I wake up from my unconscious state at midnight. I'm spending the weekend with him so might as well get comfortable. I decide that I'm not that tired, even if I've only been out for about 2 hours. I look into my bag for my gauze and everything else I'll need and start applying them to myself. I get ready and put on some sweatpants and a tank top. My hair is tied up into a high ponytail and I leave the house and get ready for my jog. I have nothing better to do other than go around town. My phone is with me just in case, though. I jog up and down streets and stop once I reach the hub. It's where my dad works. My mom works for a volunteer agency. They're both in the government. I decide to enter the building and explore because I can never get much of a chance to do that when I'm here with my parents. I go to the top floor and see people rushing past me, not caring whether my attire totally differs from theirs. I have this certain spot I go to here that I found with my brother when we snuck out of our parents' hold one day. We were five back then. I remember it so vividly.
"Caleb, don't you wonder what secrets await us in their work?" I ask my puny excuse of a brother. Haha, puny is a funny word. Puny. Puny, puny, puny. He just grunts, "Beatrice. We've already discussed this. There is nothing for them to hide." I cross my arms over my chest and pout. I don't like it when my brother chastises me.
"They're always being so discreet and secretive about those things. Don't you ever get curious as to what would trigger their vagueness? Mommy and daddy never give us an actual explanation on their jobs. They always give us the 'well, your mommy works as a volunteer to help the city and its people and I work in the council with the same purpose your mommy has'. Daddy's always using that explanation, no other one. Let's just explore this one time and if we find nothing, I'll forget about it." I have to pronounce the complicacted words slowly. Stupid Caleb and his smarty-pants. I truly do believe he owns a pair, no matter how many times I'm told they're illogical, it still confuses me that a five-year-old is a genius.
"Promise?" I nod my head and keep my fingers crossed behind my back. He might be smart but that doesn't mean he's caught onto all of my "shenanigans" as he calls them. "Fine. I'll help. We need to plan so we can get out of their grip, figuratively of course." I look at him with a confused expression. "Caleb, would you stop befuddling me? Some of us actually act our age."
He chuckles, "No offense, lil sis, but I'm pretty sure you meant to say bewilder instead of befuddle. And there's nothing wrong with being ahead of the others." I just scoff. "Anyway, what should we do for the plan? Hurry up and think, we'll be leaving any minute now." I follow his instructions and think hard. Then it hits me, "bathroom. I can say I need to go to the bathroom when mommy and daddy are discussing something important...and then a few minutes later, you use the same excuse." He gives me a high five. "I thought you act your age. And you look really adorable when you're thinking." I stick my tongue out at him. "It's all because of you. I can't act my age fully because of you." He bops my nose.
"Caleb! Beatrice! Time to go," mommy shouts from downstairs. I rush down them to be met with both of my parents smiling down at me. That still doesn't mean I didn't notice how they were staring at each other right before I came into their view. It was a look of pure love, which makes me want to puke and swoon at the same time. Funny, huh? Daddy picks me up and blows into my neck making a funny sound I giggle at while mommy smiles at us and kisses my cheek. Caleb comes downstairs and insists on just holding mommy's hand instead of being carried. She laughs at his response everytime she tries something and he declines. It's like the Tom cat saying "no no no". Daddy marvels at mommy laughing. I can tell by his face when he looks at her when she's like that. I'll admit, she does have a beautiful laugh.
We make in into the car and drive all the way to the hub. Once we get there we wait a couple of minutes and finally, a knowing glance is shared between us. We nod at each other and I ask to go to the bathroom. I'm granted permission and wait for Caleb to come. He finally arrives and we start looking around for things. Anything, really. We were about to give up when we spotted a dead end with a window. It was beautiful. We started running towards it and I noticed that where someone would sit, the cushions were awfully slumped. I took them off and lifted the top of the window seat. Me and Caleb both gasped. I looked up at him and while I was looking, I saw a very narrow passage behind him, proving this isn't a dead end. It was so narrow that someone would have to be skinny to enter it, and they'd still be forced to enter it sideways. Of course, I wouldn't have trouble with it. I pointed behind him and he stood there in...astonishment? Yup, that's the word. He motioned me towards it but I was already making my way there and he was prepared to go inside the window seat. We specifically picked the places for each other that would work. I'm the skinnier one. We were just about to enter..up until we heard a "Beatrice?". We both immediately sprung out of the spots and went towards the voice.
"Beatrice? Caleb? What are you doing?" Marcus asked us, kneeling down to our height. He seems crabby but so sweet, somehow at the same time. I've never known him not to be a good man. Him and my dad are close. After me and Caleb are done trudging towards him, we stop right in front of him and warily say, "Nothingggg" at the same time. We look at each other and laugh. He looks us up and down. "Well, shall we get you back to your parents?" He doesn't wait for a response so we don't give him one, just follow him. I know judging from the way he is right now, he seems strict, but trust me, he can be so silly with us sometimes.
I snap out of my daze once I get there. I can still fit through the narrow passage, but Caleb and I made sure to explore the places the time we came after the time we discovered it. We weren't sure if we'd be able fit through them anymore so he insisted that the logical thing to do would be to explore them soon. I really miss those times. I can't believe Marcus would do such a thing though. I wonder when he started. He seemed so silly and playful when we were kids. I have to admit though...a beating would probably be good for Four, but only once in a while when he's really reached his limit. After all, he is a dick...but not even dicks deserve beatings like that. The fucktard needs to back off though. Like, seriously, he keeps doing all this damn sweet stuff because he expects something in return from me or for me to fall for him so he can break my heart like he's done to every other girl. I'm not letting all those kind things [which is very little] get to me. He has found one girl who seems tough to break and I'm not letting him complete the task. If only he'd realize that...
After turning multiple halls, I finally decide that I better get on with my jog. I exit the building and start running again. I reach the lima bean in Millennium Park just a few minutes after. This has always been an interesting sight to me. Caleb and I used to always play here.
"Bea! Hurry up!" Caleb shouts which makes me stop dead in my tracks. I stare at him shocked. "Bea?" I quirk my three-year-old eyebrow at him. His birthday has already passed so he's currently four. "Oh ya. I forgot to tell you. I found a nickname for you. There's also 'Bumble Bea'." I narrow my eyes at him, then roll them. "Do you not like it? I was telling mom and dad it and they seemed to love it." I gape at him. "You told mommy and daddy before telling me my own nickname? And since when do you use nicknames?" He shrugs and says, "it just popped into my head one day. No biggie." I momentarily think about it and then just go back to running with him.
We reach the bean and start gaping at it. "Bet you can't catch me!" he sticks his tongue out at me. I accept his challenge by running after him. The only problem: he has longer legs than me which causes me to trail a little behind. But, luckily, for me, I have a lot of energy in my system so after 3 laps around the bean, I tag him. He stops running in his direction and goes the opposite way, catching me. I giggle and while I'm running to stall, I think of a plan. I keep getting distracted, though, by the urge to climb the metal structure. Finally, it dawns on me that that is exactly what I should do. I start climbing the outside of it and once he actually notices what I mean to do, he huffs in response.
"Beatrice! Get down from there! You aren't allowed to do that!" I look at him confused. "Why not?" He grunts. "That isn't fair. And there may not be a rule about climbing structures but I'm pretty sure it is strictly frowned upon." I start to get down, upset. When I'm almost down, he tries to tag me. I start to climb down and run around just to butter him up. Once I think he's pretty tense, I run to the inside of the bean and start scaling it. This one is a little harder I'll admit, but I'm determined enough to make it, and I do. The outside is like climbing jungle gyms. The inside is like climbing the underside of a roller coaster. You only have one thing to cling to, and if you can't...well, that isn't an option. "Beatrice! That still is unfair. You can't do that," Caleb whines. "Admit it, Caleb. I win." He huffs and then we hear noise outside. "Bumble Bea? Caleb? Where are you?" I hear my daddy shout. Caleb's face lights up and he immediately runs to them. But it wasn't the usual Caleb-light-up face, it had an obvious batch of mischievousness in it. Anyone could've caught it..or been able to tell what Caleb was planning on doing. I get down so quickly I'm jostled by it but I still keep moving. I start running after him and he finally gets to my parents. You can see my parents' face light up a little more the second they see the both of us. I'm so close to him I jump on his back and end up almost tackling him. He composes himself before he hits the ground though. All I think of that is: that was a letdown.
"Mommy! Daddy!" I squeal to make sure they're in their good mood. My parents hold out their arms and I run into them after hopping down from Caleb. My mom starts tickling me and I giggle. She lifts me up and starts to carry me. I cling to her like she is my support line. "You guys should know what Beatrice was doing. She was climbing the bean." I knew Caleb would be a tattle-tell. Honestly, when is he not?
My parents both turn their gaze onto me and I just smile at them innocently. I cross my eyes and make a horse gesture with my mouth. They laugh and ask me smiling, "Seriously, did you actually do that?" I nod my head. "Why?" my mother asks still smiling. "It seemed intrigeeying," I reply back which earns a round of laughter from them. I start getting mad. Why are they laughing? "Oh baby, you're pouting!" My dad says which earns me even more laughter. I stop immediately and make sure to get mad, this time without pouting. "Sorry baby..it's just what you said, really." My mother says gently. "The word is 'intriguing' Bea," Caleb points out. Ugh, why does he always have to be a smarty-pants? I put on my annoyed expression and when a piece of hair falls into my face, I blow it away. They all laugh again and mommy holds me tighter. Daddy and Caleb come to hug us tightly, too.
It really is funny how smart Caleb was back then. After staring at this structure for God knows how long, I decide to continue with my jog throughout Millennium Park. As I'm jogging, I notice two students from my school. Edward and Myra sit on a bench so close they bump elbows with the slightest movement. Myra pauses whatever she was doing to kiss Edward. I watch them carefully. I've only seen a few kisses in my life.
Edward turns his head and presses his lips to Myra's. Air hisses between my teeth, and I look away. Part of me waits for them to be scolded. Another part wonders, with a touch of desperation, what it would feel like to have someone's lips against mine. A real kiss. Not the cheap truth-or-dare one. I shake my head at the thought. No one would ever be able to love their twelve-year-old little sister.
As painful as it is, because I know we won't be able to get back to the way we were, it was also nice to take this stroll down memory lane. I check my watch and see that it's 3:15 AM. I'm about to turn back but then something catches my eye. I look around and realize that there are a bunch of couples from my school here at this time. The one that sticks out the most to me though, is Caleb and a girl I believe lives right next door. I realize after a few seconds that the girl is Susan, one of my childhood friends. We still are. I can't wait to tell Robert about this. For the past year we've been sending signals to each other when we notice Abnegation flirtatious behavior going on between them. I wonder if he's here. If I'm the only one who doesn't know about this. I start walking towards them. Once I approach I clear my throat. "Hey Susan, Caleb." They look up at my voice and it seems as if horror strikes their eyes. "Hey look! The Stiff is here!" I search for who made the sound and my gaze settles on Peter. "Oh and look...she's all battered and bruised!" he starts smirking now. It just occured to me that I'm only in a tank top and sweatpants that aren't doing a great job of covering my abused self. My scars aren't showing so much but my bruises are a little more visible...and don't let me get started on the gauze that just proves their point even more. I start to run through the crowd which is really hard, especially when people keep trying to block my way. A voice makes me stop though. "C'mon Peter. No need to criticize her even more. She's just a little girl." Four
"Where'd the Stiff get her bruises, though, Four?" He asks tentatively. He shrugs, "Stiff. She probably stood up for someone else and because she's so stupid, she decided getting a beating would be better than actually beating the crap out of someone." He could've done worse is what I'm thinking. "I'm not so sure that's it, Four," Peter replies. "Why do you always have to target her? Why, Peter?" Four asks getting angry. "We both do it. What's gotten into you? Don't tell me you actually like her." Four closes his eyes and starts to pinch the bridge of his nose. Nita, Molly, and Lauren are trying to comfort him by attempting rubbing his arms soothingly...but because they're competitive bitches, they end up going so fast with it that it's most likely irritating. Four proves my point correct when he pushes them off him. He takes a moment to reply, "I do not like her, Peter. But I've realized: why the hell are we wasting time with her? Most of the time I don't mind, it's quite amusing actually, but there are times where I don't want anything to do with that bitch. Now is a good time to have some fun, why are you letting her get in the way of it? Honestly, it seems as if you like her, Peter." He concludes his statement with a bitter chuckle. Peter looks disgusted at what was just thrown towards him, and spits on the ground. "We both know that isn't it. I'd rather be dead than actually do something with her." Man, these people couldn't have gotten more hurtful.
I start pushing my way through the crowd again while everyone just laughs. They just laugh. At who? Well, that seems pretty obvious. They just laugh at me. I know my tears may not be visible, but I also know that they're there. And they want to escape. I finally make it out and I start running, but not before I hear, "Great, Peter! You ruined the whole damn night. We could've all just ignored her and had a good time but now it'll keep popping into our heads. I seriously hope you're happy." That sarcastic, hurtful remark causes me to run faster. And faster. And faster. I obviously didn't run fast enough because someone grabs my wrist and turns me around. Only one person I know does something quite like this. We meet eye-to-eye and I wish I could say that this surprises me, but it doesn't. I knew from the moment he did it. The person who's eyes I'm looking into is Four.