Chapter 10
I Can Trust My Heart
[Roxy's POV]
"Daddy I don't want to do this." I whined as I dragged the baseball bat in my hand.
"C'mon it will be fun. We need to spend a little more quality time together." He said as he threw the baseball up in the air and caught it.
"Ok I understand that, but this?" I held the bat up in my hand. "This isn't a teen female quality time with her dad. This is something you should do with Mike."
He smiled as he caught the ball again. "Alright I'll make a deal with you. I throw the ball. If you hit it we can go spend quality time wherever you want. Now if you miss it. We do this my way. Deal?" He lifted a brow.
I thought for a moment. What do I have to lose?
"Deal." I lifted the bat to my shoulders getting in a strike out the park position.
He took his hand and ran it through his long hair. "Ready?"
"As I'll ever be."
He threw a curve ball and I swung with all my might. To my luck I hit the ball right over his head and onto the roof.
I put the bat down and leaned on it with a smile.
He pulled out his keys. "Where to love?"
"Just follow my directions." I smiled as I walked passed him.
This is going to be a swell night.
[Tori's POV]
RING, RING, RING
"Who is it?" Jade asked as her head laid on my chest and arm around my stomach.
"I'm not sure. I don't recognize the number." I pushed the answer button. "Hello?"
"Hello is this Mrs. West?"
"Yes, may I ask who's calling?"
"Oh yes. My name is Marline Baker. I'm Shiloh's English teacher. I was wondering if we could set up a conference maybe this week to speak on Shiloh's performance in my class."
"Oh yes of course. We can definitely do a conference."
"Who is it?" Jade looked up at me.
"Great. How about tomorrow?" Ms. Baker asked.
I put my hand over the phone. "Shiloh's Teacher."
"What did she do!" Jade yelled.
"Calm down." I uncovered the phone. "Tomorrow will be awesome."
"Around 3:45ish?"
"Sound great. I'll see you then."
"Thanks you Ms. West have a nice night."
"You too." I hung the phone up and put it back on the night stand.
"Why the hell is Shiloh's teacher calling at 9pm to schedule a conference? What did Shiloh do?"
I thought for a moment. It was kind of late. "She just wants to speak on her performance at school. She didn't state anything specific." I said as I took my hand and pushed Jade's head back down on my chest.
She gave a low sigh and wrapped her arm around me tighter as I let my finger run through her hair.
"I love you Tori."
"I love you too Jadey."
"Ughh you messed up the moment."
I laughed. "My Jadey Wadey Bear."
"Ughh Tori stop. You're tuning me off."
"You know you like those names."
She sighed again. "Only when you say them." She smiled.
"Awwwh."
"Ugh. You bring out the soft parts of me. I hate you West."
I wrapped both of my arms around her and gave her a kiss on the top of her head.
I laughed. "I love you Jade."
She grabbed my hand as we continued to watch the movie we started.
"I love you too Ladybug."
I gasped at the name and looked down at her.
She looked up at me. "You only get names like that once a year so I hope you enjoyed the one for this year." She gave me a peck on the lips and returned to her spot on my chest.
I've never been so in love.
[Stallone's POV]
I sit on my bed Indian style with my face in my hands as I felt hot burning tears running down my face. My head was spinning and my stomach was turning. My heart felt weak but the same time it felt strong, my thoughts jammed around in my head. I couldn't think straight. I need something. I need something and I don't know what it is. What do I want? My heart is racing and it hurts. It hurts bad. Why am I so confused? What is going on with me?
Think Stallone think. Clear your mind.
I want Evelyn, but at the same time I don't. I don't want her because I'm scared. I've found someone new, someone that seems perfect for me. I'm scared to trust her. My heart will be made new for her, and what if she doesn't take care of it? What if she does just like Essence and tares it into a million pieces? What is she stomps on it and throws it around like a frisbee thinking it will come back to her whenever she wants? But she's so sweet. She's so caring. She seems genuine. She seems like someone I can trust, but I can't. I'm too scared. What if I let her in and she changes? What if I let her in and she actually breaks my heart? I can't take that. I'm not ready for that. But what if she doesn't? What if she's the perfect girl I see her as? Then I'm missing out? I would think what do I have to lose for trying? I have to lose my heart. It's a 50 50 chance. What do I do? I can't live scared for the rest of my life. I can't run from every open arm that's to me. I say I'm never scared, but I'm scared now.
Essence. My beautiful Essence. I still love her. I know I do, but how can I? Why do I still feel for her? Why can't I let her go? She's the one who done this to me; the one who changed the way I trust people; the way I handle my heart, but then again, I can't let her go. I know I can't trust her, but she can't break my heart again. She's already broken it. So I can hand her my heart in pieces, because she made those pieces and she can't break them down anymore. All she can do is rebuild them, but if she decides to break them down again it wouldn't hurt. It wouldn't hurt because she already broke me. So I'm not afraid to run back to her. My heart can take her now. My heart knows what's ahead now with Essence. It's like an Essence vaccine. She's come and did her worst now I'm immune to her heart break. If I take my broken heart pieces and give them to Evelyn and she rebuilds my heart, it's brand new. It's a sealed wall and she is the only one that could break it and if Evelyn, this new perfect creature that my heart is longing for decides to break down what she's put together, it's a new heart break. Something I'm not immune too. It's going to be a new heart break all over again and I can't take that. That's why I don't want to give her my heart because she has the ability to hurt me even more than Essence ever could again. I mean yes Essence can hurt me again, but it will never be as strong as me giving Evelyn my heart and Evelyn breaking it. It's not the same and I'm scared to be with her; to be with anybody but Essence.
Now Roxy. My best friend Roxy. My ex best friend Roxy. I have no idea what's going on with me, but lately I've been having a small feeling for her. Something different though. It doesn't feel like a crush. There would be nothing weirder than crushing on the girl I grew up with that's practically my sister, but when I kissed her, something was there. I felt something, something different, something I can't explain. It's not the same feeling I felt with Essence. It's something…new. I want to explore those feelings, but I hate that bitch. I know she can't be trusted and I know she's most likely a heart breaker, but I just want to explore her more. Just to see what my heart is trying to do.
I'm not using my head anymore, but I'm following my heart. I might sound dumb or whatever, but I don't care. There's too much my mind is trying to do which is apparently opposite of what my heart wants and that is leaving me in this situation with a perfect girl who wants to be with me, me running to a hoe who broke my heart, and then giving one of my real passionate kisses to a bitch I use to call a best friend who went with my ex girlfriend behind my back, all the while I've found out that Statige has a crush on me and I can't even think of being with him! So I quit. No more mind and heart battling. I'm dropping my mind and following my heart, and wherever I end up that's where I'm going to stay. Let's hope if I can't trust anything I can trust my heart.
I hope I'm doing the right thing.
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