First, thanks for reading! Your comments have talked me away from the delete button several times. Thanks so much; I do read them all. So, without further ado…
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I'm on call, to be there.
One and all, to be there.
And When you fall, to pieces.
Lord you know, I'll be there waiting.
To be there.
To be there.
I'm gon' brawl, so be there.
One for all, I'll be there.
And when they fall, to pieces.
I'd come a running.
-Kings of Leon
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BellaPOV
With an exasperated sigh, I rolled over again. The soft glow of the moon shone through the curtain. It was dipping low in the sky. I knew because the light became fainter and grayer as it dropped behind the curtain of trees. Inching slowly for the horizon, it was ready to switch shifts with the sun. I was ready, too.
I took another deep breath, wishing again that my mind could just leave all of this alone— locked away where I wanted it.
I'd been successful each night before at keeping the wreck from my mind. But I'd also had the help of oxycodone. My prescription ran out yesterday. And seeing Jasper tonight hadn't helped. It had just brought all the images, and questions and emotions to the surface.
Each time I neared the edge of sleep it was the same. These thoughts that I kept locked away demanded to be seen. Here in this limbo between sleep and waking, my mind would force them to the front. Pieces of wreck would blur behind my eyes like a movie in fast motion.
Jacob. Blood. Rain. Mud. Phone. Charlie. Message. Blank. Throbbing. Jasper. Fear. Jasper. Bleeding. Jasper. Scream. Jasper. Safe. Jasper. Blank.
It slowed and switched to slow motion over the parts that seemed of particular significance to my subconscious.
Dark and smoldering with terror, Jasper's eyes as he reached for me that final moment before the truck ignited. The raw grate of his voice as he hollered for Jacob to get us out, the formidable strength of his cold arms— arms that could crush me if tightened too much, arms that could destroy in the blink of my human eye. But they were strong and protecting, an unexpected defense around me as the world whirled in fire and fast motion. He cradled my head to him with such surprising care, with such restraint and strength.
Then my mind inserted, keeping to chronological order, the tidbits Tyler had shared about Jasper holding me when he'd arrived, and riding with me in the back of the ambulance. And the realization the Cullens had left, but Jasper had stayed behind. But then— then my minds eye would pause on the image of his eyes at the hospital— dark and ominous, frightening and intriguing. They communicated everything I was afraid of.
I snapped my eyes open in frustration. Sighing, once again, I tossed off the blankets, careful not to disturb Renee, who, I noted, was still sleeping soundly. Shivering against the chill of night, I shrugged on a thin wool robe and headed to the kitchen to make Charlie's coffee and to have a cup myself. I glanced over my shoulder at the neon red glow of the clock. It blinked at 12:00.
I considered, as I prepared the coffee, what it really was that bothered me so much. I really wanted to sort through it all so I could put it behind me.
Was it simply that Jasper had been involved? If it had been someone else, anyone else, I would be dwelling on the fact that I'd almost died in a car wreck, not on who had pulled me out of the truck. It seemed like an obligatory thing anyone would do for someone they knew who was in trouble. But anyone didn't snap at the first sign of blood; anyone wasn't risking more than just his life to save someone they should care nothing about; anyone simply wasn't Jasper.
With the coffee set to brew, and no appetite to appease, my mind fixed on what had happened last night. The man who'd been standing in that foyer dripping with stories I wanted to believe were lies.
I was a rational person… most of the time. Maybe exclude last night. So, there was a rational way to sort through all of this. A rational explanation for what was occurring in the world around me.
So, I began with what I knew for a fact.
I knew…I knew that… What did I know for a fact?
My brain was sluggish with lack of sleep. I breathed in thankfully when the coffee pot signaled it was finished brewing with a soft beep. I filled my mug, Forks PD, then reached in the fridge for my favorite Coffee-Mate: Pumpkin Spice. Also known as Thanksgiving in a cup. Sipping, I grabbed a pen from the catch-all drawer and a pad of paper. I wrote fact and fiction and drew a line to separate them. Ok, so…
Fact:
-Jacob cut my face.
-Jasper paid for a surgeon.
-I was in a wreck and almost died.
-Jasper pulled me out of the truck.
-People are being murdered mysteriously throughout the state.
-Jasper tried to convince me to evacuate with him.
I scanned the list. Hmm... There was a definite pattern there. I decided to work on the other side. I drummed my pen, staring at the word fiction. I tried to remember what exactly had pushed me to that anger last night. What had pissed me off so thoroughly?
Was it that he really and truly frightened me? He'd always been a bit of a mystery. The Cullen standing in the shadows, who was dangerous and shouldn't come too close. I'd never been alone with him before last week. I'd never had more than a couple sentences worth of conversation with him either.
Or perhaps it was that I felt completely on edge anytime he was around. Like something about him made my emotional circuits go haywire. I couldn't think straight, I couldn't sort through emotion and thought to be logical.
Maybe it was that I really and truly believed he killed those people outside Forks. I mean, he disappeared for a week. Why else would he have stayed away like that, and then showed up out of the blue a week later? He had to take care of some things? Like maybe his appetite?
And maybe, if I was being completely honest with myself, the fact that he cared at all about what happened to me struck something long twisted and embittered. This part of me I locked away to fester, I had built walls around to keep people out and he had no regard for my walls. He reached around them and wrecked havoc with my mind and emotions. So much had happened in so little time. How's a girl supposed to deal with all of that, and still react rationally to irrational news?
I retraced fiction and set to work.
Fiction:
-Vampires are responsible for the murders.
-Jasper has changed, and is in control of himself.
-Jasper can be trusted.
I looked at those three sentences. Why exactly did I think he wasn't worthy of my trust? Hadn't he put his own immortal life in danger for me… on more than one occasion? I remembered the event then, that had set this whole alternate universe in motion. This wasn't the way my life was supposed to turn out. Jasper's actions at my birthday had all but guaranteed the Cullens departure and my unhappiness.
My own words echoed in my head in further response.
I know you, Jasper. Don't ever forget that. I know about the innumerable people you've killed. I know about those scars on your arms. I know that if the Cullens left you behind, they probably had a really good reason. I know you killed those people.
Oh yeah.
I cringed inwardly, remembering the harsh cut of my tone. I went back to the fact side of my list and added a few things.
-Jasper has killed a lot of people.
-Jasper doesn't hold the aversion to killing the others had.
-Two people were killed outside Forks in his absence.
-Jasper disappeared when all the murders started.
-The Cullens left Jasper behind.
-Jasper has tried to kill me before.
I paused then added.
-Jasper has saved my life before.
I choked on a sharp intake of breath as I jumped, startled. Charlie came striding around the corner in his red flannel. He jumped too.
"Bella." He paused, relaxing from being startled and looking down at my notepad as I flipped it over in haste. "What are you doing up?" He looked at me with that same intense scrutiny I'd been uncomfortable under the night before. His eyes lingered at my hand.
"Uh, couldn't sleep." I quickly stated with a smile. "You going fishing?"
"Yeah, thanks for the coffee." He filled a mug, then turned back, his eyes flickering to my hand. "What were you doing?"
"Uh… well… just trying to sort through some things," I laughed nervously, praying he wouldn't press it.
He was silent as he drained his mug slowly as we remained in uncomfortable silence.
"Well, I'm going to go get ready." He mumbled, poured the grains out into the sink and rinsed his mug. He strode quickly for the door, then halted and spun around. His eyes fixed at the notepad once again.
"Where'd you get that?" He point a weathered finger out at my hand.
"What?" I asked, confused, and wondering what he was talking about. "The notepad? My hand?" I laughed looking up at him for clarification.
"No, the scar."
The words sank through my ears and down into my stomach like a heavy brick. My heart raced as I searched for something to say.
"Uh…" I blurted out the first thing that entered my mind, "It's from a few years ago, when I broke my leg. I think I cut it on glass or something." I shrugged trying very hard to look convincing. I wanted to hide my hand. Sit on it, or anything just to get Charlie's eyes off of it.
"Hm." It sounded like a statement. But thankfully he said nothing more and turned and left the kitchen. I let out a breath, that I hadn't realized I was holding.
I folded the list carefully and tucked it in my pocket.
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One day passed. Then two. Then three and before I knew it a whole week had come and gone. I didn't hear from or see Jasper in that time leading up to my return to work and school. It unnerved me— not hearing from him again after that night, so work and school were welcome distractions.
The Fork, the local diner Charlie and I had frequented, occupied my Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays. On the remaining weekdays, I drove to Port Angeles to go to community college. The plan was to just get my basics, and then transfer somewhere else, if I chose to. I really couldn't think past this semester. It's like I just can't imagine where my life would go after this. A University— I couldn't imagine leaving. Or staying in Forks and my life continuing as it is now…forever? Neither really seemed right.
But, resuming my normal activities had been good. I was going stir crazy being locked in my house with Renee and Charlie. Yeah, my truck was totaled, so no car. I walked to work since it was sunny. I'd have to figure out what I was going to do. Charlie driving me to and from school really wasn't feasible long-term.
I pressed my palm to the glass, watching the halo of fog form around it. Small rain drops glistened on the other side of the pane. It had been an especially sunny week. Almost everyday we had sunshine. It definitely did wonders for my mood. This day couldn't decide which it wanted to be: sunny or rainy. They warred back and forth, gaining and losing ground. The sun pierced a grey cloud and sent golden light across the small town street. A shiny black motorcycle caught my eye where it was parked in front of the impound office next to the police station down at the end of the block. I wiped away the fog to get a better look.
"Bella!" I jumped, turning around quickly, "Could you get the mop and clean up that spill near the door?" Carlos, the owner and Charlie's long time friend, asked over a steaming stack of pancakes, "Oh wait, never mind, I forgot. Lauren! Clean up the mess in the front!" He called over his shoulder to Lauren, who was scowling through squinted eyes at me. She'd never particularly cared for me, well actually I'm pretty sure she'd always hated me, but this just gave her more reason. She kept getting stuck with tasks I was capable of completing but Carlos wouldn't let me.
"I got it." Angela came through the door with a gust of wind that was cool and warm all at the same time. She discarded her books behind the counter and quickly tied her black apron around her trim waist. Specks of water droplets glistened in her raven hair. She gave me a bright smile and a wink as she reached for the mop.
I glanced back over my shoulder searching for the motorcycle, but it was gone. I wondered absently if it was his. I moved out of Angela's way and stepped around the counter. I took the tray of clean silverware and began rolling sets into soft white napkins.
"You look good." Angela commented sweetly, wringing the mop out. I smiled in response.
I was good; I had healed very quickly. The doctor was surprised when he pulled the bandage off my face to reveal fresh, rewoven, skin. It was still upraised and discolored, but they assured me it would continue to fade. I guess that's the benefit of a world-class surgeon. It made me a little sick when I thought about how much Jasper must have paid for the doctor, to make him fly out from whatever world class facility he normally operated in, so I did my best not to think about it.
I stood, leaning over the yellowed Formica counter, staring out into the glimpse of golden light. The rays danced in the front window, casting ripples off a puddle on the sidewalk and across the cream interior wall.
The crowd had ebbed after the lunch rush and Carlos wouldn't let me help with any of the usual janitorial tasks. I ran out of silverware quickly, and started re-rolling just to keep my hands busy. The news I'd heard just this morning was on my mind in repeat.
After the period of unprecedented serial homicides, the state has not reported any more by the group associated with the Razor Murders within the past 48hrs. The police have apprehended those associated with the crimes. We'll have more at 8.
The media, and police, of course, had several people they were pinning the streak on, most of whom were ex-cons with particularly dark backgrounds and menacing faces. Their grimaces were plastered across every police station, newspaper and TV screen. So, I guess Jasper had, in fact, been wrong about the whole thing.
I traced the scarred slit at my hand. The mark I'd heard the news anchors report on again and again. I reminded myself of the vital difference: teeth, not a razor blade, had left mine.
The entire thing made very little sense to me. The authorities had said that it was all the work of mastermind serial killers. But everything Jasper had said… what reason had he to lie? In the heat of the moment, I'd just not wanted to believe him. I'd wanted to shut down that horrifying possibility and I thought, mistakenly, the way to do that was to catalog all of his faults. Like somehow that could make what he was saying less true.
I hid my flushing face in my hands. He saved my life, and apparently in Bella-land the repayment for such a noble rescue was getting your nose rubbed in all your mistakes. I was beyond ashamed of myself. The look on his face when I'd said all of those things…
"You look pretty burdened," Angela commented. I peaked through my fingers at her, my face still burning in shame. She swept the old mop back and forth with a soft squeak against the tile. I watched her methodical movement. I rested my chin in my hands to answer her.
"Oh, it's nothing." I shrugged my shoulders, attempting a smile.
"It's never nothing, Bella." She paused leaning on the old wooden handle of the mop and looking up at me. She rested her face on her hand as she studied me.
"Does it have to do with Jacob? Or… Edward's brother?" she pressed, her eyes watching mine with sympathetic interest. I noted the absence of the usual stab of pain at Edward's name.
"Both I guess. I miss Jake, of course. But I'm ok without him, you know? But Jasper… I don't know why he's here. Or…" I couldn't put words to my thoughts. I didn't really know what I thought about the whole mess, let alone how to translate it to someone else who couldn't understand all the dynamics they were oblivious to.
"Or… if you can trust him?" she finished for me, her brow furrowed.
She had no idea. I didn't answer but fiddled with the hem of my black shirt. It had a silver fork screen printed on the front.
"Your life is so exciting." Angela's face beamed as if she truly envied the train wreck that was my sorry excuse for a life. I let out a breath in response that sounded something like "Pffft." If she wanted to trade lives, I would be happy more than happy to oblige.
"I want to see him again," she added with a new hint of awe in her voice as she resumed mopping. "I always thought he was… the cutest Cullen." She laughed at herself and didn't look up to meet my eyes.
"I never really noticed him," I added truthfully.
She snorted as she looked up in disbelief, and then realized why I hadn't noticed anyone else. She smiled sadly, finishing up with a slap of the mop on the gleaming tiles.
"Although… there is something to be said for sweet, short guys with glasses." She giggled describing her boyfriend Ben. I rolled my eyes good-naturedly and took the mop from her and headed to wash it in the back. As I came through the green curtain dividing the kitchen and the front diner I ran straight into Lauren as she was rushing out with plates heaped with food.
"SHH—" I shouted trying to dodge her at the last moment, but instead ended up whacking her with the mop, and then tripping over her and landing in a twisted mess on the floor. "—It" I finished and rolled off of her. I tried to help her up, but she jerked her arm away. Two plates were smashed against her chest, and her eyes, filled with anger, were as round as the plates. I had to bite my tongue to keep the bubbles of laughter at bay as she tried to brush mashed potatoes out of her hair. She, however, looked less than amused.
"You better watch it, Swan." She shoved past me to the bathroom, and I burst into laughter as she turned the corner. Angela's high-pitched peels bounced off the walls in chorus with mine.
"Swan?" she snorted as we started gaining control of ourselves, but that just sent us back into fits of laughter.
"Take a seat anywhere." We heard Carlos subtle accent as he seated a new customer.
"GIRLS!" he unceremoniously shouted from the front. Yep, we're very professional. We tried to get a hold of ourselves; not looking at each other was the only option.
Angela scurried through the curtain, and I set to work cleaning up the mess. Not two seconds later, she came bursting through the curtain her face alight with some momentary excitement. I tossed a stray pork chop into the trash and stood up to see what was up.
"What? Why do you look like that?" I chuckled. "Did that hot guy from UPS come in again?" I laughed again remembering how giddy she had acted over that handsome man. She could hardly speak for grinning so hard. Not that I was much smoother, I think I took his entire order one time without saying a single word.
"Uh… Out there." She managed, still grinning. I raised my eyebrows and pushed the curtain aside, looking for the source of her excitement. I scanned the room for a brown uniform, but instead saw someone unexpected.
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JasperPOV
I glanced up at the sky before hurrying out of the office to my waiting truck. The day had been peppered with showers and sunshine. It was an ongoing battle between clouds and sun. Currently the day was nicely overcast.
"Don't worry about it. I've got it." I said over my shoulder to the attendant as he offered to help me with the bike. I hoisted it easily into the bed of my truck, trying to make it look a little difficult. I slammed the bed door after smoothly settling the Ducati in the back. I turned back to the attendant whose eyes had grown wide. I guess I wasn't a very good actor.
"Nice bike," he muttered in awe, eyes still round.
"Thanks," I offered over my shoulder and slid into the musty cab. It seemed like such a long time ago that I'd last been in this truck. Time, for the most part, had lost meaning to me long ago. Hours slip by and days transform to decades and it goes on and on from there. Time passes, and it never affected me very much, but these two weeks had stretched to encompass so much. The future yawned dark and overwhelming before me, but, at least now, I knew I had somewhere to go, someone on my side.
I slammed on the breaks, and hissed reflexively. A girl went darting across the dreary street as the sky decided to douse the surfaces just warmed by the sun.
She waved absently over her shoulder and burst through the door of a small restaurant. I started slowly driving off, but caught sight of a certain dark-haired girl standing in the window. I pulled into a parallel spot on the street. I watched her turn back towards the window, glance over her shoulder as if she were looking for something then turn and walk away.
I sat there a moment, wondering if she'd cause a huge scene if I went in. I hadn't signed up for the first round of abasement, and wondered if I was volunteering for round two by going in. I decided she'd probably control herself in front of other people. Really, this was probably the best way to let her know I was still here, without seeking her out individually again. That had definitely been a bad idea. But I wanted her to know that I hadn't just left. I didn't know why I wanted her to trust me, and know my word meant something. Maybe because I had promised my life away, and now my job as to ensure she didn't get herself killed. And this job would require cooperation from her. But, so far, it seemed she was hell bent on withholding that trust.
I steeled myself, waiting a moment there in the truck. I pretended I was checking to make sure the clouds would hold, but really, I was just preparing for her to debase me again. I had to be ready, too, for the jumbled mess of her emotions. That was one really strange thing about her, I couldn't seem to make heads or tails of what she was feeling, or reliably influence her. I can't say that's ever happened before, shouldn't be a surprise. She has been anomaly since we were first introduced to her. But I hadn't had this much difficulty with her in the past. Some people are harder to read and therefore manipulate, but she was just an onslaught of chaos, but, in truth, the few times I had spent in her presence lately had been otherwise emotionally charged.
I exited the truck, and got misted with cool rain. Pushing the door of the restaurant open with a quiet jingle, I was greeted and seated by a kindly looking older Hispanic man.
"Girls!" he shouted and I listened for Bella's shuffling footfall. Another girl, the girl who had run in front of my truck, came walking up, searching in her apron for a notepad. As she looked up, her eyes bugged and recognition dawned in them.
"Uh…" she trailed off, staring open-mouthed.
"Hi," I said, smiling slightly and reciprocating the grin spreading across her gaunt face.
"H-hi." She managed, then turned on her heel and strode back the way she'd come. I chuckled a little and busied myself with reading the menu while I waited for the waitress to bring Bella out, as I assumed she was going to do.
Just then, another girl came out of the ladies' room. Something white that looked like mashed potatoes smeared across her damp black t-shirt. Her scowl stretched into a grin as she saw me looking at her. I nodded and looked back at the menu.
I heard the shuffle of sneakers on the floor tiles and crash of a foot connecting with a stray chair leg. Then came the assault of an intoxicating scent. My throat seared. Bella…
"Jasper." She greeted me warily, but her dark eyes were mild. I half expected her to begin haranguing me immediately.
"Bella." I mimicked, smiling slightly as we waited in silence for a moment. I took the moment to document the dark circles beneath her eyes, the gaunt stretch of her skin over her cheekbones and the spark of fading amusement in her chocolate brown eyes.
"You look better." I commented, scrutinizing the healing lacerations on her face. She looked uncomfortable under my gaze.
"Thanks to you." She commented quietly with some unknown emotion lurking beneath my radar. Man, that drove me nuts. Why couldn't I just discern her emotions like everyone else's? Something like shame flushed her face. I swallowed, wishing that blush didn't make her so damn appetizing. She shuffled her sneaker toe across an uneven tile.
A long awkward moment stretched between us.
"It was within my power to help you. So I did." I commented, trying to get her to look at me instead of the floor. She seemed to come back to herself after a second.
"What are you doing here?" she asked with her brusque tone, settling her arms, folded, across her chest.
"I told you I was staying." I replied coolly, hoping we could keep the conversation in the realm of amiable. I was thankful I'd gone ahead and come in though. She already thought I'd left? I guess she really didn't think I was good for my word.
"No. I mean here." She motioned to the restaurant, the first trace of a smile I'd seen since I returned, tugged at the corner of her lips. "At a restaurant…"
The trace of a smile on her face took me off guard.
"Oh." I said a little stunned at her chipper demeanor. "Well, I just wanted some…." I looked back at the menu, stating the first thing I saw. "…Meatloaf." I winked and couldn't help my grin as I handed her the menu. She smirked, took the menu and headed back through the olive curtain.
I drummed my fingers along the laminate wood grain of the tabletop, anticipating her return, trying to force down the instincts she'd already awoken. She was being civil, and almost joking with me. Not what I expected at all. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. She appeared a few moments later with a glass of water and my order.
"But really…" she pressed, her expression more serious. I knew it was too good to last.
"I just wanted you to know I meant what I said. I'm not leaving." All traces of her good humor vanished. Her brow stitched as she stared down at me.
"You know I don't understand why." Her voice was so small, so utterly confused. It threw me a little. What an anomaly she was. She was a glimpse of the Bella I had known, albeit not very well, before. I didn't know which version of her I preferred. It was disheartening seeing her look so… frightened, but obviously I wasn't up for another tirade on my character.
"Because…" I couldn't very well tell her the exact reason why. I imagined how well that would go over.
Um, Bella… so, the Cullens made me promise to stay here and make sure you didn't off yourself due to your tremendously terrible luck. I really don't want to be here. I'm doing this out of sheer obligation and pride and truthfully would have rather died alongside them.
That would go well. She was being civil and really, I didn't want to seek out Bitch-Bella again. I settled for semi-truth.
"I care what happens to you." I twiddled my thumbs, watching them rather than her. She must think I was a meddlesome jerk. It was better than what she'd think if I told her the truth though.
She bit her lip and shifted her weight, clearly distraught about the whole scenario. I could tell she wanted to say, or ask, something but was reticent about whatever else was troubling her. I did my best to make her more comfortable. This wouldn't be possible unless we could get on some kind of common ground.
"Can you sit?" I did my best to soothe her emotionally. Who knew if it would affect her?
She took a purposeful breath. Her knit brow smoothed, and she slid into the red booth across from me. She looked like a child peering at me over the table that nearly reached her chest.
She started in calmly without any more help from me, "I— I guess I just can't understand why you care now. I mean, you all left. Not that I expected any less, but why, out of the blue, would you show up here and start wanting to help? You realize it makes no sense don't you?"
"We've always cared about you. Alice has watched over you the past years. If something serious, like your wreck, had happened, we would have sought help for you." An aching pain gnawed at me when I mentioned Alice. I ignored it and focused on putting Bella at ease, to let her know she could trust me, as she'd trusted all of us just a few short years ago.
She seemed to chew on what I'd said for a moment, twirling a strand of mahogany hair as she stared at the table.
"Ok. But… why are you still here?" her doe eyes came back to look at me. They shone in the dim light. "And the wreck why were you the one that came? And when you disappeared, both times, where were you?" I was thankful she was asking questions civilly but I didn't want to answer them, couldn't answer them.
"Well, Alice warned me about the wreck before she left. It was decided I would be the one to stay. And I couldn't very well let you get killed when I could stop it, could I?" I glazed over the complex story, then smiled a bit at the contradiction, thinking how precarious our situation had been. I very well could have killed her myself.
I wondered if she was thinking of Edward, as a strange sadness crept into her eyes. It wasn't lost on me that she wished it had been he who had been there rather than me. Understandably.
"Why didn't Alice stay with you? Or you go with her? That's not very… like the two of you is it? To be apart?" Her words might as well have been a knife. I couldn't think for a second. She took the hint I was sure was written not too subtly across my face.
"That's not really your business is it?" I all but hissed through the pain before I could catch myself.
"Sorry. That was nosy, and you're right, not my business." She worried her lip as I tried to calm myself to speak. I continued on, feeling like my throat was closing, like my chest was physically aching. I breathed deeply as if that would help.
"As for now, once all of this…" I hesitated making sure she understood I was referring to the murders, "I couldn't leave you on your own, not when they could have a score to settle with you." I ran my hand across my face, waiting for the ache in my chest to abate.
She looked confused again. I wanted to leave; I didn't want to deal with all of Bella's questions right now.
"But…" she stammered, "But… the news said that's all over. You were wrong." She hesitated, cutting her eyes away, "Mistaken. It's not… It's not like you said. The police caught the men who did it." I looked around to make sure her rising tone wasn't drawing attention. She stared at me undeterred by the others within earshot. Like her boss, who was eying me with his arms crossed protectively.
"Relax." I interjected curtly, while trying to dull the hum of her haywire emotions. She was frustrating my efforts, and my temper. "I'm staying just the same. Until we're sure you're safe." I didn't want her going off on another tirade, so I wasn't going to fill her in on just how misplaced her trust in the news media might be. Just because they were reporting it, didn't make it true. But, I hoped, for her sake, they were right.
"And when you disappeared?" She reminded me timidly. I sighed wishing I didn't need to lie, wishing I hadn't been so weak, wishing I could be more worthy of her trust and the Cullens'.
"Why are you the only one who gets to ask questions?" I tried not to let my annoyance take over my tone.
She looked a little surprised by my question.
"What would you want to know about me?" That seemed to really throw her. She looked to be thinking very hard about what I could want to know about her.
I leaned forward on my elbows, speaking more softly. "What really happened to your face?"
Her gaze changed, eyes flashing with unreadable emotion. " What makes you think it's not glass from the wreck?" she was bad at lying. It was written all over her face. In the way she worried her lip, in the way her eyes darted from mine to her hands in her lap, in the unease of her tone.
"And that is you asking another question, rather than answering mine." I pointed out matter-of-factly. I didn't want to be at odds with her, but I didn't want to answer her question either. I didn't want to lie to her; after all she had endured because of us, somehow lying just felt like kicking someone while they were down. Completely wrong.
"It was glass." She answered looking at my forehead rather than my eyes.
"Right." I added, letting her know I didn't believe her without voicing it.
"Are you going to answer? Where you were… and what happened to those people?"
She folded her arms and leaned back. I could tell her trust hinged on this question. Her dark eyes took me in, discerning with one sweeping look.
"I told you. I had some things to take care of. I didn't kill anyone, Bella." I wanted to flinch as the blatant lie spilled from my lips, but I held my face smoothly free of the guilt I felt.
She narrowed her eyes, but said nothing else.
"Just know." I stated flatly, hoping she would listen. "I'm here. When you realize you need help… you know where I live." I slid out of the booth, meatloaf untouched and turned from her probing eyes-- her eyes that saw through me much too easily. Her eyes, that I feared, would see the fallacies in my story.
"Last question." She said rising after me.
"Fine." I shifted my weight, looking at her with lifted brows. I needed out of here. Away from the burn in my throat, away from the overwhelming scent she constantly emitted, but mostly away from the memories of Alice.
"Where were you going to take me?"
"It doesn't matter now does it?" I responded, wanting the conversation to end quickly.
"No. I guess I'm just curious."
She was hoping we'd go meet up with the rest of the Cullens, I'm sure. If only she knew.
"We were going to see a man named Peter."
"Man?"
"Something like that." A false smile tugged at my lips as I tossed a twenty on the table, and exited the building with a heavy heart and a guilty conscience.
The clouds were still holding.