinners!" Sirena exclaimed chuckling through her tears. "Everyone would look at me as if I was the villain and I felt it. Why couldn't I just love you already! And if that hadn't been hard enough you all spoke like old friends, because you are I know. But what place did that leave for me? It didn't. I realized that I had no place and no purpose other than by your side and I couldn't even do that!"
"Budgel no!" Fili admonished. "You are—"he cut off in thought. "You are so perfect to me, faults and all. I didn't realize that you were feeling this I would have—"
"You couldn't have helped me. That was the problem." Sirena commented softly. "None of you could. I needed to fix this myself."
"And did you?" Fili whispered not daring to hope.
"Little." Sirena said because she felt it, she felt a lightness in her. A lack of tire, a hope ignited, Sirena felt for the first time since the battle truly alive and needed. "Thorin, Balin, and Dwalin were the unfortunate ones to find me when I broke down. They brought Bard to speak to me about love—funny I know." Sirena commented watching as Fili's face changed from concerned to chuckling at the thought of those three with a crying girl. "I didn't have a mother and father in love to show me what it was supposed to feel like and I was so confused."
"What did Bard tell you?" Fili asked.
"Other than to tell you everything and be assured in my thoughts that you would always be with me." Sirena asked sarcastically. "He told me that I couldn't continue to berate myself for not loving you and force myself to take the time I needed otherwise I wouldn't love you the way I wanted and you deserved. He told me that I would just know when I find myself in love with you."
"Was that helpful?" Fili begged pulling Sirena closer as if afraid she would run if he didn't.
"Yes." Sirena whispered pulling back so that they were face to face. Placing her hands on his cheeks she continued. "I—I know you will give me time and I thank you for that. I'm going to fall in love with you Fili, maybe not until tomorrow-or next week-or next month but it will happen. I can do this." Sirena breathed relieved as the words left her mouth. "I will stay in Erebor I will help with the museum and anything else I can do. I will make Erebor my home and I know that you will be waiting for me when I get there."
"Of course I will Budgel." Fili stated. "I spent the last 50 years waiting for you, I'm not going to leave you now."
Sirena chuckled lightly. "You are my future." She whispered because that was as close to I love you, she could say.
Eyes twinkling Fili spoke. "Amrul atsu miz Budgel. Miz amrâl."
Budgel- dream of all dreams
Naskhûna-temptress
Mesmel-Jewel of all Jewels
Naddith: Little brother
Ibdêg Uzbadnâtha- Dreaming Princess
Uzbadnâtha-Princess
Amrul atsu miz Budgel. Miz amrâl- I love you my Budgel. My love.