"It's Jim"
Chapter 10
Disclaimer: see chapter 1
Both men hesitated at the pulled curtain, unsure, it had been hard enough to find Jim broken and bloody at the base of that ridge. The nurse's quiet voice interrupted their thoughts, "He's doing as well as can be expected." Caleb gave a small smile at her attempt to reassure them, but glancing at his brother beside him he knew Dean was just barely holding it together and wasn't sure if it was such a good idea for them to be the first ones to come back.
"Deuce?" Caleb placed his hand on his friend's shoulder, whose tear-filled eyes glanced at him, nodding subtlety the two men walked through the curtain.
The steady beep of the heart monitor was the initial noise they heard upon entering the cubicle that Jim was in, next the mechanical whoosh of the ventilator. "Jim…" Dean's strangled voice whispered, as Caleb looked at the younger man, noticing the paleness that had overtaken his face.
"Hey?" Caleb touched his friend's arm.
"I'm good…" Dean lied knowing Caleb could tell it for what it was.
Looking back at the Pastor's still form, Caleb took a few steps forward, needing to at least touch the older man. He needed to get a deeper reading that he could only get with physical contact, he knew Jim was still alive, but he needed to know if Jim was still there. Caleb was hardwired for guilt when he couldn't stop his visions from happening, especially when it was a vision of someone he was close to, someone he cared about. So as he laid a gentle hand on Jim's forearm, he silently prayed, thankful he could pick up a faint presence of the older man, though it wasn't nearly as strong as normal. Caleb took a shaky breath, "I'm sorry Jim, I should have gotten there sooner." He whispered out as he felt a tear slip from his eyes. Caleb felt a special connection to the Pastor, it was Jim and Mac that had found him all those years ago, they had saved him in more ways than one and now the young man felt he had somehow let the older man down.
Dean stood in the same spot he had stopped, watching Caleb step forward. To Dean, Jim was his safe haven, he was the person the young man could talk to about everything, next to Caleb, Jim was probably the only person who knew the real Dean that hide behind the smart ass comments and the false bravado. That could still see the little boy in the man's body who was terrified of loosing those around him. Jim had always made him feel that he was important, when his own father saw him as a soldier, Jim saw the boy beneath. It was Jim who weathered the wrath of John Winchester when he took Dean back to the farm those months ago to recover. And now it was that Jim that lay unconscious, battered and broken on the bed before him, it was just too much for the young man to handle as he turned and walked out of the room.
"Deuce?" Caleb turned as he heard the younger man leave; he was torn between needing to keep his connection with Jim and needing to comfort his brother. Caleb gently squeezed the older man's arm, "I'll take care of him, but you better get back here soon because we all need you Asotrim."
Caleb stepped out of the room to find Dean sitting on the floor next to the nurse's station, an older woman kneeling next to him holding a cup of water; a few quick steps had him at the young man's side. "Deuce, you okay?" The older hunter looked at the woman beside Dean when he didn't get an answer, "What happened?"
The deep-green eyes of the woman next to them drew Caleb in for a moment as a picture flashed in his mind of a younger version of the lady. "Do I know you?" he asked as he tried to read her, only to be blocked by the image of roses.
The woman smiled a kind smile, reminding him a Jim, as she looked back at a quiet Dean, "He just came out here and slide down the wall and I haven't been able to get him to tell me if he's all right."
Caleb's attention was quickly drawn back to his friend. "Jim means a lot to us, it's hard to see him like that. Dean's been through a lot this year and this just has added a bit more then we seem to be able to handle at the moment." Caleb took Dean's face in his hands, bringing the young hunter's vacant gaze to meet his. "Deuce, man I need you to look at me, no checking out on me right now." Caleb gently tapped Dean on the cheek, finally getting a spark of life as moss-green eyes met his.
"Damien?" Dean blinked, like he had just woken up from a dream or nightmare as the case may be.
"You with me man?" Caleb took the offered water from the woman, getting Dean to drink a little.
Dean pushed the cup away, "It's just seeing him like that…" the younger man took a deep breath, willing his tear-filled eyes to not overflow.
"I know, but hey…" Caleb made sure he had Dean's attention, "he's still there, we have to believe he won't leave us, okay."
"He loves you too much to leave you." The older woman said drawing Dean's attention for the first time as Caleb looked cautiously at her.
"You?" Dean spoke, surprise showing in his face.
"Deuce?" Caleb watched his friend's reaction to the woman; he wasn't sure whether to take her as a threat or a friend.
Her quiet voice spoke again as both boys looked at her, "He's fighting to stay for you boys, he doesn't want to hurt you, he won't give up and I know when he is better you boys will take good care of him and that's a comfort to me. You both know yourself, love is worth fighting for and it is the love he feels for you boys and the love he feels from you boys that he is fighting for right now and that is why he will pull through this." With that she stood and walked through the door marked Lounge. Not until the door closed did it register with Caleb that she was talking as if she knew Jim personally. He quickly stood and pushed the door open, wanting to get her name. However, when he opened the door there were only two younger nurses sitting at a table, taking their break.
"Can we help you sir?" one asked as she stood.
"Did an older woman just come in here?" Caleb asked, looking around the room.
"I'm sorry sir; no one has come in for a few minutes. Is everything all right?" She took a step toward him as he backed out of the room.
"Yes, I'm sorry." He said pulling the door closed.
Dean had gotten himself to his feet as Caleb turned around to help him, "Did you know her Deuce?" The older man reached out to steady Dean, he swayed a little as he took a step.
"I saw her earlier, after Mac arrived, when I went to get coffee. I couldn't get the money in the machine…she talked like she knew Jim, but when I tried to follow her she…she wasn't there." Dean looked at the lounge door then back at Caleb.
"Like now?" Caleb whispered.
"Yeah." Dean replied as they slowly made their way back toward the waiting room.
The two young hunters made there way back toward the waiting room, containing each of their fathers, who had taken up pacing when the ten minute time limit extended into fifteen. It was at the twenty minute mark that the boys came through the doors. The pale complexion of Dean, as well as, Caleb's close proximity to his friend caused the two older men to exchange worried looks as the met the boys half-way.
"Is Jim all right?" Mac asked first as John helped his son to a seat, worried at the minute tremors he felt from the boy.
Reluctantly letting his friend's father guide Dean, Caleb stopped in front of Mac, "Jim's about how the doctor told us, he's hooked to more machines then I ever thought I'd see anyone hooked to, but he is still there Dad." Caleb glanced at Dean as John sat beside him, "Deuce had a tough time seeing Jim like that," Caleb lowered his voice a bit, so John couldn't hear the rest, the dark-haired hunter didn't want to inadvertently give the elder Winchester something to get on Dean's case about. "Dad, I almost lost Dean in there for a minute." At Mac's concerned expression the younger man continued. "He couldn't stay in the room, when I came out he was sitting on the floor next to the nurse's station, 'zoned out'. It scared me a minute, it was almost like I was looking into the face of that scared five-year old we first met. I don't think he did it on purpose, but with all the shit he's been dealing with I just think it was automatic."
Mac nodded his head, agreeing with his son. It took them months when the young man was a child to pull him from his shell he had closed himself into after his mothers death. Mac had seen a few times over the years when something happened that put those close to Dean in jeopardy, the young hunter would withdrawal. However there was something that was worrying the Doctor about his own son, Caleb was being more guarded with his emotions then he had been and that worried Mac, "Caleb I know you're worried about Dean, but how are you doing?"
Caleb shook his head, the emotional roller coaster he had been on lately wasn't doing anything for the headache he was still carrying from the aftereffect of his vision, and exhaustion was his enemy in that regards, but he didn't want his father worrying about him, when Jim was the one they could lose. Other than Dean's little episode, what was puzzling the young hunter even more, was the mysterious woman who seemed to know them and Jim. As of right now it would stay between him and Dean, since they both had encountered her, but if he couldn't unravel that mystery he would mention it to his father later, when they knew Jim was out of the woods, so to speak. "I'm good Dad, just tired. It's just hard to see Jim like that."
Mac pulled his son into a hug, which to the Scholar's surprise his son allowed and returned, lending testament to the emotionally draining experience they had all been through the last day. "I want you two to go back to the hotel and get some rest. Come back in a few hours, we will stay here in shifts, that way we all aren't exhausted." Mac pulled back from his son when he could tell the younger man was going to protest, "Son, both you boys are barely holding it together, right now rest is the best thing, please don't argue with me on this."
Caleb gave his father a small smile as he nodded, "Remember that when me and Deuce show back up later and it's your turn to go." The young hunter walked over to Dean, "Hey Deuce, Mac here is throwing us out, but we get to return the favor in a few hours."
The young man watched his friend rise, surprised he didn't argue to stay, John patted Dean's shoulder as he stood. "Get some rest Son."
The engrained, automatic, "Yes, Sir." was whispered by Dean as he slowly followed his best friend toward the elevators.
A/N: Asotrim is the reference to Jim's dragon name in the stories he use to tell Sam when he was a small child. The story of the dragons can be found in Ridley's story: In the Company of Dragons.