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Chapter 10: Office hours

The inside of Slughorn's office was already starting to be too familiar to me.

I suppose that isn't a bad thing. Obviously, I spent an alarming amount of time in professors' offices. It wasn't just the Potions' Master's which I frequented. Flitwick had me in his office regularly; especially the days were he introduced new hand flicks. I might be able to read and instantly know how to do a charm or a hex, but the motor skill of it was one I had to practice on my own, if I wanted to be precise. McGonagall was also a teacher that saw my face in her office at least one a week. More depending if she wanted me to re-do my assignments. And so it was with my other professors. They were patient with me, always willing to help no matter how many times I failed, and urge me to keep going.

The one office I tried to completely avoid was Dumbledore's. It had to be a grave situation for me to willingly step in there.

I supposed that Slughorn's was the office I saw most off mainly because of the club meetings and because Potions was my worst subject. Yes. I was horrible in the subject my favorite teacher taught. It wasn't for lack of trying. Like all my other classes, I obsessed over the material being given, I read as many books as I could, and I tried to be and look prepared. But no matter how hard I tried, I always ended messing something up.

Lily claimed I wasn't paying enough attention to what I was doing as I brewed the day's work. Sure, my mind did wonder sometimes, but it always had to do with the potion. My head tended to go spiraling around, between countless of other uses of the ingredients to the right angle they had to be cut for specific things. Yet that changed nothing. I entered the dungeon classroom every day, prepared to be the best there, and I failed horribly every time.

By that logic I shouldn't be in the Slug Club. Gertrude could never hold on to herself the comments. She always said something about me being shit at potions, and how unfair that she wasn't in the club because of me. Apparently I was holding her spot. However, considering that I wasn't there because of my brewing but rather because of my ancestry, it didn't matter much to me. Gertrude didn't know of grandpa Merlin, of course. Whenever she got too annoying during class, Gemma would shut her up. Not for my benefit, but for her own sake. Gemma had been force at the start of the year to be my potions partner, because Slughorn thought a newbie like me could use the help of a Prefect. She wasn't that much help, in the sense that she didn't even try to help me, but at least she kept me from blowing my eyebrows off.

I offered Lily the option to change her partner to sit with me. And when I say offer, I mean beg. She said no, preferring Mary MacDonald because of reasons I was too bummed out to want to remember.

So, after dinner I marched to Professor Slughorn's office. He had asked me exclusively to go discuss the day's class and the occurrence I had produced. I did interesting things in Potions class, but this one topped the cake.

"Honestly Faraday, I'm enormously impressed. Somehow, you used the ingredients for a Strengthening Solution to make Felix Felicis. It was nowhere near maturity, but I say it was expertly made."

Yes, apparently I did that.

Professor Slughorn sat behind his desk. He held an expression of utter fascination, much the same he had done during class when he discovered what I had done. He couldn't believe it, and I was lucky that he didn't let it known to the other students. The one thing I did not enjoy from him was when he boasted about my work. Even less when it was work done wrong and completely unintentionally. "You wouldn't happen to remember the procedure you took, would you?"

I shook my head. Some strands of my hair brushed my forehead, making me have to pass an exasperated hand over them. "I'm not sure, sir. I was following the instructions in the book."

He leaned back on his chair, ever looking at me with that proud stare he liked to give the students from his club. "Maybe you changed the page by accident."

Again I shook my head. My foot started tapping in desperation, but it was not directed at the professor. He was trying to make sense of things by voicing out his thoughts. However, I had gone through all the possible situations that led to that outcome. From an instruction error on my part to sabotage, it did not make sense. I was positive that I had done everything right. What's more, liquid luck and the solution had different ingredients and procedures. Unless I did everything wrong, there was no way it could had happened. "That happened on my first week here, so I've been using my quill to mark the book pages."

Slughorn's mustache gleamed in delight under the candle light. "Oho, this just gets more fascinatingly confusing as we ponder it. Ever more so when Felix requires an incantation. One which I would have noticed, had you said it."

I nodded. I tried to compose myself better before speaking.

"Professor, I don't understand what's happening. I'll admit I have trouble in every class, but I somehow manage them. I'm getting good grades, I guess, considering. But I don't get what's happening with Potions. Merlin was good at them. He told me. And I understand every instruction you give, I know what every ingredient does, and I follow the procedure to the dot. Still… What am I doing wrong?"

He watched me with sympathetic eyes after my rant. His mouth opened to give a reply, but he closed it without saying a word.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." The professor called.

The door was opened, and in stepped Sirius Black.

I won't say I didn't stare, because I did. My whole reason to go to Slughorn's office was to vent. I knew the teacher wasn't going to fail me –he would give me all the opportunities I needed to succeed –and both of us already knew that my problem had something to do with me getting in the way of my blood knowledge, somehow. Therefore, that left the reasons to meet in the office to be entirely vain. The professor wanted the satisfaction of me confiding to him, and I needed someone to talk to. I needed someone that knew of my situation and was willing to listen to my drama. It didn't matter that it was a teacher, I needed to vent to prevent going loony.

And the Gryffindor had just cut into that. So, I stared like I was angry for a few seconds, because I was. He stood as he always stood in front of a professor. Well poised, a bored look, and an immaculate appearance. In the shadows the candlelight created on him, his house colors were unnoticeable, making him look like the purest representation of a Slytherin there ever was.

When he glared back at me, becoming aware that I was in the room, I looked away. It wasn't that much of a glare, more like 'oh there is someone there' kind of look.

"Ah, the detention, of course. This way, Mr. Black." Slughorn said, grunting as he stood from his chair.

Striding inside the office, Black joined the professor to a large cabinet that towered to the side. It had been opened since I got there, and one look there was enough to deduce that those were the work of students during class. Some varied in color, and most times their individual smells would reach me. On a table beside the cabinet were similar vials of potions, unsorted, but already marked. The Potions' Master gave stick instruction that could be summarized to sort the flasks by grade and date.

I stood as I saw that Slughorn wasn't returning to his seat behind the desk. "Should I leave professor?"

"Not yet. I have a favor to ask of you." He said turning back to me. "There's a pressing matter I must look after at this very moment –strictly academic I assure you– and it leaves me to ask, Miss Nolan, if you would please watch over Mr. Black's punishment while I sort my matters." From his desk he took his pointy hat to put over his thinning and graying hair. "I promise I will make haste."

The urge to desperately decline came over me, but I couldn't. I couldn't decline a teacher, much less my favorite one.

I nodded.

"Good good! I'll only be away for a few minutes. Black, I assume you heard. Treat Miss Nolan as you would treat me, under the circumstances."

He left.

I slumped on my chair, putting my hand to my temple, hoping that my cold fingers would ease the eternal headache I harbored daily. I should have brought my homework with me. Somehow I knew Slughorn would take a while longer than he had said, and I was three inches behind a Defense essay on Dementors due for next class.

On the chair next to mine, Sirius Black deposited himself, getting himself comfortable as I think I looked.

I stared again. "Aren't you supposed to be sorting the flasks?"

"Are you going to tell on me?" He said with a smirk. From within his robes he drew his wand, and with a swirl of it towards the cabinet, the flasks began to move on their own.

I shrugged, looking away. Any Slytherin would had said yes, and then imposed him/herself as a superior and made him work his detention, but I had no initiative towards even trying. Classes had been tiring, I had barely gotten any sleep the night before, and all I had to look forward when I got to my dorm was a pile of homework to be done, and books to be read. I hadn't the strength to impose a punishment I didn't care for.

There was a moment where all I could hear was the scraping of glass sorting itself out.

"You smell good." Black said suddenly.

My eyes darted towards him again, and I fell prey to his wicked grin. I instantly knew he was joking. He wanted to get a rise from me. The mischief was evident in his face; one could see it a league away. I wouldn't let that happen, I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing his prank really bothered me, not when he had done worse. Trying to mimic Gemma, I smiled back at him. The change in me killed a bit of the playfulness in his expression. Maybe it had to do that I was exaggerating the pure-blood heiress thing too much. "It's my new fragrance; Dung, by the Marauders."

His laughter made me jump in my seat. I swear to Merlin, he had just barked. That unsettled me in a way I could not understand. I had to look away. Again, all I heard were the flasks arranging themselves. As the silence wore on, something began to trouble me.

"Nice game by the way, I always wanted to see a bludger up close." I couldn't resist bringing it up, the topic had bothered me so much. It hadn't been the fact that he seemed to have intentionally attacked us Slytherins during the game that had me ticked off. No, my problem had to do with my housemates, and how they wouldn't shut up about getting revenge. They schemed in the common room, in the Great Hall, in the Study area; anywhere they grouped together, claiming all the things they were going to make the Marauders pay back for, only to do nothing. It was annoying.

His eyes darted to me. "Yeah, sorry about that, my arm slipped." He said leaning closer as he stretched his arm once to make his point.

Now that he was closer, I could see into the darkness that swirled in his eyes. Gemma described looking at him in the eye as 'getting lost in a storm in the middle of the sea', and though I saw what she meant, there was something else in them. There was something strangely familiar. It wasn't just the color of eyes; it was everything. The color, their shape, and the length of his eyelashes made bells ring in my head. I had never been that close to Sirius Black, but I felt like I knew his eyes from somewhere.

But that didn't change the fact that his arrogant answer stirred emotions in me I rarely used outside of my own House.

"I imagine is a normal occurrence." I heard myself mock.

He shrugged. "It was just a joke."

Oh, how the mock turned to anger. "And it was hilarious. But it would have been even more hilarious had you sent some poor kid bleeding to the hospital wing."

"Do I seem that bad?"

"Yes." My answer was crystal clear and it left me stuck staring at his eyes again. They were a dark gray, and they were not backing down.

The glare dragged on.

He scoffed once at me and stood, going to do the work he was supposed to be doing and breaking the eye contact. He did not say a retort back, though I have to admit I was expecting one. It left me a bit disappointed. I wanted him to feel bad for what he had done during the Quidditch game, but his exit from our conversation was an honest representation of his true feelings. He just didn't seem to care.

Slughorn came back and after a few words he ushered me out.

"About your matter Faraday, strange things happen every day. No need to worry too much. You'll sort things out. Take this." He handed me a Potion Brewing Book. The cover was a bit tattered and its printing looked like it was a decade old. "It's too advanced for you, but it covers our curriculum with greater detail than the class text book. Maybe a good read of it will help you clarify your problem. Also a trip to the library never hurts."

I took the information in stride, though I had the feeling reading that book would confuse me more. Not to mention that my heart deflated at the prospect of having to read yet another book. But that always happened, and I would just keep reading. I said goodbye to the professor, and took one last look into his office. Sirius Black's back was to me, and it gave me an odd feeling. The bells were still sounding in my head. I felt like I was trying to repress something and I didn't quite understand why or what it was.

I definitely had to go to the library.

...