As always, my words are prettier because of Katie and Trin.

My Bernstein . . . she's amazing. Jake would not be the character he is if it wasn't for her. (For those of you keeping track, she takes credit for Sandy, Renee, and Jake, and rightfully so.)

I don't own Twilight, its characters, or anything else that is publicly recognizable. Dexter, his family, and these words are mine. Please don't steal.

I never do this, but you really should listen to the song before you read this chapter. (http://www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=4IeDtMK9cYo) I'm so, so sorry for the crappy quality, but this song was originally released in 2002 and I cannot find a better version of this anywhere. Trust me, I spent close to an hour looking.

You've got me in a tough situation,
sorry if this sounds stupid.
I'm losing my mind through this repetition.
Stop me before I lose you, too.
Leave it to me to be cynical,
jaded and boring; rhetorical.
This dry humor that keeps me here each day
is all that I have to keep you away.
-Stop, Punchline

I threw my hands up in frustration. Looking around the apartment, I realized how much I had left to do before leaving to pick up the moving truck.

"Are you kidding me with this?" Jake held up a worn out copy of Gone With the Wind. "When did you trade in your balls for a vag, E?"

As if I needed a reminder of what I'd lost the morning she asked me to leave so she could be with Emmett.

"That's Bella's, you asshole," I snapped.

Jacob had flown out from Chicago to help me pack up and drive back to my parents' place in Illinois. While I was grateful he was being such a good friend, I was also annoyed that he was making snide, stupid remarks every other minute.

"Okay, man. I was just asking. You know I'd love you even if you did decide to become a woman. Hell, I'd probably love you even more. I'd divorce Leah in a heartbeat if you decided to go through with a sex change. What could be better than marrying my best friend?"

"You did marry your best friend," I growled. "At least that's what you said in your vows."

Jake cocked his head to the side and gave me a goofy grin. "I did. The kids ruined it."

I threw a paperback at him and rolled my eyes. "You're the one who hates condoms."

"You are so right about that," he muttered. "Dicks are meant to be free. They're confined too much already."

We worked in silence for another hour until Jake complained about being hungry. Because I'd made the decision to go back to Chicago, I hadn't gone grocery shopping so I suggested we hit the diner.

Jake decided to spout his words of wisdom at me while we waited for our dinner to arrive.

"Dude, why are you on this settling down kick? Rosalie is like your Jennifer Aniston. She's making you feel the need to settle down. Bull shit, brother! Bull. Shit. We're men! We're not meant to settle down. We're hunters. Hunters hunt! They . . . they roam!"

I stared blankly at him; I'd learned over the years that it was better to just let him go until he wore himself out.

"It's like being a damn penguin," he said suddenly.

"Penguin," I deadpanned.

"Yes, penguins. I fucking hate them. Them and their tuxes and their mating for life bullshit. Ruins it for everyone."

"Do you do research, or are you just blessed with the gift ridiculous knowledge?"

"I blame Lifetime and Dr. Phil for this. And penguins."

I shook my head and laughed.

"Look, all I'm saying is I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen, E. I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie. You know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet. You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay?"

"Did you just quote Swingers?"

"Vince Vaughn is an incredibly smart man."

"Vince Vaughn didn't write Swingers. Jon Favreau did."

"But Vince brought Trent to life, and you cannot deny Trent was a fantastic character. Who else could've delivered the line "You're so money and you don't even know it," that beautifully? I'll tell you who- no one."

"Fine, I'll admit Trent was a good character, but that particular quote didn't fit into our conversation. Not even a little bit."

"Please don't take a turn to Negative Town?"

"Old School?"

"Wedding Crashers."

"Nice."

He finally shut up when our server put his dinner in front of him, and I planned to enjoy the silence so when Emmett strolled up the table I didn't bother repressing the groan of annoyance.

"Edward! What's up, man?" Emmett boomed, clapping me on the back. He turned to Jake and gave him a toothy grin. "Emmett McCarty."

"Jake Black," he said between bites of his burger. "What's up?"

Emmett grabbed a chair from the table next to us and straddled it. "Guess you're joining us," I mumbled.

"You new in town, Jake?"

"Nah, I'm here to help my man E escape Mayberry with a quickness. Stage five clinger has him all upset, so I'm playing the role of a good wingman and helping with the drive back to Chicago."

"You're moving back to Chicago?" The shock in Emmett's voice was obvious. "Does Bella know?"

"I haven't had a chance -"

"Why the fuck should he tell Bella? Chick's been screwing with his head since he moved here for her. I don't care why you think you moved to Satan's armpit, E," Jake said, holding up a hand to stop me from talking. "You moved here for her, not Rosalie. You ask me, neither one of them was worth it."

Emmett's ears turned bright red and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat.

"What?" Emmett sputtered. "Are you . . . do you know who . . . What the fuck, man?"

"What do you mean, what the fuck?"

"Emmett is Bella's best friend," I supplied.

"First of all, where do you get off calling Bella a stage five clinger? Calling my town Mayberry and Satan's armpit? And I'm sorry, Bella and Rosalie are worth moving for," Emmett snapped.

"Your town? Look around, dude. It's like Wal-Mart and 90's grunge hooked up and had a prom night baby."

"What the-"

"Your girl Bella is a classic example of a stage five clinger. She only ever calls Edward when she wants something. As for Rosalie, unless you want to be here until next week, I suggest you not ask my opinion on her."

"If she's only calling him when she wants something, isn't she the antithesis of a clinger?"

"Moot point. You're a meathead if you think you can outwit the wit in this bromance."

"More like the dimwit," Emmett snapped.

"Guys!" I felt like I was in the middle of a pissing contest. "Why don't you just whip your dicks out? Wouldn't that be easier?"

I stood, grabbed some cash, and threw it on the table. "I can't deal with this right now. Jake, I'll see you at the apartment when you're finished," I said over my shoulder as I stalked to the door.

"Come on, Edward!" Emmett called.

I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing or where I was going. When I threw the door open, I nearly smacked a woman in the face with it. "I'm sor-" I started before I realized who was standing there.

Sandy Robinson. With Bella. What. The. Fuck.

###

After everything was packed and all we had to do was load the truck in the morning, Jake had had enough with my relative silence. I got a text from Emmett asking me to meet him for a beer, and he swore up and down The Last Call was a safe place because Bella never worked on Thursdays.

"Why don't you go out and grab that beer? Spend some time with yourself, see what Emmett wants. I need to be a good husband and father and pretend to like everyone back home for an hour or so anyway."

I was wary of the whole thing but I figured it couldn't hurt, so I headed out.

I said hello to a few of the regulars when I walked in, and was surprised to see Bella behind the bar. She gave me a half wave, then turned back to the customers in front of her. I nearly turned around and walked back out, but Ben immediately poured a drink for me and I didn't want to be rude, so I took it and enjoyed being alone and watching bad sports on TV for a while.
Just as I finished my beer, Emmett came in and plopped down on the stool beside me. He didn't say anything until after Ben had placed a drink in front of each of us.

"Edward . . . Look, man I don't think you should . . . don't do this to her. I don't think she can take it."

"For once I'm actually thinking about me, Emmett. I need to do this for me. I need space, and I need time. Going back to Chicago is going to be a good thing for me."

"I get it, I really do. This past year has been really rough and-"

"No, you don't. You don't have a fucking clue how I feel," I snapped, jabbing a thumb at my chest. "Bella always calls you when she's down. She tells you everything. You get to know what's going on in her head pretty much all the time. I've tried like hell to understand her, to show her how much I want to be there for her, and all I get is ignored."

"You're moving back to Chicago?" Ben asked quietly.

I nodded sadly.

"Oh wow. Well we'll miss you around here," he said, turning around and going back to work.

"I gave you my opinion on the matter," Emmett said after a few minutes. "But like you said, I know a lot about Bella. I think you need to tell her. If she finds out when you don't show up here for a few weeks, or when she sees someone new coming out of your apartment, it's going to tear her up.

"Edward, that girl is like a kid sister to me. I can't just sit here and let you plan to leave without telling her. It's not fair to her. Or to you, for that matter. If you don't tell her, you're not giving her the chance to ask you to stay, and I think she might do that."

"I'm tired of her holding me by the damn balls, Em. She had all the power when it came to whatever we were, and I've never even asked all that much. I just wanted her to try and let me in."

"Look at her history, Edward. She let Dexter in and he died. She let Sandy in, and she treats Bella like shit ninety-nine percent of the time."

"I don't see how any of that is my fault. I'm pretty sure Dexter couldn't help dying. And as f0r Sandy . . . I can't even start on that bitch. If Bella's so fucked up about Sandy treating her the way she does, why did I see them together earlier? Or did you miss them walking into the diner as I was leaving?"

"I did see that," Emmett said, nodding.

"Well then you're going to have to excuse my annoyance with Bella and her inability to push away the negative in her life for the good. I swear, Em, the only good people I've ever seen her with on a regular basis are you and her father. And a few of the people who work here. Everyone else just wants to tear the poor girl down and I get the backlash from that. Not you, not Chief Swan, not Ben. Me. Why does she treat me the way she does?"

"Isn't there some saying about always hurting the ones you're closest to?"

"Bullshit, Emmett. Bella and I are not close."

"She kisses you."

"When she feels like she needs physical attention, and only because she knows she couldn't get away with trying to kiss you."

"She kisses me all the time," he protested.

"Cheeks don't count asshole," I huffed. "I can't stay here and let her rule everything I do, even when she doesn't know she's doing it. I need this. I need to go home."

"Tell her. You'll regret it every day if you don't," Emmett implored.

"Bella!" I called. "Meet you here at closing to walk you home?" Her brow furrowed, but she nodded. "Happy?" I asked, turning to Emmett.

"Walking her home doesn't count as telling her."

"I'll tell her."

"Shake on it," he demanded, sticking his hand out in front of me.

I reluctantly shook his hand and threw some cash on the bar to cover our drinks. "I'm going home for a little while. I promise I'll come back to get her, and I promise I'll tell her tonight."

###

It was ten minutes before the bar closed, and I was pacing back and forth. The anticipation of telling Bella I was moving back to Chicago sat like a brick in my stomach. I didn't want to tell her. I considered just walking her home, telling her goodnight, and praying she was still asleep when Jake and I loaded the truck in the morning, but I didn't trust the odds of that actually happening.

Ben saw me through the window and waved me in, motioning that he was about to lock the doors. I nodded and held up a finger, wanting one more minute to calm my nerves before going in and facing Bella.

I must have been more lost in my thoughts than I realized, because Ben called my name as he ushered the last of the bar's patrons out the door and gestured for me to come inside after him.

"Thanks, man," I muttered as he locked the door behind me.

Bella was behind the bar, washing glasses and laughing at something on Comedy Central. She froze when she saw me and gave me an awkward smile. "I shouldn't be too long," she said when I sat down on my usual stool.

She slid a full beer to me and shrugged when I looked at her questioningly. I sipped at the drink and watched while she and Ben went about cleaning.

Being faced with the inevitability of explaining why I was moving to Bella sucked. I really, really didn't want to tell her about it. I kept hearing Emmett in my head, telling me it wouldn't be fair to just leave without saying anything.

He was right. Despite feeling rotten about actually going, Bella didn't deserve to be hit again with the sudden loss of someone she cared about - if she actually cared about me at all.

I rested my elbows on the bar top and palmed my forehead. Coming to terms with leaving her was harder than discussing a failing relationship with Rosalie, and she and I had been together for several years.

The entire situation felt ridiculous and trite. Why was I letting myself get so worked up over a girl who in all likelihood wanted nothing of substance from me?

"Edward." Bella stood waving her hand back and forth in front of my face. "We're done. You ready?"

I gulped down the rest of my beer and nodded. "Let's go."

We left the bar together and walked a block in the direction of our building before speaking at the same time.

"Bella -"

"Edward -"

She gave me a small smile. "Go ahead."

I rubbed the back of my neck and sighed, unsure whether to ease into this or just rip the band-aid off. A few beats of silence later, I chose the latter. "Bella, I'm moving."

"Like out of the building? Did you find a better place somewhere? Where is it, because I feel like I need to find a new place. I swear I'm suffocating in that-"

"Not just out of the building. I'm going back to Chicago."

Her hand moved so fast I didn't have time to stop her before she slapped me. "What do you mean, you're going back to Chicago?" My cheek stung from where her hand cracked across it and I instinctively reached up to touched the warm flesh.

I laughed and shook my head "It's not that complicated, Bella. I've spent the last week packing up my shit. In the morning I'm picking up a moving truck and trailer, and Jake and I are starting the drive to Chicago."

"Why? What's the purpose in going back to Chicago? You need to act like a child again and the only way you can do that is if you have mommy around to coddle you?"

My eyes went wide and I started laughing harder. "Oh my god, Bella. Do you even realize how funny that is coming from you? You've done nothing but act like a child since I met you. Most people grow up when they lose someone they love at a young age. Really," I said as she narrowed her eyes at me, "you hear it all the time. Kids lose their parents and they grow up faster because they have to be an adult.

"You didn't grow up. I don't blame you. Everyone in this god damned town treats you like you're twelve and you go right along with it. I get grief; I do. But it's been almost a year and you still get so upset that you drink yourself into a stupor when something doesn't go your way."

"You have no idea what I've been through," she said through clenched teeth.

"You're right, I don't. And why is that, Bella? It's not for lack of trying. I skipped New Year's in Chicago with my friends to come back here and tell you how I felt about you. Instead I found you so drunk you puked on yourself because you got a letter you'd been whining about not having for ten months."

"Edward, I-"

"Why does everyone in this town indulge your every whim? Is it because of your dad's job? Or is it because you somehow landed the town golden boy and they're all afraid you'll break if they bring him up around you? Don't think I haven't noticed how you only allow certain people to talk about him around you.

"Fuck, Bella. Don't you see? I have to go back to Chicago. Have to, because this town is toxic. I'm not the man I was when I moved here; I've been walking on eggshells for the last ten months because of you and this fucking town. And I do it because everyone tells me 'Be patient with Bella, she's had a hard time of it. You don't know what she's been through, you couldn't possibly understand her.'

"They're right. I don't understand you, because you wouldn't let me in! I've tried everything I can think of to show you I cared, and I wanted to help you through this. Bella, I was never looking to jump into bed with you regardless of what this fucking town thought. All I wanted to do was be there for you, to give you a shoulder other than Emmett's to cry on if you needed it. I'd be stupid if I said I didn't enjoy kissing you because kissing you is like nothing else I've ever experienced, but a man can only take so much rejection.

"I got past you yanking your hand out of mine when we ran into Dexter's parents in Port Angeles and I thought: okay, she's uncomfortable with PDA, but then you threw me out of your hospital room and I figured it out. You're just not ready to stop being everybody's perfect little princess."

"So that's it?" she asked, tears streaming down her face. She grabbed my hand and squeezed tightly. "Edward . . . I don't want you to go."

"I'm sorry," I said as I pulled my hand away from hers. "I have to do this for me. I can't do this any more. I can't fight the whole town . . . and I'm tired of competing with a ghost."

I looked down at her one more time before walking toward my apartment, and toward a future without Bella.

I posted three side shots/outtakes from KRM and this story under the title Heartbreak Warfare. The letter is there if you haven't seen it yet.

Thank you to each and every one of you who voted for KRM in the Indies. This morning I learned I'm a finalist in both categories (Best AH story and Best Secondary Characterization). Voting starts March 15.