Me at the beginning of university: "Oh hey, they are making party all the time, this is going to be so chilled~ xD"
Me now: "WTF! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO STUDY SO MANY THINGS AT THE SAME TIME!?"
Chapter 10
Izaya couldn't believe it.
How could he have been so stupid? So unbelievable blind and naive?
Why had he never once thought about the possibility that this was not going to be the happy ending he had hoped for? Why had he let himself get lost in the sweet assumption that his sisters could actually be here?
Still staring at the unknown girl in front of him his legs started trembling and he lost control over his balance. In disbelief he fell to his back and sitting on the cold ground, his vision slowly began becoming blurred.
It felt like his inner mind wanted to punish him for making this mistake. For letting everyone see his human side, the hope and relief inside his heart and the love for his sisters, that actually no one should have ever seen. For breaking his own rules.
Then for making the mistake of wasting his precious time, when he could have found his sisters instead and not these unimportant girls, he didn't even care about. He wasted the precious life time of his sisters, that could be dead by now, could have died one second ago, while he had ignorantly fought a weak guy lost in the hope for rescue.
So stupid.
So useless.
Suddenly his blurry vision started to turn black at the corners of his eyesight. The blue eyes of the girl were still in the middle of it, but the black darkness was encircling the little girl in front of him more and more.
At first it seemed like the box in front of him was disappearing into the distance, but then Izaya noticed that it was his own crazy eyesight turning everything in front of him into black.
Nonetheless his mind wasn't able to fully understand what was going on, let alone try to understand it, when all he could think about was that he had left his sisters alone. Maybe even caused their deaths in this very moment.
So useless.
The words were repeated in his head again and again.
And then everything turned black.
Shizuo didn't know what was going on.
His concentration had been on the men surrounding him, when Izaya had suddenly felt into his eyesight.
The blond had figured until now that Mairu and Kururi were supposed to be in the box that was standing in front of Izaya, when the raven had desperately started to approach it.
For a few seconds - that had been at least how it had felt to Shizuo - the blond had abandoned Izaya from his eyesight to concentrate on a man attacking him with a pipe.
Those guys were small fishes, weak and stupid enough to actually attack Shizuo Heiwajima, though it was already well known how hard it was to bring the man down - if not even impossible for a normal human being.
However, the man tried it nonetheless and Shizuo just grabbed the pipe with one hand, while punching him with the other one sending him flying through the hole, the first guy had left inside the wall.
Three guys were still left and Shizuo was furious to punch the shit out of them, but then he saw Anri and Mikado coming from behind the guys.
A small smile appeared on his lips when he saw the confident expressions on their faces and when he noticed that he was still holding the pipe in his right hand, he decided to throw it through the air.
His attackers were watching him with confused eyes following the pipe's movement through the air, before it finally landed in Mikado's hands a wide smile spreading across his face.
Their eyes widened in shock when they finally noticed the two intruders, they hadn't recognized before because they had been two concentrated on the blond monster.
Noticing that their attention had left him Shizuo dared to look into Izaya's direction to find out whether the raven had been able to free his sisters yet or not.
But his eyes widened in worry, when he just saw Izaya's sitting figure. His hands were lying motionless at his sides, his switchblade on the ground. The blond's worry increased because from his position he wasn't able to see Izaya's face nor the inside of the box.
Shizuo could only guess, what the raven had seen inside the box, but the fact that his by black hair surrounded face was hanging down, his eyes rather fixed on a spot somewhere on the ground, told him that it hadn't been very pleasant.
It didn't take long for him to decide on his next step.
He grabbed the guy that was standing between him and Izaya with his hands and lifted him into the air. The man's eyes widened in surprise and shock, when he indeed had forgotten about the blond for a few seconds before a scared scream left his mouth, when Shizuo threw him through the wall.
Though the other two guys were staring at him now, he decided to leave them to Mikado and Anri, who was surprisingly holding a sword in her hand now, that he hadn't noticed before.
However, Shizuo couldn't think about anything else than Izaya right now, and the two seemed to understand when they started to attack the remaining guys, while he ran into Izaya's direction.
"IZAYA!" The blond screamed, but the raven apparently didn't hear him, because he didn't reacted, didn't even twitch, when the blond had shouted his name.
Shizuo's worry increased and he got slower when he approached the raven, whose face was still covered by his black hair and for that not visible for Shizuo.
Coming to stop next to the raven, Shizuo's head turned to the box trying to find the reason for Izaya's behavior.
His eyes widened in disbelief when he saw the box's inside, in the front a young girl with brown hair and blue eyes, in the back a blond one with green, both definitely not known by him.
Though the horrible conclusion stayed in his mind Shizuo wasn't driven by the same shock as Izaya. Instead the blond managed to put all his concentration on the raven, he worried about now even more than before.
"Izaya, are you okay?"
The blond closed in on Izaya more, trying to get a better look on the raven's face. Shizuo expected tears or another proof of sadness on the his face, but instead he just saw a masque of apathy mixed with something he couldn't define clearly - maybe fury, anger- or hate?
"You fool."
Shizuo almost didn't hear the words, when Izaya whispered them. Worriedly he tried to find some kind of emotion or something of the Izaya he knew in the raven's face, but nothing changed.
"Izaya?" Shizuo tried again, not making any sense of the raven's words.
"You are useless." The raven whispered and this time Shizuo could clearly hear the hatred, that was dripping out of each word.
The blond didn't know what Izaya was talking about nor did he know how to react to the raven's insane behavior. He wanted to try to speak to him once again, but just at the moment that Shizuo opened his mouth, the blond noticed something in Izaya's face that made a thrill go over his skin and through his flesh.
Izaya's eyes were red.
Not that rusty-red color, that his eyes sometimes had whenever light was shining at them or Shizuo concentrated on the color. No, it was more the color of blood. The color of rubies in the dark. It was a color he had never seen before and Shizuo was sure, that it wasn't normal.
Even if Izaya had eyes in the scheme of red, even if his eyes were highly illuminated by light, Shizuo knew that they wouldn't be able to shine like this.
Worriedly and a little scared Shizuo put his hand on the raven's shoulder.
"Izaya?" He asked again squeezing the raven's small shoulder with his hand, while he brought his other to the raven's face and turned it into his direction.
"Hey, don't worry. I'm here for you." The blond added when Izaya's face finally was on one line with his own. The better look on the raven's eyes let a slight fear go through the blond's veins, but for Izaya he decided to keep his cool behavior and forced an ensuring smile on his face.
His hands still on the raven, Izaya suddenly twitched under the blond's hands and his eyes shined up when they were connected with Shizuo's.
For a short moment Shizuo saw the rubies widen in surprise, before they suddenly went back to the normal color he was used to.
Shizuo blinked a few times to see if it was true. The strange eye color and the cold look on Izaya's face were gone, and instead the raven was staring at him with a confused expression.
"Shi- Shizu-chan?" Izaya asked slowly apparently not able to understand the situation nor why they were in this awkward position.
Still in shock Shizuo needed some time to handle the things he had just seen, but his worry about Izaya overtook his thoughts rapidly again and he just decided that his mind must have played him a trick before.
It must have been some kind of optical illusion. There was no other way.
Suddenly the blond noticed the raven's head becoming bright red and only slowly he understood that it was because of his hand, that was still lifting up Izaya's face from his chin.
As if he wanted to kiss him.
Immediately Shizuo let go of Izaya, while his own cheeks turned bright red.
"Are you fine now?" The blond asked his face turning to the side, when he couldn't bring up the courage to look into the raven's face in embarrassment.
Izaya blinked a few times in confusion, before he turned his head towards the box at his side, the two girls still staring at him.
Shizuo could see the raven's expression freeze and the atmosphere around them changed immediately.
Following Izaya's eyes both of them fell silent for a few seconds.
"Yeah. I'm fine." The raven finally said and Shizuo faced him this time.
"We will find them, Izaya." He tried to ensure the raven, his hand still lying firmly on the raven's shoulder.
Shizuo couldn't believe it, but Izaya even managed to bring up a smile.
"Yeah. I know." The raven said putting his own hand on Shizuo's and the blond could swear that his body immediately grew hot again when he felt the touch from skin to skin. Though Izaya's hand was cold, it was still Izaya who was touching him and Shizuo had noticed by now that whenever the raven acted cute - just like now- he had the unbelievable urge to kiss him.
Nonetheless Shizuo was sure that this wasn't the right time for something like that and instead he just nodded, before he got up from the ground and helped Izaya coming to his feet.
They shared one last look before turning around to Mikado and Anri, who had already won against the men and were now casually walking towards them.
Only a bit later all of them understood, that the situation was a win and lose at the same time.
"So you two have never seen one of these girls?" Izaya asked the brown haired girl in front of him again.
"No, I'm sorry." She answered shaking her head.
The raven sighed.
After they had told the girls, that they were here to save them and had gone out of the warehouse, Izaya had tried to ask them a few questions about his sisters.
At first the girls had been really shy, almost scared of him (and he didn't know why because normally children kind of liked him), but after a few more tries they started talking to him, though nothing useful came out of it.
They had never seen his sisters nor had they ever heard of them.
His mood was again at a very critical level between just starting to cry or kicking something with all his power out of despair.
But everyone was watching him with worried eyes. Something that made him want keep composure and to puke at the same time.
He didn't need their pity. He was fine! What he needed were his sisters, only one little hint to know if they were still alive or not, that would be enough for him. But instead he was still walking through the dark.
Pathetic.
"Take care of them." He said turning to Anri and Mikado. The brown haired boy gave him a slow nod, before the raven turned around and walked a few meters away.
Izaya needed the distance now. He needed something that would cool his head. Something like the cold wind of the night killing all the noises around him. Only its regular blowing was heard and Izaya closed his eyes for a while.
It was peaceful.
All he could feel was his own breath.
"What are you doing?" He suddenly heard from behind him and he turned around only to see Shizuo walking towards him.
"I needed to regain composure. I felt kind of ... uneasy." The raven tried to explain hoping that the blond would understand.
Shizuo was observing him for a while, before he walked closer to the raven. Only a few centimeters away he was able to see the raven's eyes, illuminated by the shine of the moon and reflecting it with their beautiful color, though it wasn't the color Shizuo thought he had seen before.
"We should go home and rest." The blond said and he felt content, when he saw a small smile appear on the raven's face.
He didn't know if it was the atmosphere of the nature around them, the silent wind singing into their ears, but Shizuo had never felt as complete as now and he was sure that Izaya felt the same. It was as if everything around them was gone and only the two of them were left in a peaceful world.
"Yeah." The raven answered then and he got closer to Shizuo and -to the blond's surprise- took him into a light embrace.
"It wasn't them." The raven whispered sadly and Shizuo understood.
"They are still alive. We will find them." He whispered into the raven's right ear. He could feel the man's little hands grabbing his shirt from behind and holding tightly to it.
The blond returned the embrace. He knew that it was all he could do now to help Izaya. Just hold him. That would do it. It wouldn't heal the illness, but the pain would be gone for at least the next seconds.
The wind was blowing the sweet scent of Izaya's hair to his nose and Shizuo's face turned red during that moment and even remained like that when Izaya finally let go of him. Embarrassed Shizuo looked to the side gliding with one hand through his hair. He only turned back when he saw the beautiful smile on Izaya's face again and he just couldn't let go of the sight.
After all that happened Izaya was still able to give him a smile and Shizuo couldn't even vocalize how happy he was about that fact.
Still there was one single thing left that he needed to get clear about.
"Hey, what was that before?"
Izaya looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Why were you acting so strange before in the warehouse?"
Instead of an answer Izaya was just giving him a questioning look. Shizuo gulped. Could it really be that Izaya didn't remember?
"Can you remember what you did after you found out that your sisters weren't inside the box?" Shizuo tried and a strange fear started spreading inside his chest when he saw the musing expression on the raven's face.
"I opened it and I was shocked. The next moment you were right beside me." The hint of a smile was shown on his face, when he said the last words, though it vanished really fast. "Why are you asking?" The raven added instead and observed Shizuo with piercing eyes.
Shizuo stayed silent for a moment.
"Do you remember saying something before you noticed me?"
"No." Izaya hurried in confusion. "Shizu-chan, what's wrong? Why are you asking me all those questions?"
Izaya indeed didn't seem to remember anything of what he had said in the warehouse.
You are useless.
Shizuo gulped at his memory. He was sure that he had heard those words and he was also sure about the strange color in Izaya's eyes.
What could have happened at that very moment, when Izaya had opened the box?
Maybe it wasn't Izaya, who was turning insane but him, who had imagined all these things. Shizuo sighed. There was no way in continuing to worry about it. Izaya definitely didn't know and without the raven, Shizuo wouldn't be able to find out anyway. For that he just decided to put it aside.
"Nothing. I was just very worried, when I saw you." The blond answered and he was content again, when he saw a smile spreading on Izaya's face.
"I guess then, Shizu-chan is still too worried to let me go home alone~" The raven chirped and if Shizuo didn't know better, he would say Izaya was flirting with him.
"Hell, I'm too worried to let you live alone until your sister's are back!" He replied causing a laugh to escape the raven's mouth.
"How nice of Shizu-chan! I always wanted to have an own bodyguard~" The raven sang while passing Shizuo in some kind of dancing motion.
Shizuo just grinned at that, before he started following the raven.
Still a small doubt was left inside his head. Izaya seemed too calm making Shizuo think that the raven's cheery behavior was just once again a way of hiding his true despair.
But for now Shizuo was sure, that no matter what was going to happen, he would remain at Izaya's side and protect him.
Izaya's eyes opened slightly, when the moon's shine was falling once again on his face. The big round planet was shining in an abnormal silvery color and the raven had to blink a few times to notice, that it also was way too big for being real.
Looking from his window it seemed as if he was directly living next to the moon.
The second thing that appeared strange to him, was the fact that he was lying in his own bedroom.
Izaya could clearly remember that he had gone to Shizuo's home the night before and the blond had even been friendly enough to give Izaya his bed, because the raven had appeared so exhausted to him.
It had been totally strange, but Izaya had indeed been too exhausted and hadn't protested at the blond's idea.
However, now that Izaya figured that the whole situation wasn't normal, there was only conclusion left for him: He was dreaming.
And if that wasn't strange, than he didn't know either.
Were people supposed to know that they were dreaming while they were sleeping?
Izaya had always thought that this wasn't possible and he surely had never heard about something like that.
Curiosity overtook him and he wanted to stand up and get to know his new discovered dream world, when suddenly something strong got hold of his legs and pushed them into the sheets.
Izaya's eyes widened when he saw the blanket that was lying over his body, began to be raised into the air.
Afraid he stared at the blanket in front of him, that suddenly stopped moving. Izaya could still feel the firm grip on his legs. Actually he wanted to run, but he couldn't, no matter what he was trying, and he feared that the thing sitting on him would do something if he started to move.
Still Izaya had to see.
His hand wandered to the end of the blanket and began lifting it -and his eyes widened in fear, when he saw the thing under it.
It was his own self, that he had seen before in his dreams. It was watching him with shining bloody eyes and a malicious grin was spread all over its face.
Suddenly it grabbed Izaya at the side of his hips and pulled him down. The raven tried to scream or to fight, but he was too driven by fear, when he was pulled under the blanket.
The demonic thing started giggling, when the raven lied directly under it, his eyes staring at it widely. Though it was dark under the blanket, its eyes kept shining in red.
Izaya could feel that his body was trembling, although he wasn't able to move at all.
"This is not real." He whispered to himself and the malicious grin of his double widened, when a row of giggles escaped its lips.
"What if it is?" His doppelganger replied and Izaya twitched at the coldness of the voice.
"No. This is a dream." The raven tried to ensure himself, but the thing just kept giggling.
"Well, if the mind doesn't want to admit, pain should do the trick~" It then started singing with his malicious voice and Izaya only understood the words, when a big blade started growing out of the other's mouth.
"Why don't we see if your eyes can become as red as mine~" It then giggled.
The horrible meaning behind his words only started spreading inside the raven's mind when the blade was slowly lowered towards his left eye.
In shock the raven tried to fight back, but the thing above him was just too inhumanly strong.
"No! Let go!"He started screaming, but it didn't change a thing.
The only reply was the malicious giggling, he heard until the blade began cutting into his eye and was slowly put deeper inside.
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!"
At that moment Izaya couldn't hear anything else than his scream, when pain was the only thing left inside his body.
Wasn't this the moment where he should wake up?!
Why wasn't he waking up?!
"Now Izaya, tell me: What is real?~"
Sorry for the long wait. My life is seriously fucked up right now.
I will try to update constantly nonetheless, because the next chapter is going to be fluffy.
And everybody needs fluff in his life *^*
Review, if you want~