Happy New Year! As a present to you guys for making it thus far- get ready for *drum roll* Dean's return!

Parting Ways II

I want you to know
That it doesn't matter
Where we take this road
But someone's gotta go
And I want you to know
You couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on
So I'm already gone

Day 0: Train station

The train was delayed- which was something he didn't know whether to be grateful for or not. Sitting next to Cas on the hard plastic bench was more painful than he had thought possible. Next to him, Cas was mute, not offering in a word to help the situation along. Nervously, Dean rambled on about what to expect. What to eat, what to avoid. How great different types of clothes are… he made predictions aloud as to whether or not Cas would be a tea or coffee person. He put his money on tea, openly hypothesizing that Cas was weird and would therefore like it; that his favorite would be some rag-tag blend only made in the mountains by a secluded village isolated from the rest of humanity.

Cas didn't offer any substance to the one-sided debate, however.

Fidgeting somewhat while trying to pull a conversation out of thin air, Dean took in Cas' profile. His back was rigidly straight, the only dip being in his shoulders where his head hung low. He never once looked back at him, his eyes fixed firmly to a spot on the ground off to his left. His face gave nothing away- as blank a slate as when they had first met.

Cas hadn't said much since the day previous. After Dean had left his room, they hadn't spoken. When he woke up- he had followed the smell of coffee into the kitchen; only to see Cas sitting awkwardly on the couch with all his things packed on the floor in front of him and a cup of coffee in hand. Working his throat roughly, Dean said, "I guess you're ready to go then?"

Cas had nodded, not quite meeting his eyes.

Feeling guilty, Dean turned around and mumbles something about leaving after they stopped at the store and had picked out a couple more things for him to bring, but Cas stopped his softly.

"No need and no time. I took the liberty of checking the tickets on the trains out today. I booked one for the 9 o'clock. We only have half an hour if you want me to make it."

Dean had to stop himself from asking him to book the next one out, or maybe the one after that, or the one after that… but instead he just turned around and forced out something about there at least being time for him to pour himself a cup of coffee.

Now, the drink grew cold in his hands, hardly touched. Just as he was about to fumble for something else to talk about, Cas- turning his head slightly, spoke.

"It's curious."

Not daring to interrupt him, Dean settled to just looking at him; doing his best to catalog every sound and movement he made, less he forget to soon.

"This will be the first time I've been able to say goodbye."

Freezing, Dean did his best to keep his expression smooth- not wanting to give anything away. He stopped breathing, waiting with a trepidation for the following words.

"In all the time we've known each other, every time we separated it had either been out of control or we've parted on… well, unfriendly terms. This time we're actually able to say goodbye."

He lost some of his iron control at Cas' words. He felt some of the pain, loss, and regret spill into his eyes and planes of his face. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. Dean fumbled for something to say. He needed Cas to understand. Know that this wasn't goodbye. That it wasn't his fault. He felt sick to his stomach, kicking out his only friend in his most vulnerable and defeated moment. He felt like laughing- deep dark and humorlessly. He wanted to punch a wall, to punch himself. To do something. He wanted to reach across the tense wall between him and Cas and just hug him and promise that he wasn't going to leave him. That for once, he would be the one watching over. That he would be the one protecting.

"Cas that's not. This isn't goodbye. This is just a pit stop, ya? Once we sort out this whole rogue reaper/angel mess we can all meet up and chug Viagra and braid hair. We can still keep in contact- my numbers programmed into your phone."

The words were inadequate. They didn't get out anything he wanted to say. Half of it he knew Cas wouldn't even understand.

Cas nodded in understanding, though Dean knew he didn't. Something in his chest twisted harshly, knowing that Cas thought this was his fault. What made it hurt even worse was that he knew he couldn't say anything to let him know otherwise. He was stuck. And it hurt.

Not knowing what else to say, Dean jerkily nodded as well, a pained smile on his face. "Good."

When the bus came, Cas stood up resolutely, shouldering his bag. Dean got up to follow him, and together they walked to the bus.

"This isn't goodbye." Dean told him.

You're sure doing a good job of making it look like one

"I'll see you later."

I have to

Dean tightened his jaw and looked Cas in the eye, daring him to think different, trying to force him to understand.

With a tired half-smile, Cas took a deep breath. "I'll look forward to it."

Without giving either of them a chance to say anything else, Cas turned around and boarded the bus. Dean could see his figure through the windows, working his way towards the back.

"You boarding to, son?"

Looking back to the front, Dean saw the middle age man looking at him, holding the lever to close the door.

"Oh, no man. I uh- I can't."

"Humph. Seems like you're letting a good one go. Well, if you change your mind and decide to join your boyfriend, another bus pulls in in around an hour. Seems like you have a choice to make."

Before Dean could even be bothered to let him know that Cas was not his boyfriend, the door closed in front of him. Backing up, Dean watched as the train pulled out into the street. He tried to catch a glimpse at Cas, to see him one last time. He looked through the passing windows to finally see a shot of dark hair firmly facing the opposite window. Away from Dean.

He was going to make this right- no matter how long it took.

Because Cas was worth it.

Ok so maybe I cheated with saying Dean is back...

So get ready for time stamps people!

Super important question that I NEED you guys to answer: What are some key dates that you guys want me to write from Dean's perspective?

~Magnolia