Chapter X

No Matter What

No matter what…

…well, so much for that.

Thorin ran through the events of a couple mornings ago and pondered, not for the first time, where exactly he had gone wrong.

Thorin had finished his breakfast quickly and, deciding that he didn't want an audience for this, strode out of the main inn and headed to the stables where the ponies were kept – where he hoped the woman would be. He stopped at the entrance to see the girl stroking a speckled pony's face, one that Thorin did not recognized (it was probably purchased yesterday by the woman). It was already prepared, with a saddle, reins, and a small pack strapped onto its back.

Thorin was about to make his presence known, but as he was about to clear his throat the woman spoke.

"Come to avenge your nephews?" She said without turning to look at Thorin. It was impossible for her to see him from her current stance, but she was obviously talking to him so Thorin stepped the rest of the way through the entrance, but before he could retort she changed the subject. "Horses are quite remarkable creatures aren't they?" Well that was unexpected. "They've been my favorite animal since… well… since I knew what they were, I guess. I've always admired their strength and endurance; the pure power that they possess." She still had not moved to look at Thorin – she just kept stroking the beasts face. "And yet, their movements are graceful and elegant. Once you've earned it, their loyalty and trust for their person can be fierce. But they are stubborn creatures. Once they decide to not like you, it's almost impossible to change their minds." Thorin was still dumfounded. Why was she telling him about horses (or ponies in this case). Thorin took a few steps forward but stopped when Miss Ashley turned to him – while still stroking her ponies face. "You're here to tell me I can't come, aren't you?"

"Yes."

"Thought so." She let out a defeated sigh that made Thorin wonder if this wasn't going to be as hard as he had originally thought. Her hands dropped and clasped together behind her back, causing the pony to let out a whine at the loss of contact. "Why are you so against it? My joining your company I mean."

Thorin's eyes snapped to hers. Her eyes held no scrutiny, just curiosity. Her face was straight and calm. Thorin couldn't remember the last time someone not of his kind had asked a question with no judgment held behind it. And if she was going to ask an honest question, he would try to reply with an honest answer.

"Because I cannot risk the lives of my men. I do not know you; you could have been sent by some assassin to kill us, to put an end to our quest. These are things that I cannot allow to happen."

Miss Ashley looked down as if she were mulling his words over. A smile, albeit a smile one, tugged at her face. "Is that all?" Thorin was slightly taken aback by the question. "You don't have to answer that," she said, her smile a smidge brighter as she look up at him. She turned back to stroking the pony's face, leaving Thorin much more confused than before. He was struggling one what to say next. Whatever response would have be appropriate, Thorin didn't know, so let the silence carry and waited until she spoke. "If you were an animal, what animal do you think you'd be?" Her questions were just getting stranger by the minute. He was a dwarf and always would be. Why would he ever think about being an animal? "I think you'd be a horse."

Thorin eyes snapped to hers for a second time. "Don't tell me you don't see it," she said. Thorin looked at her with utter confusion. His eyebrows creased together as his mind came up blank on how her statement had made any sense. The human gave a breathy laugh before continuing with a bemused smile. "What you just told me, about how you wouldn't risk your people's lives and their home, told me that you are an honorably loyal dwarf. You put others needs before your own, and fight for them. You do not trust easily, but for those that you do put your trust in should count themselves lucky. And the way you carry yourself, it's the way a horse carries itself. Confidently and completely determined." Her hands fell behind her back once again as she took a step towards him – the pony whinnying after her. "I relate to the horse. So in a way, if my intuition and perception has done me any good, I kinda relate to you."

This was by far one of the strangest, oddest conversations that Thorin had ever had. He had barely said anything, only answering questions, and they had somehow gone off into a strange field of talk. She thought they were similar. That they were the same. Foolish girl. They were not the same, and they never would be. He was a king, even without his kingdom – one that he had lost along with the people he loved. She would never understand him.

"What I'm trying to say is… I don't think that just because we are of a different… race," she seemed unsure of what word to use there, "doesn't really make us that different. We grew up in different cultures. We might have different views on certain things. But everyone has a conscience, and any person in their right mind knows right from wrong."

"That's enough," Thorin bellowed, "I do not wish to speak of this nonsense any longer."

"Very well," she walked till she was right beside him, "But I'm still coming." It took a moment for Thorin to comprehend that she was still demanding to join the quest.

Thorin spun around. "You are not coming! That is why I came in here, to tell you exactly that. Not for you to beguile me with riddles and ridiculous notions."

Before Thorin could react the woman was standing right in front of him – only separated by a few mere inches. Thorin resisted the urge to reach for Deathless, but was still prepared to draw him at any time should she try and attack him. "I'm not trying to fool you, I'm only asking for a chance to be trusted. Please," Her eyes looked straight into his, making Thorin more uncomfortable by her stare than their close proximity, "give me that chance."

Thorin was ready to say no – he really was. But something in him reached out. He didn't know if it was the look in her eyes, or the hand that now rested on his forearm. But somehow, someway… he gave in.

"Fine. You get your chance." Thorin briskly walked around her and just as he was about to step out of view, he turned slightly and said, "Don't screw it up."

If Thorin had stayed just a couple of moments longer he would have seen a shining smile and silent laughter shaking the young woman's shoulders.

It hadn't been that long ago, but Thorin honestly couldn't remember what had made him give in. Why would he have done that? It wasn't pity (she would have been perfectly fine being left in Bree). It wasn't that he wanted her there either (he would rather confront a small army of wargs). He went through possibility after possibility, but nothing came to him. It was like his subconscious had taken over, deciding to agree without his permission.

It infuriated him to no end.

Chatter fluttered into his ears. Thorin suddenly remembered that he was not alone, but had been in such deep thought that he had completely blocked all sounds and movements out. Not liking how unaware he was, Thorin straightened up on his pony and set his thoughts aside for later.

How'd you guys like it? I originally was going to make this chapter longer but I didn't think I'd be able to update it soon enough, so I cut it short. Sorry.

Thank you so much to everyone who read, reviewed, followed, and/or favorited! It makes me super happy and excited to write more for you guys.

Have an awesome weekend and don't forget to tell me what you think.