It's tearing me apart but I need for her to see why this won't work between us. "It won't work because we're incompatible age wise…lifestyle wise. You're too sophisticated for me Lise. I'm an old cowboy thats set in his ways." I need Lisa to see what she'd be giving up. "Why would you want to be saddled with someone who'll hold you back. You're beyond compare, Lise and believe me I don't measure up."

"Don't put me on a pedestal Jack. I'm not some demigod that walks on water and turns water into wine. I'm just a woman, Jack like any other… probably have more faults then most and if you give 'whatever this is' a chance you'll find out all about them, than I'll be the one that doesn't measure up in your eyes."

Lisa's self-deprecating characterization of herself only endears me more. But I need to make her understand that carrying on what we have is a exercise in futility. "Even if we somehow manage to overcome all that, you know what will always be there Lise, my age and how people will always talk the way they did today. We'll always be a topic for discussion anywhere we go. That's no way to live, Lisa."

"You know one of the main reasons I was attracted to you was because you didn't seem like a man that cared what others thought. You know what you want and you get on with your life and make no apologies for it."

"Lisa with you and me its not as simple as that. There are other factors to consider they override…"

"Doesn't what we feel matter, Jack" interrupts Lisa. "Whatever this is between us feels right."

She looks me straight in the eyes with those mesmerizing sparkling light blue sapphire eyes and verbalizes that which I wish she wouldn't.

"You feel it too, don't you. We've spent a great deal of time together and we still gravitate towards each other, Jack. Doesn't that tell you something."

"Yeah, that we'd be great as friends" I cruelly counter. I can see the rapid shift of those sparkling light blue sapphire eyes from impassive to ice cold fire blazing.

"Friends that kiss and are pretty intimate," is Lisa's caustic reply.

I clarifying add, "we haven't been intimate yet, so that's besides the point."

"Believe me I'm aware of that… I'm good enough to socialize with but not that good right… obviously not good enough to take to your bed."

"Lise that's not what I…"

"Oh okay, you want to do this now. So what about the kissing then Jack. A form of friendship sort of like a friends with benefits, only without. If I'm being honest friends with a bit of the benefits. That sound about right," Lisa peevishly states.

I can't take the anguish that we both experiencing and try to stop it. "Lise, don't do this"

"Do what Jack! Try to figure out what you want or sort of want."

"Please Lisa… don't.."

"You're like a teaser stallion Jack. Only difference is your mare is in heat but you have no desire to cover her. Believe me I know how a frustrated mare in heat feels. "

"I never meant to let…"

"What! Let it go so far."

"Yes…no! No what I mean is I wanted to have your company to just once bask in your vitality and warmth. But you're hard woman to resist Lisa. Forbidden fruit always is Lise," I admit sincerely. "In the beginning, I would tell myself every time we went out it would be the last time but that went right out the window and the more time we spent together, the harder it got to break off what we were becoming."

"You didn't seem to have a problem resisting me Jack. I know your body physically reacted to me or rather me just being a woman but you're a healthy, energetic, red-blooded man so that's to be expected, a man has needs. But the rest of you not so much."

My heart distressed that Lisa thinks I don't want her and that she's replaceable by any warm body. "You're wrong Lise, about you being just any woman, being able to make me want you that way." I take a couple steps and reach Lisa. With my hands on either side of her face, I gaze into Lisa's eyes with my forehead resting against hers. "My body doesn't just crave yours physically but in every other way too." My body pressed closed hers there can be no mistaking what I feel for her. My heart racing, my mouth dry and my eyes enthralled I kiss Lisa and we make our way to her room.

That she is exquisite and everything I dreamed off is an understatement. A night filled with rapture will stay with me until the day I die. I untangle myself from Lisa and get dressed. I find a pen and paper on her dresser and write 'Lisa, It won't work. We can't be Lisa. Stopping whatever this is is the only way. Please forgive me but this is the only way I can say goodbye. Jack". I fold the paper and leave the note on the pillow I just vacated. A farewell kiss to her forehead as I leave. I turn back for one last look at her and burn the image of her into my mind. As I leave Fairfield and Lisa my heart in agony and my mind in despair.

Within the next 24 to 48hrs the slightly longer version of chapter 10 is posted under MA (NC-17) content

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Thank you for your understanding.