~Kira~

"What did you tell them?" He cocked his head the way she remembered him doing.

She lowered her eyes for a moment and then looked at him, "The truth. That I love you more than any one being should love another. More than my life, more than myself."

She took his hand and squeezed it tightly, "And that I would sacrifice anything to be with you."

"They told me that they would take me to you, but I had to come with them back into the Link. I don't know what they did to me. At first it was as if they were exploring me, prodding, testing. Then they pulled me under and I blacked out. The next thing I remember is waking up in a cold bunk in a locked guest cell of the Thalid'ieean vessel."

"How did you feel?"

"Strange," she shook her head."The only way I can think to describe it is like myself and not like myself. Beyond that I had a headache and nausea the first few hours after I woke up. But, I got so sick eating their food, I sort of forgot that I felt any different. Have they turned me into a Changeling?"

"I don't think so," he rumbled, "not entirely. Your DNA, when you are solid, you are Bajoran, but you felt like a Changeling to me when you began to lose cohesion. You started to link like a Changeling. It points towards your physical structure being altered on the subatomic level. That would enable you to move back and forth from silicate to carbon based."

"Could it be a trick?" She sucked in a deep breath through her teeth. "Oh Prophets, you don't think they would alter me to infect or hurt you in some way?" Her face was even, smooth, which she realized was enough to give away the sudden cold sluice of fear she fought to hide.

"No, I don't get the sense that it is anything like that."

She looked at him disbelieving. She shook her head a little, her eyes going far away. The muscles in her jaw tightened at the coldness in the pit of her stomach. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because, Nerys, when they hurt me they are hurting themselves. I am not sure what their intentions are, but I don't think you are a booby trap." He stroked her face, and she could tell he was turning something over in his mind.

"Nerys, if they have altered your DNA sub atomically - and it feels as though they have. If your body is shifting back and forth from being molecularly silicate to molecularly carbon based, it is probable that you will reform according to the genetic blueprint of the point in time when your DNA was transformed. Over time there will be degradation, but..."

"What do you mean?"

She knew what he meant, but wanted him to say it out loud anyway, "If they have done what I think they have, your aging process may have been dramatically slowed."

She had wanted to be sure that was what he was saying. But the words flowed over her numbly. She didn't know how to react. She tried hard not to think of it, but the faces of those she had left in the Alpha quadrant swam before her; Ezri and Julian, Miles, even Kirayoshi, would wither and die before her. It made her breath go shallow in her chest, and the cold feeling in her gut returned. She looked at him with what she suspected were wide, wild eyes. Kissed him firmly, not once but twice before stating in a voice that was strangely calm, "I need to take a walk."

He nodded. "I'll..."

"No," she shook her head. "Please."

"Odo," she put her palm on his chest, and anchored herself to it for a moment. "I love you. This isn't about you. I just … need to take a walk." The stillness of her face began to slip and she suddenly felt as small as she was, and caged, the panic edging back into her throat.

He knew then, she could tell, that she was holding on by a thread, and didn't want him to see. Nodding he held his long fingered hands up, surrendering control of the situation to her, "Do what you need to, I'll be here."

She nodded and suddenly could not hear anything beyond the thrum of her heart and how it fluttered like beating wings in her chest. She dragged on a pair of pants and tunic that she had just bought and tied on the woven shoes. It occurred to her that he probably ached from the teasing touch of her melting into him, that already he would long to taste it again.

She turned, and left, the partition swaying slightly in her wake. And then she was through the door and bolting down the hallway. Her short legged stride turned from an impossibly fast walk to sprinting run in four steps, desperate to outpace the roaring that was swimming up from the back of her brain. She ran upwards, turning coil after coil, growing dizzy and somewhat mesmerized by the unending spiral of it. She ran for kilometers up the gently winding ramps, and she was only a few turns from the peak when she pulled a muscle in her ankle. It was not terribly painful, but uncomfortable enough for her to lose her stride and slow as she reached the top of the arch. She stopped at the peak; viewing windows yawned overhead. The night sky opened above her through holes in the fast moving cloud cover. She realized all at once that her ankle actually did hurt a fair amount and that her lungs burned like they hadn't in weeks. It made her feel fragile and Bajoran, and the thought made her smile and choke back tears. Tears that she wished would stop threatening to derail her. She hated the tears most of all. Had since he left her. Hated that she wept alone in the cold quiet hours of the night when the absence of him grew too much. She hated how quickly they threatened to spring to her eyes now that she had found him. It made her feel weak. She stretched her legs and then her ankles. She reached up to the clouds that whipped past the sweeping viewing ports, felt her vertebrae settle and pop comfortably into place. She prayed then, for the Prophets to guide her. Closed her eyes held out her palms and let everything drop away from her with a deep exhalation. She prayed for forgiveness for her lack of faith. She prayed to look at this as a gift, with humility and gratitude. She prayed for guidance. The chill of the adrenaline drained from her and she was finally able to turn her thoughts to what had just happened. It had been too much. The feeling of coming apart and being reinvented cell by cell, atom by atom, really. She reasoned that Odo would keep her safe. That it would have been much different if she had been expecting it. Still the muscle memory of it flowed up through her arm; the very real panic of the looming reality of her vital organs being morphed into an entirely different substance. The pressing flood of sensation, so alien to everything she had ever experienced.

She chided herself. She wanted this. Had apologized for the limitation on more than one rending occasion. Wished it with her whole spirit. Prayed, even. And now she had it. Could give him the connection he physically needed. And would possibly live to spend nearly the rest of his life with him.

And now she understood fully what he must have felt like, discovering that he would outlive everyone he had ever loved, ever known, and would ever know.

They had asked. Had been very clear, in their own cryptic way, in what they had asked. She turned back, walking, taking the coils slowly, considering the dramatic shift she had chosen for her life.

She had thrown herself fully into her work after Odo left and Sisko had taken his place amongst the Prophets. She kept the station running at peak proficiency, trained and built a staff that ran the place beautifully. She hosted events, delegations, peace talks between the Founders and the Federation. (He had never come with them, or sent word through them as she secretly hoped he would.) She wanted to believe he was gone forever. To move on. But she could feel him out there.

Through the first few months after he left, she was constantly on subspace with O'Brien working out the stations' bugs. Between losing him to Starfleet Academy and Rom to his rather surprising new role as Grand Negus it was a wonder the station survived those months. But she finally found a Chief of Operations to rival them; a slip of a girl who barely seemed old enough to be living away from her parents, let alone old enough to keep an entire deep space station afloat, but the station seemed to whisper its workings to her. This alleviated many of her headaches, but she couldn't seem to sleep. She missed him with every breath, with every step. She missed him when she dined with Julian and Ezri, she missed him at station meetings. She missed him at the replimat, while walking in and out of services, when she went to Quarks, played springball. She hated going to the security office. She held all security debriefings in her office in ops. She lived, she smiled, she laughed, she functioned. And at night she lay in her bed and stared out the viewport into space and couldn't sleep. By the end of the third year she was exhausted. She never let her work suffer, but worried those closest to her. Even Shakaar, began to stay in much closer touch. He invited her planetside often. She declined more often than not. Didn't particularly like the young politician he was seeing. But she visited Kasidy from time to time, whenever meetings took her to Bajor, was amazed at how fast baby Jeni was growing into girlhood. When Ezri finally put her foot down, she took a transport to earth to visit Miles and Keiko. It was her first real vacation, away from the station since he left. She had overheard Molly talking to Keiko. "She just seems so sad. I never remember her being so sad."

She came back from her stay with their family feeling empty. She threw herself into her work with fervor. She had to work or she would be lost, she knew that much. She ran the station, seemingly unfazed. She attended meetings, parties, ceremonies. She drank her usual raktajino in the morning. She began crying silently, every night.

So the time passed, she went on. She tried to forget, she briefly and decidedly unsuccessfully dated several men. She worked, ate, and slept, kept the station running as smoothly as it could be expected to run. She even gained political notice and approval for her vastly improved negotiating skills. She was often on Bajor at meetings and in conferences as the world strengthened after surviving two occupations. She fought hard for the rights of the people, for jobs, and trade, and medical care. Much to her embarrassment, and against her wishes, Shakaar had a secondary school in Musilla province that she helped find funding for named after her, as well as a hospital in Dahkur province. She was well known, and highly respected. But at night, when she was alone with her thoughts, it all seemed so empty. She knew she was doing good work. Knew her people needed her. So why was the gamma quadrant the only way her thoughts fell when all other responsibilities were tended, when she was reaching desperately for slumber and it wouldn't come.

She had done everything Ezri suggested, taken the sleep hypospray that the Trill insisted on, made sure to keep connected with the friends she was in touch with, made time to spend with them, and spent time away from the station on the planet. Although, it didn't seem to matter, for she felt like she was walking around asleep all the time. She had taken to practicing springball at all hours of the night when she couldn't rest and felt she was using the hypospray too much. Half the time it was because her body took her to his office, only it wasn't his office anymore. So to play it off, she continued past the security doors and headed to Quark's for a holosuite and a computer generated springball partner. And at night when she prayed to the Prophets she prayed for him. For him to find his way, for him to be following his path. And that the Prophets keep him healthy and safe.

It was Quark who finally woke her up.

He showed up at her door with a bottle of spring wine. "Colonel!"

She rolled her eyes, and to her own surprise let him come in. "What do you want, Quark?"

He ignored her at first, set about pouring the spring wine into two tall narrow glasses. When he finally turned around with the bubbling glasses, she was standing hostile, with her arms crossed over her chest. "Can't I offer the station commander, the holder of my lease, and my favorite Bajoran a glass of spring wine?"

She eyed him suspiciously. "Is this laced with anything?"

"Colonel! You wound me! Why, the very implication that I would try to slip you something offends me." His face split into a sharp toothed grin. "Although, not a bad idea."

"Of course," he added lifting his hand, as her look turned icy. "I would never stoop to incapacitating the station's commanding officer. Certainly not one who has been as good to me as you have."

"Then what is it?" She took the glass finally and sipped cautiously. "What do you want?"

"Good vintage," she added, as an aside, for the spring wine was quite fine, whether or not the Ferengi barkeep was annoying her.

"Just wondering what it is going to take," he offered casually.

"Take?" The colonel made no effort to hide her irritation.

He made a distinctly ferenginoid hissing sound, "To get you to go find him already."

"Quark, what are you talking about?" even though she knew full well.

"You have completely ruined the pool. I had you pegged for no more than two years before you went to the Gamma Quadrant to find him."

She bristled. "Quark, get out. This conversation is over."

But he didn't move. Instead his voice dropped to a tone she had never heard from him before. He sounded almost gentle. And more surprising she could hear the honesty in his voice. "He loved you more than he loved his own people. And based on everything I have seen you feel the same way. Colonel, you weren't like this after Bareil. You mourned but you moved on. Why have you waited this long? You know how stupidly stubborn he can be. How blindly single minded. He's out there, missing you as much as you miss him. Probably thinking in his idiot way that he is protecting you from a life with him. Go to him. He has always needed you more than anything else."

She stood, silent, dumbfounded, wanting to lash out at the little Ferengi. Instead she turned and walked to the window. As if on cue the wormhole bloomed open and then flashed shut. And as she did every single time she saw it since he left, she wished it was him returning to her. "I can't leave this station, my people."

"Well, why the hell not?"

She threw him an irritated look, but he continued, "You are damn good. But Endarah Sohn has more than proven himself a solid candidate for taking your shoes. He has been an exemplary second in command, from the moment he came onboard. He even gives me a run for my latinum sometimes."

"Do you think the Grand Nagus," he paused with a shudder. "Not my brother! The last Grand Nagus, Zek. Do you think he spent all his time in office on Ferenginar? No, the man… Well, he used to be out and about all the time, now he barely leaves his bedroom, but that's only because of his age, and the herniated disc." He cringed, "But I'd rather not get into that. The man used to travel the quadrant, checking on business interests, networking with business contacts, cheating millions. Trust me, you wouldn't be the first or last person to hold and attend meetings via subspace. Hypercommuting is the only way to get things done these days! You could always plan to come back to Bajor as needed for important events. It's not like you'll shuttle through the wormhole and vanish. The universe is getting smaller every day."

He bared a wrist to her, "You've always worked better with him around, Colonel. Even the lowly bartender can see that. And while he did his job very well, he was a mess before you started seeing each other."

"Quark, none of this is any of your business. Please, just leave," she finally spat. Her jaw was clenched and she looked like she was at the edge of something. Her eyes were open just a hairsbreadth too wide.

He held up both his wrists, to beg her pardon, "Just thought you could use some spring wine."

He drained his glass and set it down. As he left he called casually over his shoulder, "Think about what I said. It's the one life that you've got."

The wine will probably be on my tab, she thought, and poured herself another glass. But she couldn't shut out his words.

She limped as she spiraled down, the muscle pull hurt enough to change her stride. Damn little troll, she thought, a smile tugging the corners of her lips. Figured he would be the one to make sense. And so, a handful of arrangements and months later she had left the station in a borrowed shuttle, which, presumably, was still in orbit around the changeling home world, or hopefully, on autopilot back through the wormhole.

She had been willing to give her life to be with him, said as much, and now she had, and she had a different one in its stead. Still, she very possibly had a hundred lifetimes to help her own people now, to help Odo right the wrongs of his. She picked up her limp to a hobbled jog, exhausted, but finding a second wind. She was suddenly very aware of how long it had been since she had left, and how Odo's mind tended to wander. By the time she came to his living quarters, she was floating in endorphins. The ankle would be horrible tomorrow, but she barely felt it at the moment. She had slowed and stretched again a few levels up. The door creaked softly on its hinges when she opened it.

He had been looking out on the small, livening, walled city, but turned toward the sound.

She hesitated for a moment in the doorway and then said in a rush, "Don't you dare think that this has anything to do with you." She pulled the door shut behind her and crossed the room to him. "I love you." She stood on her toes and brushed her lips against his, "So much."

"That will not change. Nor will the fact that I want to spend the rest of my now significantly longer life with you. I would choose that again in a heartbeat." She held him tightly. Several minutes passed. She sighed deeply and met his eyes. "It's a lot to take in. Bit of a life change. I'll get there."

His arms wrapped around her waist. He leaned into her.

"I'm so sorry Nerys."

"No!" Her head snapped up, eyes burning. "No, I wished for this Odo. Prayed to the Prophets to be able to do this for you, to give you this. Please, don't be sorry for what happened."

He scratched slow, comforting circles on her back, "It must have been disconcerting to shift like that, not knowing you could, not knowing what was happening. And to begin immediately to link when you have no frame of reference for what you were experiencing."

She nodded against him, "Overwhelming. But then most of my life has been overwhelming. I'm nothing if not adaptable." She gave him a half smile and took his hand. "C'mon I know you can't smell, but I can, and I need a shower." She led him into the interior of the apartment, limping enough for him to notice. He stayed silent, resisting the likely urge to tend it. She sat on one hip on the tub edge, taking her weight off the tender ankle as she turned the water on. Once it warmed and she had peeled off her sweat soaked clothes, she caught his wrist and pulled him in with her. He almost grinned, but looked into her eyes and lost it to a look of concern. She knew he had gotten to the point, before he left, where he could read even her withholdings well, and that had not changed. She shook her head at the guess he hazarded, "You are more than terrified, but you don't really want to tell me that. Don't want me to think you are terrified of me."

She only hesitated for half a breath before she spoke, "Not exactly. I know you will keep me safe, and I am used to who you are and all that it means; I love you more because of it. Nothing about you frightens me. But you existing as you are and me turning from carbon into a silicon-based gel? From where I stand, it's a bit different. It will take some time for me to get used to it."