I don't own anything! Put away your lawyers, please!
Summary:
"When you lose someone, you usually go through the five stages of grief… denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. …I think I may be stuck on the fourth one." He helped her gain back the hope she had long-since lost. IchiRuki; AU
Rating: M (For safety and possible situations)
Genre: Romance/ Hurt/Comfort/Drama
Some quotes are from random books. More are from songs. Others I made up completely.
Inspiration: Inori~ You Raise Me Up by Lena Park, Because of You by Kelly Clarkson, and Saving Zoë by Alyson Noël, plus a lot of other stuff.
Thank you guys so much for the reviews! You're so awesome!
I don't own any of the songs/quotes/book titles/authors in here, either!
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Chapter 9:
Strange Angels
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning.
But everyone can start today and make a new ending.
-Maria Robinson
Mitsuki: Renji was pacing back and forth in front of me, about to tear his hair out.
"Oh, God…" He seethed, and I couldn't have phrased the shock any better. "He… he's doing what? Why? Does he really hate me so damn much?" He sounded near-tears, but Renji's Renji, and I knew he'd never cry unless it was something horrible.
Actually, now would be the perfect time to cry.
"I told you," I sighed, "He wants to take care of you. And I wish I could stop him, but the judge probably would think it'd be best for him to take care of you, considering you're his biological…"
"Who cares?!" He screamed at me, "It doesn't matter, Mitsuki. He's gonna kill me if I go, and you know it."
"Yeah, I do." I remembered his mother, Akari, vaguely. I'd thought she was crazy when she said I was the godmother; barely twelve, I thought she was only kidding. But when she left, I knew it was all so true. Akari had left before Renji had turned ten, so he'd been alone practically all his life.
He calmed down a bit, then asked; "What're we going to do? Mitsuki, you've taken care of me for only a couple of years, sure, but it was through the most important part of my life and I turned out perfectly fine. Better than I would if he'd taken me in."
I bit my lip. "Thank you." I didn't want to admit it, but I was scared. I really was.
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Rukia: "Are you okay?"
I looked into Ichigo's questioning eyes, full of worry. I opened my mouth to speak, but could think of nothing. So, I sighed, drumming my fingers against the oak desk. We were in math, but Mr. Ukitake was too busy re explaining everything to a few students in the back.
"I'm fine." I lied. Dawn, Tatsuki, and Orihime were still worrying me. What've I been missing lately?
"Liar," He glared hotly at me, and I felt a shiver of something run down my spine. "Tell me the truth."
"It's… about Orihime."
"Inoue?"
"And Tatsuki. Dawn, too."
"What about them?"
"I… I don't know, I'm not worrying too much about Orihime as I am with Dawn and Tatsuki," I lied again, but this time, he bought it. I didn't want him to go asking Orihime what was wrong.
"What's the matter, though?"
"I don't know and that's the issue! Dawn's been really weird lately… like she wants to quit her happy façade and cry, and I know her, she would if she needed to, but she's not. And Tatsuki's so quiet, so reserved, and she doesn't want to talk. She's really hostile, too. Well… more so than normal," I admitted.
Ichigo stared at me for a long minute, and then looked back down at his homework. "They've never acted like that," He whispered carefully, tapping his pencil on his desk.
"No. They haven't." I murmured, looking out the window, at a bird.
It was singing freely.
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Byakuya: I was walking in the park when I saw her. That same girl, from so many mornings ago. The one with the dark hair and hazel eyes, the one with the happy smile, the one that fell down in the snow. What was her name?
My name's Dawn, isn't it?
Dawn, I remembered, walking through the park. The snow was gone, grass and flowers left behind, naturally. It was still cold, though, so I was wearing a black jacket draped over a white tee shirt, and jeans.
"Hey," I greeted when I was within her hearing range. I don't know why, but something had drawn me to this girl, to this teenager who reminded me too much of Hisana in her younger days.
"Hello," She greeted me back, and I knew something was wrong. Her eyes were a little distant, and the way she was sitting made me think of a frail, innocent child. She was wearing a black long sleeve shirt and skinny jeans. A necklace hung from her neck.
"Are… you okay?"
"I'm fine," She looked a little shocked that I would ask. "Just… nothing, it's okay." She attempted a smile, and then turned her attention back to her book.
"What're you reading?"
"My Sister's Keeper," She answered with a soft smile. "You ever heard of Jodi Picoult?"
"Yeah, I have." I sighed, and asked, "You want some company?"
She blinked twice, and then broke out a goofy grin. "I'd love some."
I sat down next to her, on the park bench, and said nothing.
Neither of us spoke a word.
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Rukia: I walked across Elm Street, on my way to Tokiko, to see Ichigo. He'd warned me constantly to never visit his house, but I just loved to mess with his little berry-head. Besides, I couldn't really see what was so bad about it.
"My family's insane!" I impersonated our conversation from a week ago, when I'd first asked him. "Sure they are." I rolled my eyes.
"Rukia!" I heard somebody call my name. I turned, and gasped softly.
"R-Renji?"
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Oh, my god. What's Renji doing here? And then, something hit me. That text… the familiar number, it was him?
"Oh my gosh, what're you doing here?" I asked in mock-excitement.
"I'll tell you later," He avoided the question with a wave of his hand. "But… what are you doing here? In Tokiko? You never come here."
"I… I'm visiting a friend," I lied. I would call Ichigo a little bit more than a friend.
"Oh, well, then." He seemed a little hurt. But hey, I didn't have any time to spend with him. "I'll talk to you later. Bye!" He waved me off, running in the direction opposite of Tokiko.
I sighed. Oh, what's a girl to do?
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Dawn: I couldn't remember how long it'd been since I felt this happy. A year? Two? Maybe five. I can't remember. All I can remember is Byakuya made me feel… happy, dare I say it. But I can't feel that way. He's older than I am, by nearly nine years.
It's too much of a difference, not to mention he's practically a widower. I knew Hisana… she was an angel in disguise, not to mention cuteness incarnate. She had that jet black hair, those deep, mesmerizing, blue eyes, skin of porcelain, that petite, slim figure… anybody would fall at her feet, just to be near her.
It's hard to imagine a couple like that, compared to me. Because you can't imagine. Because, you know, it's not possible.
Never was, never will be.
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Ichigo: I sat in my room, listening to a song called Breakeven by The Script. I can't even remember how I got that on my iPod. I shrugged it off; maybe Yuzu had put it in there. The twins were always stealing my stuff.
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even
The voice echoed through my head, and I couldn't help but like the beat a little.
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't breakeven
I heard the doorbell ring faintly, but I thought nothing much of it. Probably just one of Yuzu's Girl Scout friends. I shrugged, hoping there was cookies downstairs.
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
what am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay
Oh, I'm fallin' to pieces… yeah.
Suddenly, I heard a loud crash and a shout of, "Oh! You're too lovely to know my delinquent son!" And I knew I had to get up and stop the mess my father was making. I leapt out of bed, making a beeline to the front door.
"Dad, what're you doing—" I stopped dead in my tracks, staring at Rukia, dumbfound. "Ah— what the hell are you doing here?!" I felt a sharp pain on the back of my head, and fell to the floor. I looked up angrily at my father, who was glaring at me.
"How dare you speak to a woman like that! My dear, I'm so sorry, you shouldn't be involved with my son if he speaks to you like… wah!" Dad actually yelped when I kicked him in the back of his head. I grabbed Rukia's hand, and we were both out the door not a second later.
"I need to talk to her!" Was my immediate answer to my family's dumbfounded looks.
We were in the park, the one outside the Byron House, where we'd had our first actual date, not some little get-together watching a lame-ass movie. "What're you doing? Didn't I tell you not to come over?"
"You did," She grinned, "But I kinda love pissing you off like that. It's funny seeing your reaction," She laughed that heavenly laugh of hers.
"You little bitch," I smiled.
"That's why you love me!" I could tell she meant for it to be a joke, but I couldn't help but feel an ounce of truth in what she said. I did love the way she acted; her bitchy-ness, her constant complaining, but her compassion and slight sensitivity, too.
I just laughed, though. "Whatever. Come on, let's go. I might as well escape my 'family' for a little while longer. Let's go get ice cream." I didn't want to, but hell, she loved the stuff.
"Ooh!" She jumped up and down like a little school child, "I want a strawberry cone with all the…" She rambled on and on about ice cream toppings, and debated on a cone or a cup. I just smiled the entire way, my hand intertwined with hers.
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Rukia: Today had been a fairytale, no matter how stupid and cliché and childish it sounded.
I looked up at my iPod. It'd been on shuffle, and the song I'd found was one I didn't listen to too often. Slow Goodbye by Lesley Roy.
So I act cool,
on the outside,
but it's eating me alive.
I hummed along to the lyrics, looking outside. It was nighttime, and the moon was out. The pure, full moon.
All the compromise
No, I can't take another slow goodbye
Sitting in the park, after dark, smoking cigarettes
biting all the black off of my nails
Cause all I ever was what you took away from me
Try to make it right, but it's too late.
I rapped my fingers against the windowsill, still humming along. "Oh, all the compromise, I can see it in your eyes, no I can't take another slow goodbye." I sang softly, as it began to rain. Clouds covered the once glowing white moon.
"Oh, all the compromise, I can see it in your eyes, no I can't take another slow goodbye."
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Mitsuki: "Are you okay?" I asked my idiot godson as soon as got back.
"Fine," He growled unhappily, stomping up the stairs. Some part of me wanted to run up after him, and demand he tell me what's wrong, but another part fought against it, saying he'd crack and tell me eventually.
The former situation eventually won, and I ran upstairs after him.
"Okay, buddy boy," I smiled empathetically, "Why don't you tell me what's going on?" We were in my dad's old study, the one I used to read in all the time. I'm happy I never decided to sell this place; I had enough cash to keep it for whenever I came out here.
I handed him a cup of coffee I'd brought up with me, "Take it. God knows you need it." He took the cup carefully, and sighed.
"I saw Rukia."
"Oh, you did? That's so awesome, kid! How's she doing?" Rukia, his childhood friend from years ago, before middle school. He'd liked her for the longest time, and he finally saw her again and… oh, hold on. Why was he so upset, again?
"Oh, my… Renji, did she not…"
"N-no, not that!"
Okay, that was good. He didn't ask her out and she didn't reject him. If he did, I'd have to blame him. I mean, you just don't not see someone for years and then jump back into their lives, asking them out.
It's just so sudden.
"It's just… it's complicated, and she's not so… and I'm just…"
"Oh for god's sake!" I groaned, looking at him like he was crazy. "Just spit it out man! She got a guy, didn't she?"
"That's what Tatsuki said. And the way she was acting when she saw me… I have to believe it."
"You're such a moron," I laughed, "You don't just go out and expect her not to have moved on with her life after years of not seeing you. She's a beautiful girl; I'd be amazed if she hadn't." At his steely glare, I stopped smiling.
"I… I'm sorry, Renji. But you can't expect everything to be yours. You've got to stay in contact, so you'll know what you're expecting." I know from experience, I thought with an inward grimace.
"I gotch'a," he said, surprisingly calm. I smiled— I can't remember the last time he wasn't pissed off or full-on upset about something. Everything was just a big dilemma for him.
"Okay, good," I grinned, standing up and leaving. I shut the door behind me quietly, leaning against the frame with a heavy heart.
"Sorry, kid." I murmured. "You just gotta get your heart broken sometimes." I smiled softly, walking downstairs.
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Ichigo: "Are you okay?" I asked Rukia at English the next day. The entire school most likely knew about our new relationship, from the amount of whispers and rumors floating around. But Rukia was never the type of girl to let silly, trivial things like that get her down.
"Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm okay."
My eyes narrowed. "No, you're not. Do Tatsuki and the others really buy that bullshit?"
She smiled weakly, "Not always. Never, actually. But I try."
I smiled a bit, "Yeah, I guess you do." She turned her head, pretending to focus on Ochi's lecture, but her eyes flicked back to me every few minutes.
I'll tell you later, is what her gorgeous blue orbs promised silently, and I turned my attention to the Julius Caesar assignment. Not my full attention, of course.
Okay, I thought back, though she obviously couldn't hear me.
"Okay."
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Dawn: I couldn't believe Momo was here.
I tried to smile at her… I really did. Can't say I succeeded, though. "Mo," I called out, using that old nickname from our childhood. She looked at me oddly, almost frightened, then nodded in my direction.
"Uh, hey, Dawn." We were in Chem. 2, and Mrs. Hikari was showing a couple of students how to do this and that with their chemicals. My lab partner, Mary, looked at me warily, like she was saying Don't do it, D. Don't do it.
I blatantly ignored her. I heard her sigh softly, and go back to our experiment. "How've you been doing?"
Shitty. We both want to say, but neither of us wants to say it.
"Okay," she lied suddenly, and I'm aware of how much had changed. She's not naïve, the little girl who'd do anything anyone would ask, she's not curious or happy or truthful anymore, and she's lying without hesitation.
"I see," I spoke tersely, sneaking a peek at her lab partner, Nikko. He smiled cutely at me, and I barely felt the hot blush staining my cheeks. Boy crazy, thy name is Dawn. I sighed deeply.
"That's good," I added as a small afterthought, but I didn't really care that much. "I hope you're back for good." I smiled. Now, that part was truth, and nothing but. As angry as I was at Momo, I'd always treat her like the sister all five of us were.
She smiled gratefully, "Thanks," and, without further ado, she went back to her project.
I nodded to myself as I handed Mary a beaker of some purple-ish goo. I stayed silent, but responded to her in my head.
Mmhm. No problem, Mo.
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My new story is out and about! It's called Fade! Check it out, please, cuz if u like You Raise Me Up, then you'll probably like Fade, too! Lol, so please check it out!
Mmhm. Yeah, I know. Weird, right? I need a little conflict, but since a lot is already done, I can't do much more. Okay, review, please? Please? ?
-TMU