Chapter 10 – Moving forward

"You know, I think you're right," Rick said as he gently swayed her to the rhythm of the music.

"About what?" she asked with her head resting on his shoulder. Completely comfortable and at peace. From where she was she could see Jenny and Ryan dancing, so happy. She wanted that for herself.

"Second time will be the charm," he said and she could feel him rest his cheeck on the crown of her head.

"Really?"

"Yes, she's going to be my second and done," he said with conviction.

She pulled her head up and looked into his eyes. She had no idea what possessed her. She'd blame the wine she had, or the atmosphere, the giddiness of seeing two dear friends joining their lives forever. But the truth was, she knew this had been coming for a while and all the talk of marriage of the last case had her thinking a lot. About what she wanted. Yes, she had wanted to be better, whole, for him. But he was also right, they were both messes, and when wouldn't they be? When she arrested her mother's murderer? Would that fix her? If the past few months of helping him deal with the problems from getting his memories back taught her anything, it was that there was never a perfect moment in life. Things were just going to keep happening. They kept going forward. Cases kept coming. Maybe she'd get a new clue maybe not.

She had been much more involved in his life, almost like a girlfriend. She was always over at his place. She helped with Harry, who sometimes still had trouble with the loud family he had gained and navigated towards her, because she too had been intimidated by the Castle's effervescent energy at one time, and sometimes still was. But Harry also showed her she should take the leap. The little boy had so many more reasons to be closed off than she did and yet he didn't shy away. He jumped straight in. He took things as they came, and yes, maybe sometimes they overwhelmed him, but he still faced them and so should she. She should take that last step. So she leaned forward and her lips touched his and she could sense his surprise.

"Kate," he whispered and she smiled because he always reserved Kate for the more intimate moments and she decided she would do the same. Up until now she had used Rick as a defense, when she wanted to push him away, but no more.

"Rick," she whispered capturing his lips again.

"What about your walls?"

"I don't like them."

"Me neither," he smiled at her and captured her lips in turn.

That day they made a giant leap forward. That day she knew she had moved towards being his second and done.

Xx

Rick opened the door and was surprised to be faced with his sister, saddled with all the bags she had left with.

"Not a word," she said.

"Kay," he said gently lowering the strap of her carryon from her shoulder and pulling her into an embrace.

"I need a place to stay. Just for a while."

"You know you can always come back here."

"I mean a real while, not mother's just a while."

He smiled because he knew she was serious. Robin liked her independence too much to not get her own place soon. Meanwhile, he'd pamper her. And tell her the good news.

"Kate kissed me," he smiled giddily into the embrace.

Robin looked at him surprised.

"And?" she asked excited.

"And that," he answered. "At Ryan's wedding. We danced, we kissed, then we danced some more, then we kissed. Then we talked and we're dating."

"And?"

"I just told you."

"Seriously, no more and? How old are you?"

"We're taking things slow."

"I'll say."

"Can you just be happy for me?" he huffed.

"I am," she smiled hugging him back. "Should mother and I give her the talk?"

"No," he said back firmly.

Xx

"You think I shouldn't trust him?" he asked from the passenger seat. They had arrived at the garage Mr. Smith had told him to be a lot earlier. They wanted to see if they could catch a license plate, anything that would help them identify him. Mr. Smith had said he had information on Weldon's case and Rick wanted to believe he did. This case couldn't be wrapped up fast enough. He and Kate had been doing so well. He had taken her out on dates, just the two of them, without the rest of the family and she had continued to stop by for movie night, laser tag night and pretty much any family activity, she had even stopped on Christmas day after her shift. He knew Harry's puppy eyes were what she couldn't resist but who was he to complain? And on New Year's Eve they kissed at midnight, which in his opinion was a great way to start the year. He had been so happy she said yes to coming to his New Year's Eve party that he hadn't batted an eye when Sherlock said the Longbottoms were coming with him. Normally, without any cloak and dagger. Alice had squealed a bit at meeting the inspiration to Nikki Heat before she and Frank were engaged in discussions with El and Peter about the options for Neville's schooling. And then this case happened. And they'd been at odds because he didn't want to believe Bob was a killer.

"We don't know who he is," she told him in a quiet voice.

"Not Smith, Weldon," he clarified. "You think I'm deluding myself and maybe I am. Wouldn't be the first time," he snorted self-deprecatorily. "Maybe I'm just a bad judge of character."

"No you're not," she said firmly and took his face into her hand making him look at her. "You trust people. You have every reason not to. Not just after you got your memories back but before. How could you know the person you were talking to wasn't who had harmed you? And yet you never let that jade you. Stop seeing the good in people first. That's a quality Rick, that's not a flaw. And yes, you'll encounter a bad apple here and there, but don't let that change you, because you're right, most people deserve the benefit of the doubt that you give them. I wish I was more like that," she smiled at him.

He smiled gently at her, "I've known him since before I published in a 'Hail of Bullets,'" he explained. "He is a fan of my books, yes. But before he ran for mayor, before I was published, when he was a city councilor he came looking for us. He had read about our case in the paper and he had wanted to know what was being done to help us. I wasn't getting much anywhere in terms of jobs. I was getting an odd job here and there but he helped me get the job as a bartender at the Old Haunt. He may not be one of my closest friends. Just a poker buddy, like you call them, but I saw then that he cared. For every one of his constituents. For the little guy. He wants to make all our lives better. And that's why I trust him Kate. And maybe he played me, he is a politician after all, but I want to believe he didn't. Because you're right. Just because some people hurt us, we shouldn't close ourselves out to others," he finished taking her hand and she smiled at him.

The moment was broken by a chime on her phone indicating they should get ready. Rick was going to meet Smith alone. They didn't want him knowing Kate knew about him but she would stay hidden in the car and hopefully get images of him with the camera she brought.

Xx

"Can't you try facial recognition," Frank asked. "Yeah, I know all about that now," he said proudly.

"Wow, Sherlock lets you two work one case with him and now you're experts," Rick snorted over his beer and Kate slapped his arm. Sherlock had arrived with the Longbottoms in tow after they had apparently helped him on a case for the NYPD. They had ordered pizza and Harry and Neville had gone to Harry's room to play. Alexis hadn't been home yet. She was at yet another internship. Rick was just surprised Charlie hadn't been with them, but Frank and Alice explained Charlie had to go back to England before Christmas with his father and while Arthur had come back to continue working Charlie had to go back to school or he'd have to redo his last year.

Rick had been surprised by this because he had clearly heard Alexis Skyping with Charlie, which was when Sherlock explained he had acquired a smartphone for Charlie with extra batteries the boy would have to Apparate somewhere to charge on weekends so he could connect from Hogwarts. And Charlie had been pleasantly surprised to find out the myth of electronics not working at Hogwarts was just that, a myth – which had surprised only the British wizards, after all, if magic interfered with electronics there would be entire areas of London where they wouldn't work - and while Hogsmeade might be all magical there were cell towers close enough for Charlie to still be able to connect himself to the internet.

Apparently, the others were at full steam. While Hogwarts was having to content with substitute teachers for the Heads of House positions, they were learning a lot and were building quite the plan for revamping Wizarding Education in England. Rick was pleasantly surprised with that. According to Frank and Alice, Sirius was taking quite the leadership role and if they kept at this they'd be able to have the plan fully formed before the end of the month, allowing for most of them to go back to England to present the plan. Frank and Alice where entertaining the idea of remaining here. Being a liaison between the Americans and the British and when Sherlock had been busy with a case, they had accidentally, on purpose, butted in.

"I was an Auror, what did you expect? For me to stay at home twiddling my thumbs?" Frank had been unapologetic.

They had arrived when Rick and Kate had been in his office discussing the mysterious Mr. Smith and his contributions to clearing Weldon. Moreover, who could have interest in not letting Weldon move up. They always knew the dragon was powerful, but they had also always assumed he was in the New York sphere. They were reconsidering their notions now.

While Neville had rapidly gone up the stairs in search of Harry when Sherlock opened the door, Sherlock, being Sherlock, had no qualms in just walking straight to the office and opening the door without knocking and therefore catching Rick and Kate red-handed. He had not been impressed at being left out of the loop and at first, Kate had not been comfortable with the fact that Frank and Alice were there. Relaxing only after both of them swore vows of secrecy, which being recognition magic could still be done despite their magic dampening bracelets (which according to Frank had done more to encourage the rest of the delegation to understand non-magical things than any speech could have done, since they were having to basically live non-magically).

After dinner, after the boys had gone up again and his mother had excused herself to some event she had, and since Robin had moved in with Ted, which Rick thought could only end badly, only the five of them had remained at the table and of course, the subject of Mr. Smith arose again.

"We are flying under the radar," Kate explained. "If we run a match for Mr. Smith the dragon may be alerted and then the deal Rick has with Smith goes out the window."

"Still, he is someone Montgomery trusted with the lives of his children," Sherlock said. "He wasn't a passing acquaintance. Maybe Evelyn Montgomery would know more."

"Yeah, maybe," Kate said uncomfortable and Rick squeezed her hand. He knew she had avoided talking to Evelyn. She thought the woman might blame her. Rick had contacted Evelyn a few times, to make sure everything was okay with them. His lawyers helping her square everything with Roy's pension and the royalties he received from the Nikki Heat books. They all did. Rick had insisted that the major inspirations for his books should be compensated, after all, they put up with him and he made a ton of money from his books. Even separating their shares, he still made a ton of money. They had all been very reticent at first, so he had instead created a fund for each where Black Pawn deposited their share, to do as they pleased. Rick knew Roy had been keeping that fund as a college fund for his children. And he thought Kevin might be doing the same. Kate and Espo he wasn't sure, but he knew they hadn't touched the fund much.

But other than that he hadn't talked to the woman in months, preoccupied with his own problems. But maybe they should make contact now. He would wait for Kate's cue though.

Xx

"Excuse me," he heard the British accent from behind him and turned around on his chair by Beckett's desk to see Severus Snape looking quite uncomfortable in the middle of the 12th police precinct. He raised an eyebrow in question. "We're leaving soon. Myself and the other teachers. Sirius, Frank, Alice and Arthur will remain, but we have been away from the school for too long and we need to be there for the final stretch of OWLS and NEWTS. I wanted to talk to you before we left."

The thought of denying the request did cross his mind but a quick glance at Beckett who was talking to Gates changed his mind. He should hear Severus out and he had been thinking a lot about them lately.

"Sure," he got up. "Let's go to the break room. We'll have more privacy there."

In the last few weeks he had been thinking about his friends a lot. Especially after they had a case involving the CIA where he met an old source of his, Sofia Turner. When he had first started writing his first Derek Storm novel he had asked his publisher if there was a chance they could get him in contact with someone in the CIA so he could learn more about procedures and such. He took pride on a good research. Even his first books had quite the research thanks to his work as a bartender. At the time, the Old Haunt attracted all kinds of people, and he had met a lot of his sources, in both sides of the law, while serving them drinks. But he had never met a spy. And he knew he wouldn't get far, but he thought maybe someone could give him an overview. He had been surprised when Black Pawn had managed to secure him several interviews and the shadowing of at least one agent. He knew now, thanks to Sophia, that the CIA had been interested in knowing more about him and his complete lack of memory – apparently, they liked to keep appraised of suspiciously weird cases - so they had humored him to get closer to him.

He started shadowing Sophia not long after Kyra had broken up with him. Sophia was sophisticated, intriguing and older than him. All things that intrigued him and his injured heart enough to make him interested in a tryst. They hadn't had anything serious, he was still hurt by Kyra and she – well turns out she wasn't a good person. He had shadowed her for six months. The last time he'd seen her had been just little over a year before meeting Kate for the first time.

Sophia ended up being a traitor, and he had learned a lot from this case.

He had learned Kate was the jealous type. She had been in a tizzy since she first realized he had been with Sophia. Very possessive, and aside from an awkward situation at the morgue with Alexis, he had very much enjoyed how Kate seemed to always place herself between himself and Sophia and, despite being in public, went off character and seemed to be landing quite the possessive touches.

"She was never like you. I never followed her on the field. You and me, we're partners. We're best friends and we love each other. Yes, Sophia and I had sex, but she never meant anything to me and I clearly never meant anything to her," he had assured Kate nevertheless.

He had learned the CIA kept an uncomfortable close eye on him because of first his lack of memory and now his status as the father of the Boy Who Lived. Especially since how Harry had lived had yet to be determined. Probably never would be.

And he had learned he had a half-sister. Oh, yes. That had been fun. As Sophia was about to blow his brains off, someone shot her instead. Her former partner. He wasn't alone. Apparently, after being ran off the super-secret CIA base he had contacted a former MI-6 agent he had worked with and had used him being in danger as a reason for her to trust him over Sophia and help him.

Turns out, that while the CIA may not have known who he was before, they had always known who Jackson Potter was. According to his newly found sister, Haley Shipton, he was MI-6, sometimes lent to the CIA for black ops. So when he turned out to be Jackson's son, they connected the dots. Jackson, apparently had not been completely forthcoming with his mother and had had quite the relationship with Haley's mother, in between him and Robin.

When all the mess about him and Harry had come out on the news, Haley had wanted to meet him but she hadn't known how to approach. Their father had confessed to her about her half-siblings quite some years back, after his fake death, when he asked her to keep an eye on Harry. Haley, who had gone to Beauxbatons, because her mother might be non-magical but was no dummy and Jackson had explained Hogwarts to her, tried to keep an eye on Harry, had even managed to be inside the house, but like the others, she had been fooled by the wards.

She had come to the US a few months ago and had been trying to concoct a good way to approach them when Agent Danberg called her. She had also squashed his hopes of actually seeing Jackson.

"He's not the fatherly type, and the work he does, let's just say that he is actually being a good parent by keeping his distance. He only contacted me after I joined MI-6."

"But you're not, MI-6 anymore?"

"No," she shook her head. "I'm looking for a different life. And all those times of watching Harry and wondering where Sarah – sorry Robin was. I wondered if I could have a different life," she shrugged. "Jackson didn't have a clue where they went. He tried his brother, but, they never got along and Jackson didn't have any real pull and Charlus just refused to say where any of them were. I read in the papers they had been saying Harry was with your mother. We didn't have even that information. So he asked me to look. He didn't want to draw attention to him looking. I never found your mother and sister but I did eventually find Harry in the Surrey school system. I'm sorry the wards fooled me."

"They seemed to have fooled a lot of people," he had nodded. "I'm a famous writer," he added and she smirked.

"Not as famous as you might think," she snorted. "And I was a spy. Last thing I did to unwind was read about spies. Sure, I'd heard about Richard Castle, but I've never actually read one of your books. Oh, don't look so scandalized. I'm pretty sure the same was true for him. Believe me, had we known where you were this whole mess would have been solved much sooner."

He hadn't known what to think of her, and Lanie did run a DNA test to verify her story, but after the test he had taken her to meet the rest of the family. He only realized too late what he'd done when he and Harry had been left there staring alone and unprotected against five women. He gulped and hoped he and Kate had all boys one day. They were severely outnumbered.

All in all, at the end of this case he was once again thinking of how he could have trusted someone and been so wrong. Kate had once again affirmed that wasn't a flaw, and he had been right about Weldon, but he was thinking that his sister might be right too, and he was being too harsh. Demanding too much.

He closed the door to the breakroom and waited for Severus to begin.

"I wanted to apologize, again. Like I said. I have no excuse. I wish I had done more."

"Frank and Alice told me what you did for them," Rick said simply. "I'm not going to lie to you Severus. The friendship we had before. That trust that had been built from a clandestine friendship isn't there anymore. I can't trust you that way again and I am still angry. But I've also been hearing of what you've been doing. How hard you've been working to include the non-magical curriculum and restructure education. Something that back then you abhorred. How many times didn't we argue over that?" he smiled fondly reminiscing. "That you can put your anger at your father aside for this, makes me think you can change. We all can. I've certainly changed. I've changed in the last eight years. I've changed a lot in the last four, since meeting Kate. And I've seen her change. I think we need to accept that. That we may never have what we had before."

"Maybe we can have something new. I'll be back during the summer. There are classes that the teachers will be taking. Maybe we could meet. Have a pint. No strings attached."

"Maybe we could. Do you have a pen? I'll give you my number," Rick asked.

"I have a smartphone," Severus pulled out a brand new phone. "We all had to get one. We all have email now."

"See, the old Severus would be cringing at that not smiling," he said taking the phone to add his information.

"I have to admit I've become quite fond of the Internet. Did you know I can access potion journals from all over the world right there?"

"And there's the old Severus," Rick laughed.

"Did Frank and Alice tell you about how I read your books?" Severus asked cautiously and Rick nodded. "I feel so stupid now. Not realizing you were the writer all along. I liked them so much. They felt familiar. Now I know why. If only I had realized you were the writer, I would have done something. I hope you can believe me."

"You know what Severus," Rick said handing him back his phone. "There are so many if onlys in this story that I think we're better off looking forward. And like Frank and Alice said, making sure this doesn't happen again. That someone doesn't have the power Dumbledore had to commit so many crimes with such ease."

"I'm working on that," Severus said firmly.

"I know," Rick nodded.

Xx

After talking with Severus and receiving a notice that Dumbledore's trial had been set and he'd have to testify, Rick had decided to go talk to Charlus Potter. He had asked Robin and his mother but his mother had declined, saying she wasn't interested in anything Charlus had to say.

So, he and Robin had gone to Sing Sing, a place he had never wanted his sister to set foot into, and had waited for Charlus to join them in the visitation room. He didn't know what he had been expecting. Maybe the arrogant man he was used to. Justifying his actions as he had always done. What he hadn't expected was an apology.

"I've treated both of you as properties. No, sorry, I've treated all of you as properties. Pawns to be placed at the most convenient location. Nothing I'll ever do will be enough to make up for that. For failing as your father and as your Head of House," he had smiled grimly as Robin and Rick could only gape at him at a loss for words. "The Potter Head of House is supposed to protect his family and I didn't. When you turned twenty-five Ja- sorry, Richard, you abdicated in my favor."

"That was the custom," Rick mumbled. Back when the House of Potter was still the House of Peverell, Ignotus Peverell had established that when reaching the age of twenty-five, the youngest firstborn of the direct line became the Head of House to ensure the line didn't become stagnant, as witches and wizards could live to 200. If the Head of House didn't have direct heirs, then the heir would come from one of his siblings, which was why Charlus wanted his apparent heir to have Potter blood. If he had adopted the line would not have recognized his heir and Jackson's firstborn would have been the heir, which was the case here. But despite Ignotus Peverell's best intentions, in the last few generations, the habit had become for the current heir to always abdicate in favor of the already established Head of House and at the time he had seen no harm in continuing the tradition.

"I know. But had you abdicated today, the magic would not accept me as the continuing Head of House because I broke the first law of this house. I didn't protect our family," he said simply. "Yes, being arrested made the magic strip me of my title and hand you the title, but I've had time to realize that had I needed any of the strong family magic during these eight years, I would have lost the title as the magic assessed me."

"So that's why you're sorry?" Robin asked hurt. "Because you lost your precious title."

"No," he shook his head sadly. "That is just a statement of my realization of how much I have failed. And an apology, that I hope won't completely fall on deaf ears. And a statement, that I know now, the Head of House is in good hands. Because, unlike me, you understand what family really means."

Rick looked at him with a closed expression. "I've signed a proxy for Mycroft Holmes to vote with my seat. If you expect me to vote, you're wrong."

"I've never heard of Mycroft Holmes."

"He's a non-magical," Robin explained and Charlus looked surprised.

"How can he-"

"There's a loophole," Rick smirked. "There is nothing saying a Wizengamot seat needs to be held by a Wizard or Witch, just that the person needs to be aware of the Wizarding World. I hear the Wizengamot was not happy when he first showed up. Granted, apparently they railed at mother, they hadn't known I was alive at the time."

Charlus nodded, "I trust you know best," and Rick's jaw fell. Had the man suffered a personality transplant? He didn't realize he had asked out loud until Charlus laughed.

"No, I've been locked up here with no access to magic and having to deal with criminals of all sorts. Let's just say I've had time to put my actions into perspective," he swallowed. "I've tried to convince Albus to take the deal but he is still adamant that all he did is forgivable because he was acting for the greater good. To be honest, I've come to realize, that I don't think Albus is all there anymore."

"You mean he is going for the insanity defense," Robin deadpanned.

"No, his lawyer tried to convince him to try, but no. He really thinks what he did, what we both did is justifiable. And to tell you the truth, so did I, when I was in power, just pulling the strings and not seeing the consequences."

They hadn't forgiven Charlus and they probably would never go visit him again, but talking to him had done Rick some good. Hearing him admit he had wronged them long before this all started.

Talking to Charlus and Severus. Learning about Sophia, had made him realize he wanted to talk to Remus one more time before the man left. Before they parted ways for good, because Robin had been right and he shouldn't have expected or even asked what he asked of Remus, but Remus shouldn't have accepted either. Let him think he had things covered. He raised his hand when he saw Remus enter the coffee shop he had told him to meet at and was glad he was alone. He'd have to talk to Sirius at some point but, like he had been able to talk to Severus alone, he wanted to have this talk just the two of them.

Remus approached and Rick noticed he was better dressed than last time. He had noticed the same in Severus. The first time he had seen them all, despite wearing non-magical clothes, they had all been mismatched, outdated. Now Remus was using the proper fashion for the year and was well dressed. He had also managed to text Rick back. Rick could see they were making progress even in the little things.

"I didn't expect you to contact me again, I confess," Remus said taking a seat in front of Rick.

"Me neither. But I needed to clear the air. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. A lot."

He saw Remus nod and took a deep breath before starting, "They are my children. They are a part of me. And if you can't accept that then we can't be friends anymore, but that doesn't change the years we did have. I've thought a lot about all of this and my sister is right. Drifting apart doesn't make either one of us bad, but insisting on what isn't there anymore only makes us hurt each other. We grew up Remus. We're not little kids anymore, and that we grew up with different interests is normal. Maybe we can be acquaintances. Maybe we'll see each other every now and then. But pack, like we were in our school days, we aren't pack anymore. We hadn't been for some time and if we'd realized that, things might have gone differently."

"I agree," at Rick's look Remus smirked. "Don't look so shocked. You are not the only one who's been thinking about this. I didn't set out to hurt Harry, and I trusted Dumbledore, but the truth is, you are right. I didn't spare Harry a second thought after Dumbledore asked me not execute the will. I just went on with my life. I thought I had lost all my friends. One to Voldemort and the other two to death and I set off to rebuild my life without remembering there was someone else who might have benefited from my presence. Because, while I was happy you were happy being a parent, I also couldn't understand why they had to take so much of your time. Maybe one day I will, if I became a parent myself. But back then, and I guess, even now, I don't. I see how parents let their life revolve around their children and I don't understand why. I didn't mean any of you harm Richard, but I harmed you nonetheless and for that I am sorry. But I've finally understood that we are not compatible anymore, for lack of a better word," he smiled sadly. "I will forever cherish what we had. You were my friend, without prejudice and wholly. And, maybe if I'd had more friends like that at the time, I wouldn't have been so possessive. But I do now," he smiled. "I'm making new friends, through my work. People I'd known before but never been close to. So, thank you for that. For opening my eyes and I'm sorry. I hadn't said that before, I honestly didn't feel that before but I do now. I'm sorry for however I may have contributed to hurt you and your family."

Rick nodded. He hadn't known what to expect from this meeting but he knew this was all they really needed. Maybe one day, when the hurt wasn't so raw, they'd talk again but for now he was satisfied that they had at least cleared the air.

xx

"Let him sweat," she told Esposito as she got out of the interview room not sure she had gotten through to Bobby Lopes.

"Kate," she heard behind her and her heart dropped. Rick was coming out of the viewing room with a somber expression. "Can we talk?"

She nodded. "Not here," she looked over the bullpen. While they had not gone much further in the relationship, they also kept things at the precinct on the down low. The boys and Lanie, who had seen their make out session at the wedding, knew not to say anything to Gates. She thought the woman knew, but didn't say anything.

They walked silently towards a supply closet she knew was always empty and a good place not to be interrupted, but most importantly, one of the few places around here not covered in glass windows.

He cleared the small table on the closet as she closed the door.

"Why didn't you tell me you remembered?" he asked sitting on the table. "We're together. You know I love you," he said firmly in a strangled voice. "And I think you love me."

"I do," she ran forward running her hand through his cheeks trying to soothe him.

"Then why didn't you tell me you remembered Kate? I would have helped you deal with the memories-"

"I never forgot," she confessed.

"What?" he looked at her hurt. "You lied?"

"I couldn't deal with what happened then. I'm not justifying what I did. But I want you to understand I never meant to hurt you. My world had just turned upside down and I didn't want to lose you."

"So you lied to me? Let me think you blamed me? That you had chosen Josh?"

"I never blamed you," she said fervently shaking her head. "How could you think that?"

"How could I not? I certainly blamed myself! Why wouldn't you?" he said desperately.

"Listen to me," she said firmly making him look at her. "If you hadn't come along I would eventually had looked into my mother's murder. We've discussed this before. Yes, you may have gotten the ball rolling when you looked into my case, but if you hadn't I would have at some time. And then what? I'd be alone. No, I never blamed you and I am sorry I let you think I chose Josh. That was never my intention, but to be honest, I was so confused I didn't know what to do. And I ran. Because that's what I do best. But I don't want to run anymore. I've been seeing a therapist. I've been working on my wall and, you," she kissed him gently, "and your family, babe, you've been like a bulldozer over that wall. I don't know what I would do without you. We most certainly wouldn't be here."

He nodded because he knew she was right. If she hadn't been around so much to help him, they might still be doing their dance and he wouldn't have confronted her. He would have just assumed the worse. But over the last months they had been getting much closer. They were together. And yes, they hadn't had sex yet, which was making him use all his self-control while driving him up the wall, but he was sure she loved him. So he hadn't understood why she had lied to him.

"Why didn't you just tell me later then? When we got together?"

"I was scared," she shrugged. "You've been dealing with lying parents, friends, and I was scared to be lumped together with them."

"You wouldn't be. This is different Kate. Potter, Dumbledore. They were malicious. I would have understood. Been hurt, yes, I am hurt. But I would have understood." But he wasn't so sure he would have. At least not if she had told him when she came back. When he was still reeling about everything and had not started considering the other's side.

She swallowed and asked him, "But this experience has changed you. Changed how you act. You've been more direct. And Mr. Smith, can you honestly tell me you would have told me about him, instead of just steering me away from the case? Like he asked you to."

He nodded, "I won't deny I didn't consider the option. To protect you," he said firmly running both hands down her arms and bringing her closer.

"If there is something all this situation with your friends has taught me is; people screw up. Good people, and I screwed up and you would have screwed up if you lied to me, but never intending to hurt each other. Please forgive me. I screwed up and I didn't know how to fix my mess."

He nodded and touched his forehead to hers. "Is this what's been holding you back?"

She nodded, "I couldn't take that next step while lying to you. I felt wrong, but I also didn't know how to bring up my lie."

"Then we don't have any more lies between us. You know my dirty little secrets and I know yours and we jump together. Because I want everything with you, always."

She smiled, "Not here though."

He smiled back, "No," he shook his head kissing her. "I'll see if I can get the loft empty. I know Neal's been bugging his parents for a slumber party now that they have their D'Artagnan," he smirked at the mention of Neville, who had met the other two boys at the New Year's Eve party and had been a constant to their little group of budding criminals, as Peter called them. "I'm sure mother can make herself scarce and so can Alexis. Special dinner, just the two of us."

"It's a date," she smiled brilliantly.

Xx

A:N: Thanks for reviewing!

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