A/N: Hi!

I'm so so sorry that this chapter has taken so long! I haven't watched H&A for a while because of being at uni, so I kind of lost my muse for writing it a little, and then exams started creeping up scarily quickly. I've only got two left, and by the 29th I'll be done so hopefully it will mean plenty of time to write after that!

This chapter has been pretty much finished for so long, but I was having trouble bringing it all together (I don't really know why...) but that means it been a while since I write the beginning half. I've read through it a couple of times, but if you see any mistakes, feel free to point them out :)

I know more often then not I take too long to update, but please now that I fully intend to carry on with and finish this story. If that ever changes I'll let you know, but for now, know that updates are coming, even if they are very slow haha

Thanks for sticking with me this far! Let me know what you think! Feedback, good or bad, is always welcomed and appreciated :D

xoloveJBox

Chapter Nine

Phoebe's letter was driving Kyle insane. Plain and simple. He'd only been awake for less than an hour, and he'd already found his thoughts wondering back to it, standing on his bedside table, more times than he could count. He knew he should be happy- he had a beautiful daughter who, as of last night, finally had a name, and a whole house full of people who were willing to help him navigate his new responsibility of being a father. And mostly, he was. But, the uncertainty of what Phoebe's letter might say was nagging at him. What if the note contained some unexpected surprises for him that he should know about? What if there was a chance he wasn't Ella's father? He hated to think that Phoebe could lie to him, but he was the one who had changed his mind about leaving with her, and he had no right to comment if she had slept with other people in the time that she'd been away. But, if she had become pregnant by someone else, then it meant that she'd jumped straight from his bed into another man's, and that hurt almost as much as her leaving in the first place. Or, even worse than any of that, what if the note said that Phoebe had changed her mind about cancelling the adoption, and any minute a nice young couple from the city with good jobs and a big house might knock on their door, waiting to take 'their' baby home.

He knew he was being stupid- Phoebe couldn't, and wouldn't, do that to him- but not knowing what the note said, coupled with the fact that he had no desire to read it, was making him crazy, and he was more than happy when Bianca's voice jolted him from his thoughts.

"Kyle, did you hear me?"

"Yes," he answered quickly, scrubbing a hand over his face before adding "what did you say?"

"Come on," Bianca chuckled "I'll shout you breakfast at the diner. You can show off that beautiful baby of yours."

Kyle thought about it for a moment before shaking his head.

"Thanks, but I think I'm going to stay in today," he told her, glancing over at where Ella was still nestled on Casey's chest, and the two of them looked comfortable enough "I've got a lot to learn, and not much time to do it."

"Ok, here's the deal," Bianca sighed, her hands on her hips and a determined look on her face "I might have told Irene that I would bring you and the baby to the diner this morning."

Kyle knew he should have been surprised, but he really wasn't- he'd known Bianca long enough now to recognise a certain look on her face when she had a plan, and more often than not, she was unrelenting.

"Why would you tell her that?" He asked anyway, despite the fact that he'd already accepted that he'd be going.

"Well, because people want to see Ella, and it's not like she was a secret." Bianca explained "I mean, people saw Phoebe at the caravan park, and it was pretty obvious that she was pregnant."

Kyle had to admit that she was right, but his hesitancy must have been clear on his face, because Bianca continued.

"Come on," she chimed "Besides, it'll be good to get Ella out of the house. It'll start building up her immune system."

"Fine," Kyle groaned, knowing she'd purposefully played that card, of guilt-tripping him into going with his daughter's well-being. "Just let me go and get changed."

Bianca grinned wickedly at him and nodded. Kyle would have preferred to stay in, but he knew he had to go out at some point, so he might has well it get it over with. In his room, Kyle dug out some clean clothes and changed quickly, thinking the sooner he left the sooner they could come back. He grabbed his wallet and phone, and was about to leave when he decided to stuff Phoebe's letter in his pocket too. He wasn't sure what it would accomplish, but he thought that if he had it with him, he might decide whether or not he was actually going to read it.

He heard his brothers arguing as he made his way back downstairs, and when he got to the living room, he saw Brax, Heath and Casey trying to put the pram together. Ella was changed and ready to go, bundled in Bianca's arms as she laughed at the three of them bickering about how best to do it. Kyle joined them, but it wasn't until Bianca settled Ella into the Moses basket and actually read the instructions that they got anywhere.

"Good," Bianca declared when they were finally done "Let's go."

Kyle grumbled as he strapped Ella into the newly constructed pram, which he thought was a lot bigger than he'd expected. It seemed to swallow his daughter whole, and Kyle marvelled, not for the first time, over just how small she was. When he was sure she was secure, Kyle directed her to the door, following Bianca.

"Think of it this way mate" Heath boomed with a mischievous grin on his face before Kyle could disappear "with the little one, you're going to have to get used to women telling ya what to do."

Kyle rolled his eyes, listening to his brothers snicker as he steered his way down the breezeway.

Pushing the pram, Kyle had never felt so gawky and awkward in his entire life, stumbling over the wheels and brake. Every time he did it, it made both him and Ella jolt, so he'd pause to make sure she was ok. It meant that the five minute walk from the Braxton home to the diner took three times as long, but Bianca was patient with him, which in a way, made him feel even more self conscious about it.

After what felt like a painstakingly long time, they finally arrived at the town's small but ever popular diner. Kyle noticed immediately that it wasn't too busy, which on one hand, he was glad about. It meant that there were less people to bombard them with curiosity-sometimes disguising nosiness- that came with such a small place. One the other hand, it also meant that the people they had come to see had longer to hang around with them. It wasn't that he hadn't anything against Irene, and the other women who would almost certainly be found somewhere near. But so far, the only people who had seen Ella except for family were the nurses at the hospital, and though he didn't know where it had come from all of a sudden, he felt a surge of protectiveness surge through him.

Irene spotted them the moment they walked through the door. It was hard not to, Kyle thought, when he was wheeling around a contraption that seemed to have all the grace and finesse of a military tank. The older woman beamed widely and strode over.

"Morning Loves," Irene chimed, though her eyes went straight to the pram "Oh Darl, she is a beauty."

"Isn't she just adorable?" Bianca agreed, and Kyle grinned proudly, scooping Ella out and carefully handing her into Irene's eager arms. Irene turned when she heard Marilyn teetering towards them, her high-heels clicking on the floor with Leah at her side. Neither of them looked surprised, and Kyle guessed that what Bianca had said, about it being no secret that Phoebe had been pregnant, wasn't an understatement.

"Hello Sweetheart," Marilyn greeted in a sing-song voice, running her finger softly on the soft, slightly chubby skin of Ella's cheek before looking up at Kyle "What's her name?"

"Ella-May." Kyle answered with a smile. His daughter was thirty hours old, and it seemed like she was already used to being around a lot of people. She barely even stirred as she was passed lovingly between the three women.

"That's a lovely name." Leah cooed, leaning up to envelop Kyle in a hug. It was hard for her to believe that the father in front of her was the same person who'd lived in her spare room-and briefly on her couch. He seemed so much older now and, despite the slight bags under his eyes that often plagued new parents for a while, happier than Leah could ever remember seeing him. "Congratulations Kyle, I'm so happy for you.

"Thanks Leah," Kyle replied, shooting her a weary grin. His night of little sleep was starting to catch up on him, and he knew it wasn't going to get any better for a while.

Looking across at his daughter being passed from Marilyn to Leah, he didn't really mind all that much.

"You sit down," Irene instructed, all but pushing Kyle and Bianca into seats "I'll bring you over some coffee."

Irene quickly disappeared behind the counter, and Bianca, Leah and Marilyn soon fell into a casual chatter. Ella was still sleeping, bundled up in Leah's arms and she looked comfortable enough. Kyle decided to take the lull, no matter how temporary it might be, to grab a few minutes to himself-something he already felt like he hadn't had for a week, despite the fact that it had only been just over a day.

"I'll be back in a minute," he told Bianca quietly so as not to disturb them too much. Bianca shot him a questioning, almost concerned look, though she nodded.

It was still fairly early, but the sun was already high and hot, and Kyle sat down on a bench in the shade of the building. He let out a small sigh and closed his eyes. His whole life was about to change-in fact it had already started to- and he knew that if he was fully going to move forward, he had to close a few old doors first. And with that thought, he made his decision.

He was going to read Phoebe's letter.

Kyle pretended he wasn't nervous as he pulled it out of his pocket. He held in his hands for a few second, looking over his name written in Phoebe's looping script, before turning it over and ripping it open before he could change his mind again.

He saw straight away that it wasn't very long and, though Kyle didn't know why, there was forty dollars folded into it. He pulled the money out, tucking it behind the single piece of paper, and began to read.

Kyle,

I'm sorry that I left, but the nurse kept asking me if I was sure I didn't want to see the baby, and I was worried that they'd just bring her in if I stayed.

I don't deserve your forgiveness Kyle, but I'd like to ask for it anyway. You've always been so much braver than me, and the fact that you chose to keep our daughter when I couldn't proves that you're already a better parent than I ever could be.

I know with you our daughter will be safe, happy and healthy, because there's no way you'd let her be anything less, and believe it or not, that's all I want, even if you don't understand the choices I made to try and get that for her. I don't know what you plan to tell her about me, if you tell her anything at all, but if she ever asks, make sure she knows I only wanted the best for her.

I hope to see you again someday Kyle, and the best I can hope for is that you might want to see me too, but I'll understand if you don't.

The money is for what I owe at the caravan park. I left the keys in the van. Please apologise for me.

You may not believe me, but I am sorry for the way things turned out and some of the choices I made, but I know you're going to be a great dad.

I love you Kyle. Please don't ever forget or doubt that.

Forever yours,

Phoebe

Xxx

When he was finished, Kyle read it again, and then a third time before it truly sunk in. Phoebe wasn't coming back, that much was certain now. Kyle thought maybe he'd been hoping the letter would say that she needed to tie up some loose ends in Melbourne and she'd be back, and they would be a family. He didn't know what had given him that spark of hope; Phoebe had made it clear almost from the first day she'd arrived in Summer Bay that she'd rather be anywhere but the small town, and she'd stayed for him. Now he-and the child they'd accidently made-were the reason she was staying away. No, he thought she might not have been intentional, but nothing about Ella was an accident. She was no mistake.

It was Ella that brought Kyle from his thoughts. He heard her grumble, and within a few seconds, it was a wail. Kyle stood up and moved back towards the diner, dropping Phoebe's letter in the bin as he passed. When he walked in Leah was bouncing Ella gently in her arms, trying to calm her, but it did nothing. Wordlessly, Leah handed the baby over, and almost immediately, she began to settle down.

"It's ok," he whispered softly to her "Daddy's here. Daddy's got you, and I'm not going anywhere."