Jess talks to a little girl
Disclaimer:This is a work of fiction based on characters from the Warner Bros. television show 'Gilmore Girls'. I don't own any of it.
Author's Note: I kind of lied, this chapter isn't Thanksgiving. Oops. Oh well. I don't even remember what the point of this chapter is so it'll probably be short, but it's in my outline. Which, by the way now has an ending. After this there's four more chapters and maybe an epilogue and time is going to start moving faster... especially because I am seriously getting tired of this story and at the moment am only really writing for you guys (so if you don't review, I might think no one's reading and therefore will just stop) because you deserve an ending. I might write some snippets afterwards, though because I had all these Jess/Dani scenes in my head that just aren't going to make it into the fic.
Chapter 10 – And what they were stirring was…
Rory calls Jess' house early on Monday morning just to make sure that their cooking lesson is still on the next day. Jess answers.
"Hi Jess," Rory replies to his muffled greeting.
"Is this going to be quick?" he asks, gruffly. "I'm supposed to be leaving soon."
"Sorry," Rory apologises. "I just wanted to talk to Gary."
"Oh," Jess replies, a little put out that she hadn't called to speak to him. "Gary's sort of in the hospital," Jess informs her.
"What?" Rory is shocked. "Is he okay?"
"He is actually," Jess tells her. "I mean, really he would have left days ago, but Selina's been insisting that they look him over thoroughly, and that he can't leave until he can sit up by himself."
"Selina?" Rory questions. "His wife?"
"Yeah," Jess nods, though she cannot see that. "He was in a car crash. We were going to go out to dinner so that he could reconcile with her. He finally realised how much he missed her."
"So they did reconcile then," Rory says. She can't say she isn't happy for his friend. "So I'm guessing my cooking lesson tomorrow's off, then."
"I guess so," Jess replies, having forgotten about that. "You might want to ring him though, anyway. Do you have a pen?"
Rory makes an affirmative noise when she has one, and Jess rattles off the phone number of Gary's hospital.
"Is that it?" Jess asks.
"Um," Rory says. "Thanksgiving? Are you coming? I know Jacqui and Brian would love to see you."
"Oh, yeah. I need to ring them. But no."
"Why not?" Rory is disappointed. Who knows when she'll get to see him next.
"I usually spend it with Jimmy," he replies.
Oh yeah. His father. "Well, I think he'd be welcome, too."
"I don't know," Jess replies. "He and Liz don't always get along."
"Okay," Rory says. "Can I see you?" she asks, desperately. "I was going to see Gary tomorrow, but since that's not working out, are you going to be around?"
"Tomorrow's not good for me," Jess says.
Rory is silent, waiting for him to tell her when he is free.
"Jess," she says finally, as he tries to leave the phone. "How are you?"
"Rory," he replies. "Rory. I just am."
"I miss you," she tells him honestly.
And though he wants to say that the same is true for him (because it is) he can't. "Goodbye, Rory."
She hears the click of the phone and isn't sure what he means. Weren't they supposed to be friends?
8 8
It's Wednesday. Gary's finally well enough to get out of the hospital. But not, according to Selina, well enough to help Jess pack his stuff up and cart it back to his house.
And for a guy who hadn't really officially moved, there is a heap of stuff there. And Jess isn't even touching the stuff in the kitchen that Gary added, since it had been bought specifically for Jess' kitchen. And who knew what would happen if those "essential" items weren't there. Gary always was the sort of chef who likes his gadgets.
Two hours after he starts, Jess manages to tape up the last box and take it back to Gary's place.
Jess thinks about Rory, and her phone call. He didn't want to be so stand-offish toward her. But the day after she'd gone, he'd torn straight into the guest bedroom and straightened it out. Rory had kept it clean, but the mere fact that he had done it made him feel so guilty.
He didn't deserve Rory.
8 8
A couple of weeks later (the week before Thanksgiving), Rory gets a phone call from Gary.
"Hey Rory," he says. "Sorry it's been a while."
"That's okay. But you're feeling better now I hear?"
"I'm on top of the world. I don't care if it took a car accident; to have Lina back with me is a blessing."
Rory chooses not to mention that his wife didn't trust him before so who's to say she'll trust him now. "I'm assuming you didn't call just to catch up."
"You are correct as always, cara. I called to ask if you still want cooking lessons."
"I do, actually." She hasn't really thought about it much, but learning something new is always important.
"How's tomorrow?" Gary asks. "I just took the day off."
"Tomorrow's perfect, actually. I promised I'd pick Dani up in the afternoon, so any time before that is fine."
"Beautiful. We'll meet at my house." Gary gives Rory his address and directions, and they say a fond farewell.
8 8
The next day, Rory roars out of Stars Hollow bright and early. She's been living in the apartment above the diner since she left Paul, except when Dani is with her. Then they both camp out in Lorelai and Luke's house.
Rory hopes to get to Gary's early enough that whatever she cooks she can eat for lunch before going to get Dani.
8 8
Gary is the happiest Rory has ever seen him, although, Rory realises, she has only met him once before. It's strange to think that. Since she and Gary both have such strong connections with Jess it feels like they've known each other forever, without Jess having said anything to either about the other.
Conversation flows easily between them as they peel potatoes. Gary has decided that Rory is going to learn to make gnocchi with a tomato based sauce. Not bolognaise as he keeps reminding her. There is no meat in this dish.
"Cooking is love," Gary philosophises. "We cook to show our affection. Be it neighbourly love as Jesus tells us we must have, or the deep, romantic love we hold for a spouse."
"But what if I'm cooking for myself?" Rory asks.
"That could be considered the saddest love of all – love for oneself. But I don't think of it that way."
"Then how do you think of it?" Rory is genuinely interested. Whenever anyone has mentioned cooking and love before, they never seem to consider that possibility.
"You're not cooking for yourself. You are nourishing your own self so that you may go on to love more people.
"Does the suicidal man eat? No, he starves himself, begging death to take him in any way he can."
Rory gazes at Gary thoughtfully and wonders how his wife ever thought he had cheated on her. "You really do love cooking, don't you?" Rory remarks rhetorically as she sets the pot of water on the stove.
"I do not love to cook," Gary proclaims. "I merely love."
"Well I guess that's why I've always loved to eat," Rory comments. "I was always surrounded by people who loved me."
"To share a meal is to share life."
Rory and Gary work side by side for another twenty minutes before their lunch is finished. Sitting at Gary's farm-style kitchen table with plates of pasta before them, they are content and connected in a way they never were before.
"I can finally see why sullen Jess would be friends with you," Rory comments. "This is the best gnocchi I've ever had."
"I don't know if that was a compliment or an insult."
Rory laughs. "Seriously, Gary. You're an amazing teacher. Did you ever consider teaching people how to cook?"
"Can you imagine me teaching home ec?" Gary asks.
Rory laughs again. "I was thinking more along the lines of cooking school. But if Jess can teach high school kids, anyone can."
"Anyone with patience. That I lack."
"Jess is one of the most impatient people I know. Besides my editor, he's basically it. It's like when you're talking to him he can't waste all of himself waiting for you to finish, so he's thinking about something else at the same time. But at the same time, he's still focusing all his attention on you, analysing what you're saying and comparing it with what you really mean. And at the same time thinking of something to say, but it's all so perfectly timed that when he does say it, it's as though in that moment he came up with the perfect thing to say, effortlessly."
"You're in love with him," Gary says bluntly and with remarkable insight.
"I'm not," Rory denies immediately.
"Most people don't think that much about how Jess Mariano thinks."
"Most people haven't known him as long as I have."
"You haven't seen him in ten years. You're in love with him," Gary repeats.
"I was in love with him. That's when I had the time to think about that."
"You're in love with him," Gary reiterates a third time.
"I can't be. I'd feel different. I still remember what it was like the first time."
"You never fell out of love with him. You've always loved him."
And as is her wont after the acknowledgement of such things, Rory makes a quick exit.
"I need to pick up Dani," she says before hurrying out of the room, borrowed apron and all.
8 8
As Rory drives back to Paul's place, she wonders why she acted so strangely. It is always Jess, she realises. The truth hurts. But of course, just as she's thinking things through, finalising a divorce, Jess has fallen off the planet into that place called: Give Rory the Cold Shoulder.
But, Rory thinks as she parks in her old driveway, that's a problem for another day. Jess is always going to be there somewhere.
8 8
That afternoon, Rory takes Dani to her office.
"Can I play with Martha?" Dani asks as they walk hand-in-hand up to the paper's office.
"I'm not sure if she's in, sweetie," Rory responds. "But if she is, and she doesn't mind, then yes."
"Yay," Dani cries, skipping ahead of her mother in her eagerness.
They take a familiar elevator up to the third floor where Martha's desk is. Martha is one of the lifestyle section's editors. Mostly the living, house and home stuff.
To Dani's delight, Martha is sitting at her desk. What Dani most loves is Martha's vast collection of snow globes, and the stories that most go with them.
"Hi Martha," Rory greets her co-worker.
She glances up with a smile. "Rory! And Dani too. How are you sweetheart?"
"I'm good, thanks!" Dani replies with excitement.
"Do you mind if I leave her with you? Sandra's left something on my desk which she wouldn't mail to me because she absolutely had to speak to me in person."
"I had half a mind to do the same thing," Sandra declares. "I know you're going through a rough patch, but you need your friends."
"I'm aware of that," Rory smiles, and watches as Dani shakes a snow globe. "I've basically moved back in with my mother when Dani's with me. The rest of the time I'm living above my stepfather's diner."
"I'm sorry I hadn't the space for you. But with Scott's parents in town…"
"I don't mind at all. You know I always spent more time in the office than I absolutely had to."
"And now you don't come in unless you absolutely have to."
"That's right," Rory grins. "So can I leave her with you?"
"Of course. Dani and I are going to have lots of fun together, aren't we sweetheart?"
Dani doesn't respond, too involved in her conversation with a snowman inside a snow globe.
"Bye Dani. Be good for Martha, won't you?"
"Yes mommy," Dani agrees absently.
Rory goes to her desk to find some empty boxes sitting on it. Panic grips Rory as she realises that Sandra might have been meaning to fire her. She cannot be fired. What will she do? She'll never be allowed to keep Dani if she doesn't have an income. What could she possibly have done that would make Sandra consider it? And what can she do to fix it?
"Ah, there you are Rory," a voice from behind startles Rory. "I see you've seen my little present."
"The boxes?" Rory queries, hoping it's some sort of practical joke played by another member of staff.
"Yes," Sandra beams.
So much for a practical joke. "I don't understand." Is the woman so pleased to be getting rid of her? Can she not even wait to sound so jubilant once Rory is gone?
"I'm giving you a promotion!"
Rory is instantly relieved. She is not being fired.
Sandra smiles. "Now, you know how the paper's been thinking about expanding its lifestyle section into a magazine insert? Congratulations, you're in charge."
"What?" Rory feels like she's being given some sort of surprise marriage proposal from a stranger in front of a crowd of thousands. "I can't have a promotion."
"Nonsense!" Sandra declares, continuing on as though Rory isn't looking at her as though she's just declared she's a psycho killer. "You've been here eight years now. Your column sells this newspaper. You deserve it."
"But I'm not cut out for managerial things. I can barely keep my own life together," Rory protests.
"You'll just be editing," Sandra replies. "Didn't you want this?" Finally she is coming back down to Earth, realising that Rory is less than thrilled.
"You know I'm having personal issues. There's the divorce and Dani to think about. I can't have more responsibilities than that."
"Oh," Sandra seems more than just disappointed. "I guess you do have to take care of yourself first."
"Thank you for understanding."
"I don't really. But I know a 'no' when I hear one."
"You know I would have been thrilled about it two months ago."
"So I guess I should take my boxes back. And give them to Andrew. He's been begging for it since he heard. Since before anyone else knew."
"The paper will be better off with someone keen behind the wheel."
"Not if they're keen with bloodlust."
Rory laughs. "He's not as bad as all that."
"Are you absolutely certain you don't want this job?" Sandra fixes Rory with a calculating look.
"Absolutely," Rory replies with a firm nod of her head. She can't have this. "Dani's my number one priority. I can't have anything clouding that."
"A healthy employee makes for a healthy company," Sandra quotes from somewhere. "She's lucky to have you."
"Tell that to the judge," Rory says darkly.
"I would, you know," Sandra offers. "If you want me to. You're an excellent mother."
"Thanks," Rory replies. "I'll let you know if I need you."
"It's awful what he's doing to you."
"I know. I'd be perfectly happy to keep the arrangement we have now. But Paul's always been selfish and spoilt."
"Well, I wish you luck," Sandra smiles, picking the cardboard off Rory's desk.
"Thank you Sandra." When she's gone, Rory slumps into her chair and groans. Two months ago her life was perfect.
8 8
A/N: Ugh. Is it just me, or do these chapters get worse and worse? Not to mention shorter. But this is one of those necessary in-between chapters.