I must have been tired because I woke up four hours later with a stiff neck and a post-it note stuck to my forehead. I pulled it off and read that Joe had gone to work and if I wanted I could meet him up later for lunch. He left his phone number so I texted him and told him that would be great. At least that would give me something to do with my time.

I hadn't made any plans with anyone and felt it would be too rude on such short notice to call people up and ask them if they wanted to hang out. Plus I hoped to spend this weekend as anonymously as possible – one of the great things that a city of eight million people afforded you. However that didn't mean I wanted to spend the whole weekend trapped indoors with nothing but my thoughts to keep my company.

I wandered into the room, tidying things up. I made the bed, put my clothes away, folded Darren's neatly on top of his luggage. I headed into the kitchen, doing up the dishes and straightening things out. After that I headed in for quite possibly the longest shower I had ever taken, hoping the heat would wash away the headache I felt coming on.

When I finally emerged it was almost eleven thirty. I got dressed – nothing much, just jeans and a t-shirt – and plaited my hair down my back. It was as much effort as I wanted to put in; it wasn't like I had anyone to impress this weekend.

I headed out and towards the nearest subway. A lot of people hated it but I always found it fascinating – although I did tend to avoid it late at night, but it being just before midday, it wasn't too overcrowded.

I found a seat and stared out the window into the blackness. The subway had an emptying effect; I couldn't focus on anything, found my mind blank as I stared at the darkness occasionally punctured by the fluorescent lights on the stops. I had to change lines twice but did so on auto-pilot. I had been on enough undergrounds in my time already that I felt comfortable, navigating them with ease.

I finally got off and managed to find my way to the PIT where Joe was setting up some shows for the coming month. The place was practically empty save Joe and a couple other people. The door, however, was open and saved me them embarrassment of trying to flag someone's attention. They all turned towards me as I opened the door and Joe walked over from the stage. I say stage but it was really more of a platform area. "Hey, you made it", he said raising his arms up to what I presumed was going to be a hug but very quickly and very awkwardly turned into a pat on the shoulder. I smiled at him with some amusement as he lead me over to a stool at the bar. "I've just got a couple things to finish up and then we'll head for lunch, okay?".

I smiled and nodded, not sure why I suddenly felt shy. It wasn't as if this was my first time meeting him. And I was perfectly used to meeting people all the time now because of all the bloody awful parties you were expected to show face and 'mingle' at. Their words, not mine. Yet here I was, my hands stuffed uncomfortably under my swinging legs, unable to find my voice.

I watched Joe with some interest, occasionally turning to look at other people who always seemed to be looking away from me at the same time. The uncomfortable feeling grew. The door clattered open noisily behind me and I caught a glimpse of Joe's face before I turned around. It was a mix of exhaustion and wariness. When I finally turned I imagined mine was probably in the same expression.

The girl I knew to be Mia stood in the doorway. I froze as she walked towards me, unsure of how she would react. "Hi, I'm Mia, you must be Emma", she said, extending her hand towards me. I accepted it and tried to return the smile.

Out of all the reactions I was expecting – it wasn't this one. "Hi", I said awkwardly, wondering how she knew my name. Someone must have told her I was going to be here. Joe walked over at the back of us, pulling Mia into a hug.

"Hey, I didn't know you were stopping by?", he said.

"I'm just full of surprises", she said, smiling a very wide, confident smile. I felt like a dying weed next to her, shrinking further into my seat. "I just wanted to check you were still coming to the show tonight? I need names on lists". Joe paused, clearly awkward, glancing over at me. "I mean, you'd be welcome to come too", Mia said, turning to me. "My band, we're putting on a show tonight. I mean, you'd be more than welcome to come", she said, flashing that smile again. The thing that got me the most – how genuine she seemed. Like she really would be happy to have me there. I found myself agreeing to go.

Joe finished up his rehearsal and we headed up the street to a relatively quiet place for lunch. I just ordered a burger and fries, picking at them, no longer feeling hungry. Joe made idle chat with me asking about my friends and family, life in Scotland, what it was like to have moved to America. I was happy to keep up the chat for a while but the questions were nagging, building as the time went on. I didn't care if I had only met Joe the previous day. I had to ask, so as soon as there was a pause in the conversation I blurted out,

"Why did Darren and Mia break up?". Joe hesitated and at first I wondered if he would even answer the question. There was a long pause where I wished I could have taken the words back. After what seemed like an eternity, Joe sighed.

"I think mostly it was the distance. You know, he's tied down in L.A. with Glee and Mia, well her job, her friends, her home is here and neither was willing to compromise. It was just one of those things". Joe never looked at me once whilst telling me this. I couldn't help but feel like he pitied me.

Here I was, 2000 miles from home, in a somewhat fantasy relationship with a guy I worked with, who had recently broken up with someone – it was just...such a mess.

I pushed all of the food to one side of the plate, throwing my napkin over the almost untouched meal. I was done. With it all. I just needed to get through tonight and then I'd start to put some distance between Darren and I. It wasn't healthy for either of us. And it wasn't fair on him. I didn't know what I wanted and he was clearly chasing me in avoidance of his own feelings towards Mia. I needed a break from it all.

Oh the irony that I had though I was running away to New York to avoid the problem, when it had only seemed to have gotten worse since I had came here.