What doesn't kill us

Chapter Ten

Time seemed to stand still. Ruth leant on to Harry's knees, her face turned to the sea, eyes closed. Presently she felt Harry's fingers stroking her hair, crooning a tune known only to him. It was a perfect moment in time. A moment of peace especially for Harry.

Their tranquillity was shattered by a crack of thunder and a bolt of lightning far out to sea. Ruth lifted her head and saw the dark clouds gathering. There was another clap of thunder which propelled her to her feet.

"Come on Harry" she said "Let's try and get back before the heavens open."

By the time they reached the hotel they were soaked. Soaked and laughing like lunatics. Harry seemed to have forgotten about the pain in his leg, all his concentration was focused on Ruth. On the joy of being with her and the way her wet clothes clung to her body.

As they stumbled into their room Ruth dashed into the bathroom to grab a couple of towels, flinging one in Harry's direction she said

"Right, strip off Harry".

Suddenly she realised what she'd said, she'd uttered the words without thinking, her hands already occupied with unbuttoning her cardigan. She turned to look at Harry ready to explain what she meant but he was already making his way to the head of his bed. Removing his pyjama trousers from under his pillows he said

"I'll, I'll just pop into the bathroom and give you some space."

And with that he was gone. When he emerged Ruth was sitting by the dressing table drying her hair. Harry had donned the towelling robe supplied by the hotel over his pyjama bottoms. He held his wet clothes in his arms. Ruth took them from him and arranged them over the radiators to dry.

"I've made a pot of tea if you want it Harry, or maybe you fancy something stronger? A whisky?

"A whisky would be good Ruth, I was thinking can we eat in the room tonight? Today has been tiring and I'm shattered. Of course if you want to eat in the dining room I'll just order a sandwich and then turn in."

Ruth knew that he was trying to send up a smoke screen, that he was doing all that he could not to continue their earlier conversation.

"No, I think it's a nice idea to eat up here Harry. Just the two of us. Let's see what's on offer and we can share a bottle of wine as well. And if you look in the bottom left hand draw you'll find a very fine single malt and a couple of tumblers.

As he leant forward to open the indicated draw Harry banged his arm on the corner of the dresser causing him to swear loudly and back away cradling the arm to his body.

"Let me look Harry. I might be able to help you but we won't know until you let me see."

Ruth spoke softly almost as though she were speaking to a child and indeed Harry who was by now sitting on the edge of his bed nursing his arm looked very much like a frightened child. Once again Ruth knelt in front of him and reached for the belt of his bath robe. As her fingers began the simple task of undoing the knot she felt Harry's hand on hers.

"No, no, no, Ruth you don't want to see me. You really don't. I was never an oil painting but now, now I am repulsive. Please Ruth no."

The look in his eyes broke her heart and she took his damaged hand in hers and kissed the scar tissue and the damage where he had lost his little finger. She felt him shudder under her touch and she knew that he was on the verge of tears again. This was a Harry she didn't know, this was not the Harry that she was used to. But she was sure her Harry was still in there somewhere she just had to find him.

She got to her feet and went to retrieve the bottle and glasses pouring them both a drink. As she passed him his glass she said

"Did I tell you Harry that whilst I was in Beijing I did an aromatherapy and massage course? The embassy were very good at giving us things to do in what little spare time we had. I was very good at it, I enjoyed it. Found it very relaxing in fact. One of the reasons I enjoyed it was that we were encouraged to use Chinese balms and lotions during treatments. You'd be amazed at some of the results that can be obtained by massage, relaxation and the correct preparations"

And then in a complete shift in the conversation so he wouldn't feel she was trying to pressure him into anything he didn't want to do she said stood and moved to pick up the room service menu from the dresser before she returned to sit next to him saying

" Here let me pass you the menu and we can decide on what we want to eat."

When their meal was delivered they sat together at the table enjoying their food and discussing where they should stop next. Harry said that he'd like to spend some time exploring the New Forest, Ruth was in full agreement with this but said that she would very much like to stop off in Bogner Regis on the way.

Harry looked up from his plate and issued the immortal phrase "Bugger Bogner!" which sent them both into fits of silly laughter once more. While Ruth was wiping her eyes Harry got up from the table and retrieved his leather holdall from under his bed. From it he produced a set of ordnance survey maps which he spread across his bed.

"You'll be telling me next that you have a compass and a fire starting kit in there Harry. What do you think sat nav is for?" she chided in a friendly way.

Harry looked at her something like a twinkle in his eye

" Sometimes the old tried and tested things are the best you know Ruth. Just because something is not as young and fresh as it once was doesn't mean it's not to be given consideration."

"I'll bear that in mind Harry, but really I don't need telling you know, I've always thought that there is much to be said for older, familiar, well loved things, and the same for people really."

They stared at each other across the room and Ruth thought that Harry was going to say something to her when the moment was broken by the waiter knocking on the door. They stood in slightly embarrassed silence as the table was cleared and their breakfast menus were handed to them.

Harry broke the silence saying that he was going to get a shower and then turn in. When he emerged from the bathroom he was once again dressed in his pyjamas, but Ruth noticed that he did not have them buttoned right up to the neck tonight. She was gratified to see a triangle of wonderfully exposed skin and she found her self staring unashamedly at it. Rousing herself she gathered together her night attire and stepped into the bathroom herself. She had intended to take a quick shower but the room smelled beautifully of Harry so instead she ran herself a bath using the same product that Harry had used in his shower just to feel closer to him.

As Harry pulled back the duvet and climbed into bed he heard the bath water running. Oh My Lord he thought only a door separates us and there she is naked and glorious. What won't I give to be brave enough to get out of this bed and go to her. To offer myself to her. But instead he just listened to the sounds emanating from the en-suite conjuring erotic fantasies in his mind. Fantasies that seemed to be having very pleasing results in his nether regions!

When Ruth emerged from her bath, her hair a little damp at the ends, wearing a pair of pyjama trousers and a short sleeved fitted top Harry was surprised that he missed the oversized creation that she had worn the night before. Without really thinking about it he said to her

"Fancy a bit of a cuddle Ruth? A lot's happened today and I know that you're right, we do need to talk. I need to tell you some things, some things about me, about us. I have to find a way to make you understand, to apologise to you. To thank you, to explain my anger, oh I don't know Ruth. I just don't understand myself what I'm thinking so how am I going to find the words?"

And with that he threw himself onto his back raising his hand across his eyes. As he did so the sleeve of his pyjama jacket rode up and for the first time Ruth was able to see some of his injuries. The scar tissue ranged from bright red to pale pink against his white skin. In places it looked angry and puckered and she could only imagine how painful it must have been for him, and she couldn't help but speculate what the rest of his body looked like.

"Move over then" she told him as she slipped into the bed beside him. He seemed startled that she had made the move to be with him so quickly but his arm automatically snaked around her shoulders and she was pulled towards his chest. They took a couple of moments fitting themselves together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Her head found that place on his body between his neck and his chest that seemed to have been made just for her. And with a sigh she nuzzled in. In the meantime he had placed his chin on top of her head, breathing in the scent of her hair.

Just a short explanation of the phrase "Bugger Bogner". In 1928 George V required lung surgery and his doctors recommended that part of his convalescence should be spent by the sea. A search was made for a suitable spot and "Craigwell House" near Bogner was chosen. There are two stories as to where the "bugger" came from. The first is that as a result of his sojourn in the Bogner region he was petitioned to grant the town the suffix Regis (of the King) and when the King was presented with the paperwork as he signed it he said "Bugger Bogner!" The other is that as he lay dying his doctors told him he would soon be well enough to visit Bogner once more. And this is when he uttered the words "Bugger Bogner".