Kira: Back again! With chapter… 9 of Ask The Seireitei! Yay!
Yachiru: Yeah! And Henjin-taichou's here too!
Uryuu: -glares-
-video screen crackles-
Disembodied voice: Testing, testing, one, two, three…
-Mayuri pops up on screen-
Yachiru: Alright! It works!
Kira: Good! However, the Gotei 13 aren't here yet… Kisuke?
Kisuke: -grins- Sure! –Senkaimon opens and he steps in. Senkaimon closes-
Kira: -checks watch- Hurry up…
-Senkaimon opens again, guests from Seireitei step out-
Kira: Did Yamamoto-soutaichou let Gin-kun come?
Gin: Yup!
Yachiru: Yeah! Let's get to the reviews!
From: twilightlvr5:
Rukia-Do you like Ichigo? and be truthful.
Rukia: -blushes- N-no way!
Kisuke: Aw, admit it already…
Ichigo: -puts hand on Zangetsu's hilt-
Uryuu: -sigh- You never change, do you, Kurosaki?
Byakuya-Do you think Hisana will every be rincarnated?
Byakuya: She has. I've met her reincarnation.
Rukia: You… you mean onee-sama is alive?
Kira: Hmmm, maybe I should bring her here…
This is an awesome fic by the way
Kira: Arigatou! Continue reviewing!
From Arrancar-Baka:
'Ello! I really love this Fic. It's highly amusing. 'Nyways..I have a couple
of questions
Ichimaru-senpai: What do you think about this?: 'Tite Kubo remarked in a 2004
Shonen Jump character commentary that Gin's popularity, especially among
women, was a great surprise to him, as he had attempted to make Gin creepy and
offputting in appearance.' -Wikipedia XD (You are my fav!)
Gin: I dunno… I don't try ta attract women, but they like the smile, don'cha think?
Hitsugaya-taichou: When I talk to my friends, I sometimes have to refer to
you as 'Shorty' or 'Shiro-chan' just so they know who I'm talking
about...would you like me to smack some sense into them? :3
Hitsugaya: -vein twitches- Please do…
Ichigo: It's cold. -shivers-
Everyone: Do you guys celebrate andy specific holidays? Like Christmas or St.
Patricks day? (Just wonderin' since St. Patty's day is comin up)
Ukitake: Not really, but we may start celebrating Aizen's death anniversary.
I guess I'm done! Thanks for writing this Kira-san! I am no longer dying of
absolute boredom.
Kira: -bows- Hai! Arigatou gozaimasu! And control your temper, Shirou-kun, it's freezing.
Hitsugaya: -vein twitches further-
From twilightlvr5 (second set):
Hitsugaya Taicho-It seems that momo will love aizen forever so will you go
for someone else say... a certain Karin Kurosaki? She already knows your a
shinigami and all and she likes you.
Ichigo: Wait, my sister likes this shorty here?
Hitsugaya: -teeth clenched- Kurosaki…
Yachiru: Answer the question, Shirou-chan!
Hitsugaya: I… don't like Karin.
Kyouraku Taicho-Has Nano ever once returned your feelings?
Shunsui: Nah, but I know she likes me at heart!
Nanao: -pops up on video screen- What was that, taichou…?
Shunsui: No-nothing!
From l1nk1n-p4rk-4-3v3r:
lol hilarius!
questions:
1: Hitsugaya Taicho, why don't you like ncknames? or candy?
Hitsugaya: Because nicknames are annoying. And I don't dislike candy, I dislike too much candy.
Kira: But Shirou-kun sounds cute! And are you sure you just don't want to appear childish…?
Yachiru: Ne, Shirou-chan, can I have your unwanted candy?
Kira: -holds out paper bag-
2:Hitsugaya Taicho, I dare you to kiss Hinamori Fukutaicho for 5 minutes! and
if you forfeit... you have to let people call you whatever they want for the
next 2 chapters plus the rest of this one.
Hitsugaya: -blush- WHAT?
Kira: You read the question, Shirou-kun!
Momo: -also blushing- But… but… Aizen-taichou… -starts sniffling-
Hitsugaya: Mo… Momo… -goes closer- Uh…
Momo: -looks up- Shirou-chan?
Hitsugaya: -looks away in frustration- I can't do this!
Kisuke: Then you forfeit, don't you?
Hitsugaya: … Yes…
3: Hitsugaya Taicho, how did it feel to kiss your crush? and if you
forfeited, what do you really not want to be called?
Hitsugaya: I'd rather not be called anything. But since you asked… -glares- Just don't call me shorty.
Yachiru: Shorty-chan!
Hitsugaya: -hands shivering- Must… resist…
4: Zaraki Taicho, my bro says im crazy for this but... if i insulted your
fighting skills, would you fight me? If yes, you're a wuss! Lol
Kenpachi: Of course! Want to come here and have a match? -starts releasing reiatsu-
Ichigo: H-hey! I'll fight you, but don't start threatening innocents!
Kira: I have already spent more than 20,000 yen repairing this stage, and I don't want it damaged further. -glares and Ichigo and Zaraki-
Ichigo: H-hai… -puts Zangetsu away-
Zaraki: Che. Hurry up then.
From ReadR:
Yachiru: would you like to have a boyfriend?
Yachiru: Ummm…. I think Ken-chan would mind if I did, right?
Ikkaku and Yumichika : What's relationship between you two? (My friend made
yaoi about you 2?)
Kira: I don't remember adding those two as guests… Never mind! -turns to face screen- Ikkaku-san! Yumichika-san!
Ikkaku and Yumichika: -appear onscreen- Yeah?
Kira: -shoves question at them-
Ikkaku and Yumichika: -read question, then look at each other-
Ikkaku: We're just friends!
Yumichika: Yeah, yaoi isn't beautiful! It's…
-screen starts displaying static-
Yumichika: …. Ganjuu! What ar…
-static fizzes-
Ikkaku: Is there…
-screen blanks out-
Kira: -whacks screen- It's supposed to be the latest model!
-nothing happens-
Kira: Argh…
Kisuke: I'll be taking this for repairs after the chapter.
Hitsugaya-taichou: Is it true you're only about 133cm?? Man..I'm glad to
found there's someone else shorter than me...
Hitsugaya: What… did… you… say?
(Runs)
Kira: Hey, it's fine. He forfeited, ne, Shorty-kun?
Hitsugaya: -glares-
Kira: Control your temper, Shirou-kun!
Hitsugaya: Urgh… must resist…
From lolita-ishida:
I AM ISHIDA'S DISTANT COUSIN XD
Uryuu: I have cousins? Are you a Quincy too?
I dare all the girls to sing Love story by tailor swsift
Kira: -blinks-
Rukia: What's that?
Ichigo: It's a song.
Momo: A song?
Kira: Never mind…
From Plumalchemyst:
Kira: This review is long…
Orihime: FACE IT ICHIGO LOVES RUKIA EVEN IF HE SAYS HE DOESN'T
Ichigo: I-I do not!
Kira: See, you're just confirming the review…
Ichigo: -glares at Kira- Oi!
Orihime: -looks away- I- I just want Kurosaki-kun to- to be happy…
Rukia: YOU LIE YOU LOVE HIM
Rukia: I do not!
Kira: Oh really…? –grins at Kisuke-
Kisuke: -grins back- I know, I know!
Rukia: What are you planning…?
Ichigo Renji and Uryuu: OMG THAT WAS PRICELESS THOSE PICS WERE WORTH THE 3 MILLION YEN I SPENT XD
Kira: 3 million yen? Were they hand drawn by Kubo-sensei?
Ichigo: Destroy. Those. Now.
Yachiru: I have copies, Ichi-chan! –waves pictures-
Renji: This had better not spread.
Yachiru: But it'll be fun!
Renji: -glare- Next.
Kisuke: can I get help the soul candy I used ran off with my body and is firing arrows at everything
Kisuke: Hmmm, this is unusual. Most likely you got a defective soul candy –
Ichigo: So THAT'S where Kon went!
Everyone else: Huh?
Rukia: Kon went missing a few days ago, and we never found him.
Kisuke: If that's the case, then… excuse me… -creates Senkaimon and goes through it-
Kira: Look like he went back to Urahara Shouten. You'll be getting your body back soon!
Uryuu: Of course just go to there are quincy everywhere mostly girls
Uryuu: Really? –pushes up glasses-
Kira: But you still prefer to be with Orihime, don't you…?
Uryuu: -blush- No!
Ryuuken: Uryuu, there are still a few Quincy families remaining. They have just been hiding from the Gotei 13.
Kira: Uh-huh! Like the Akashiya clan! –glances at surrounding shinigami- Oops, did I just say that aloud?
Ukitake: Don't worry, we'll pretend we never heard.
Kira; He's dead dang I wanted to stab him with Oni Shoujo (yes her name is oni shoujo and she looks like a female demon)
Kira: Interesting… Can I have a match with you someday? I'm sure Kageijin will love it.
Yachiru: Kageijin is Kira-chan's zanpakutou!
Uryuu: -pushes up glasses- Wasn't it Tsumetai Kage?
Kira: You know Fuji Kujaku? Yumichika-san's zanpakutou? Kageijin's like that too!
Gin: When ever you get this message don't play can you feel the sunshine or the tails doll will get you XD
Gin: Nah, I don't do that!
Mayuri: Come near me and I'll cut you (assuming he knows I am a shinigami/Quincy hybrid)
Mayuri: -pops up on screen- Now I do. And you don't stand a chance against me.
Uryuu: Then I'll join in.
Kenpachi: Against Kurotsuchi? I'm on.
Kenpachi: I'll fight you I love a good fight (has Oni Shoujo raised)
Zaraki: Sure! –raises his zanpakutou-
Kira: -pulls out sword-
Zaraki: -lowers zanpakutou reluctantly- Fine…
Whitey chan: Do you know Ed from FMA you are both short XD
Kira: You have the same seiyuu too!
Hitsugaya: Yeah, we're friends. And don't… call me… short…! Ban–
Yachiru: Remember the forfeit, Shirou-chan?
Hitsugaya: -grumble- I'm leaving! -walks offstage-
Momo: why do you still love Aizen he frecking stabbed you
Momo: Because… because he's Aizen-taichou… -starts crying-
Kira: -headpalm- Not again… Shirou-kun's backstage! -pushes Momo offstage-
Karin Yuzu: Whats it like being little sisters to a shinigami
Kira: Unfortunately, they're not here.
Ichigo: I'm not letting you bring them here either!
Kira: Relax, I won't.
Ichigo's dad: STOP ATTACKING ICHIGO DAMN IT I WANT TO CUT YOU EVERY TIME YOU DO
Isshin: But I'm training him in Hakuda! Like thi—
Ichigo: -blocks Isshin's flying kick- Yeah, yeah.
Isshin: -pinned under Ichigo's foot- I taught… you well, Ichigo…
Uryuu's dad: YOUR SO COLD WISE MEN WONDER WHILE STRONG MEN DIE TELL ME HOW TO END THIS ALL RIGHT NOW
Ryuuken: Huh?
Kira: Um, I can't quite make sense of that statement either.
Yachiru: Don't like tag do like red rover as it allows me to hurt people while wramming them (drops candy)
Yachiru: Ooh! Candy! -starts eating it- And you're still It!
Byakuya: I was joking she may be legal but she never marry anyone if the bride or groom could be killed
Byakuya: So my sister isn't married to Kurosaki after all?
Ichigo: Hell, no!
Rukia: I apologise for causing you distress, Nii-sama…
Renji: My cousin Rena wants to marry you XD (lets cousin loose on Renji)
Renji: Argh! -bats Rena away-
Rena: Renji-kun! -glomps-
Renji: Get off me – Argh –
Kira: -shoves both people offstage- You can go see the one who married Rukia and Ichigo!
-Senbonzakura flies at Kira-
Kira: Heh. -holds out hand-
-Senbonzakura is deflected-
Everyone else: O.o
Zaraki: Che, come see if that affects me—
Kira: -glares-
Zaraki: … maybe later.
all shinigami: Hey come on my sister threaten death by beating from a dead beaver I never ask that otherwise
Ichigo: Whatever…
Rukia: It was amusing though.
Ulqui chan: Do you really like Orihime
Ulquiorra: … No.
Grimmjow: YOUR MY FAVORITE AND AM GLAD YOU KILLED THAT DRAG QUEEN LUPI ONCE YOU HAD YOUR ARM BACK ** BASTARD LOOK LIKE A GIRL
Kira: Erm, I think Grimmjow was in Las Noches when it collapsed.
Neil nee chan: did you escape from Las Noches I hope so or I be sad
Kira: Nel…? I… don't know…
Ichigo: Yeah, she came out with us. -jerks thumb at backstage-
-Nel jumps onstage-
Nel: Itsugo! You won! -hugs Ichigo-
and thats it bye (vanishes)
Kira: Say hi to Oni Shoujo from Kageijin!
From Satoshistar7:
To Ryuken: You have proven me wrong. You are not a heartless coward. That is why I will test your endurance to my akward dares furthur. I dare you and Uryuu (sorry Uryu) to get together and wear in shinigami robes and visit Ichigo and his dad. You are both to ask them to teach you how to kill hollows shinigami style. When they ask why you have to say that the shinigami are better than you quincies. (And no you cannot use your prides as a quincy to get out of this, though I do like quincies better. Truly I like the quincies better, but I just wanna torment Ryuken for neglecting his son all that time so I figure it be a little bonding time with father and son.)
Kira: This sounds interesting…
Uryuu: -glares at Satoshistar7-
Ryuuken: Kira-san, I will be leaving this fic after this chapter.
Yachiru: That's mean, Ryuu-chan!
Ryuuken: …
Kira: Come on! Do the dare!
Kisuke: -holds out shinigami robes-
Yachiru: -starts swinging from rope, holds camera-
Ryuuken: No.
Kira: Aw, come on…
Uryuu: No way!
Kira: But—
Uryuu: -Quincy Death Glare-
Kira: Ha-hai…
To Byakuya: I assure you I am straight, but that does not mean I do mind a little... creativity. I dare you to dress in drag (holds up a gorgeous pink kimono with white sakura blossoms and a lip stick tube towards him)and do a romantic waltz with Kisuke Urahara. Also say to ichigo that you will be happy to be his sister in law after he marries your sister Rukia.
To Urahara: you have to dress as a proper tango dancer( holds up a dark green silk shirt with a pair of black trousures to match his eyes.
Byakuya: …
Renji: You're going to crossdress, taichou?!
Byakuya: Renji…
Kira: It's a dare, Byakuya!
Byakuya: -snatches kimono and goes offstage to change-
A few minutes later…
-Byakuya emerges onstage-
Everyone else: O.o
Kira: Oook. Now…
Ichigo: I think Urahara's still looking for Kon.
Kira: -sigh- Ichigo, go get him. -opens Senkaimon-
Ichigo: -glares and enters Senkaimon-
Five minutes later…
Kira: Did he get lost?
Rukia: … you didn't give him a hell butterfly, did you?
Kira: … Oh…
-Kisuke comes out of Senkaimon, followed by a very annoyed and battered Ichigo-
Kisuke: -already dressed as dancer- Here we are!
Ichigo: -glares- Next time please remember the hell butterfly.
Kira: Come on, the dare!
Byakuya: …
Kisuke: Sure, Byakuya-san!
-Byakuya and Kisuke dance-
Byakuya: Now, I am going to get this off.
[click]
Yachiru: -holds up camera- Gotcha, Bya-kun!
Kira: And the dare isn't over! You can pick to either complete the dare or forfeit, which means keeping the kimono on for the next three chapters!
Byakuya: -glares- I still pick to forfeit.
Yachiru: Bya-kun… that's no fun!
To Orihime: Please for the love of god, give Uryu a chance and go on a proper date with him. Go to a movie, resteraunt I don't care which and get to know each other. I will leave the decision up to you both if you want to end your evening with a kiss. Give Uryuu a chance by getting to know him ok? He really is a good guy. :)
Orihime: Can I do it after the chapter?
Kira: Sure! We'll just show footage of it next time.
To Everyone else: Enjoy the show of these dares.
Rukia: -laughing helplessly- We did… -glance at Byakuya- I mean...
( Hides in another secure location where neither quincy nor shinigami can
find and extract vengance on her.)
Uryuu: I will hunt you down someday.
Kira: And that concludes chapter 9! As usual, there are announcements—
Yachiru: Yay! Next chapter is the fight round!
Kira: Uh-huh. For next chapter, we'll be doing character vs character matches. Any characters allowed! You can even enter yourself!
Yachiru: I wanna see Ken-chan fight Ichi-chan again!
Ichigo: -sidles slowly away-
Kira: Oh no, you don't! Bakudou no ichi, Sai!
Ichigo: Crap…
Yachiru: Bya-kun, you'll have to fight in a kimono too!
Byakuya: …
Kira: Our video screen will be undergoing repair by Kisuke, so for the next few chapters, we will be inviting the entire Bleach cast over! -glances around- I guess we'll have to switch locations then…
Yachiru: Yeah! Sayonara, minna!
A/N: Wow. Seven reviews in one day. And I thought no one was going to read the previous chapter, after the long hiatus. This is one of the most fun things I have written in a long time. I'd forgotten how much laughter came out of it… On a side note, can anyone here draw fanart? I just realised that some of the dares make for really good pictures… (imagines Byakuya in printed kimono)