Disclaimer: I do not won any of the characters of Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha
Interview 9: Hard Choices
BT: WELCOME TO THE SHOW… I… I'm… YOUR HOST… BT!
The reason for BT shouting is the setting, currently the entire crew of the show is on a pirate ship that's sailing through the worst storms seen in years, everyone is trying to stabilize the ship all except BT whose tied to the mast… seems like he's dead weight here
Pirate cameraman: Full sails ahead!
Crewmember: that's reckless Captain!
Pirate: who gives a damn, nothing is going to stop us!
A large whale about the size of a small mountain passes right in front of them… OK maybe that will stop them?
Pirate: arrrrhk, think you can stop me and my ship you overgrown fish!
Turns towards YN who's currently standing at the front of the ship
Pirate:p give the beastie a warning about standing me my way, arrrrk
YN: but it's a cute whale
Everyone stare in utter shock… when has YN refused to blast anything which isn't Fate???
BT: I second that thought!
Cameraman: if we don't do SOMETHING we'll end up as whale lunch
To make his point the overgrown whale decided the ship will make a FINE snack and opened it's mouth to eat them… why do it have napkins, table salt, knife and Forks?
BT: thanks for JINXING us!
Everyone on board is considering throwing the cameraman overboard… he deserve it fro crying out loud!
Pirate: Ready my loud speaker!
Crew: already done, so start shouting at that thing!
The pirate Cameraman breathes in deeply
Pirate: you're standing in my way you overgrown fish, if you don't want me to inspect your teeth I suggest you leave us!
This didn't seem to matter to the whale until the pirate ship unfurled it's sail… except the sail is an oversize certificate of dentist practitioner on whales… is that even possible to get?
BT:…
Cameraman: is that even possible?
Yuno: yes it's possible, it's just been recently introduce
BT: jee weeze I really wanted to know that!
Arf: Does that mean he can look at me teeth?
Yuno: yep
Arf jumps into a barrel to hide… looks like everyone is afraid of the dentist…
YN: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!
She jumps into a barrel and hides… looks like even the white devil has something to fear!
BT: that whale don't seem to be scared
The pirate captain use his trusty camera to zoom on the large whales teeth to find a plaque nailed to it reading "this whale has past all dental records of having the finest set of teeth," the pirate captain looks dumb founded… that's a first, whales making sure they have nice and healthy teeths
BT: well that sucks
All of a sudden music started to play as a ship came into view… it has the biggest loud speakers ever seen in history too!
Voice: move aside or face the fury of my fist!
Who ever it is made the whale turn tail and ran… why did that line that guy said sounded so cheesy?…
Pirate: thanks for the assistance me matey!
The ship comes alongside and from it jumps one tall blue hair man with wolf ears and a blue tail… gee I wonder who could this new comer might be?
BT: finally!
BT rips the ropes that's tying up to the mast… couldn't he have done that earlier???
BT: at last I found my guest, the self appointed Lone Wolf of the Wolkentritter who ran away from the cosplay crazy mistress, who is always forgotten as no one seems to remember his name and was dating Arf, Ladies, Gentlemen, fishes and all fishes of the sea I presented to you Zafira! Or also known as Zaffy by Vivio
The storm dies down and from, god knows where; submarines appear and unloaded the audience who began to cheer to the blue wolf… what the hell?
Zafira:… by any chance this is been broadcasted around the world including interdimensional places… say Mid-Chila?
BT: yep it is an…
Zafira jumps back to his ship and is ready to set sail, a quick lassoing later and bounding to a chair BT begins interviewing Zafira… what is he so afraid of?
BT: right, first off why are you trying to run?
Zafira: I'm running from HER!
BT: by any chance her first letter of her name begins with an H and ends with an E?
Zafira: damn right!
BT: errr… right we'll do something about that, but right now let's get this interview on the roll
Everyone else, namely BT staff sit round giving at least two feet of breathing space of the two… or maybe they're giving such a large space for them in case of any "stray" bombardment spells comes down upon them…
BT: First off, a question from Major Mike Powell III "Dude, don't you feel kinda rejected in A'S? You barely, and I mean BARELY get ANY screen time, AND you get your ** handed to ya in the final chapters. LOL"
Zafira: I reject that statement; I had plenty of screen time
BT: care to count for us?
Zafira is ABOUT to count for us but then decided not to… can you blame him?
Zafira: also I didn't get my butt handed back to me
BT: who remembers Zafira having his butt kicked pretty badly in A's and Strikers?
Everyone agrees, including Arf whose laughing at how pathetic Zafira in having his butt kicked… isn't it true?
BT: there you go the audience has spoken
Zafira: but you haven't seen my show have you!
BT: errr… what?
Zafira: why do you think I've been prowling along the seas for… I don't know
BT: you just told me to get away from a cos play maniac
Zafira: that is only HALF the truth, for I have been recording my courageous and daring trip round the sea on my own
BT: why on earth are you doing that?
Zafira looks proudly at his ship then to BT
Zafira: because the producers say that they'll make a spin off show just for me!
BT: will this be a bad time to mention that the White Devil has taken an unhealthy interest in your ship?
YN stares at the ship before looking at Zafira with the evilness look before pointing Raising Heart ready to shoot the ship, Zafira sprang into action against the little girl but came across two obstacles, one been YF brandishing Zamber Bardiche giving the cutest look possible that would put a puppy to shame… and the ever trigger happy White Devil who swung what appears to be Divine Buster at Zafira… either get in the way of the blast OR let her blast his ship… tough choice
Yuno: should I… you know… save his pride?
BT: by all means stick yourself in front of the firing squad if you want
Arf: please Yuno don't, you won't come back in one piece!
Yuno: errr… by any chance you're worried about me because I make those fabulous steak sandwiches?
Arf: that and other things
BT: errr I think I don't want to know ever know what the other things are!
The great Lone Wolf Zafira has come to a final decision, with a heavy heart he turns round and sits down on the seat beside BT… the White Devil begins to put holes into Zafira's ship, one tiny little hole at a time… OK I think she's pure evil incarnated!
Zafira: my records
BT: well if you're so looking for screen time why not join my staff?
Zafira: as what?
BT: assisting Arf maybe?
The blue wolf stare at the orange wolf who gives a playful look…
Zafira:…
BT: you can give me your answer after the interview
BT looks for the next question… YN is still carving up the poor ship at a slow pace… maybe it'll be there at the end of the show?
BT: right, what are your thoughts of the other knights and your mistress?
Zafira: Vita is Childish, Shamal is scary, Signum is strict and my mistress… can I skip her?
BT: errr… by all means yes on HER, but you've given me a brief summary of each of the knights… like one word per knight if I'm not mistaken
Zafira: well you did interview Signum and she pretty much summed the others up pretty well without me having to say anything
BT: so what she said applies to you?
Zafira: pretty much
BT: care to go into detail on… Vita for example?
Zafira: fine, she loves watching Saturday cartoons in the morning like Bugs Bunny and all the that
BT: anything else?
Zafira: one time she stayed up late and I told her there was a cartoon was on, she instantly sprang into action grabbed some popcorn a tub of coke and parked herself on her favourite couch… I on the other hand was lying on the floor
BT: it's tough been the man of the house
Zafira: anyway, when the cartoon started it was kind of gory and really scarry, I was fine but Vita nearly choked me as she screams at the horrible death on screen… can I stop here about Vita now?
BT: you may, don't worry I understand, you want to stop for the good of your health, correct?
Zafira: yes
Somewhere in the sea…
Vita: ZAFIRA WHERE ARE YOU!!!!
Looks like Vita heard about the interview and is in the process of finding the poor Guardian beast
Vita: ARRRRRRHHHHHH
Reasons unknown she begins to pummel the first thing she sees… in this unfortunate case it's the whale that ran away… you can guess what Vita did to it
BT thought he heard the wailing of an enraged demon… followed by what appears to be evil laughing… BT needs to leave… NOW!
BT: do anyone got the urge that we need to leave this area… say NOW!
Yunno: RAISE ANCHOR!!!!
Pirate Cameraman: DO AS HE SAID!!!!
Zafira: why is everyone running around like something is coming
From the horizon is a tidal wave… with a certain hammer knight surfing on the huge whale that try to eat them…
Arf: we won't make it!
BT: I know!
Grabs YN and puts her on the end of the ship then points at Vita and whispers things to her… she get's angry and fires a barrage of Starlight Breakers… let's not even ask what BT said that could have made her this angry!
Arf: somehow I'm not reassured that he manages to get her to unleash that manage Starlight Breakers that quickly
Yunno: it might be for the best if no one knows
YF: what about BT?
Yunno: I'm sure he'll live… for now
Vita and the tidal wave is obliterated… as to where Vita went to is everyone's guess… then again that new star that just showed up in the night sky might be a hint…
BT: right, now for the next question
Sits down smiling smugly while the rest of the crew edge a little further back from him… wouldn't you be scared if he knew how to make YN do a barrage of Starlight Breakers under five seconds?
BT: what is your relationship with Arf like then?
Zafira:…
Looks to Arf who smiles while wagging her tail… Zafria on the other hand gives a dreaded look
BT: err… something the matter?
Zafira: we have nothing special happening between us
BT: as if , Arf is practically going to jump you if Yunno wasn't restraining her
Yunno has placed binds round the orange woman… looks like she didn't mind… errr bad thought
BT: who here thinks Zafira and Arf makes a cute couple
Everyone raises their hands… another overwhelming vote against Zafira's words
BT: tell us plainly for us to understand and we MAY reconsider about our opinion
Zafira: when we're alone she would force me to be underneath
BT:…
Zafira: she's so harsh and relentless it's uneblieveable I'm still alive
BT:…
Zafira: the pain and the humiliation I felt as she lead me… I should be the one leading!
BT: well that's love… in the bed I guess
Zafira: I'm talking about when she forces me to be the puppy that leads me on a leash
BT:…
Yunno: BT thought of something else…
Vivio: weren't you thinking of the same thing?
Yunno: I think the same thought crossed everybody's mind
Vivio:… you have a point
BT: I'll be moving on then
Vivio: why not ask him what his thoughts about me?
Zafira stare at Vivio and her younger counterpart Vivi
Zafira:… Vivioi… two of them!
Vivio: ah, Zaffy seems to be happy to see us!
BT: he don't lo…
Zafira turns into a puppy and plays with Vivi… whatever happened to the forbidding Lone Wolf character Zafira was trying to be?
BT: maybe he's a puppy at heart?
Cameraman: you know this is the cutest moment I've ever seen of Zafira
Zafira is now on top of Vivi and is licking her… while Arf looks ready to tear someone apart…
Arf:… you're cheating on me!
Arf would have gone postal except two problems, the first been that Yunno is holding her back with more binds… how many binds can this guy make… on second thought don't even answer that question, the second reason is that Vivio is smiling innocently with a Starlight Breaker prepared… if she hits the ship they're all done for!
BT: Zafira… Zafira… ZAFIRA!!!
Zafira is brought back to the seat by Vivi who sits down with the blue cub/puppy on her lap… some of the audeience is giving envious looks…
BT:… OK since I'm on the subject what are your thoughts of little Vivio?
Zafira: she's so adorable… words can't even describe her.
BT: I can see what you mean… but do she have any bad points?
Zafira: been easily influence by Hayate
BT:… Fate, Nanoha if you're watching this please keep Hayate away from Vivio, we do not want another Cos play Maniac
Somewhere on Mid-Chila both aces are listening
Nanoha: should I Starlight Breaker Hayate?
Fate: NO!
Nanoha: but…
Fate: we'll simply talk this over with Hayate
Nanoha: fine… but first
Nanoha tackles Fate to the bed and has her ways with the blonde… do I need to even say anymore about this??
From somewhere BT thought he heard some… interesting sounds… let's not even go there shall we?
BT: well looks like we're out of time
Zafira: it was kind of short
BT: well lack of questions and the strange things that happen on this show tends to eat up my time.
Zafira: that's understandable
Yunno: plus Zafira's ship is still floating
Zafira's ship is floating with a few dozen holes in it… until a Divine Buster blew it apart and manage to hit the nearby submarines containing the audiences as well… come on having the audience been injured or slaughtered is a given for this show!
Zafira:…
BT:… I know it's kind of cruel, but why not work for me, this way you can stay away from HER and at the same time spend time with Arf and Vivio
Vivi: YAY!!! Zaffy is staying!!!
Hugs Zafira to the point of strangling him…
Arf: oooo, I'm going to take my time with you
Zafira is crying as he's dragged by Arf to the captains cabin and places a "DO NOT ENTER!" sign at the front… anyone wants to take a peek inside at the cost of their life?
Yunno: you just sentence him to death row
BT: ah, he'll get over it
Cameraman: IF he survives that is
BT: oh well at least I got an extra staff, anyway next time we'll be interviewing Reinforce and Reinforce Zewi!
Yunno: wasn't Reinforce… you know
BT: I did say I have my demonic ways of getting people didn't I?
YN: are you trying to steal my line again?
BT:… NO!
YF: where are we going to see Reinforce-san?
BT: simple, we'll be interviewing her, and Rin, at the place she was sent off, namely on that hill
YF: that hill brings back memories
YN: yes indeed
YN is licking her lips while her hands keeps squeezing something imaginary… errr couldn't be anything to do with a certain blonde woman… could it?
BT:… anyway make sure you tune in for the next show, so with that, Later!
Pirate Cameraman: unfurl sails and play the ending theme!
Crew Member: Ay, Ay captain!
The ship sails away while playing the Pirate of the Caribbean Song "He's a Pirate"