Ok chapter 10! Keep on reviewing please! Reviewers who haven't reviewed for
a while, please tell me if you're still reading and enjoying!
Disclaimer: I still don't own nothing. Especially grammar skills.
"Morpheus?" asked Neo "is it just me, or is today beginning to look more and more implausible every few minutes?"
"What do you mean?" asked Morpheus.
"Well we seem to have been here for at least twenty four hours, and yet in all that time, we haven't had anything to eat or drink, me having failed at acquiring refreshments both times I tried. I fell over and started hallucinating, and yet I did not receive any medical attention. We broke into a CCTV controlled area and almost fell to our deaths with no apparent consequences. We've met people who have no place outside padded cells, running businesses. I just committed robbery, and yet nothing has happened to me, despite the rather extravagant amount of security employed"-as he said this he pointed to the 68 large men and women wielding baseball bats and eyeing them suspiciously. "So I was just wondering," continued Neo "if it had something to do with"- he dropped his voice- "magic?"
"Magic!" Morpheus exclaimed.
"You know, Harry Potter, Lord of the rings? The Lion, the witch, and the wardrobe?"
"No. Definitely not." Said Morpheus looking decidedly shifty. "It's just a little technojiggery,!
"I have some other questions", Neo said, unfurling a long piece of paper an handing them to Morpheus, who scanned the list then cleared his throat and answered them all at once:
"Sentinels are not fairies of the night, Trinity is not un-dead, she's just very pale, we never smile because we're never happy, Agent Smith is not a very nice guy, just misunderstood..nor is he a boy wizard. Mouse does not turn into a mouse at night and try and eat peoples eyeballs, nor does switch turn into a light switch at the full moon. For the last time, you are not dead, far from it, , and finally, I am not your friendly uncle Gerald, though I don't have the papers to back that one up, so maybe we should leave that one unanswered. Happy now?"
At that moment, the security guards who had been eying them suspiciously a paragraph or two ago, looked at Neo. Neo looked back at them. It happened to be a very bad idea to start a staring contest, and they started to chase the three heroes. Of course, the guards had no idea who they were, so they chased them up stairs, down stairs, up ladders and down snakes until the trio took refuge by diving through a small door.
The surroundings were strangely white. When Trinity and Morpheus got up they both groaned softly.
"Oh that's it, enter through my door and I save you from mad, bad security guards, but you can't stop complaining."
Neo thought it was time to do what he did best. " Who are you? Why am I here? What? How?"
"This is the shop of metaphors," whispered Trinity "It is a-"
"I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW! I AM THE SHOP!"
"So are you the shop metaphorically, or are you actually the shop?"
"I am the shop!" the shop repeated. "I like double meanings, similes, metaphors and symbolism. I also enjoy daytime television."
Neo coughed. It sounded strangely like "MAGIC!"
Trinity had a coughing fit. It sounded strangely like "OH MY GOD WE CAN'T KICK THE ASS OFF A SHOP WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?"
Morpheus had a coughing fit. It sounded strangely like " LETS BEAT IT AT IT'S OWN GAME AND CONFUSE IT WITH PHILOSOPHICAL CRAP, THEN RUN AWAY!"
The other two nodded their agreement. "Can you step in the same river twice?" Neo asked the shop.
"Are you asking me metaphorically or scientifically? I assume your asking me metaphorically I would have to say no."
"Your getting mixed up in the questions in the metaphor, not the metaphors in the question." Said Morpheus. "Why no?"
"No, because a river is always changing, each time you step into it the stones are rearranged a different way or the water has mover or so forth, meaning it's not the same bit of water."
"Are you referring to a river in the matrix or a river in the real world though? Asked Trinity (she had taken a degree in computer science crossed with philosophy at university. Now a nearly non existent course, it its only taught in the French alps by a wise monk named Exodus Shakespeare Winalot, the only man in the world to be named after a book in the bible, a literacy genius, and a make of dog food.)
"Because," pressed Trinity, " If your talking about a river in the matrix, it never was real in the first place, meaning the water and stones you speak of never actually existed in the first place either."
The shop was silent then "errr"
Then something dawned on Neo. He remembered a book he had read on philosophy at school " Yeah and there's another theory that we don't actually exist, and we're all living in a computer program." Two faces and a shop were silent. Two faces and a shop then suddenly cracked up laughing
The noise was enough to attract the sixty plus security guards rooting around for them outside to run against the door all at once, and the door sprung open, and sixty security guards ran in to find nothing.
It is a curious but little known fact, that most metaphorical shops have back doors. On the other hand, it was a metaphorical shop, and maybe what happened in this chapter only represented what really happened. Mind hurting? Philosophy can do that to you.
Ok thank you for reading. It should be said at this point that "I won't bother really reviewing, I'll just metaphorically review" is just not good enough. Reviews are lovely. So please do actually review. Please...
Disclaimer: I still don't own nothing. Especially grammar skills.
"Morpheus?" asked Neo "is it just me, or is today beginning to look more and more implausible every few minutes?"
"What do you mean?" asked Morpheus.
"Well we seem to have been here for at least twenty four hours, and yet in all that time, we haven't had anything to eat or drink, me having failed at acquiring refreshments both times I tried. I fell over and started hallucinating, and yet I did not receive any medical attention. We broke into a CCTV controlled area and almost fell to our deaths with no apparent consequences. We've met people who have no place outside padded cells, running businesses. I just committed robbery, and yet nothing has happened to me, despite the rather extravagant amount of security employed"-as he said this he pointed to the 68 large men and women wielding baseball bats and eyeing them suspiciously. "So I was just wondering," continued Neo "if it had something to do with"- he dropped his voice- "magic?"
"Magic!" Morpheus exclaimed.
"You know, Harry Potter, Lord of the rings? The Lion, the witch, and the wardrobe?"
"No. Definitely not." Said Morpheus looking decidedly shifty. "It's just a little technojiggery,!
"I have some other questions", Neo said, unfurling a long piece of paper an handing them to Morpheus, who scanned the list then cleared his throat and answered them all at once:
"Sentinels are not fairies of the night, Trinity is not un-dead, she's just very pale, we never smile because we're never happy, Agent Smith is not a very nice guy, just misunderstood..nor is he a boy wizard. Mouse does not turn into a mouse at night and try and eat peoples eyeballs, nor does switch turn into a light switch at the full moon. For the last time, you are not dead, far from it, , and finally, I am not your friendly uncle Gerald, though I don't have the papers to back that one up, so maybe we should leave that one unanswered. Happy now?"
At that moment, the security guards who had been eying them suspiciously a paragraph or two ago, looked at Neo. Neo looked back at them. It happened to be a very bad idea to start a staring contest, and they started to chase the three heroes. Of course, the guards had no idea who they were, so they chased them up stairs, down stairs, up ladders and down snakes until the trio took refuge by diving through a small door.
The surroundings were strangely white. When Trinity and Morpheus got up they both groaned softly.
"Oh that's it, enter through my door and I save you from mad, bad security guards, but you can't stop complaining."
Neo thought it was time to do what he did best. " Who are you? Why am I here? What? How?"
"This is the shop of metaphors," whispered Trinity "It is a-"
"I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW! I AM THE SHOP!"
"So are you the shop metaphorically, or are you actually the shop?"
"I am the shop!" the shop repeated. "I like double meanings, similes, metaphors and symbolism. I also enjoy daytime television."
Neo coughed. It sounded strangely like "MAGIC!"
Trinity had a coughing fit. It sounded strangely like "OH MY GOD WE CAN'T KICK THE ASS OFF A SHOP WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?"
Morpheus had a coughing fit. It sounded strangely like " LETS BEAT IT AT IT'S OWN GAME AND CONFUSE IT WITH PHILOSOPHICAL CRAP, THEN RUN AWAY!"
The other two nodded their agreement. "Can you step in the same river twice?" Neo asked the shop.
"Are you asking me metaphorically or scientifically? I assume your asking me metaphorically I would have to say no."
"Your getting mixed up in the questions in the metaphor, not the metaphors in the question." Said Morpheus. "Why no?"
"No, because a river is always changing, each time you step into it the stones are rearranged a different way or the water has mover or so forth, meaning it's not the same bit of water."
"Are you referring to a river in the matrix or a river in the real world though? Asked Trinity (she had taken a degree in computer science crossed with philosophy at university. Now a nearly non existent course, it its only taught in the French alps by a wise monk named Exodus Shakespeare Winalot, the only man in the world to be named after a book in the bible, a literacy genius, and a make of dog food.)
"Because," pressed Trinity, " If your talking about a river in the matrix, it never was real in the first place, meaning the water and stones you speak of never actually existed in the first place either."
The shop was silent then "errr"
Then something dawned on Neo. He remembered a book he had read on philosophy at school " Yeah and there's another theory that we don't actually exist, and we're all living in a computer program." Two faces and a shop were silent. Two faces and a shop then suddenly cracked up laughing
The noise was enough to attract the sixty plus security guards rooting around for them outside to run against the door all at once, and the door sprung open, and sixty security guards ran in to find nothing.
It is a curious but little known fact, that most metaphorical shops have back doors. On the other hand, it was a metaphorical shop, and maybe what happened in this chapter only represented what really happened. Mind hurting? Philosophy can do that to you.
Ok thank you for reading. It should be said at this point that "I won't bother really reviewing, I'll just metaphorically review" is just not good enough. Reviews are lovely. So please do actually review. Please...