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Chapter 9

I always have this fear that one day

You are going to discover

That I'm not as great

As you once thought I was.

Chaos was all around us. Stephanie had taken my hand and held it tightly. I had closed my eyes, only hearing all the yelling from LAPD and the fire men. A hand on my shoulder made me open my eyes and I was looking at Callen.

'Are you okay, Lisa?' he asked me worried and I slowly nodded. I was okay. Just a little bit covered in dust. I stood up and was shocked when I turned around. The building where I used to work had crashed down to the ground. There was not much left beside the door. I just stared at it, not knowing what to do.

'Oh my God,' Stephanie whispered next to me and I looked at her. She was covered in dust as well. Everyone who was close enough was covered in dust. I looked to my right where Sam was talking on the phone. He looked pissed.

'Are you both okay?' Callen asked me and again I nodded, still not finding words to speak. 'Good. I'll get you an officer to take you home.' I watched the officer he gestured to come, walk towards us. The officer let us to his car.

'Did you see what was left?' Stephanie asked shocked. 'A freaking bomb! What if we had been inside? Then we would be dead right now! Holy something! We could have died!' I looked at Stephanie as she was rambling. This had been her first time to be so close to her death. For me it wasn't. I had been even closer to dead than this bomb. This time we were at a safe distance, behind a car with two special agents. I actually felt safe. It was not like the other times.

Nerves were racing through my body. I was waiting for the people to leave the plane so that I could leave as well. Why were so many people going to LA? Were they all going here to enjoy the beach and the sun? To spot some celebrities? I wish I was on my way to the beach. The flight had been tiring. I had spent my time reading about Pedro Sandros. Reading all about his crimes.

'Come on!' I said frustrated when a woman dropped all her stuff on the floor, slowing everyone down. 'I have to go! Move on!'

'Calm down, lady,' another man told me.

'Don't tell me what to do,' I told the man angrily. I had enough of people telling me what to do. 'Write this article about penguins. It'll be cute.' 'Write this about that wedding! People are going to love it!' No, this time I was writing what I wanted to write. With this article I was going to make it. That was if I got out of this plane any time soon. The woman finally had gathered her stuff and the other passengers were moving along. I stuffed the last things in my bag and I walked out of the plane. The sun was blinding. It was so different from New York. I took a deep breath and continued walking. This would be my moment. I stopped a cab and got inside.

'To this hotel please,' I told the driver and I handed him the address. The man nodded and he drove away. I leaned back and took a moment to look out of the window. Suddenly the cab stopped and two other men got inside.

'What the he…' I started but I shut my mouth when I was facing a gun barrel.

'Hello Miss Parrello,' the gunman said. 'Lovely to meet you…but you got here at the wrong time, and for the wrong reason. I know someone who would like to talk to you.'

Another fist hit my face with full force and I heard my nose crack. I didn't feel the pain anymore. I was barely conscious. Sandros pressed a gun against my chin, with the safety off.

'Now tell me why you are so interested in me!' he demanded. I felt the urge to tell him everything. I knew what he was capable of. He had witnesses disappear and their families killed. Sandros was a man without a heart or feelings. He was a cold blooded killer.

'Tell me and I will spare you,' he told me and I looked him in his eyes. 'Who are you working for?'

'I'm a journalist for Ewoods,' I told him.

'That I know but Ewoods isn't the magazine to have any interest in me,' Sandros said after hitting me again. 'So tell me for what agency you're working! Which one are you working for?' I shook my head and he put the gun against my forehead. I closed my eyes. This was it. This was the moment. And all I could think about was Beth. My little sister would never be able to deal with my death. I couldn't care about myself. Soon I was no longer on this earth. So all I could think about was my sweet sister.

But before I heard the shot, I felt an excruciating pain at my jaw and all became black.

I shuddered at the thought of my first meeting with Sandros. Sometimes I could still feel that gun pressed against my forehead. In our prison I had wished several times that he had pulled that trigger, finishing it all. Because that first meet was just the first of many times. Beatings, drawings and electrocutions had followed. And I knew I had died but Sandros had ordered them to revive me. Bring me back to the hell.

'Miss?' the officer asked, pulling me back to the car and I looked at him. 'We are at your apartment? Do you need me to come inside or is it okay?'

'It's okay,' I smiled. 'My boyfriend is inside.' The officer nodded and I got out of the car. I waved goodbye at Stephanie and I walked to the front door. I smiled at the thought of Marty inside. I wanted him to hold me. Monty surprised me by jumping at me when I walked inside. I stroked the dog.

'Hello, boy,' I greeted him. 'Where is your owner?' I dropped my bag next to the door and I searched the apartment. To my surprise it was empty. Marty wasn't home. Hope had been with him…maybe they had gone to the beach, where little Hope felt so safe. Monty was walking in circles around me. But why hadn't Marty taken the dog with them? I took Monty's leash as he needed to walk. We walked to the beach in case we would run into Marty and Hope. But LA had a lot of beach and there was no chance of actually running into them. I took a deep breath, trying to lose all the excitement of this morning. After some time walking, I sat down in the sand. Just looking at the waves coming and going onto the beach. Just relaxing. Monty was laying like a true dog next to me in the sand.

The sound of a key in the lock made me put down my laptop. I walked to the door to greet Marty. But it wasn't just Marty walking inside. Kensi with a tired Hope in her arms followed him inside. I stared dumb folded at them. Why was Kensi here? Why was she with them? Marty seemed surprised and shocked to see me.

'Hey, Lisa,' he greeted confused and he gave me a quick kiss. 'You're home early.'

'Yeah,' I answered slowly, looking at Kensi and Hope. 'There was a bomb at the firm…Callen and Sam were there as well…they put us behind a car when the bomb detonated. I have been home since ten o'clock…I didn't know we would have guests…' Marty also looked at Kensi, who seemed uncomfortable.

'Yes…well…Hope wanted to have Kensi with her,' he explained and I nodded.

'Well, then I better change,' I told him. I was wearing a comfortable, but not that clean, sweatpants and one of Marty's t-shirts. Marty nodded and I went to our bedroom. There I took a deep breath. What was going on? Why did I feel like this when I saw Kensi and Hope? But I knew. Hope wasn't the problem. Kensi was. When Marty was with Hope, I could still be a part of it but when he was with Hope and Kensi, it felt like there was no place for me. I opened the closet when my phone started to vibrate. At first I wanted to ignore it. Get dressed as quickly as possible. But I saw it was Stephanie. I thought she might needed me so I answered the phone call.

'Li! I saw your Marty just a few minutes ago, with Kensi and Hope at the beach…' I sighed. Yeah, they now had come home.

'I already know, Steph. They are in the living room right now…joining us for dinner.'

'No, Li, you don't understand. They were at the beach and if I didn't know it was Marty, I would have sworn that they were a little happy family. You should have seen them. You should watch him.' I didn't know what to say to say to Stephanie. I remember the smile on Marty's face when he got inside. My stomach turned at the thought. I hadn't thought anything of it, but now…

Sharing a little smile, looking at her…I took a sip from my wine. Marty gave me a smile but I couldn't return it. Not now. Instead I looked at Hope, who was more playing with her food than actually eating it. I glanced at Kensi, who was looking at her food.

'Remember when we had to waltz?' Marty smiled and Kensi nodded. Then he turned to me. 'Hetty demanded that we waltzed. So that we could work harmonized together.'

'Yeah, and you kept stepping on my toes!' Kensi smiled and I couldn't help sighing. How wonderful that they waltzed together. Why did I need to know that?

'And Sam's face when he realized that he and Callen were next to waltz,' Marty laughed and now I had to smile as well. I could imagine what Sam's face had looked like. The big ex-SEAL having to dance with his partner. That was something I would want to see.

'So what did you three do today?' I asked them to change the subject a little closer to the present.

'Well, Hope and I went to the beach because…well I told you about the last time at the beach,' Marty started to tell. 'And after some time, Hope wanted to know if Kensi could come as well. She really wanted to be at the beach with her mom.' Fifteen seconds. 'So I called Kensi and she came to the beach. We played at the beach, took her into the water…' Five seconds for me. 'And she got a giant ice cream and she ate it all…which is probably why the little monkey isn't eating right now.' Hope looked up and gave Marty the sweetest smile I had ever seen. A smile that told me that she loved him. Told me that to her, he was her hero. I smiled a little when I saw Marty looking at me again. He gave me a smile back and he looked at Kensi again. I sighed and I stood up.

'Anyone else want something to drink?' I asked them and when they both shook their heads, I walked to the kitchen. There I took a deep sight. This wasn't the day I had planned. Not at all.

I was brushing my teeth when Marty walked into the bathroom and he wrapped his arms around my waist. I pulled myself loose to spit in the sink. In the mirror I saw him looking questioningly at me. I acted like I didn't see it. I didn't want to discuss the dinner or Kensi. I just wanted to get some sleep and forget this day.

I had hardly eaten anything. I had only drunk wine and was feeling a little light headed. I didn't know what would come out of my mouth if I would talk with Marty right now. The entire dinner I had focused on Marty and Kensi. All these things I saw. A smile, a laugh and even a look. It had driven me crazy. I looked at Marty and I saw his saddened expression. Sad because of my reaction. I didn't want to see him like that. Maybe I had seen it because I had focused on it. It could mean nothing. They were friends.

But what Stephanie told me before dinner was in my mind. 'A little happy family'

TBC.

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