Chapter 10:

Why?

That question reverberated around Remus' head as he sat in a deserted classroom on the seventh floor. Why? That wasn't the right question… there were too many questions to ask… Why was he a werewolf? Why did the magical world hate werewolves? Why was he so scared of hurting her? Why was it so likely that he would hurt her? Why couldn't he trust himself with the girl he loved? Why…? Why…? Why…?

Remus thought back to his careers advice session the previous year. Professor McGonagall had been so kind but Remus had hated it. What was the point in discussing it; no one would ever employ him. "But Professor," Remus had said, "it makes no difference. I'm aiming for all outstandings this year and yet that won't matter, just like it won't matter what I get in my N.E.W.T.s because no one is going to want to employ me."

Professor McGonagall hadn't known what to say so she said the first thing that came to mind, "well if you can't find employment outside of this castle then I will employ you as my replacement one day. You would make a superb teacher, Mr Lupin."

Remus had smiled briefly at the idea of being a teacher, "thank you professor but I don't want to be pitied."

"I don't pity you Mr Lupin. You have a sad lot, yes, but I would be privileged to work alongside you. Now what N.E.W.T. subjects interest you?"

"Er… I really don't know professor," Remus had frowned, "I really don't see much point anymore."

"How about you have a think and get back to me," Professor McGonagall had said in her kindest, gentlest voice. "But please Remus, whatever you do, do not allow other people's limitations to limit you. If people can't see who you really are then they are simply not worth your time."

Remus had nodded at the time but now he was scared, he didn't want to give Kate a reason to hate him but he refused to lie to her. He made his way back to the common room. He found her surrounded by the girls in floods of tears. The boys had hidden in a far corner away from the waterworks. Remus went right up to her, sidestepping an angry Lily, "Kate you deserve an explanation. Will you come with me?" He pleaded.

She nodded and accepted his hand. He led her to the empty classroom he had just vacated. He closed the door and placed a silencing spell. He really didn't want to be overheard. He then took a deep breath and began.

"You'll probably hate me when I tell you the truth but first let me tell you, I love you."

For a second he saw hope in her eyes before he continued, "but I'm not good for you. I'm dangerous… I'd hurt you…"

"You're wrong…"

"Just listen… I'm telling you something that I don't tell people (it's the golden rule: keep it a secret), I'm… I'm a werewolf."

Kate felt like she was going to throw up, and if Harry were honest, he thought she looked like she might as well. He stepped back slightly, noticing that Remus was doing the same thing. "Why? How? Who?"

"My dad angered a werewolf when I was a child… a particularly nasty one… so he attacked me… that's the why, as for the how, he bit me so now I transform every month, that's why I'm always away. My mum's not sick, neither my nan or my aunty" He almost felt like laughing, "For the who; His name is Greyback… and you really don't want to know anything else about him."

Kate saw pain in his eyes, so stepped forward and placed her hand on his face, cupping it gently, "you can tell me anything you want… anything you need…"

"He likes to make parents suffer by attacking their children… he's viscious… evil…" There was a bitter coldness in his tone that made Kate shiver. She stepped closer to him, placing her other hand on his face, cupping it on both sides now.

"You should be running away… screaming."

"I don't care… I'm not going anywhere," with her whispered words Kate leant in and kissed Remus gently on the lips.

Several minutes later as they walked back to the common room, Remus asked casually, "so about Hogsmeade; does the offer still stand?"

"I wasn't taking no for an answer," Kate replied.

"Good," Remus smiled.

Lily frowned when she realised all of her friends had managed to get dates for the Hogsmeade trip except her… well and James… and ok Peter. A part of her hoped that James would ask her but she had a feeling that wasn't going to happen. After Herbology the next day, she made her way to lunch with the marauders when Lorinc Rikard called her over, "Hey Evans!"

"Alright Rikard?" she replied as she walked passed.

"Got a sec?" he asked.

She nodded and came to a stop just inside of the Great Hall, "do you want to go to Hogsmeade with me?"

Lily smiled. She didn't really like him. He was nice enough, ginger hair, a bit too skinny but really friendly. "Sure… that would be nice."

"A drop of shopping and then Madam Puddifoot's for lunch?" he asked.

"Erm… actually could we go to the Three Broomsticks? I told my friends I'd meet them there for lunch… and I'd hate to cancel on them."

"Sure," he failed to hide his disappointment. When Lily finally made it to the table she begged them all to meet in the Three Broomsticks for lunch much to James' entertainment.

James' mood turned sour for the rest of the day. He took it out on the Quidditch team during practice and because they were mostly his closest friends, they told him to get over his 'Lily Blues'. James refused to go without a date himself. He wanted to make Lily jealous. Everything had been going so well. She had no right to go on a date with someone else. He had been hoping that they'd both not get dates and end up going as friends so he could spend some more time with her. He knew she'd get annoyed if he asked her properly so he'd had to put it down to fate. Luckily, James ran into Rebecca Kerr the following day in the owlery. Rebecca was a fourth year Gryffindor. "Hey Becca! You going to Hogsmeade?" James asked casually.

"Yeah… you?" she replied shyly.

"Yeah… with you," James grinned, running a hand through his hair.

Rebecca smiled ecstatically before squealing loud enough to cause all the birds to leave the owlery, "so much for sending that letter," James muttered under his breath.