Sorry I've been gone for so long but with finals and my horrendible grade in math I've been too busy to update all my stories regularly; unfortunately the humor fics usually get pushed towards the back of the line…updates will be pretty slow until summer breaks starts but then things should probably speed up…

"Now that Nessarose and Elphaba have calmed down we can hopefully start the show again," Leia began, glancing nervously at the sisters in question. Nessa put on her best innocent face while Elphaba glared daggers.

"I have a question for Elphaba," Elphaba fan announced. "What do you like most about Fiyero?"

"Well um…"

"Please say 'nothing' so I can date him," Elphaba fan interjected. Her interruption elicited a venomous glare from the green girl.

"What's not to like?" she replied eventually. "It's kinda hard to choose just one thing." Elphaba bit her lip, still thinking. "I like his blue diamond tattoos when they're written into musicalverse fan fics. They are very hot." A general murmur of drooling agreement echoed from the audience.

"Glinda have you ever worn black?" Elphaba fan fired off. The blonde witch sighed.

"Once," she admitted grudgingly. "I bet Elphaba that I could get more phone numbers than her in a day."

"Elphaba won?" Nessarose queried incredulously.

"She cheated!" Glinda squeaked indignantly. Everyone turned to the green girl for confirmation.

"You'd be surprised how many boys will write down their number if you threaten to turn them into a frog," Elphaba snickered.

"Fiyero did you fire your driver after what he did to Elphie?" Elphaba fan asked the Winkie.

"Of course not," he scoffed. "It was an accident anyway and Avaric is a close friend of mine."

"Plus he hated me at that point," the witch of the west added.

"I've got a question for Madame Morrible," webeta 123 called out. "What did you mean when you said 'if you do much for the Wizard he'll do much for you'? Emphasis on the you." Again several malicious snickers signaled to the headmistress that this question had perverted implications.

"I simply meant that he gave me the position of press secretary because I informed him of Elphaba's powers," she growled.

"So it's only a rumor that you're his mistress," Nessarose chirped. Shocked silence fell over the crowd and Morrible turned bright red. In fact she looked something like a bloated, wrinkly, tomato.

"That was totally uncalled for!" she sputtered angrily, slamming down into her seat. Nessarose smiled with grim satisfaction.

"I do believe we've created a new Wicked pairing," Leia chortled. "Worrible."

"Or Mizard," Boq added.

"Well I've got a question for the Wizard," webeta 123 shot in. "If you had discovered Elphaba's parentage earlier in the show would you have still killed her?"

"Of course not!" the thoroughly embarrassed man scoffed. "What kind of question is that? I may not be perfect but I wouldn't knowingly kill my own daughter."

"Elphaba I hear that witches like to wear red and white striped pantyhose," Bailey Lautner pointed out. "Do you wear them?"

"I think you mean red and black striped pantyhose like in 'The Wizard of Oz' movie," Nessarose corrected snobbishly.

"I don't," Elphaba replied honestly. "But Nessarose does. I believe if you look closely you can see that she's wearing them in 'The Wicked Witch of the East'."

"You can also see them when her feet are sticking out from beneath that house," Boq chuckled quietly.

"Elphaba prefers black and green striped pantyhose," Fiyero informed the audience. This comment earned him an emerald elbow in his side. "Well you do," he retorted.

"But you don't have to share that with everyone," Elphaba hissed, cheeks darkening. "How would you like it if I told everyone that you wear bright blue boxers?" Now it was the Winkie's turn to blush. When the laughter settled down B00K freak took the mike.

"Elphaba if you had the Wizard and Morrible before you and a gun with one bullet who would you kill and who would you spare?" she queried.

"Give me a gun and we'll find out," the green girl replied cryptically.

"That will not be necessary!" Leia interrupted anxiously. "Please; no firearms allowed."

"Fine," Elphaba huffed. "Morrible definitely. I mean she killed my sister and announced to the world that I was a distorted, repulsing wicked witch. According to Gregory McGuire I did bludgeon her to death with a trophy."

At this the headmistress began to inch warily away.