Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I'm claiming that I do not have claims on the rights to the twilight series.

AN: thank you guys SOOO much for your reviews! I can't believe that we're at ten chapters already! I'm not sure exactly how much longer it's going to be, but we'll figure it out sometime! I'm glowing, I'm sooo happy! I had almost everyone that reviewed say that they don't mind me changing it to M. only one said that they did. To respect that person, though, when the time comes for the "M" rated scene, I'll put a huge row of EBEBEBEBE or something like that and say that this is where the M rating starts so that they can skip down to the second row of EBEBEBE, essentially skipping the scene. Thanks!

It's a shame that it had to be this way

It's not enough to say I'm sorry, it's not enough to say I'm sorry

Maybe I'm to blame? Or maybe we're the same

Either way I can't breathe, either way I can't breathe

All I had to say was goodbye

It's better off this way, its better off this way

I'm alive, but I'm losing all my drive

Cause everything we've been through, and everything about you

Seems to be a lie, a guiltless twisted lie

That made me learn to hate you

Or hate myself for letting it pass bye

-Goodbye; Secondhand Serenade

I'm falling apart, i'm falling apart

Don't tell me this won't last forever

You're breaking my heart, your breaking my heart

Don't tell me that we will never be together

We could be over and over we could be together

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over

unless you let it break you

--It's Not Over; Secondhand Serenade

I thought with a month I would call

Together would find us an opening

And moonlight would shine like the stars

And that I would stumble across the key

Or break down the door to your heart

Forever could see us not you and me

And you'd help me out of the dark

And I'd give my heart as the offering (an offering)

-Three Cheers for Five Years; Mayday Parade

BPOV:

I thought that after a few weeks this would get easier. I didn't realize that every time I stepped out of Rose's apartment, I would be hit with a reminder of him so hard that it felt as if I lost my ability to breathe. Sometimes I wonder why I don't just give up trying to get over him, but that's the thing. I'm not trying to get over him, I just can't see him again….not yet. I haven't forgiven him for what he's done for Tanya, and I haven't forgiven myself for not being enough for him.

I have come to terms with Tanya, in a sense. I realize that yes; she's to blame for at least half of this mess. If she hadn't moved in, none of this would have started, and I probably would be in Edward's arms at the moment. I think that maybe Edward really cares about her, though. They have to have some special bond; something that Tanya and Alice don't have. I know when I was younger; I would hang out with both Alice and Edward ridiculous amounts of time. Mostly, Alice would talk about how she couldn't stand Tanya, and hated how her parents forced them to be nice to her. Edward thought of her as their triplet. It repulsed me. If he really thinks they're like triplets then what he's doing is called INCEST!

I hadn't gone to class in two weeks. The only class I really went to was creative writing, where I don't have to see either Tanya or Edward. I still get my assignments from piano and art, though. You could probably guess that I have more than enough time on my hands. Well, sometimes.

My life consisted of three things; running, drinking coffee, and reading. Every once in a while, I'll have an apple or a banana but other than that, I don't really eat much. I tried to eat dinner with Alice one night….it didn't work out too well. Most of it ended up in the toilet. I'm not too upset about it; who wants to get fat anyway? It's not like I'm starving myself…in a way. I get minimal calories, enough to live, but just barely.

I hit the biggest low of my whole life. I would try to sleep sometimes, but it never lasted more than a few hours; that was when I'd wake up screaming, or crying. Neither of which I felt like doing on a regular basis.

Edward tried to talk to me on numerous occasions. He called Rose's phone a couple dozen times, left me letters (which I had successfully burned in the fireplace), emailed me (which instantly went to 'spam'), and tried to get Alice to get me to talk to him. Nothing would work on his part. I didn't want to talk to him again until I was ready.

It was a good thing that I didn't get enough sleep or enough food, because then I wouldn't have the energy to go beat Tanya up. This isn't just for the heart break she caused me, or the fact that she basically stole Edward from me. She did something horrible. She lied to us. I was taking a run around the campus a few mornings ago when I saw a person I never expected to see again; her roommate, Lauren! Her ex-roommate I mean. Of course, my first conclusion was; shit! I'm seeing things. But then, she walked over to me and started talking!

"I heard that you took in Tanya. That was so nice of you." She said in her ditzy voice.

"You're alive?" I said, rather blatantly.

"Duh…" She said, as if it were the most obvious thing. "I wasn't there when the fire happened. When I got home, there were like fifty firefighters there and one was like 'Hey do you live here?' and I was like 'Uh yeah.' And he was like 'Your apartment has some minor fire damage to it, so you'll need to find a new place for the time being'. So I was all trying to stay with him, but no, he has a girlfriend. I told him I didn't mind but…. Apparently she would."

I was so mad; I didn't even roll my eyes at her sluttish attempt to take someone else's man. Instead of telling her what Tanya had told us, I just gave her a pathetic chuckle and continued my run. Ever since that day, I'd never been able to think about anything but how horrible Tanya is, and how upset I am with myself for letting her into my apartment.

Today, I decided it was time to stop and see Jake. He was always such a warm, friendly person to be around. Alice and Rosalie thought it was best for me to get out of the house and be around different people again, anyway. I took a shower, and cleaned myself up a bit; I wasn't used to leaving the house except to run so I looked really shitty the majority of the time. I found his apartment number in the student directory, and practically ran there.

"Bells! Long time no talk!" He exclaimed, opening the door and wrapping me in a huge hug.

"Hi Jake!" I said, instantly happier now that I was with him. It would be hard for anyone to be upset when they're with him.

"What's going on? Come on in." He ushered me into his cozy little apartment. "Did you eat breakfast yet?"

"Nope. Are you planning on making anything?"

"For you, I'll make anything." He smiled, and I just laughed.

"I don't usually eat very much so you can make whatever you want to eat, and I'll just have some orange juice and toast or something."

"No, when you're in my house, you have to eat well. I'm making eggs and hash browns." He said, pulling things out of the refrigerator.

"Okay mom." I said, as a rather tall man with russet skin came into the room.

"Did I hear you're making breakfast?!" He said, sitting down next to me.

"Just ignore him. That's my friend, Embry." Jake said to me from his position at the stove.

"Hi, I'm Bella." I said, shaking his hand.

"You look really tired, did little Jake over here keep you up late last night?" Embry teased, causing me to blush horribly.

"I just got here a few minutes ago, actually." I told him.

"Damn, one of these days Jake, one of these days." He said, causing Jacob to turn around and nail him with an egg.

I couldn't help but laugh uncontrollably.

"Yes Embry, one of these days I'm going to move out of here and good luck to you because I doubt you'll find a roommate as understanding as I am." Jacob replied, handing him a paper towel to clean off the mess.

We ate our breakfast in a constant flow of conversation for the most part. I was particularly enjoying listening to Jacob and Embry bicker on about the littlest things; I could tell that they were best friends. It was moments like these I was glad to have Jacob in my life, because he took the heartache out of me. I owed him my life for it.

"What do you have planned to do today?" Jacob asked me as I helped him clear the table.

"Nothing of major importance. I figured I would just hang out here…if you don't mind." I asked him.

"I'd love you to stay here Bella, but I have class in an hour. Can we hang out some other time?" He asked, and I couldn't say no.

"Sure. Thank you so much for breakfast." I said hugging him. He kissed my forehead before pulling away. He stared intently in my eyes, almost trying to see past them.

"Is something wrong? Are you okay?" He asked me, concerned.

"It's been a long couple of weeks. I'll be fine, I just really needed to see you again." I told him, before he hugged me again.

"You can always call me if you need me."

"I'll hold you to that." I smiled and started to wonder around the campus.

I wasn't really aware of where I was going. It wasn't until I reached the door to my old apartment that I realized that I might have to face Edward today. I didn't want to talk to him, but I knew I had to get my things back from him; I shouldn't have waited so long to do so. I took the spare key we had hidden under the welcome mat, and opened the door.

The place looked completely clean. I don't think there was a speck of dust or dirt anywhere. If you think about it, that's extremely odd to find in a single college bachelor's place. I heard the piano playing from the bedroom; its melody was all wrong, though. It sounded distorted…there were breaks in the flow of the notes, which few were even right to begin with. It was horrible, but for some reason, I was drawn to it. I kept walking down the hall, and cracked the bedroom door open a bit, just to see what was there.

Edward was hunched over the piano, his fingers moving clumsily along the keys. For a second, I thought he was drunk, I really did. But then, his fingers stopped moving, and he turned around to look at me.

His eyes were dead. They used to shine. They used to light up a room. Now, I couldn't believe they ever used to do any of those things. They were puffy and red from crying, the tears falling effortlessly down his cheeks.

I couldn't breathe. I really couldn't breathe.

EPOV:

I couldn't breathe. I really couldn't breathe. I thought my heart had stopped beating the moment my eyes locked with hers. Those wonderful brown eyes I thought I'd never see again. She was pale, though, paler than normal. There were dark bags under her eyes, telling me of sleepless nights. She looked weak and fragile, more so than before. The bones of her cheeks were extremely noticeable under her tight skin. What happened to her? Where'd the woman I love go? Everything about her has changed.

"I'm sorry…I really shouldn't be in here. I was just getting my things and…" She started to say, but I was barely paying attention. I couldn't believe that after all this time she was actually here, without me having to beg her to talk to me.

"Bella." I said, desperately. She started to cry, and the only thing I could do was open my arms to her. This was the only way I knew how to comfort her.

She walked over to the piano bench and sat next to me. I held her as she cried into my chest, soaking my shirt. I tried to soothe her by rubbing my arm up and down her back, whispering reassurances in her ear. This could have gone on for days and I wouldn't have realized it; I was just enjoying the time she was allowing me to hold her, for who knows when she would leave again?

"We need to talk." I told her after a while. She looked up and me, nodding her head.

"I think I've said everything I needed to say in the letter….you can start." Bella told me. I took a minute to gather my thoughts.

"I'm an idiot. A complete ass. You can look up every horrible word in the book, and I'm sure that it would describe me to the T. I couldn't see past what Tanya was doing. I can't believe I was stupid enough to believe that she just needed a friend. If I would have known, Bella, I swear to you I would have never let her stay with us. I didn't want anything to come between us when we finally were happy. I got everything I wanted, and now it's gone. I've been a mess without you. I can't think straight, or be around people… I can't even write music anymore; you've seen that. I don't even know what its like to fully breathe anymore, because I feel entirely empty. I kicked Tanya out, and I never want to talk to her or about her ever again. I just want it to be you and me because I still love you. With everything that I am, I love you." I told her, trying to get my point across.

"You still want me back?" She asked me, shaking a bit.

"Are you kidding me? Of course I want you back! I should be begging and pleading with you to take me back! What would make you think that I wouldn't want you?"

"She was everything I couldn't be. You should be with her; you guys belong together." It tore me apart to think that she really believed that.

"You're right. You could never be like Tanya. And I'm glad. I don't want a fake, trashy, moronic girlfriend. I. Want. You." I brushed away her tears with my thumbs.

"Okay."

"Really?"

"Yes." And that was all it took for me to sweep her up in my arms and spin her around.

"I love you."

"You are my life." I told her simply, pressing my lips to hers. It set my heart on fire, to finally be kissing her again after all this time.

I got my Bella back!

AN: well, there you have it. THEY'RE BACK TOGETHER! I've wanted to get them back together ever since the start of the eighth chapter…hhahaha they weren't even apart at that time! I didn't want them to have "make-up sex" because I think that's a horrid way for them to lose their virginities. You know, it totally ruins the whole sex thing.

Reviews make my life. I'd like to get about 15 for this chapter before I'll start the next. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to have them do….I've got a thought but I'd like you as the reader to give me your opinions. I was thinking about having thanksgiving be the next chapter….it's all up to you guys. Please leave your opinions in the reviews! (:

I LOVE YOU GUYS! ;-)