Gibbs tightened his grip on the sanding block he was using and thought again about the conversation he had had with Tim four days ago. For someone so ill he managed to make his point painfully, precisely clear. It was the ending that again lingered in his mind.

"I don't want you to love me because I got shot Jethro. I don't want you to love me because you feel guilty. I don't want you to love me because you feel responsible for me. I just want you to love ME. And that includes all my faults, strengths and weaknesses.

So in case you decide it would be best not to come back, then Goodbye Leroy Jethro Gibbs. And Thank you.

Tim had gently pulled his head down to meet his and given him the softest sweetest kiss that broke his heart with the amount of farewell and love he could taste in it.

And then he had left as Tim had asked him to do.

He hadn't turned around to see the tears in Tim's big green eyes he knew would be there. He hadn't thought about his steps echoing harshly down the hospital corridor or how he found his car. He hadn't thought about travelling familiar streets or even where he was going. He hadn't thought about anything until at long last he discovered himself at his home. Exhausted he shed his clothes automatically and threw himself onto his bed hoping to perhaps wake from this nightmare.

It was when he discovered Tim's favorite battered soft MIT t shirt stuffed under the other pillow that Gibbs realized what a broken heart felt like. He had hidden it from Tim as a joke the previous week. It made him laugh the way Tim would frown and push his bottom lip into a pout as he searched the house puzzled, checking the clothes hamper, the linen cupboard and declaring to Gibbs adamantly that he had had it on him just that morning.

When the penny had dropped and Tim turned on Gibbs suspiciously and advanced slowly towards him with a smile and narrowed eyes, Gibbs had felt his heart and other parts of his anatomy swell. The t-shirt had been forgotten when Tim extracted his revenge by pulling Gibbs into his arms and tickling him mercilessly. Gibbs's own shirt had been tossed over his head not long after as Tim's clever hands roamed over his chest and Gibbs had lost himself in the sensation of kissing Tim's sweet mouth.

Gibbs had pulled the soft t shirt into his chest and finally alone in the dark comfort of his familiar bed he allowed himself to mourn.

Gibbs heard the hesitant tread on his basement stairs and a slightly stressed sigh and smiled softly to himself.

"Hello Tony"

Tony started in surprise before he complained.

"How did you know it was me?"

"Who else would dare come down here? Besides those leather soled expensive shoes of yours sound different to everyone else.'"

"Oh right."

Tony paused uncertain how to begin.

"So how are you doing Boss?"

Gibbs sighed. It was going to be one of those conversations.

"Do you want a drink?" Gibbs threw his sanding block onto the workbench and brushed down his hands.

Tony considered carefully. If he was offered whisky it meant Gibbs needed whisky and it was probably going to be a rough conversation. If he was offered a beer then it might not be so bad.

"Thanks. I'll just have what you're having."

"Right then. Beer it is. How about we go up the kitchen? Easier to sit and talk up there than it is down here."

"Uh sure." Tony was in uncertain waters. Beer was generally a good thing but he had never been asked to sit around and chat in Gibbs' kitchen. What the hell had Probie done to him?

Tony followed Gibbs into his kitchen where he went to the fridge and pulled out two cold beers and twisted off the tops, handing one of them to Tony. Tony studied the beer in his hand.

"Is this imported? Nice. Didn't take you as the type Gibbs."

Gibbs rolled his eyes "I'm not usually. Tim likes them."

"Ah" Tony nodded and went back to carefully studying the label uncertain how to start.

Gibbs sat down at the kitchen table and clinked his bottle against Tony's in a toast

"Here's to absent friends"

Tony smiled and taking a deep swig of the beer for courage asked

"So how are you and uh McGee going?"

Gibbs sighed and studied the lopsided cupboard door he meant to fix last spring. And didn't.

"He woke up and told me to go away for two weeks and think about what I really wanted."

Tony blinked. That hadn't been what he expected.

"Are you serious? After that whole scene you went through with us and then he tells you to go away?"

Gibbs grimaced slightly as if in remembered pain.

"Yup. Told me he loved me but if I wanted a real relationship some things were going to have to change and I needed to make sure I was certain about what I wanted. He wants to trust me but he needs to be sure. I have this one shot and he wants to know I'm one hundred percent about us. If I'm not then …"

There was a pause and then he continued as he fiddled with the rapidly emptying bottle of beer.

"If I'm not then Tim is going to ask Vance for a transfer, preferably out of Washington for a while. The thing is I know for a fact there is a position coming up in the Pear Harbor office."

Tony tried to laugh and lighten the dark mood that had descended onto the kitchen. McGee gone? McGee just…gone?? That wouldn't happen would it?

"McGee in Hawaii? He looks terrible in those Hawaiian shirts. Besides he is so pale he will be sun burnt all the time. Can you imagine? I mean he will be grumbling about sand in his hard drives. And he won't like leaving Jethro behind….."

Tony realized what he had said and stumbled to a halt. Silence settled around the kitchen table as both considered the huge whole Tim would leave in the team if he left.

"Tony why are you here?" Gibbs looked up at him and Tony squirmed

"Well uh…McGee sent me to check up on you."

Gibbs sat back in his chair surprised.

"I thought you said you didn't know what he said to me?"

"I didn't. I just went to visit him and he asked me to come over and make sure you were ok. I didn't ask why. To be honest I didn't really want to get into too many details. I still find it kind of ….weird you know. Not bad or anything …just strange thinking of you two together. I mean when did you….you know make the first move?"

Tony wiggled his eyebrows with a cheeky grin, his natural curiosity finally getting the best of him.

Gibbs grinned "I didn't"

"I'm sorry?" Tony frowned

"I didn't make the first move. Tim did."

Gibbs remembered the slow slide of Tim's hand up his thigh as they sat next to each other on his couch after the Burrows case. It still made Gibbs heart race. It was late, Gibbs' car was in being serviced and Tim had offered him a ride home. They had talked about inconsequential things and drunk a couple of beers before Tim carefully put his hand on Gibbs' knee. Tim had turned to him and slowly licked his lips. Gibbs found himself staring at Tim's full soft mouth and he suddenly understood what the unreadable look he had seen in Tim's eyes had been. He wanted him.

Tim slid his hand slowly higher, watching Gibbs' face for any hostile reaction before he cupped him firmly through his pants and Gibbs has sucked in his breath making a hissing sound at the surge of desire that jolted through him. Tim's hands were large, strong and utterly different from a woman's. Tim had smiled softly and leaned down and started kissing the side of his neck as he…..

"Are you serious? McGee made the move on you? Damn I never would have thought he would have the guts."

Tony exclamations pulled Gibbs away from his pleasant musings.

"Yeah well there are a lot of things you don't know about McGee."

Gibbs smirked and Tony suddenly stopped, his mouth hanging open for a second before he snapped it shut. Tony quickly finished off his beer in several large gulps, his eyes darting everywhere in the room but Gibbs face. Gibbs quirked an eyebrow. Had he succeeded in making Tony blush?

Tony started peeling the wet label off the now empty bottle of beer before he looked up.

"Gibbs, I gotta ask. Are we good? I mean to work together?"

Gibbs shrugged casually and stood to get them both another beer from the fridge.

"Sure Tony. We're good. Nothing changes you know. I have been working with you for months while seeing McGee and you didn't even notice. It's not like I'm suddenly going to hit on you or anything."

Tony laughed "Well I know that. Besides it would appear that I'm not your type."

"My type?"

"Yeah you know. With woman you like them red headed and feisty. With guys it would appear that you go for the wide eyed, pouty mouthed, boy scout types.."

"Tony"

The familiar tone of Gibbs' voice gave the warning that Tony was starting to stray into territory Gibbs preferred to keep private and Tony grinned.

"You do realize that if you say yes then everything is going to change. I mean before it was all hush hush but well, we all know now and it sounds like McGee is talking about something serious with you.

McGee's pretty close to his family, has he ever said that… ..well you know that he would tell them about you?

Now there's a conversation that I wouldn't want to be around for. I gather his Father is a bit of a hard ass. So maybe not.

But even if he doesn't then he's still going to want to do couple type things with you when he can. And that means coming up out of that basement of yours and having Christmas's and Thanksgivings and Birthdays. Book signings. Valentines. Anniversaries.

Maybe he might just tell Sarah? I mean they are pretty close underneath all the hassling she dishes out to him. Are you ready to get the don't hurt my big brother speech from her? Now there's a girl with a real mouth on her and I don't think she's going to hold back just because you're older or McGee's Boss either."

Tony tapped the table thoughtfully and looked around the large kitchen

"Have you thought about where you are going to live? Tim's place is so damn small it would make sense that if you guys get serious he would move in here. But that means he's going to need a room as a study for his writing and he's going to need another one for all his computer crap. And don't forget about Jethro. You might need to get higher fencing if you have a German Sheppard running around the yard. "

Tony prattled on as Gibbs sat in his chair and realized finally that Tim was right. He hadn't been looking at the future. He had only been looking at the right now and how much he wanted Tim to be beside him.

Could he do all that? Could he clear out Kelly's room and turn it into a study? Could he greet the neighbors he had known for years while they watched Tim collect the morning newspaper again in his sweats with sleep rumpled hair? Could he handle a Christmas tree going back up and presents and egg nog instead of spending the day either working or in his basement? Would Tim like the wives before him bitch about wet towels left on the bathroom floor or dry cleaning that was forgotten?

A future Gibbs hadn't considered stretched out in front of him and he realized why Tim had really sent Tony over to see him. If there was one thing Tony could do it was talk.

The decision that had seemed so obvious a few days ago at Tim's bedside suddenly seemed a lot more difficult.

And still Tony talked.

"McGee's not really a sports guy so maybe when a good games on, you could come over to my place and watch it? That would be kind of cool. Like a guys night. Tim could use the quiet here to write.

Oh and you might want to think about changing your doors always unlocked policy as well. I'm sure you wouldn't want one of your old service buddies strolling in here and finding you two in a compromising situation together.

Anyway at least McGee wouldn't have to worry about being late to work because of some traffic accident on the Beltway. He's much closer to the yard being here than all the way out in Silver Spring."

"Tony?"

"Yeah Boss?"

"I think its time you went home now."

"Oh ok. Well I will see you at work then"

Tony left whistling happily now that his task had been completed and Gibbs made his way back down to the familiar basement and picked up his sanding block. He had ten days to make the biggest decision of his life.

He hoped he had enough sandpaper.

What was he thinking? Hell he hoped he had enough boat.