Good Morning all! I don't really have a lot to say up here - just thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed and put this story on their alerts and favorites.
I'll have more at the bottom.
Now, go on! Read!
Fear and Loathing
Back then.
For the second time in two days, Edward woke to find himself in the warm entanglement of a girl whose life he was trying to save. And for the second time in two days, it made him feel better than he had in years. He didn't want to open his eyes. If he did that, he would have to face the reality of everything he'd done. If he opened his eyes and faced what he'd done, he was afraid he wouldn't come out on the other side at all.
Fingertips touched his cheek and his nose and then his lips, and against his better judgement, Edward peeled his eyes back slowly. Lucy was still there, touching his skin despite her own eyes downcast. It didn't matter that she couldn't see him. He didn't need her to anymore. Memories of Elizabeth continued to make themselves known at the forefront of his thoughts, and Edward knew the only thing he could do to make all this right was to go home.
It was the last place he wanted to be after all of this, but it was the only place in the world he knew Liam wouldn't be able to follow him — not without pooling an embarrassing amount of resources to keep his identity and involvement in the order he would put on Edward's father as invisible as possible. Terror and worry were the only emotions abundant in Edward's body, but he had to figure out how to make it seem like something else.
But what?
"You have a scar on your nose," Lucy whispered. "How did you get it?"
Edward smiled at the memory as it bubbled to the surface. "I was fifteen. Learning how to skateboard. Jasper tried to talk me out of it, and my father told me I would get hurt, which meant I had to do it because he said not to. One of my neighbors, Randall had a new skateboard, and he let me borrow it. I got about three blocks before I hit an uneven part of the concrete and flew face-first into the pavement. There was blood everywhere. My father almost fainted. So did Esme. I had to get six stitches."
A smile spread across her face. "Did anyone else know that?"
He shook his head. "No. I told everyone at school that I got into a fight. It was technically true. The sidewalk tripped me."
Lucy laughed, and Edward lifted his fingers to her cheek. He would've never done this to any other girl he'd been in bed with, but this time was different. He was sure of it. The skin of her cheek was slightly swollen and red. Edward realized too late that it was bruised.
"I know you don't want me to say it," he whispered. "But I'm so s— "
Her fingers stopped him before the whole word could leave his mouth. "Don't. Please. I'm not a fragile little girl. And even if no one could've known this was going to happen, it's no one's fault but hers. If you were supposed to be a part of this, she wouldn't have hurt you. But she did."
"But I could've — "
"I told you I could handle it," she cried, holding his face in her hands. "I meant it. Please don't diminish that because I can't see. Don't make it less than what it was because she chose me. You chose me, Edward. You saw me, and for the smallest moment, you made me feel normal. Not even my brother ever did that. He always felt the need to take care of me, and he never really let me prove I could take care of myself. I helped you fight her, Edward. Please don't take that away from me."
"But I was inside you. And I hurt you. I know I did. I had no right to do that."
"And you're alive to grovel over it," she reminded him. "You're alive to fix it. If you hadn't at least made her think you were going to, she would've shot you, or me, or both of us. And it . . . wasn't that bad."
Hearing her say that made him feel even worse than watching the look on her face when she'd told him to do what Bella was ordering him to do.
A knock on the door interrupted their quiet talk, and after a minute, the door opened to allow Siobhan into the room with a tray in her arms.
"Breakfast," she announced. "I thought about making a traditional Irish breakfast for the two of you Americans, but I figured we would skip the culture lessons for this morning. And besides, you need to get on the road."
Edward sat up slowly, helping Lucy as Siobhan set the tray on the bed. "Is everything ready?" he asked.
"Yes," she replied softly. "I have a car ready in the garage. Gianna has packed the two of you clothes and money. You'll eat and then get changed."
Though he was hungry and hadn't eaten since the day before at breakfast, Edward still couldn't eat any of the eggs or toast from the plate presented to him. He lifted his eyes to Siobhan as she helped Lucy, and she looked at him without saying anything.
"Aren't you going to eat?" Lucy asked.
How did she even knew he wasn't touching his food? Thinking about Elizabeth, he remembered that after losing her sight, she'd still been able to tell when he wasn't feeling well.
"I'm not hungry," he lied. "But you should eat. I'll be back."
He scooted off the bed and stepped into the attached bathroom without saying anything else to either of them.
Once alone in the bathroom, Edward debated taking a shower. Would it matter? Did it really make a difference if he was clean-shaven and well-rested when he made it home to lie to his father about what he'd done?
In the end, he decided a shower was something he needed if he was going to make it out of this house — and out of Las Vegas. If Siobhan said everything was ready, then it meant she knew what she was going to do about Liam. Edward didn't want to be in town when she started whatever it was she'd decided.
His head still hurt from being slammed into a wall. His nose and mouth were sore from being punched, but his cuts weren't hurting anymore. The bite mark on his neck was still noticeable, but Edward couldn't do anything about that now. Maybe in a few days, it would go away despite the fact that Bella had actually drawn blood from him.
A knock on the door at the end of his shower halted Edward in his thoughts, and he quickly pulled on a towel to answer the door. Siobhan was there with clothes, and against his better judgement, he opened the door to let her in.
"You look like hell," she observed, directing him further into the room and shutting the door.
"Thanks."
They hadn't been alone like this in six months, and even then, her husband had walked in on them before anything major could happen. Now that so much had gone wrong, Edward didn't really need this to happen — because she wasn't his mother or even his aunt. And even though she'd had an affair with his father, it didn't change the fact that she barely looked a day over thirty-five.
"You and Carlisle always did know how to have a hand over the ladies," she commented, laying his clothes over the counter. "Despite everything you told me, that girl out there is damn near ready to do anything you ask her. Normally, I'd say she's probably lost her mind. But it's you. So I get it."
She stepped closer to Edward, looking over his bare chest and then his face. A cold chill in the air caused him to shiver, and he closed his eyes as she lifted her hand to his cheek.
"Siobhan, please. I can't — "
"Relax, will you? I'm just noticing. And I'm just trying to tell you that you're more like him than you believe. It's not such a bad thing, you know. He's a good man, even when he does things that aren't so good. And so are you. Keep telling yourself that after you leave here. And I'll be in touch once I've got control of Liam."
Easing the pad of her thumb over his lips, she leaned in to him until her nose touched his, and she kissed him for the first time in six months. But this kiss was different — chaste and filled with much more sadness than any kiss he'd ever had. Edward knew this kiss was goodbye — for now at least.
"I'll leave you to it then," she said, stepping back and then backing out of the bathroom slowly.
When Edward came out of the bathroom dressed and ready to go, Lucy and Gianna were waiting. He had decided to forgo shaving, and his stomach was still gurgling from being nearly empty. But he was as ready as he was going to get. Gianna picked up the two bags Siobhan had packed for them, and she gave Edward a thick envelope before she stepped out of the room silently.
Edward stepped in front of Lucy, waiting until she reached for his hand to speak. "Are you going to be okay?"
"I think so," she nodded. "Why didn't you eat before? I know you're hungry. I don't understand why you would want to punish yourself like that."
What was he supposed to say?
No matter what she believed, Edward knew he was responsible for everything that had happened from the moment he met Bella and suggested coming to Las Vegas and then played poker with Liam. If he hadn't played poker with Liam and gone to dinner with him, Edward wouldn't have felt the need to go outside their private room for air. If he hadn't gone outside for air, he wouldn't have met Lucy, and if he hadn't met Lucy, Edward was sure he would've walked away from Bella — even if she'd been threatening to hurt someone.
"I'll be fine," he promised Lucy. "We just need to get you away from here."
"How long will it take?"
Without thinking, Edward knew exactly how long a drive to Chicago would take. "A couple of days," he informed her. Then he added, "at least."
She didn't argue with him, following him out of the room with her head down.
Siobhan was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when Edward came down with Lucy, and she waited until they were in front of her to speak.
"Are you ready now?" she inquired with raised eyebrows.
He glanced at Lucy and then nodded silently.
A small smile began to form over Siobhan's face but faded almost instantly. "Come along then."
She led them both to the garage where Gianna and Alec were both packing bags into the trunk of a jet black Mercedes-Benz CLS63 AMG as it set ready to be driven. Edward knew the car well since his father had one just like it. Siobhan said nothing as she guided Lucy to the passenger side of the car to help her in. He watched her the whole time until she was in front of him as she'd been in the bathroom.
"Try not to break to sound barrier," she grinned.
He couldn't help but smile sheepishly, and she touched his face after a minute.
"Even if you have to say some awful things to your dad," she said gently, "don't forget that he loves you. The first time I met you when you were sixteen, he was doing everything he could to make sure you survived. He's going to do that now. Are you sure you can watch him do that without telling him the truth?"
"I have to," he resolved, "until I know he's not in Liam's path of destruction again."
She nodded, glancing at Alec and Gianna. "Right. I'll call you."
With little else, she opened the driver's side door so he could slide in, and after she closed the door, she leaned in to say one last thing.
"Be careful. Don't use any of your credit cards, and keep the speed below 60 unless you're on the interstate."
Edward nodded. "Thank you."
She didn't speak again, standing up straight and stepping back as the garage door opened. Brilliant orange light from the early morning hours filled the garage slowly. Edward didn't look back at Siobhan, pulling his seatbelt on and helping Lucy with hers before he turned the car on and left within a few minutes of entering the garage.
The terrain was slightly unfamiliar to Edward even though he'd been driving in from the opposite direction with Bella. He'd taken a completely different path that day, and it had led to the worst two days of his life. The path he would be taking home had to be different, or nothing that came afterward would be worth it.
An early morning news broadcast filled the space of the car as Edward drove farther from the mountains to flatter terrain, reporting weather and traffic as the two radio personalities joked with each other about increasing crime in the city and what the police there were going to do about it. The entire notion embittered Edward as he now drove himself and a girl he'd been forced to violate at gunpoint from the bowels of a city he knew he would be seeing again very soon for a completely different reason.
"I'm all alone," Lucy said suddenly.
A few seconds passed silently, and experimentally, Edward reached for her hand. "No, you're not."
The soft laugh that followed gave Edward the impression that she didn't believe him. After that, he didn't say anything else. He just drove.
Three hours passed uneventfully as Edward crossed the Nevada/New Mexico border, and less than an hour later, he drove through the New Mexico/Utah border to the unfamiliar sounds of a song he'd never heard before. Lucy hadn't asked, simply lifting her hand to the radio to change the station as it began to crackle with static annoyingly. She bypassed gospel, R&B, classic rock and an oldies station in favor of what Edward could only describe as Traditional Country. The nasally voice singing grated at his nerves, but he did nothing to stop her or change the station to one he was familiar with.
"My brother hates country," she said suddenly. "He's always changing the station if I try to make him listen to it."
Edward glanced at her, seeing tears in her eyes, and he wanted to do anything he could to ease the pain she was obviously feeling.
"I made him watch Pure Country once. He said it was the most torturous experience he'd ever gone through."
The tears in hers eyes slipped down her cheeks as she sat back in the seat and folded her arms over her chest. She turned her head away so Edward wouldn't see as she began crying softly. He wanted to hold her so she'd know he was there for her. But he didn't stop driving. He knew it wouldn't be safe until they were a lot farther away, and while he couldn't stand seeing her cry over something that was completely his fault, Edward forced himself to endure it until they had to stop to get something to eat.
A little town five miles from a local airport nearly eighty miles from the Utah border seemed like a place good enough to stop for breakfast, and a tiny diner welcomed them with few patrons and a slender, brunette waitress behind the counter carrying plates to what few customers she had. The moment she saw Edward and Lucy, she smiled.
"Mornin'," she greeted.
He smiled back slightly, helping Lucy onto a stool as he sat beside her. "Good morning."
She handed them menus and pulled out her order pad. "Get cha anything to drink?"
"Uh, coffee, black, for me," he requested.
"Orange juice, please," Lucy smiled.
The waitress eyed Lucy strangely, but she said nothing stepping away from them to get their drinks.
Edward looked over the menu, not seeing anything appetizing, but he hadn't eaten in over a day. He had to eat something if he was going to be driving all day. It wasn't like he could hand over the car to Lucy.
"You don't have to get anything if you're not hungry," he said softly. "But I have to eat something since I'm driving."
"I think you're forgetting one minor thing."
He looked at her. "What?"
She turned her head in his direction, holding up her menu. "I can't read this," she reminded him.
He sighed heavily. "Shit, I'm sorry. Are you still hungry? I know you ate before we left."
Lucy smiled, down putting her menu. "Actually, I have to go the ladies' room. Miss?" she called to the waitress. "Where's the restroom?"
"All the way back and to the left, sweetie."
Lucy stood up, and Edward followed her.
"I'll help you," he said, but she stopped him.
"I can go to the bathroom by myself. I'm sure she wouldn't direct me to the men's room. Eat. I'll be okay. Eggs and bacon are fine."
She pushed him back into the counter, stepping around him and slowly making her way toward the back of the diner. Edward watched her intently, making sure she got to her destination and even after she disappeared.
"Is your girlfriend okay?" the waitress asked setting his coffee and Lucy's orange juice on the counter in front of him.
He didn't correct her, instead pretending that everything was fine. "Yes," he answered. "She's fine. Thank you."
"So, what can I get ya this morning?"
Edward looked over the menu a second time, choosing two platters of the same thing for him and Lucy. She smiled at him as she wrote down his order and disappeared into the kitchen.
Lucy returned after nearly ten minutes, and by then, their food was coming from the hutch between the diner and the kitchen.
"Order up!" the cook yelled.
Their waitress smirked, lifting their plates from the metal counter and then laying them in front of Edward and Lucy.
"Let me know if you need anything else," she insisted.
Edward smiled again. "Thank you."
No words were exchanged as Edward and Lucy ate, and only a few more people entered the diner. No one else sat at the counter, and Edward preferred it that way. The less people who saw them and remembered them, the better.
After the brief stop to eat, Edward paid for their food and helped Lucy to the car, and he got back on the interstate with little happening between the diner and the road. Lucy curled up into her seat and turned her head to the window despite not being able to see outside. She never asked where they were or how long they would be there. Edward thought she might be curious about her surroundings enough to wonder what was going on, but she never said anything.
He wasn't foolish enough to think she was beginning to trust him. After everything he'd done, there was no way she would ever trust him despite the small things she's allowed him to do in the several hours since they'd both been through the most horrible experience of their lives.
Twice more they stopped — once at noon to get lunch and then again to get gas — before they arrived in Denver just as the sun was setting. Though Edward wanted to keep going, he knew Siobhan needed more than just a day to get a foothold over Liam. So that meant he had to stop at night and wait until the next morning to get back on the road.
"Is this part of the plan?" Lucy asked as he drove around to find a small, moderately furnished hotel that wouldn't cause too much of an expense.
"Yes," he said simply.
Though it wasn't what he was accustomed to, Edward found a modest hotel not far from the center of the city. Money was no expense at the moment. They were inside and being waited on when Edward's phone rang from his jacket pocket. The moment he saw Charlie Swan's name flash across the little screen, his pulse increased by a hundred.
He didn't answer the first call, checking him and Lucy into the hotel and getting up to their room before his phone rang again.
"Are you gonna answer that?" Lucy asked from her spot on the lone sofa in the room.
It was Charlie Swan again.
Edward got as far from Lucy as he could, answering his phone more reluctantly than he ever had.
"Mr. Swan."
"Where's my daughter, Cullen?" the man demanded, his voice deep and gruff. "I know she was with you a couple of days ago."
Despite knowing where Bella was for the most part, Edward didn't tell Charlie, opting to lie as easily as he could. "I don't know where Bella is, Mr. Swan. I haven't seen her since yesterday."
"Are you lying to me?"
"Of course not," Edward insisted, pressing his hand into the side of his chest where one of his cuts began to itch.
"You better not be," Charlie warned. "I don't know exactly what my daughter sees in you, but if I find out you lied about knowing where she is, let's just say you won't like what I do to you."
Edward mustered as much anger as he could, responding with an insult of his own. "I don't exactly care what you think you might do if you find out your daughter's nothing but a lying bitch who hates your guts and wishes you'd never started trying to control her. Bella's a grown woman, Charlie," he spat. "Maybe she disappeared to escape you and all the shit you've been forcing her to go through the last ten years of her life."
He huffed, hitting the 'end' button on his phone and then putting it on silent so he wouldn't hear it ring again.
"Why are we here?" Lucy asked as he made it back to where she was sitting.
Edward didn't know how else to explain, sitting down in front of her and reaching for her hands. She didn't pull away, but she turned her face from his and shut her eyes. "The longer it takes us to get to my father's house, the safer we'll be when we get there."
"Why?"
He exhaled sharply, thinking of everything he'd learned of his father's shooting. "Because if Liam finds out what Siobhan is doing and in turn, finds us, there's no measure to how hard he'll come down on my father."
Lucy shook her head. "Exactly why does he hate your father? What happened to make him want your father dead?"
Edward lowered his eyes to their hands, realizing he'd never held anyone's hand before. He'd never wanted to — never had anyone in his life he wanted to do it with, not even his mother. The thought of her crossed his mind — golden, beautiful, perfect — as he looked at Lucy again, and he could see so much of his mother in her.
"It was something so simple," he said softly. "My father and Siobhan loved each other a long time ago. In a way, I know they still love each other. And they would've been married, but my father was hurt. My grandfather and her father forbid them to see each other after that, and then her father met Liam. It was all so convenient. My father being shot, and a year later, Siobhan was married to Liam. I worked so hard to figure it out. There was no way anyone else would've known where my father was that day — no one else but Murphy McManus. Siobhan's father. He wanted a partner from the States because he didn't want to leave Ireland, but the truth was that he wanted a puppet. He threw so much money at my grandfather, and for a while, it was enough. But family was more important to my grandfather, and having his son gunned down on a New York sidewalk made him see how dangerous Murphy was."
Lucy lifted her hand slowly, first touching his jaw and then his cheek. Edward closed his eyes again, leaning into her hand. "I thought you said Liam shot your father," she said.
Edward nodded. "He did, or well, he had someone hired to do it. A year before Murphy met his father Connor, Liam knew something only two other people knew. I only found out about it a few months ago, when I found out who my mother really was. Liam knew it, and he wanted to use it to his advantage."
"What did he know?"
He wanted to tell her, but it was too soon.
"You need to get some sleep," he insisted as he stood up. "Go on. I'll sleep out here."
Lucy huffed, seeming to know their talk was over as she remained sat down. "On this?" she gestured to the sofa she was sitting on at the moment. "It's barely big enough for me."
She stood up to face him, reaching for him and stepping a little closer. "Can you do something for me?" she asked gently.
He didn't hesitate. "Anything."
She lifted her hand to his face again, this time touching his cheek and then his lips. Edward realized a moment too late what she wanted, shocked into silence as she leaned up and tried to kiss him. He stopped her less than a second before her lips touched his, feeling her body closer than it had been in almost 24 hours.
"I can't," he whispered. "I shouldn't. You don't really want this — not after everything I did. Please."
"Would you have done any of it if she hadn't threatened you or me?" she pleaded, keeping him in place as he tried to get away.
"No," he shouted. "Never. I wouldn't have done any of it if I hadn't met her!"
"Then don't tell me what I want," Lucy demanded.
Edward huffed, holding her at arm's length as she gripped his shirt in her hands. "I can't!"
She loosened her hold on him, and he stepped away from her, feeling more angry than he had all day.
"This is my fault," he yelled. "I did this. I chose to do this. And I have to suffer for it. I'm already forcing myself to lie to my father so he won't know I put my entire family in danger. I can't put myself in a position to hurt you again. Aren't you afraid of me? After everything I did, I don't understand why you're doing this."
"Would you have come to Las Vegas without her?"
He stared at her, confused. "What? What difference does it make?"
"Did you want to go to Las Vegas without her? Or was she the only reason you went?"
"I don't understand," he said shaking his head. "Why is that important? I mean, I knew Liam was in the city before I came, but so what? She was the one who — " He stopped before the words could leave his mouth.
Lucy reached for him, grasping onto his shirt to keep him from backing away again. "She was the one who what? What did she do?"
He shook his head again. "It doesn't matter anymore. I shouldn't have listened to her. I did, and this is the consequence."
"A consequence of what?" Lucy pressed, stepping closer to him.
The memory of listening to Bella plan her devious plot of making her father regret his choices played over in Edward's mind. For days before they'd driven to Las Vegas, she hadn't been able to talk about anything else. She'd wanted to show her father — and her mother, for that matter — that she wasn't theirs to control. She had even told Edward how she planned to do it. "By causing as much damage to as many people as I possibly can. Starting with you."
Edward had thought she was teasing him, but now he understood.
The minute she'd seen him, she'd pursued him and wouldn't let him turn her down for anything. Her pursuit had only been fueled by the discovery of his mother's identity. At that point, the only thing left to do was to find the right target. And Liam had been in the right place at the right time.
Despite all of this happening in his head, Edward could see on Lucy's face that she knew what he was doing. Even though it was true that she wouldn't have been involved in this had it not been for him, a large part of it had been out of his control.
Lucy lifted her hand to his face again, her eyes unknowingly finding his though she couldn't see him physically. "I should be afraid of you," she whispered, "but I'm not. I see now that we have a lot more in common than I thought before — if you'll excuse the expression. And maybe I shouldn't want to be anywhere near you, but I do. No matter why this happened, you saved my life. And even though you did it in a very convoluted way, it doesn't make it any less true." She stepped a little closer until she was as close as she had been before he pushed her away. "If you hadn't done what you did, I would be dead now. And maybe so would you. Don't diminish that by trying to take all the blame for this. If anyone should take most of the fault in this, it's her."
She wasn't wrong, and Edward knew that now.
He took her hands in his and laid them over his heart. "I'm listening," he promised. "And you're not wrong. But I can't do this. Not now. If we do anything close to what I did before, I swear I won't want to leave you ever again. I won't torture myself like that, and I can't do that to you after everything that's happened. I'll stay with you, but that's all I can do for right now. Please, Lucy."
No words of acceptance left her lips as she rose to her toes and leaned her face into his. Gently, she nudged the tip of his nose with hers, finding his lips and whispering. "First, kiss me."
Edward had nowhere else to go as he leaned in closer and kissed her more softly than he'd ever kissed anyone. Her lips were warm, and she squeezed his hands in hers as she let go to lower herself back to the floor.
"That wasn't so hard, was it?" she grinned.
"No," he admitted.
"Now, I will go to bed," she conceded. "And so will you."
He wanted to argue, but she refused him the ability, stepping back slowly with him close until it was obvious where she was going. Grudgingly, Edward found another blanket for the bed, laying down with Lucy and holding her as close to him as he had the night before. He worried about what the morning would bring, but when she fell asleep in his arms, he decided it would take care of itself.
As with the day before, when Edward woke up, he found himself entangled in Lucy's arms. Her warm breath tickled the side of his face, reminding him that he hadn't shaved. He still wasn't sure if he wanted to shave, but he couldn't think about himself right now. There wasn't much time for them to hang around the hotel, but Edward couldn't bring himself to wake her just yet.
Maybe she was starting to trust him. He still couldn't say he deserved it. So much was still waiting to happen, and there was no guarantee it would all end the way he wanted it to. He wanted all of this to be over. He wanted to go home where he could tell his father how sorry he was and how much he wished he could take back every horrible thing he'd ever said. Would his father even forgive him?
"Did you sleep?"
Lucy's soft voice broke him from his thoughts, and he lowered his eyes to her face.
"A little," he admitted.
"We have to leave now, don't we?"
Unconsciously, Edward held her closer to him. "Soon."
"Can we eat breakfast, and do we have to get away from here first?"
He lifted his hand to her face. "It's probably better that we're as far away from Vegas as we can be before Siobhan does whatever she's going to do to Liam. We'll cross into Nebraska, and then I'll get you breakfast. Okay?"
She laid her hand over his and leaned close enough for her nose and lips to touch his without moving any closer. Chills shook Edward's body in a way they never had. He wanted to lean away from her, but she wouldn't let him.
"It's okay," she whispered. "Maybe I shouldn't trust you, but I do. I know you're just doing what you have to now, and when this is all over, we'll both be free. Won't we?"
"Of course," he acknowledged softly.
Edward didn't want to move, but the longer they laid here, the more dangerous it got for them to stay in one spot. Liam was still out there, and he was probably still looking for Edward.
"We have to hurry," he said, rising slowly and slipping off the bed before he turned to help her.
While Edward dressed in the bedroom, Lucy changed in the bathroom. He gathered up all their used clothes and packed them away from the clothes they'd yet to wear, and when she was ready, they left their room as close to how they'd found it as possible, getting to the lobby and checking out so they could get back on the road.
These days.
After a short ride to the jet as it waited on the tarmac at O'Hare International Airport, Carlisle, Lucy and Jasper were all seated comfortably in their seats while the pilot who'd only just been made aware of the flight taxied down the runway to leave Chicago. The plane carrying Edward and Peter with a guard and an assistant from the District Attorney's office had left half an hour earlier. Carlisle didn't like being away from his son when he obviously needed him so much.
There was only one reason why Edward would mention Siobhan now, and there was only one good reason why any of this would involve her.
Liam.
It had been six months since Carlisle had even crossed paths with the asshole who liked to call himself Siobhan's husband. In less than twenty minutes, which was how long it had taken Carlisle to make it obvious that he still cared about Siobhan and would never stop, Liam had made more than five overt threats on Carlisle's life — and the lives of his children. Not wanting to be outdone, Carlisle had responded in kind, promising that if anything ever happened to anyone in his family, there would be few places for Liam to hide.
Of course, Siobhan had interrupted them then, demanding they stop trying to prove how powerful and stupid they were. No matter why she'd stopped them, Carlisle had seen the look in her eyes he always had when she was trying to protect him. The idea of her keeping him safe for his own sake hadn't set very well with him, and he'd unintentionally lashed out at her. She obviously hadn't taken it too hard to be so accommodating on the phone. Now that Carlisle thought about it, was Edward the reason she'd been so easy-going with him?
Carlisle loved his wife now nearly as much as he had the day he'd married her. Esme was the light of his life, and she never failed to show him how lucky he was to have her. However, Carlisle had to admit to himself that she hadn't been his first love, and despite loving her so much, Carlisle hadn't always been faithful. He didn't know if that made him a bad person. After Esme had found out about Siobhan, she'd given him a very difficult time making it up to her. Jasper and Rosalie had barely been six months old.
He wasn't an infallible man, but he tried to do his best.
The flight to Las Vegas was nearly four hours, and in that time, Carlisle tried to catch up on news around the city. There was nothing about a shooting or a murder at the hotel, and that told Carlisle that Siobhan was at least keeping her word about protecting Edward. Whatever had happened between them, Carlisle was grateful she wouldn't forsake Edward to his mistakes.
"We have to talk, Father," Jasper said from his seat across the table. "We need to talk before we land."
Carlisle glanced at Lucy to see she was listening to the music player Esme had given her. "What do you want to know?" he asked looking at his eldest son.
Jasper smirked and scoffed softly. "You need to tell me about Siobhan. Why is she even involved in this? How do you know her?"
Despite Jasper's serious tone, Carlisle smiled slightly. "I've known Siobhan a long time, Jasper. I was barely nineteen when I met her — when my father and hers attempted to broker a partnership."
"Grandfather was an antique book salesman," Jasper said with a shake of his head. "What business would he have making deals with an Irish Mob boss?"
Again, Carlisle smiled. "My father sold more than just antique books," he assured his son. "He inherited his business from his father, and he from his. The Cullens have always had deep roots in Chicago — ever since we traveled here from Scotland almost a hundred years ago. I was unable to opt out of inheriting my family's business since I was an only child when my father died. The only reason I've kept it separate from my practice is to keep my family — you, Rose, Edward and Esme — safe from people like Liam McDonnel."
Bewilderment creased Jasper's forehead. "That's not possible."
Slowly, Carlisle leaned over the table, removing the ring he still wore on his right ring finger. Before he'd been married to Esme, it had been on his left hand — a symbol of his commitment to his father. Now his commitment lay with his own family — his wife, his sons and his daughter. With as slight a movement as possible, Carlisle laid his ring on the table between him and Jasper with the crest facing away from him so Jasper would see.
"These symbols have been in our family for over a century," Carlisle explained. "My own grandfather William had his ring forged in Scotland just before my father was born in County Cork." Carlisle pointed to the first symbol at the top of his own ring: an open hand. "The hand represents faith and sincerity, which shows our loyalty to each other." Then he pointed to the second symbol: a lion. "The lion represents strength and ferocity; it shows how strong and fierce we are as a family." Finally, he pointed to the last symbol at the bottom of the ring. "The trefoil represents perpetualness. My father told me when I received my own ring that it was meant to show our survival and the continuation of our lives through our children."
Carlisle lifted the ring and handed it to Jasper. "I wanted it to stop with me," he revealed. "Even if I've had to resort to certain methods to keep Edward out of trouble the last few years, it's not something I've done with any sort of . . . willingness. I never wanted that life for my children."
Jasper took the ring, studying it intensely for almost a minute before he spoke. "Why didn't you at least tell me about this when I started working for you three years ago?" he demanded.
"For the same reason I never told your mother about Siobhan. I was trying to protect you."
"From whom?" Jasper exclaimed.
Carlisle shifted uneasily in his seat, glancing at Lucy again and then reaching to unknot his tie. He watched Jasper's expression change from angry to confused as he unbuttoned his shirt and untucked it all the way to his waist. There was no need to look at his own chest. When Jasper's eyes widened, Carlisle knew what his son was seeing. He'd had to live with the scars for more than thirty years.
"Are those . . . bullet holes?" Jasper gaped.
"I have three of them," Carlisle confirmed. He lifted his fingers to the span of hair above his left ear. "I also have a scar here. From another bullet that grazed my skull."
It didn't take much for Jasper to connect the dots with the conversation they'd just had. "Liam?" he verified.
Carlisle shrugged, buttoning his shirt and then tucking it back in before he pulled his tie back on. "Or someone he hired," he speculated. "We could never prove anything. But my father knew the truth. He called off talks with Siobhan's father the next day. I wish I could say it was good enough."
Jasper also glanced at Lucy, lowering his voice despite her apparent inability to hear them. "Liam tried to have you killed? So he could make an alliance with Siobhan's father. And now Edward's become involved in something with her. He wouldn't mention her otherwise."
A crease polluted Carlisle's forehead. "Edward mentioned her to you? When?"
"Before he came down from Lucy's room. He said — I mean, I tried to explain about Elizabeth, and I told him you loved her. He laughed and said, 'yes, the way he loved Siobhan.' It sounded stranger than I thought at the time, but if you and Siobhan knew each other before I was born, then how would Edward know about it? And what does that have to do with Aunt Elizabeth?"
Thinking back to the argument he and Edward had kept having for the last six years, Carlisle also thought of the fight they'd had three months ago when Edward had discovered the true identity of his own mother.
It wasn't something Carlisle was very proud of, especially with as much damage as it had threatened to do to his family. But it was something he could neither deny nor regret. While Carlisle loved Jasper and Rosalie about as much as any father could, Edward was special. It was unfair to think that way, but it was undeniable. Even as a child, Edward had been so exceptional. And with a mother like Elizabeth, how could he have not been?
"It has everything to do with Elizabeth," Carlisle said after a minute.
Jasper's eyebrows furrowed even further. "How?"
"You were so young that you probably don't remember. Elizabeth stayed with us just after Edward was born, and then she came home when he was eight. It wasn't because she loved her family and wanted to spend time with her parents. It was for Edward. Really, Jasper, have you never noticed how he resembles her?"
Jasper blinked several times, and Carlisle slid his ring back on his finger.
"He looks like Mother too," Jasper insisted. "How could he not? They're sisters."
"Esme's eyes are hazel, Jasper. Like yours. Rose's eyes are like mine, and she inherited as much of my rebellion as Edward. But his eyes are like Elizabeth's — almost exactly. And his hair is also like hers. With her being just as independent as me, I should've expected him to be this way."
The anger that had been in Jasper's eyes returned slowly, and with a raised eyebrow, he nearly exploded. "You cheated on my mother?"
His voice carried through the cabin of the jet — even causing Lucy to jump as she removed the earbuds from her ears. Her sharp shriek was enough to make Carlisle rise as Jasper still glared at him.
"Control your voice," Carlisle commanded.
He hurried to Lucy as she sat clutching her chest.
"It's all right," he assured her.
"What was that?" she cried.
Carlisle glanced behind him to see Jasper get up and then leave the front cabin without a word. He pushed out the breath he'd been holding in, sitting in front of Lucy as she began to breathe normally again.
"I apologize for Jasper's outburst. He'll be all right by the time we arrive in Las Vegas."
Lucy smirked and laughed softly.
"Is something funny?" Carlisle asked.
She shook her head and spoke bluntly. "Some people have no idea how to use their eyes when they actually work."
Carlisle pursed his lips. "I beg your pardon?"
Lucy lifted the small music player in her hands, showing Carlisle that it wasn't even on. He blushed for the first time in years, realizing she'd been listening the entire time.
"You were listening," he deduced, bowing his head.
"People have been shielding me from the truth all my life," she told him. "Even before my accident. My mother liked to pretend she and my father were happy, but my accident happened the night my mother decided she'd had enough of my father neglecting her for his work. She didn't think he could take care of me if she left alone, so she took me with her. I fought her the whole time, trying to do anything I could to make her go back. She wasn't looking when the truck swerved into our lane and hit us head-on. It was the last time I saw her. You want to know the last thing I said to her? I hated her, and I wished she would've left without me."
There was little emotion on Lucy's face, but her eyes filled with tears. She looked more angry than upset. Carlisle was surprised she was even telling him this, but he didn't stop her, even reaching for her hands as she sat still.
"You were a child," he insisted.
"I was mad at her," Lucy cried. "She had no right to decide that without asking me. I don't know if I would've stayed with my dad, but it was my choice."
She leaned forward in her seat holding Carlisle's hands in hers. "What do you think is going to happen to Edward?" she asked softly.
Something about the tone in her voice made him think of Elizabeth. In fact, the instant Lucy asked her question, Carlisle remembered a similar question being asked the night Elizabeth had told him he was the father of her child.
The answer now was much different.
"I don't know," he replied honestly. "This isn't going to be easy. And if I might be so blunt, your involvement will either help or hinder him. I don't know which will be more likely. I wish I had a better answer."
Contemplation filled Lucy's eyes as she sat there. What was she thinking? What did it have to do with Edward?
He leaned in a little closer. "Lucy, is there something else you wish to tell me about all of this?"
Carlisle felt odd asking the girl his son had allegedly assaulted if she was still keeping things from him that might help prove Edward's innocence, but she looked so conflicted. It seemed like she was losing some of the conviction she'd had the night before. What did it mean?
A couple of minutes passed, and she leaned away from him.
"No," she said firmly. "There's nothing else."
She rose before he could say anything else, slowly making her way toward the back of the jet where the restrooms were located.
Carlisle was so confused. First, his son had spoken so sincerely before being taken away by the police. You didn't fail. I just never listened to you. I'm listening now. Edward was saying something so important, but what? And now, Lucy had told him about the accident that had claimed her mother's life while in the process causing her blindness. Why would she tell him that now when they were on their way to the city where Edward had apparently hurt her?
It didn't make sense. Unless . . .
He barely hesitated pulling out his phone and dialing the same way he had the previous night.
"Hello?" She sounded like she'd been asleep.
"I need you to tell me what happened with Edward. And I want the truth this time."
And since I feel the need to . . . yes, this means Carlisle's father was involved in Organized Crime. And yes, the name Cullen is actually Scottish, so I went that route with their family history. But no, this doesn't mean Carlisle is a closet mobster. It might be why he's so wealthy, but he's not a mob boss.
I'm really happy with the way this story is unfolding, and thanks to everyone who's given it a go.
I don't own any of the descriptions for his "Cullen" ring. Anyone who's looked it up will know those are the real symbols for their family - in the movie-verse anyway.
So, see you next time!