The month's separation for the pair went by with Leia aching to see Amilyn, but determined to ensure she could rely on herself if her day went dark. As much as she wanted to be with her friend, she knew she had to put herself first, something she had very little practice of. Plus, she didn't think she could be around Amilyn with the knowledge she had acquired: Amilyn was happy, more than happy even, to change their relationship. To kiss her. To do things with her that made her stomach flip and guilt pool. There was little love lost between her and Han anymore, but that didn't stop her wondering if she was moving on too quickly. The only thoughts that stopped those were thoughts of Amilyn.
"Maker you have it bad." Luke's voice echoed around her brain, the constant presence in the force projecting his thoughts to her clearly. "I think the whole galaxy knows you like her."
Leia couldn't even think of a witty reply.
The day came around when Leia was due to go back to Amilyn. She hadn't meant for it to become such a landmark in her mind (and on her calendar), but after little distractions from her thoughts (she had deliberately taken up only some of her senatorial duties after her leave of absence - she had seen Amilyn overwork herself to avoid addressing her problems and Leia knew that she would do the same thing), she was forced to set aside some time for herself and her emotions - and Amilyn was the focus of a fair few of them.
Trying not to fuss over every tiny detail of her outfit (a simple pale pink dress in a similar style to the rest of Leia's wardrobe) and her hair (a casual braided bun that echoed the mourning braid, but was not an exact match - Leia wouldn't start a new relationship while wearing the grave of the previous one), focused her energy and intention on Amilyn and being around her. She travelled easily, with only a slight feeling of being pulled; it was as if dimension-jumping was just another skill that Leia and so many others had picked up throughout her life. It was just unique to her however, as if it was her place throughout the universes to be with Amilyn - she was too skeptical to be sure of that idea, but she knew that Amilyn wouldn't be.
Leia opened her eyes to see just the person she was thinking of staring back at her with wide eyes. It wasn't uncommon for those pretty blue eyes to be so wide however - Leia was sure that that was just how Amilyn looked at the world: with wonder. She always found something to be fascinated with.
Leia gave her something to be fascinated with. Unable to help herself, Leia pulled Amilyn's face down to meet hers in a long overdue kiss. The warmth of the sun flooding Amilyn's apartment did nothing to compare to the warmth that spread through Leia as she held Amilyn; there in Amilyn's arms she was home, and they both knew it.
"I can't believe that you didn't think that I would want to kiss you again," Leia breathed against Amilyn's skin, "Sometimes that's all I want to do."
"I had to make sure," Amilyn replied as a lock of multicoloured hair tumbled between them. "You're the one thing in my life I could never afford to lose."
"I'm sorry," Leia begun, her arms still around Amilyn's neck; even with the height difference it wasn't uncomfortable. "For the first kiss. When we were nineteen: I thought I was going to die and you were so… intriguing. I had to know what being with you would feel like, but I had already made a promise to myself to not get tangled up in unnecessary relationships. My rebellion had to come first. And then I met Han and… just made a massive mess of things."
"I understand Leia. I also wouldn't say you made a massive mess of things." With just a few words Amilyn caught the negative thoughts that Leia couldn't quite curb and turned them inside out, showing Leia nothing but love.
"That's true." Leia acknowledged, refusing to let herself drown. "I never made a mess with you."
Amilyn kissed her softly: the first kiss with Leia that she had initiated. "Do you want to go out? That pizza place is still open."
"Amilyn Holdo," Leia pulled back, beaming as she ran her hands down Amilyn's arms, "Are you asking me out on a date?"
An unbidden blush formed in Amilyn's drawn-out cheeks. "Maybe," It had been a while since she had deliberately been coy, yet it still had a great effect on Leia: her own smile slipped out. "If you're up for it."
"Of course I am." Leia eyes crinkled; the stars that shone in them shone with mirth.
"It's a date." Amilyn swooped down to kiss Leia on her nose before she led her out of the apartment, barely remembering to pick up her bag and shoes on the way.
Nine pieces of pizza later, Amilyn and Leia were fully sated at their candlelit table. The Saturday evening in a big city meant that they were far from alone, but the couple were surrounded by their own bubble. Even their water had to clear his throat a few times before he got their attention, as lost in each other as they were.
"Would you like a refill?" He asked, referencing their soft drinks.
"No thank you." Leia replied primly, confident in how much of the dining culture she had picked up so far (mostly due to the stark similarities to her own, but she could never be sure. Amilyn could be a strange woman, although after time in public in her world Leia had begun to think that it wasn't the culture differences that made Amilyn strange, just her personality.).
As he left, his absence revealed a family that had just entered the restaurant, a young boy holding the hand of his mother while his father cradled a baby. The images of her and Han and Ben rushed to the forefront of her mind, glazing her eyes over as what could have been pricked at her skin.
"Leia? Do you want to leave?" Amilyn was there, as always. She must have noticed the abnormal gulp as Leia's breath got stuck in her throat and where her gaze was fixated.
"No, no I," Blinking, Leia breathed deeply to clear her mind. She was with Amilyn, and there was nothing wrong with that - she had to honour her son by ensuring happiness. "I'm fine. I will be fine."
"Okay. Although it is only going to get busier in here, so leaving probably isn't a bad idea. We don't get stuck in that storm."
Leia's reassuring smile dissolved into a stifled giggle at Amilyn's remark. As easy as she could translate Amilyn's curious metaphors, one or two could always catch her off-guard: another thing about Amilyn that made her undeniably loveable. "Alright. I'll go wherever you want to."
"How about we walk around for a while? Just to get lost for a bit."
"That sounds wonderful." Leia's words were genuine, even if they sounded directly from the mouth of a prim princess at a dinner party. To be close to Amilyn, to hold her hand and tuck into her side as they were free from restrictions and responsibilities filled her with content.
Within minutes, their bill was paid and they were out in the streets bathed in the twilight colours of quinacridone red ands violets. Each passing streetlight glow was dim in comparison to the comet's trail the pair left behind; the giggles and warmth that undoubtedly emanated from people in sickeningly sweet love. Eventually their wandering led them to a park, one of the few natural spaces left in the urban sprawl. The lights were dimming there, elongating the shadows of the trees, but Leia had never felt safer with Amilyn by her side. Yet she did seize a little as she realised that it was the first time she had set foot in a park since Ben's death.
"Leia?" Amilyn questioned, looking down to the woman wrapped around her arm for warmth, "What i- oh I'm sorry, I should have asked."
"It's okay Am, really. I've got to think about him without pain sometime. You always say that 'happiness is our moral imperative', after all."
"That doesn't mean you have to rush yourself." Leia almost chuckled at the role reversal: her twenty year old self would have ever imagined Amilyn Holdo being calm and collected.
"I know." The barely didn't talk for the next few minutes, they didn't really need to. They knew each other well enough for silence to be comfortable, only the passing birds and cars in the far distance accompanied them. "Let's go home?"
"Sure." Amilyn again leaned down to kiss Leia, both women thoroughly enjoying the fact that they had the opportunity at almost anytime to touch and kiss each other without having to withhold themselves to their thoughts and longing glances. "Let's go home."