Cass woke slowly, warm and content. It took her a few minutes to remember her heart issues the night before, but those thoughts were forgotten when she realized Veronica was curled up against her.
The scribe's head was resting on her chest, her fingers curled gently in Cass' shirt. She was warm and fit perfectly against the cowgirl, tucked under Cass' arm like she belonged there.
Cass couldn't remember the last time she'd felt so content. Usually when she woke up in bed with a woman, the cowgirl escaped quickly, rarely leaving a note. This time was different, and Cass wanted it to last forever.
She laid there for a while, enjoying the cozy embrace. Cass closed her eyes and pretended she was still asleep when Veronica stirred. The scribe shifted against her, inhaling deeply before she realized where she was and froze. Veronica held her breath for a moment, obviously expecting Cass to wake up and react poorly. Once she decided the redhead was asleep, Veronica curled up against her more securely and smiled into Cass' collarbone.
Cass couldn't stop a grin from playing across her face, and she laid there and savored the feeling of Veronica snuggled against her. She stayed still, determined to let the embrace last for as long as possible.
Veronica got up first, releasing Cass as gently as possible and pausing only to press a feather-light kiss to the redhead's cheek. She froze when she saw the redhead's grin, and mortification flooded her features when Cass opened her eyes.
"Never pegged you as the big spoon," Cass drawled, waggling her eyebrows.
"Oh god." Veronica buried her flaming cheeks in the cowgirl's shoulder. "How long were you awake?"
"Longer'n you."
The scribe groaned and reached for her pillow blindly, smacking Cass with it.
Cass laughed as Veronica escaped the bed, choosing to stay there and absorb the last of the warmth from the sheets. She listened to the scribe greet Six and head into the bathroom, then closed her eyes and smiled. Waking up next to Veronica made her happy, so much so that she could almost forget what had happened the night before.
The smile faded from Cass' face as realization washed over her again. Her heart was giving out, just like her father's, and she was going to die. It was almost poetic, she figured, to be slammed with a death sentence right after falling in love.
Cass didn't know the details, but she knew Veronica had dealt with more than her share of abandonment, especially by people that she loved. The scribe seemed to have moved beyond it, but there were still moments that Cass had seen distant hurt in her eyes. The cowgirl knew the losses had deeply wounded Veronica, and she hated to think that she'd add to that.
She considered packing her things and leaving, putting as much distance between herself and the scribe as she could before her heart gave out. Veronica wouldn't have to watch her die, and the thought was almost comforting. Cass finally understood why her father had left; imagining a brokenhearted Veronica cradling her dead body made her feel sick.
She could do it. Cass didn't have much in the way of belongings, so she had plenty of room in her bag for supplies. If she slipped out in the middle of the night, she'd have a few hours' head start on anyone that tried to follow her. By the time Veronica would realize she was gone, Cass would be halfway back to the Mojave Outpost.
Images of the scribe reeling in shock at Cass' disappearance flashed through the redhead's mind, quickly followed by visions of herself dying alone in a rusty sewer drain. The former hurt more than a knife to the gut, and Cass closed her eyes. If she was honest with herself, she was scared out of her mind, and she didn't want to face death alone. She didn't want to hurt Veronica, but she knew that whatever she did would end up hurting her anyway. Cass didn't want to be selfish, but she wanted Veronica with her until the end, no matter how soon it came.
She wouldn't leave, she decided, though there was still the issue of kissing Veronica and then dying. It wasn't going to be easy no matter how she went about it, but Cass figured that the best option would be to restrain herself and not act on her feelings for the brunette. Having Veronica in her life as a friend was better than not having Veronica around at all.
Cass couldn't stand her own thoughts and got up, making her way into the kitchen. She nodded a greeting at Six and grabbed some Sugar Bombs. Upon realizing she couldn't eat them with whiskey and no one had traded for brahmin milk lately, Cass sighed and stuck the cereal back in the cupboard. She poured herself a cup of the coffee Six had made and settled at the table, eyeing Six. "You look like you're headin' out."
Six glanced down at his armor and shrugged. "Yeah. I told Pearl I'd go get her the plane, so…"
"Plane?"
The courier nodded and drained the last of his coffee. "Loyal kept calling it the Lady in the Water. Turns out an old Pre-war plane sank in Lake Mead. I'm gonna go bring it up and send it back to Nellis."
Cass blinked. "You plannin' on growing some gills?"
Six laughed and explained that Jack had made him a gadget that would allow him to breathe underwater. The courier seemed to have confidence in it, so Cass didn't argue with him. It'd be his own fault if he drowned.
"How're you doing?" Six asked, changing the subject and focusing on the redhead. "Finally get some sleep?"
Cass nodded after a moment, choosing not to tell the courier about her heart issues. "Nice to be back in a real bed."
Six grinned and stretched before getting up. "You know it. I'm gonna hit the bathroom, then head out. See you in a few days?"
"If you don't drown," the cowgirl retorted.
Six scoffed and waved the comment away, disappearing into the suite.
Cass nursed her coffee in silence, torn between the thoughts of her heart giving out and waking up in Veronica's arms. She sighed and let a smile grow at the corner or her mouth, though something in her ached at the thought that she wouldn't be able to wake up with Veronica curled around her for years to come.
The scribe slipped into the kitchen a few minutes later and offered to make breakfast. She rifled through the cupboards and pulled out some ingredients. Veronica hummed as she set to work, failing in her attempt to inconspicuously keep an eye on Cass.
The redhead wanted to roll her eyes and remind Veronica that she wasn't going to drop dead, but the thought stuck in her mind and she realized that it was a possibility. She frowned into her coffee and tried to swallow the regret that rose in her throat.
"What was their cooking like?" Veronica asked after a few moments. "The Boomers, I mean."
Cass looked up, startled out of her thoughts. "Uh… Pretty fuckin' awful. Everything was slop with a little bit of meat thrown in when they had it."
"Ew," Veronica sympathized, wrinkling her nose. "Well, hopefully I can make these pancakes turn out okay."
The cowgirl grinned. Veronica wasn't the best cook in the world, but she could make a fantastic breakfast. She answered a few more idle questions about the Boomers as Veronica cooked, enjoying the simplicity of spending time with brunette.
After a few minutes, the scribe set two plates of pancakes on the table and sat down beside Cass. She grinned at the cowgirl and grabbed the agave syrup she had haggled for ages ago and drizzled it over her plate.
Cass did the same, and thanked Veronica for the food before they began eating. The food was warm and delicious and familiar, and Cass cleaned her plate and sat back with a grin on her face.
Veronica finished a few minutes later, then spent a few seconds studying the redhead with a fond smile. Her eyes gave away sadness, and the scribe's smile wavered after a moment. When Cass raised an eyebrow, Veronica simply shook her head and gathered the dishes.
Cass went to shower, relishing the first hot shower she'd had in weeks. She stood under the stream until the water began to get cold, then got out and toweled off roughly. Putting on clean clothes and feeling refreshed was a wonderful sensation, and she was tempted to celebrate returning to the Lucky 38 with a drink.
The thought stopped her in her tracks, and she went to the bedroom and began emptying out her footlocker. Cass was disturbed by how many bottles of alcohol she pulled out of her trunk, fighting off the urge to take a drink of each bottle.
She loaded the drinks into a bag and headed into the foyer just as Veronica ducked into the bathroom to shower. Cass went to the kitchen instead and began dumping the bottles down the sink. She filled the trashcan with empty glass bottles, and watching the last of the amber liquid swirl down the drain left a sense of freedom on her shoulders. The alcoholic that lingered inside her cringed, but Cass turned away and let herself ignore the loss.
She walked out of the kitchen and into the foyer, exhaling slowly. Cass spent a few moments trying to think of things to do, and finally grabbed a magazine and went to the den to read. The scribe found her there, staring at pages of Milsurp Review without really seeing them.
Veronica settled at the table nearby with a bag full of scrap parts. She was quiet for most of the morning, fiddling with the inside of an old radio idly. She looked lost in thought, but she kept sneaking glances at the redhead.
Cass pretended not to notice, though she was sure the scribe was still thinking about her heart condition. The cowgirl was shaken too, and as much as she tried not to focus on it, she found herself checking her pulse and waiting for her heart to stop working.
She debated telling Veronica about the stories of Ron-o-fist as a distraction, but the scribe got up and went to the bedroom before Cass could open her mouth. The redhead blew out a breath and wished she had a way to fix her heart and stop both of them from worrying. She didn't want to be the cause of any more strife in Veronica's life, she wanted to talk and laugh and tease each other again. The cowgirl frowned and cursed her luck, getting to her feet to move around and burn off some of her nervous energy.
No sooner had she stood up than did Veronica step back into the doorway. "Hey, Cass?" Veronica gave the cowgirl a hopeful smile. "How do you feel about taking a little trip?"
Cass smiled and raised an eyebrow. "Depends. Where y'wanting to go?"
"I want to take you to the Brotherhood," Veronica said simply, suddenly unable to meet the redhead's gaze. "If anyone has the tech to help with your heart, it's them."
Cass blinked. "You're kidding."
The scribe faltered and shifted uncomfortably. "No, but… Look, if you don't want to, I understand. I mean, I don't, but I can try and—"
"Ronnie," the cowgirl drawled, cutting her off with a grin. "You're rambling. Relax."
Veronica looked embarrassed. "I don't want to push you," she admitted.
Cass shook her head, then studied the scribe for a moment. "Y'think they can help, huh?"
Hope flickered in brown eyes. "Maybe."
The redhead swallowed a sigh, unable to resist the look on Veronica's face. "Well shit," Cass said, grinning even though she knew better than to hope. She was a ticking time bomb, and she knew it would take a miracle to save her. "Got nothin' to lose, right?"
Veronica's shoulders slumped with relief and she returned the smile. "Thanks, Cass."
"Hey, if it works, I oughta be thankin' you." Cass clapped the brunette on the shoulder, doing her best to look excited. "Whaddya want me to pack?"
They set out an hour later, both of them quiet and lost in thought. Veronica was worrying her lower lip between her teeth for as they walked out of Freeside, and Cass fell into step beside her. Neither of them said much as they headed south, but the silence wasn't nearly as unnerving as it had been when Veronica had been upset with her. Cass could catch Veronica's eye and they would share a smile, and the cowgirl wished she trusted herself to stay alive long enough to pursue a relationship with the scribe.
Their friendship was fantastic, but Cass wanted more mornings where she could wake up and feel needed, wrapped up in Veronica's arms. She wanted to kiss the brunette senseless, and part of her wanted to haul the scribe to the bedroom and lock the door, then stay up all night making her come over and over again.
But Cass wouldn't let herself do that to Veronica. She cared about the brunette too much to love her and die before the relationship could even get off the ground. The words struck her strangely; Cass hadn't been in any serious relationship for years, and she wondered if she could even be good enough for Veronica. She'd been shot down before, and the cowgirl was filled with sudden uncertainty.
Cass snuck a glance at Veronica, worried that what she felt for the scribe was unreturned. She'd spent so much time just assuming that Veronica would feel the same way, and hadn't ever really considered that there was any other outcome. Cass did her best to study the way Veronica looked at her, hoping to see some clear indication of the scribe's feelings. Veronica's face was troubled, though, whatever she felt muted by her obvious concern for the cowgirl.
Before Cass could think on it any more, her heart started to slam in her chest, aching with every contraction of the muscle. Cass grit her teeth, but did her best not to let her discomfort show. She plastered a smile on her face when Veronica glanced at her, fanning herself with her hat.
The scribe remained blissfully ignorant and led Cass through a small pass in the mountains. She scrambled up a gravelly slope, then turned and offered Cass her hand. "Doing okay?" Veronica asked as she pulled the redhead up onto solid ground beside herself.
Cass nodded and took a drink from her canteen. Her heart rate had spiked and her pulse felt fluttery in her chest, but it still wasn't as bad an attack as the previous night. She tucked her canteen away and hauled herself to her feet.
Veronica started through the gorge, and Cass did her best to keep up. The cowgirl could hardly see straight and felt like she was going to pass out. She didn't want to worry Veronica and did her best to fight off the dark spots in her vision. Cass' head was swimming as her heart pounded in her chest, and she managed to take a few more steps before she stumbled and fell to her knees.
The brunette turned around at the noise. "Cass!" She scrambled back over and knelt in front of Cass, grabbing the cowgirl's arm to steady her. Fear flashed in the scribe's eyes and she pressed her fingers to the pulse pounding in Cass' neck. "Damn it, no!"
Falling to her knees had helped the redhead's blood pressure stabilize, and Cass fumbled to give Veronica's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. She got as far as curling her fingers in the brown burlap before a particularly painful spasm ripped through her chest, and Cass hissed and slumped forward.
Veronica caught her and pulled Cass close, keeping the cowgirl steady against her chest. "Hold on," she pleaded, her voice cracking. "I'm right here, Cass. Don't leave me. Just hold on."
Cass nodded into the brunette's shoulder and tried to stay conscious and match her pulse with Veronica's. Her heart gradually slowed, but she didn't pull away until she was sure she felt stable again.
Veronica didn't release her hold on Cass' arm, watching the redhead carefully. "You okay?"
The cowgirl nodded slowly, picking her hat up off of the ground. She'd seen tears in Veronica's eyes, and Cass found that she was too ashamed to meet the brunette's gaze. "Sorry."
Veronica tried to say something, but her voice broke on the first syllable. She wiped at her eyes and took a deep breath, then got to her feet and offered Cass her hand.
The cowgirl let Veronica haul her to her feet, upset with herself for having a heart condition in the first place, and for causing Veronica so much grief. She stared at her boots, running her fingers along the brim of her hat uneasily.
Veronica exhaled slowly, then plucked the hat from Cass' hands and dropped it on the cowgirl's head. When Cass looked up, Veronica tugged it down over her eyes playfully. There was a faint smile on the scribe's face and she glanced over her shoulder. "We're almost there."
"Right behind you," Cass promised, adjusting her hat.
She followed the scribe through the gorge, taking down a few radscorpions with her shotgun before they could pose a threat. Veronica offered her a grateful smile, skirting far around the corpses.
The pair finally walked over a broken piece of chain link fence and into a hilly valley. All of it looked the same to Cass, but Veronica seemed to know right where she was going. The brunette hooked her arm through Cass' and led her across the valley.
A metal door in the side of a sand dune seemed to appear out of nowhere, and Veronica pressed the button to open it. It squealed as it opened, but before Cass could cringe, Veronica led her inside and out of the blazing sunshine.
The air was cool in the bunker entryway, and Cass breathed a sigh of relief without even realizing it. Veronica grinned at the redhead and pushed her hood back onto her shoulders. She ran a hand through her hair and exhaled slowly, then headed over to the intercom beside another door. She seemed to flip a switch inside herself, the worried expression on her face instantly replaced with false cheer.
"Hey, whoever's on guard duty today. It's Veronica. Your favorite Procurement Specialist," she joked, rolling her eyes at the title.
A sigh came crackling through the speaker. "McNamara's orders, Veronica. What's your password?"
"Oh c'mon, Flagg." The silence that met her made Veronica pout, but she gave in. "Ugh, fine. Gecko alpha Yangtze oh six nine. Happy?"
The door opened with a quiet hiss, and Veronica gave the intercom a scowl for good measure. "He's no fun," the brunette murmured confidentially, motioning toward the stairs descending into the bunker.
Cass was somewhat unnerved by the prospect of entering the Brotherhood bunker, but she wasn't one to back down because something scared her. She started down the stairs, Veronica right behind her.
The first flight wasn't very long, and a dark-skinned man in full power armor was standing guard at the landing. Cass' fingers twitched toward her shotgun, but the man glanced between her and Veronica and looked decidedly unimpressed. "Another outsider, Veronica?"
"Hey, Ramos," Veronica said brightly, steering Cass down another flight of stairs. She seemed unfazed by the lack of a response, keeping a smile on her face.
Cass marveled at the sheer number of stairs they went down, feeling sorry for the people that had dug the bunker. The metal walls felt somewhat like a coffin, but she kept that to herself, following Veronica through the halls.
The scribe tried to greet a few more people, but remained mostly ignored. A few people grunted noncommittally, but Veronica didn't seem to let it dampen her spirits. A frown started on Cass' face and she nearly commented on the way people were treating Veronica. The brunette interrupted her thoughts by pointing out the clinic, and Cass' thoughts left her as anxiety settled over her shoulders.
Veronica noticed the tension in the cowgirl's body and took Cass' hand. She gave it a quick, comforting squeeze then pulled away before anyone could see. Veronica led Cass into the infirmary, walking up to the desk where a woman sat making notes on a computer.
"Schuler?"
The older woman didn't respond for a few moments, finishing up her notes before she looked at Veronica. "Well, Miss Santangelo. What can I do for you today?" She glanced at Cass and raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything.
"This is my… This is Cass. Rose of Sharon Cassidy," the brunette amended, motioning to the cowgirl. "She's got—there's something wrong with her heart, and I wanted to see if you can help her." A note of desperation leaked into Veronica's voice, but she didn't seem to care.
Schuler's eyes were impassive as she stared at the scribe. "You know my policy, Veronica."
"I know, but—"
The older woman directed her gaze to Cass. "Would you mind stepping outside for a moment?"
Cass looked over at Veronica, her defenses rising at the distress on the brunette's face. She was about to shake her head and refuse when Veronica looked over at her and nodded. Cass blew out a breath and moved for the door.
Standing in the hallway was awkward; patrolling Brotherhood guards gave her strange looks and she felt like a criminal despite having done nothing wrong. The walls were thick, but she could almost hear Veronica and the doctor arguing inside the clinic. The cowgirl couldn't make out what was being said, but she had a pretty good idea. It was no secret that the Brotherhood wasn't friendly to outsiders, and Cass realized how difficult it would be to get an audience with the doctor.
Cass was about to interrupt and tell Veronica that it wasn't worth it when the door opened.
Veronica emerged looking worn out but victorious. She offered Cass her hand and smiled. "She's gonna take a look and see what she thinks," the scribe murmured.
The protest died on Cass' lips and she allowed Veronica to guide her back into the clinic.
The doctor was waiting for her when they entered, and she asked a few questions about Cass' heart before leading the cowgirl into a room filled with complex machinery. Cass shrugged out of her jacket when Schuler told her to, and Veronica quickly folded the worn leather over her arm and stepped out of the way.
Schuler ran a few tests without explaining much. At one point Cass could hear her heartbeat and the whooshing sound of her own blood filling the room. The doctor passed a few handheld scanners over the redhead's chest, then tapped a few keys on the computer and led the women into the clinic proper. She motioned for Cass to sit down on one of the beds and grabbed a clipboard.
Cass settled on the cot uneasily, slightly comforted by Veronica perching on the chair beside her bed.
Schuler didn't spare the brunette a glance, rifling through the papers on her clipboard and sitting at the computer at the left side of Cass' bed. "Describe your symptoms, Miss Cassidy."
"Uh." The redhead felt her mind go blank, and words to describe her condition wouldn't form. "Feels like my heart's gonna bust outta my ribs sometimes. I'll feel it start to hurt, then it starts pounding and gets all fluttery, like a tumbleweed bouncin' around in my chest. Sometimes I get all dizzy-headed and black out." She glanced at Veronica, cringing at the distant ache in the scribe's eyes.
The doctor scribbled a few things on her papers and moved to the next question. "Do you know of any family members that have had similar issues?"
Cass nodded. "My dad had the same thing. I guess. He walked out when I was still the size of a brahmin calf. Ma said his got so bad it 'bout killed him."
Schuler's pen flew across the page as she took notes, and she continued down the page, asking questions and writing down the redhead's answers. Some of the questions seemed completely unrelated to her heart, but Cass did her best to answer them anyway.
"Is there anything you know of that makes these symptoms worse?"
"Chems," Cass answered immediately. "Can't go near 'em. Other'n that, no idea. Alcohol don't make it worse, food doesn't bother me, nothin'. Just chems, far as I know."
The doctor nodded and wrote that down, then paused to flex her hand and look up at Cass. "And how long has this been going on for you, Miss Cassidy?"
"Been happenin' all my life, but it just got worse a few weeks ago when I was detoxin'." Cass watched as Schuler nodded and wrote something on her clipboard. "It's been pretty bad ever since."
The doctor made a few more notes and studied what she'd written. Finally, she looked up at the cowgirl and nodded again. "I'm going to analyze the test results, and I should be back with an answer for you shortly, Miss Cassidy."
The redhead nodded wordlessly, and Veronica thanked the doctor quietly. Schuler paid no attention to the gratitude, getting up and retreating to her office.
"Hey. You said something about detoxing," Veronica said after a few moments of silence, a slight frown creasing her brow. "I thought you couldn't use any chems…?"
"I quit drinkin'." Cass grinned at the shock that went across Veronica's face. "Gonna have to find me a new nickname. Whiskey Rose ain't gonna cut it anymore."
"You're serious." Veronica sounded stunned. "You actually quit?"
Cass nodded, the look in Veronica's eyes making the miserable weeks at Nellis worth it. She was proud of herself, and seeing the awe on Veronica's face was better than any sip of whiskey.
The brunette gazed at Cass for a few minutes before speaking. "Wow."
Cass rolled her eyes. "I'm bein' considered for goddamn heart surgery, and that's all you gotta say?" she teased.
Veronica looked appropriately embarrassed and fidgeted in her seat. "Sorry, I just… I'm proud of you, Cass." She offered the redhead a smile, worry flickering onto her face when the doctor approached them once again.
"It looks like we may have a solution for you, Miss Cassidy," Schuler said, ignoring Veronica's relieved sigh. "The surgery won't take terribly long, providing there are no complications, and it should be relatively straight forward."
Cass was lost the second medical terms started flowing out of the doctor's mouth, and she looked to the scribe for guidance. Veronica looked confused as well, and Cass wasn't sure if that was comforting or not. "Hey, Doc," she interrupted, doing her best to give the woman a polite smile. "I ain't real big on the jargon. You thinkin' it's gonna work is good enough for me."
The doctor gave her a thin smile. "I'm certain this will work, all I need is your consent."
Cass could sense the brunette holding her breath, but there was no question in her mind. Any chance for success was better than a looming death sentence. "Do it."
Schuler nodded and made a note on the computer at Cass' bedside. "The procedure is simple. We won't be cutting your chest open; it will all be done through a small incision in your leg. Anesthesia will be administered to put you to sleep, and—"
"Woah, wait up a second." Cass frowned to mask the uncertainty rising in her chest. "How's that different from chems? How d'you know this anesthesia shit ain't gonna kill me?"
"Everything will be completely under control," the doctor assured Cass firmly. "The procedure is minimally invasive and you should recover quickly. In the worst case, we have life-saving measures within easy reach."
The words were hardly reassuring, but the redhead could tell that was all she was going to get out of the doctor. She looked to Veronica, who shot her a brave smile, and exhaled slowly. "Fine. Let's get this over with."
The doctor nodded and called for her assistants to get ready, then ordered Veronica out of the room.
Veronica looked less than pleased, but got up and started for the door. She hesitated and gave Cass an anxious glance. "I'll be here," she promised quickly. "When you wake up, I'll be here, I swear."
The cowgirl smiled and nodded like she didn't have a reason to be scared. "Holdin' you to that, Ronnie," she teased, catching a glimpse of Veronica's nervous grin before the scribe was led out and the door closed.
Everything felt chaotic and unreal as the doctor bustled around and made all the necessary preparations, and Cass swallowed anxiety. She stripped out of her clothes and put on the flimsy gown that was shoved into her hands, then followed Scribe Schuler into the operating room. She laid down on the bed there, making a face at the chill in the air. Before she could complain, a mask was put over her face and the world faded away.