As I fall into Stefan's chest, he continues with his story, stumbling over words a bit. I sense that this is where it gets even more complicated.
"After a few months passed, and I was sure that Damon had left me for good, I became even more furious. The pain had subsided and now all I wanted was to hurt him like he hurt me. I didn't know how to do that from miles away, though. Katherine and I became closer and closer. She was all I had left on the planet. I needed someone to keep me together and she was willing to be that person. One night she kissed me and I was terrified. Katherine was Damon's whole world. Could I really get involved with her after she tore him apart? My thought process was totally immoral at this point. I realized how much I wanted to hurt him, so I didn't care if it was wrong."
So, to get revenge on Damon, Stefan had a fling with Katherine. I'd never heard of Katherine. In fact, I'd never heard of any ex girlfriends of Stefan's. I wonder if he loved her, or if he ever thinks about her now. She sounds gorgeous and they have so much in common. He really has a thing for girls with tragic pasts, huh? Despite my fear of hearing more about him and Katherine, I ask him to continue.
"I'm ashamed of it, but Katherine and I connected and I used that as a weapon against my brother, whether he was there to see it or not. Eventually it became more than that and I did truly care for her. She reminded me a lot of him. Maybe that's what I saw in her. She was reckless and carefree. I needed some of that in my life. So, that went on for about a year until Damon came back when I was about fifteen. He showed up at the Fell's door one night really late. Mrs. Fell was livid, so I went outside to talk with him. The first thing I did was hit him. He acted so shocked and disgusted. I didn't feel any remorse, though. That's what abandonment does to a kid. "
Stefan tries to recount the conversation between the two brothers. My mind enters a dreamlike trance—I can see it. I can hear every word.
"So you decided to show your face again? After two years?" Stefan yelled.
"I figured I was ready to forgive you and move on. "
"Forgive me? Damon, you abandoned me. You left me here without anyone. I needed you and you left me over Katherine. People get their hearts broken all the time. Man the hell up and be there for your little brother!"
"You've got to be kidding me! How can you stand there and act so self righteous, Stefan? After all that you've done!"
"Enlighten me as to what I've done because all I've been doing for the past 2 years is trying to find a family."
"You must have had a lot of time on your hands to balance finding a family and sleeping with Katherine."
"What?"
"She told me. The night I left."
I can see the confusion on Young Stefan's face and Damon's anger is almost palpable. My intense reverie persists as Stefan describes the events.
"The night you left, Katherine asked me to run away with her, but that's hardly my fault."
"She chose you, Stefan. Just like they all do. I knew somehow you'd reel her in, just like you did to everyone we've ever known. I thought she chose me. She could've had anyone in the world, but she chose me—until she chose you."
"Damon this is getting really screwed up because I don't understand what you're saying I did."
"I left that night after she told me she couldn't be with me anymore. She said she loved you."
I see Dream Stefan's eyes dart back and forth and he begins to understand that it's all a huge misunderstanding: a comic tragedy.
"But Katherine and I were friends. Nothing more. I wouldn't do…"
Young Stefan's innocence seems to drain from his eyes as he falls to his knees. In a comedy of errors, he'd done exactly what Damon was accusing him of, just not in that timeframe.
"Damon…..I was never with Katherine. So that's why she asked me to leave with her that night… I didn't leave. I couldn't leave without you. I waited for you to come back and then you didn't."
Damon gives an angry yet compliant nod, then sighs.
"That's not surprising. You don't hurt people the way Katherine and I do. I just assumed… Either way, she chose you. I couldn't take it. I know I act like these things don't affect me but they do. I can't deal with the pain of always failing in comparison to you, Stefan. It's agonizing. But I do need you in my life, so maybe there's some chance in hell that we can work this out."
My reverie ceases as Stefan stops talking to catch his breath and inconspicuously wipe his eye. This is horrifying. Did he tell Damon what really happened with Katherine? Do I even want to know? My heart hurts for this man. He'd been tricked by a cruel series of events. His words were steady, but he continued. I try to pay more attention to his demeanor and words than my own delusion.
"Elena, I didn't want to tell him. I was still furious that he left over something so trivial, but there was hope that we could fix things. I avoided telling him, but I knew he'd find out soon enough. It's a small town and it was better that he heard it from me than from a stranger. So, I told him how badly I wanted to get back at him. He understood. He was crushed, but he understood. That is until I told him how the relationship had transformed. He asked me to leave her. We'd forget everything and move on. I couldn't, though. She was all I had for the past year. I loved her. He couldn't accept that and said it was betrayal all the same. Thus, he left me again. It was harder this time. I guess that's partially because he'd left me because of Katherine again, and but mostly because I knew I'd really hurt him."
This was Stefan's darkest demon. He feels he's the reason for his brother's downfall.
Thank you so much for all the views, follows, reviews, etc. It means a lot! The story is about to take a super interesting turn. It'll stray from the general plot verrrry soon. I can't wait to share it with all of you. I'm trying to upload a few chapters at a time because they're told from different perspectives, giving different mini-stories. I don't know if that makes sense, but it did at the time. Anyways, the next few chapters will bring conflict and a peculiar alliance. Keep reading!
xoxo Liz