Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any of it's characters. I do, however, have seasons one and two on DVD.
Disclaimer 2: For the guest who was checking hourly, I post once per week. Look for this sometime late Monday to early Tuesday.
:}
The drive home was a blur, and it was probably a miracle she got home without hitting something or someone, what with the tear still in her eyes and her mind miles away. But she did get home, somehow, and went straight to her room, ignoring everything around her. The door slammed and she fell on the bed.
Once more, Jade allowed herself to cry. "I broke her." She said with heaving breath, rolling on the bed, arms flailing to emphasis each point. "I took the sweet, forgiving Latina and ripped away her reason to be happy. No wonder she decided to date Beck. She did it to get a little revenge on me. And the attitude probably cost her that contract she had with Neutronium." Jade was reaching for another facial tissue to wipe her eyes. She stopped talking to herself, but her thoughts continued. 'She wound up teaching, and then moved back here. Why? I know it was my fault, just not why?' Her thoughts would continue along those lines as she stopped moving, allowing herself to drown in regret, filling in the blanks on what might have happened as she went. Each iteration brought new ways for her to blame herself for what Tori had gone through, while Tori's suffering grew worse and worse.
She woke up around eight to the sound of pounding on her door. "Boss, you okay?" She heard Cory call to her. "You'd better answer, cause I've already called Stan. Now open up and lets talk this out."
"Go away." Jade called to her groundskeeper.
"Ice cream or vodka, whatever you need, just let me know and I'll get it for you." Cory tried again, his voice carried just how concerned he really was, despite the muffling of both the door and the pillow over her head.
Jade felt like crap, but she had to admit Cory was trying to take care of her. She just didn't want to be taken care of. Not at that moment. Removing the pillow from it's place over her face, she called out. "I don't need ice cream, or alcohol, or..." She froze right there. 'He called Stan? How long...' The writer found her voice again. "How long ago?"
"What?" Cory asked. "How long ago what?"
"How long ago did you call Stan?" The writer asked.
"Maybe five to ten minutes." The groundskeeper replied. "You were still crying, and didn't respond when I asked if you were okay." There was a pause. "By the time came to check on you, you'd been crying for a while, so I called him for advice." his voice shifted again, softer, but still loud enough to be heard. "I'm not comfortable with this. I-I thought things were getting better."
"Things got complicated." Jade called out, then went silent. Cory took a few moments, hoping his boss, his friend, his sister, would talk to him. When all he got was silence, he then retreated to the living room to wait for the cavalry.
It was maybe ten minutes later when Stan arrived, and he'd brought Marge. The older couple settled into the living room, questioning Cory about what had happened before he called them. Once they were sure they had as much as they were going to get out of the groundskeeper, Marge went to Jade room.
The door was open. Not just as in unlocked, but open so the motherly figure could clearly see Jade standing on the balcony, staring out into the night.
"You know, that was always the problem with this house." Marge said as she entered. "Your balcony looks into the back yard. Not the best view of the city lights."
"I didn't need to see the city, not from my bedroom." Jade informed her. "I wanted to see my kingdom. The lonely place where I ruled."
"It is a nice house." The older woman said. Jade could almost feel the warm, motherly smile Marge was giving her.
"I visited a nice house today." Jade said, the shift seemingly coming out of nowhere. "Twice. Tori lives with her sister, and the sister has a nice house. Six bedrooms, seven baths, three of them full bathrooms. But it's not the size, or the bedrooms, or even the yard that makes it so nice."
Jade turned slowly, not sure she wanted to look her guest in the face, fearing that she might not like what she saw. "Trina's married, and she and her husband have two small children." Risking being judged, the writer looked her mother figure in the eye. "Trina has the luxury to be a stay at home mom, even does light stay at home work to feel connected to the adult world. But the real thing there was how relaxed, how open Trina was." Jade said, taking the long way to get to her point. "She's happy, and it's because she doesn't have to wonder if someone loves her."
Marge's first answer was to envelope Jade in a hug. That was all she did for a good thirty seconds, just holding her surrogate daughter, before finally speaking. "Is that what you've been missing? I know you're parents didn't do a good job letting you know, but people do love you. Beck loved you, and even though you're not our child, Stan and I love you."
"I'm paying for you to put your grandchildren through collage." The writer said, her voice muffled by the hug.
"The point is, you're loved. By a lot of people. So why the tears? It's not to late to find yourself someone, and have that family." Marge reassured her.
"Tori didn't want to talk to me." Jade said, her voice having flattened out, devoid of emotion for the moment. "I realized that everything that had happened to her, it was my fault. She dated Beck, a relationship that didn't last, and it didn't because I damaged her so much for the two plus years before that."
"You can't know that." marge started.
"She as much as told me." Jade snapped, pulling herself out of the warm, comforting hug. "She said she didn't want me lording my success over them, and told them I was a monster. That I would hurt them, like I hurt her." The actress was on the verge of tears again, but held them in, allowing her self hate to control her for now.
"Did she say you were the reason she lost her recording contract?" Marge asked, trying to give the goth her distance, but staying protectively close.
"Not specifically, but it tracks." The writer replied. "She couldn't trust because of me, so she couldn't give Beck what he wanted. They broke up, and then, with no one to help or support her, she acquired an attitude. That didn't go over well with the executives at Neutronium, so they started looking for a reason to cancel her contract. She doesn't sell up to predictions, thus giving them their excuse and they cancel her contract. Then she's alone, left to fend for herself with no one wanting to take a risk on a diva with an attitude, but no proven track record. She becomes a teacher, in San Francisco, probably because she remembered how much fun Sikowitz was. But you don't always get Hollywood Arts, and most kids are cruel to their teachers. So she quits, moves to LA, and gets a job here, but she's angry, bitter, all because of what I did."
"That's the problem with writers." Marge said, smiling a warm, amused smile. "You've been sitting here, wallowing in your misery, writing her entire life story without looking up one single fact."
"I know the facts." Jade snapped. Marge just gave her the most loving, patient glare she'd ever experienced. "I know enough."
"Where's your laptop?" The older woman asked. "Or can we go into the computer room, take a look on that monster you got for those on line games you used to play."
Jade walked into her room and retrieved her laptop. Marge flipped on the light for the balcony. "What? I think it's a lovely night, and we should get some use out of this wonderful balcony. Also, I want to admire your kingdom." Again that warm smile broke through.
"Okay, Pearpeadia doesn't have anything on her." Jade grumbled as she opened the Tori Vega page.
"It looks like it has quite a bit. Name, date of birth, and look, apparently she'd a lesbian." Marge pointed out as she read the quick facts. "That would explain her moving to Frisco."
"What about West Hollywood?" The writer replied, then dropped the question. "But it doesn't explain why she moved back, or why she was so upset."
"Well you did mention West Hollywood and...Oh my, apparently there's more." The motherly woman said, scanning the bottom of the page. "It seems she gave up her contract to Neutronium, but didn't stop making music."
"Let me see that." Jade almost pushed the old woman out of her way, barely holding back. "Spanish language recordings? It says here that Tori released a Spanish language album a couple of years ago, and a couple of other original songs since then. All on line." A momentary look of confusion smoothed then wrinkled her face. "So she's still recording. But, if she's found success as a singer, why does she teach? And why was she so wazzed at me?"
"Maybe she had a bad day." Marge said. "You said it yourself, some times, teaching is harder then you'd expect. As for why she became a teacher, didn't Tony Danza become a teacher towards the end of his acting career?"
"That was for a reality show, and he wrote a book about it." Jade informed her. "But yea, maybe she really wanted to work with kids." She was calmer now, feeling loved, and a lot less of her self hate. "God, I was such a monster in High school."
"I blame your parents." Marge said unapologetically. Jade looked at her, trying to let the older woman know how much she wanted that subject dropped. "Oh don't give me that look. You know how I feel about them."
Jade just let out a big sigh. "I'm going to be watching Cat and Robbie's kids this Friday. Any advice?"
"First, don't change the subject." There was that warm, motherly smile. "But, if we're moving on, then fine. First, clear your schedule. Get whatever you want to get done fist. You won't have time to do things while watching the kids. Then make them a simple but nutritious home cooked meal. They'll appreciate the effort." Marge advised.
"They're six and three." Jade said.
"Then they won't appreciate the effort. Just don't let them stay up too late. I'll have Cory prepare a room for them to sleep in, and get the covers ready for the pool and jacuzzi." Marge said, giving Jade another hug. "Come, lets let the men folk know your okay."
"You know whats funny." The writer said as they walked towards the living room. "Tori hating me hit harder then Beck moving on."
"Then maybe it's a good thing she's a lesbian." The older woman said, smiling.
Jade didn't ask what Marge meant, instead choosing to spend some time with her new family. The parental figures she'd found, a retired financial crimes police officer turned manager turned surrogate father, and his wife, mother turned secretary turned surrogate mother. Then there was Cory, small time drug dealer turned personal assistant turned groundskeeper turned surrogate little brother. There was a warmth there amongst these people who should be nothing more then employes. Jade had her family. 'It's better. It fills my heart, but it's still not enough.' She thought.
The next day, Jade got back to work. She wrote through the day, taking breaks to enjoy the sun, or get lunch, or even check in on whatever Cory was doing. It was a relaxing day with no time spent thinking about lost opportunities or the sins of the past. She'd have time enough to deal with both later. At four in the afternoon, her alarm went off, and she looked up something on the Hollywood Arts web sight. Then she pushed herself to finish the section she was on of the story she was working on.
She left just before five that evening, her destination someplace she'd only been to a couple of times in her life, but someplace she had to go tonight. Her GPS guided her along back roads, around most of the traffic. While it took longer then she'd intended, the writer still arrived at her destination by five thirty. The apartment building looked just the way it had years ago.
The actress walked towards the building, and the door she wanted, with a purpose built of change. She was changing, letting go of that obsession that had helped her win two Oscars, but also robed her of the joy of life. As she approached the door, she thought 'Please let him be alone.' She knocked, and waited.
"It's open." Came a voice she'd recognize anywhere, even after all these years. She turned the handle and pushed the door open to see her high school acting teacher sitting on the row of chairs he called a couch.
"Sikowitz, it's been years." She tried to sound casual, but inside she started to worry about what this man, a man who helped shape her, was thinking. He'd not only given her the tools she'd need as an actress, but he'd shown her what it takes, sometimes, for a director to get a good performance out of their actors. Now, she'd come back, with her supposedly impressive list of accomplishments, and Jade was worried that he wouldn't approve. 'It was never about the accomplishments. Not with him.' she reminded herself.
"Jade?" The aging educator asked. "Jade West? Great Gandhi, it's been years. Hope things are going well for you."
"Mostly." The actress replied. "Or rather, if we just count my work, things are going swimmingly. I won my second Oscar..."
The teacher paled, looking at his guest for just a moment before leaping out if the chair and then over it. He grabbed a pillow, and put it, as well as his makeshift couch, between himself and the writer. Then, in a shaky voice, he asked. "Black Monday was you're Second Oscar?" His eyes never left her, as he placed his large window at his back.
"Yea." Jade started.
"Who've you talked to so far?" Sikowitz asked, his tone emphasizing the urgency of the question. His body was tensed, ready to run, and Jade knew he could take that window out if he so chose.
"Everyone." The actress said. "Andre, Beck, Sinjin, Robbie, Cat, Trina then Tori."
"You've spoken to Tori?" He asked, stepping out from behind the pillow. He'd visibly calmed down, but was still cautious. And his couch was still between him and Jade.
"Technically yes." She said, then her face fell for a moment. "She really didn't want to talk to me, so I kinda left."
"And your feeling better now?" The coconut lover asked.
"Yes, already, I'm okay." Jade replied, pulling herself together. "Whats with the crazy reactions?" She looked at him as he studied her. "Did Beck call you?"
"No, but he should have." Sikowitz replied.
"Then how'd you..." Her voice faded out.
"I get visions, remember." He reminded her.
"The same visions that gave us Trina?" Jade countered.
"The same Trina that gave us Tori." He countered back. "Tori would never have made the music she did if she didn't go to Hollywood Arts. And she wouldn't have been a teacher, since she thought she wanted to go into science. Instead, I have a freshman drama and voice teacher who also teaches a couple of units of writing. Someone who will, one day, morph into the perfect well connected and prepared successor to teach my class. You know, when I retire."
The drama teacher moved back around his 'Couch' and took a seat. "Of course, I didn't know what she'd wind up doing. We often can't see the wisdom of the coconut until years after, once events have had their chance to sort themselves out. But now I know who's going to take over for me when I retire. All that's left of that class is..." His voice trailed off as he looked at his most successful student.
Jade opened her mouth to speak, but she was still processing what she'd heard. Nothing made sense, and she couldn't fathom that her favorite teacher was reacting to something he'd seen in a coconut inspire vision years ago. It was hard enough believing the visions he got weren't all hallucinations. But for him to have a clue what was going on... Her mind couldn't seem to accept that. Not yet.
"Of course, you don't see everything. Sometimes you don't see anything, but you know somethings happening, and you do what you have to in order to get the results you want." He continued. "Like you not being a walking inferno of rage when you came to see me, after Tori chewed you a new one for treating her like garbage."
"So, you know why I'm here?" Jade asked, still a little confused.
"Not one clue." He said. "Care to fill me in?"
"Really?" Jade asked, "Cause I'm sure one of them would have talked to you by now."
"You mean Beck?" The older educator asked.
"Yea." She confirmed.
"We talk, but not as regularly as you might think." Sikowitz began. "It's important for a great teacher, like a great director, to develop their own style. He may ask me for advice about a difficult student, or just call to let me know his offspring had managed some milestone or another, but for the most part, he's living his own life. He wouldn't have given me a heads up unless he thought I was somehow involved. He respects peoples privacy like that."
"And I don't?" Her voice took on a dangerous tone as she felt her old self, the one from back at Hollywood Arts, assert itself for the first time in years.
"Sometimes it's the right thing to do, sometimes it's not." The older man said. He remained calm, almost bored, like he knew how everything was going to play out and was just playing his part. "What matters is, you're not the same person as back in high school. No one is. So tell me, why have you come running to teacher?"
"It's funny, in a way." Jade started. "I was looking for what I was missing, the reason that fame, money, and success wasn't making me happy. I looked up my high school friends, and found out that most of them were happy, but not why I wasn't."
The actress moved to look her mentor in the eye as he motioned for her to continue. "But I got my answer, from the people I hurt, and the things that hurt me. No, I came here to say thank you, for all the time and effort you put in. I was so jealous of how much you seemed to do for Tori, I missed how much you were doing for me." The actress stood up, needing to pace, to explain. "Take, foer example, what I did for Tori. Every time I helped Tori, it was tinged with venom, so she wouldn't realize I was doing something nice. Either I expected something in return, or it looked like more of my shenanigans. She still doesn't know I ever helped her."
"But I do." Sikowitz said. "Pushing someone off a forty foot ledge usually isn't a nice thing, but you helped her overcome her fears. But the Gorilla club, that was the master stroke. Goading her into going, allowing her to take risks, was one of the nicest things you've done for her."
"Yea..." Jade looked down. "If only she didn't act so gankish when I was trying to see where Beck was, I'd have stopped before she faced the gorilla."
"And lose the lesson?" The aging teacher said. "Tori may have lost that part, but what she gained helped her stand up for herself. It's one of the reasons she could walk away from Neutronium. You helped her learn to take risks, to stand up for herself, and to be strong in the face of adversity. Now, tell me, when you visited the others, what did you learn?"
"That money and success doesn't mean happiness, but struggling can get in the way." The goth said. "Cat and Robbie are struggling, and while it made him a calmer, more centered man, Cat just wasn't ready. As a result, their marriage suffered."
"So if they'd had more success, then they'd be happier?" The educator asked.
"Pressure from mounting debt, or feelings of failure can make small problems seem much bigger." The writer said. "It's why I'm going to help them out."
"How?" He asked.
"I'm watching their kids this Friday night, so they can go out on a date." Jade replied. "Then on Saturday, they're going to look at distressed properties, and I'm going to lend Robbie the money to buy one. He'll pay back what he can until it's their home."
"All so they can have the kind of life you think they deserve?" Sikowitz asked. "It might work. Cat and Robbie will have to be willing to work on their problems, the house won't fix that, but it might give them better control over their money. The babysitting, however, that could go a long way towards helping them...Wait, Saturday?"
"Yea." Jade replied.
"But Saturday is the Sophomore sleepover." The quirky teacher said. "Now I'll have to find someone else to co-chaperone."
"What?" Jade asked.
"The sleepover." He said. "You know, where I get a group of my best students, and we have them all assume wacky characters, then they try to stay in character for the party at my place. As they break character, they're ejected. I usually have it here, but now I include a second faculty so that we have both genders covered. It's safer that way, no one thinks anything improper is going on. And with my nephew not staying here, the guest room's available for the second teacher to sleep in if the students last long enough."
"And me babysitting impacts that how?" The director asked.
"I can't explain, just know that it does. Also, you'll probably have a sixth for the Saturday trip." The educator said, starting to pace. "Why didn't I realize 'Black Monday' was your second Oscar. Things are moving fast now. Jade, call if you have any problems, don't be a stranger, and please get out. I have a lot to do before the weekend." He started walking her towards the door. "It was lovely to see you again. My how you've changed. Good day, and remember, I don't see everything. These changes in you, I thought you'd get them from what comes next, but maybe it's those changes that causes you to get it. Stay calm, and know it's all right."
The door closed, and Jade found herself outside her favorite teachers apartment, alone again. 'One of these days, this is going to make... Who am I kidding, he almost never makes sense.' She stalked to her car, and drove home.
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I hope this chapter made sense to you. Yea, sometimes it's fun to play with Sikowitz's visions. This was one of them, and it does kinda explain Trina in Hollywood Arts. I know, it's an argument I've used before, but it's a good one.
So now, you get to tell me, what did you think? Jade's got some issues left over, and they stem from her need for love. But for now, I let her self hate get the better of her. Most people have that, in some degree. Add in a writers mind, and this was what I came up with. Thoughts? Also, Cory's offer, what'd ya think? I originally was going to include hookers, but that didn't fit that moment. Also, what did you think about the way Marge handled Jade?
Does anyone need West Hollywood explained?