A/n: Stop me if you haven't heard this one.

Rooms

The first door to Negaduck's left was unlocked and swung free to his touch. The stench of rotting flesh filled his nostrils. "Something tells me the nurses haven't checked up on this guy in a while."

Negaduck glanced around and double took the festering corpse lying in the bed under the stained grey sheet. It didn't look like it was getting up anytime soon to give him trouble.

Negaduck momentarily wondered how he'd died and if it wasn't somewhere still lurking around.

The room seemed pretty much a grub hole with clothes littering the floor and dirty dishes inhabiting the top of the chest of drawers by the bed. There really wasn't much to this room and Negaduck was getting bored in the square tomb. He went to the window and looked out across the roof of the Asylum. "Alright, so I'm in the left wing of this fire trap." Negaduck tried the criss-cross bars on the window. He stepped back and regarded the vertical and horizontal bars. "The penitentiary doesn't even get this much security." He shook his head and turned. To his left and along the wall above the desk were postcard sized pictures. Negaduck stepped over and had a look at them. The writing was in a red texter and the pictures were like a four-year-old's but across the wall the reason why this guy had landed in Ashdown was obvious.

"Vampires chasing the poor sucker; I knew there was some reason you wanted me to see this room." Negaduck turned to head towards the door and something caught his eye behind the closet door off its latch. He glanced back at the skeleton to his left and looked again to the closet on the wall opposing him. He listened but the room was silent back at him.

Negaduck sized up the cupboard. It was a small space, so the worst that would come out of it would probably be just another skeleton. Remembering his lesson from earlier, Negaduck eased the gap and stepped to the side of the closet, he took the handle and pulled the door towards him.

An avalanche of objects fell out with heavy bangs and thuds. When the noise stopped, Negaduck looked out from behind the closet door. "Well, this looks interesting." He looked at the pile of junk and grabbed hold of a long stick. It came loose, spreading the mess further across the floor.

Negaduck looked at the thing. "A pogo stick." He grunted, "Well, that ain't my chainsaw." He threw it behind him and foraged through the most together pile of the mess. Behind a plastic jar of peanut butter Negaduck saw the handle of his chainsaw. He grabbed it with delight and pulled.

Negaduck had anticipated weight and fell backwards into the cupboard when the thing he was pulling had no gravity to it at all. He stared at the handle of his chainsaw in his hands. For a moment he felt a flurry of panic. "It's the handle to my chainsaw you pulled apart-my-chainsaw!" Negaduck shrieked.

Behind the door and down the corridor another shriek answered him.

Negaduck took a breath. "This isn't real." He reminded himself, "Slipped my mind for a moment there." He got up "Alright, so I need to find the rest to put it back together." Pocketing the handle of his chainsaw, Negaduck waded through the junk heap and out through the door. "It better not be in too many pieces."

Negaduck paused and returned to the mounds of junk. He looked around and grabbed up the pogo stick again. "Now I feel properly dressed," he stated and shut the door behind him.

Now Negaduck was back in the corridor facing three more doors and a locked exit. "Alright, now I'm bored!" He glared up at the ceiling.

There was a fresh gust of wind and the curtain whipped behind him. Negaduck looked at the glimpse of the night sky and the moon beyond.

"Oh, very funny." He grumbled and turned back to choosing the next room to disturb.

There were at least three things he was looking for in this place, Negaduck realised; the rest of his chainsaw, the key to the exit door and Lenora. No doubt Darkwing had dropped him up here to see what he could make of her nonsense and right now Negaduck was stuck playing Darkwing's game. He twisted the handle and barged into the next room.

The smell of decay was much fresher in this one. "Where's the fun in this if everyone's already dead?" He complained to the ceiling and went to get a closer look at the corpse on the floor behind the bed.

Negaduck stared at the piece of wood sticking out of his chest. "A ribcage is not armour." Negaduck grabbed the handle end of the stake with his right hand and yanked. There was a little give but it remained stuck in the corpse. "Wow, what are you? Stuck to the floor with this thing?" Negaduck used both hands and pulled. This time the wood came free.

Negaduck looked at the jagged piece of wood in his hands. Someone had cleaved it unevenly in two but it still had much of the appearance of a baseball bat. He turned it around to the round smooth side and read the large swirling writing on the handle. It read 'Gizmoduck'.

Feeling like a piece of wood in a vampire's world was a bit safer than a lousy pogo stick, Negaduck pocketed the Gizmoduck stake. He looked down at the body and flicked it over with his foot. There was a deep indent in the wood of the floor where the stake had gone through. "Whoever did that must have a bit of strength." He decided and started looking around to the personality of the room, "I'm glad I've got the piece of wood now."

Negaduck spied the busy looking desk and started rummaging around the papers there. "No vampire pictures." He looked over to the closet and crossed over to it. He stepped up to the side and opened the door towards him. There was no banging or clanging this time and he ducked his head around. "Empty. Right." He looked around, "there's got to be more in this room other than some guy struck out with a baseball bat."

Returning to the side of the corpse, Negaduck started pulling open the chest of drawers. He yanked out a wad of clothes from the top one, shoved the drawer back, did the same to the next and then in the bottom drawer was the base of his chainsaw. "Yes!" Negaduck grabbed it up and looked at it. He already had the handle; that just left the blade to find. He hugged it and turned around.

He gazed in surprise at the tossed clothes now littering the room. Skirts and pink flannel pyjamas had come from the drawer. "This is a girl's room." He looked back at the corpse now on its back and half under the bed now. "Well, that ain't my Gosalyn." Negaduck walked around the bed and back to the door. He took the handle and looked back at the room and the corpse behind the bed. "So long, dipstick," He snorted and shut the door.

Negaduck looked around the corridor. Two down, two to go. Left to find was one chainsaw blade, one exit key, and one not-so-lucid Lenora. So far so good, so long as these rooms kept coming up with the goods.

Negaduck hesitated at the next door. It was something about the guy with the stake driven straight through him and into the hardwood floor that made him double take his next action. It wasn't really that big a thing, except there was two halves to that baseball bat and Asylum patients were often a bit twitchy if they came off their meds.

Negaduck knocked gently on the door. "Lenora? Gosalyn? Is anybody, whoever you are, in there?"

He twisted the handle and pushed the door open.