I made my way into the house, pushing past people so I could get into the room where Daryl was. I couldn't stop my heart from racing no matter what anyone said to me I just wanted to see him with my own eyes to make sure he was okay.
"Stop!" I heard a Rick say. I felt his hands grab me and pull me backwards; I struggled against him trying to get out of his grasp.
"No, I wanna see him," I answered through clenched teeth. I could tell he was getting annoyed at me trying to get away from him, so he picked me up off the ground and carried me outside. When we got outside and he dropped me while blocking the door so I couldn't get back inside.
"Move Rick," I said with acid in my voice.
"No you need to calm down before you go in there, okay. When we wakes up he doesn't need to see you freaking out," he reasoned pushing me back as I went for the door again.
"Fine," I said finally calming down. He was right I need to get my head on straight if I was going to be in there when he woke up.
After a few more minutes he moved out-of-the-way so I could get inside; I thanked him for doing that. I ran Hershel as he was leaving the room Daryl was in; he looked angry.
"Is everything okay in there," I asked my voice panicked.
"Yeah he's just too stubborn to let me work on him," he answered shaking his head. "You can go ahead in now," he finished.
I opened the door and walked in to see a lump laying on the bed covered up to his head in blankets. He looked beat up; what the hell happened to him.
"Hey there," I said tenderly. He moved to look at me standing by the door.
"You could come in," he said rolling back over.
"So what happened to you," I said pulling up a chair beside the bed.
He went on to explain to me what happened to him while he was in the woods, I couldn't help but feel so bad for him. I wish I could help him, or say something to make him feel better but I knew it was useless. I already knew what would happen if I even tried, he would shut me up tell me to get out or just turn over and ignore me. I just sat there for a little while debating if I should say something to him, but it was Daryl who broke the silence first.
"My daddy used to beat me bloody," he said looking at the floor.
"What? Daryl… I'm so sorry," I stuttered out not knowing what else to say. "Is that were the scars are from," I asked already knowing the answer.
"Whatda you think," he answered looking at me this time.
He went on to explain to me things his father would do to him after his mother died. He told me a lot more than I ever thought he would and the way he talked about it so openly with me made me happy. I felt so bad for him; he had a terrible childhood and there was nothing I could do to help him. I sat there and listen to him speak about his life for what felt like hours; I didn't say much I just listened intently to everything he said he was opening up to me and I didn't want to ruin this. After he finished we just sat there in silence for a while when a knock startled both of us. Carol came in and brought Daryl some food saying he wouldn't eat if someone didn't bring something to him; she was right. I excused myself so they could talk; I walked out to get some food for myself as I was putting it on my plate Carol walked out of the room. I was so confused; I walked back in with my plate and took my seat.
"What happened," I asked
"Nothin'," he said pulling the blanket back up over himself.
"Um okay then," I said playing with the food on my plate.
He didn't say anything else for the rest of the night. I don't remember it but apparently I fell asleep in the chair and stayed there all night. When I got up in the morning Daryl was already gone, so I got up and stretched my sore muscles and walked outside of the house. Everyone was already up and doing things, why do I always wake up later than these people I don't understand. I saw Glen walking around looking kind of lost and confused; I decided to see what was going on in his world.
"Glen why do you look so lost," I asked before biting down on an apple.
"Girls," he said
"Yeah girls suck right. Tell me about it," I said pretending to know what he was talking about giggling through my sentence.
"Okay maybe you can answer this for me cause you're a girl," he said taking a set on the ground; I followed him.
"Yeah last time I checked I was a girl, unless something has changed since then," I said taking another bite of my apple.
"You know what I mean," he said shaking his head.
"Okay okay, what's wrong? Maybe I can help," I said to him taking the last bite of my apple.
"What does it mean when you like have sex and then you are mean to them like really mean," he said looking so confused.
"Um… ya know," I stopped and thought for a moment, I didn't know what to tell him. "Maybe she just wanted that from you… I don't know maybe she didn't like it," I said not really wanting to go in that direction with him. When I said that he gave me this look like are you fucking kidding me?
"She was more than satisfied," he said with a cocky smile on his face.
"And how do you know that," I asked trying to make him uncomfortable now.
"Uhm.. because… you know," he said turning a little red.
"Hmmmm no I really don't know," I said with a smirk.
"You do, and you know why I do? 'Cause I heard the same noises come from you when you were with Daryl the other day," he said looking right at me laughing.
"UMMM," my eyes went wide and my face went bright red there were no words to express how completely embarrassed I was, "How.. but.. nobody was around….when did you.." I stuttered almost able to get a sentence out.
"I wanted to ask Daryl something about hunting sooo I went over there and boy was I surprised," he said through his laughing. "This is what you deserve for makin' fun of me," he finally finished.
"True," I said my face still beat red. "Oh my god! Did you see anything!" I said a little too loud pushing him over.
"No. no I didn't," he was still giggling "but from the sound of it maybe I should have taken a look," he said busting out laughing.
"OH MY GOD!" I squeaked slapping him a few times "If Daryl saw you he would have killed you," I said trying to hold back a laugh.
"Yeah, he would have.. don't tell him…" he said getting a little serious his smile fading.
"I won't, I promise, if he kills you I'd miss you too much," I said laughing "but yeah as for what we were talking about I mean I don't know just give her some time to figure it out I guess," I said trying to bring the conversation back.
"Maybe I'll go ask Dale," he said giving up on me.
"Yeah he's old and wise. Sorry I couldn't be more help," I said shrugging "Oh, since you like to spy on Daryl have you seen him today," I asked with a smile.
"I don't spy on him that's weird," he said getting up to find Dale "I do happen to know he's in the barn," he said quietly looking down.
I just laughed at him and said thanks as I walked in the direction in the barn. As I got close I could hear Daryl getting loud with someone, from what I heard him saying it was Carol. I didn't know if I should go in there or wait till they were done; before I could decide what to do Carol came out.
"Did you hear that," she asked me.
"Ye..yeah some of it," I answered her as I shuffled my feet. "I'm sorry he called you a bitch, that was uncalled for," I said looking at her this time.
"Thanks, I know he didn't mean it," she said pulling her eye brows together. "You're too young for him you know that right," she asked me.
"What are you talking about," I asked surprised by her words. "I'm not that young and he's not too much older than me," I said my words coming out fast. "Why does it matter how old I am now," I asked trying to slow down my words.
"You don't understand what he's been through and he needs someone who does. Someone who can answer him when he told a story about his life, someone who can relate to him. I'm not trying to say you're bad for him it's just maybe you aren't right for him," she said her voice sounding sweet.
"So you want me to back off, basically, so you could move in right," I asked my voice cracking. I was nothing but nice to this woman and she was going to pull this shit. Was she really trying to take away the person that makes me smile? "You know that's not going to happen right," I told her
"I'm not asking you to back off," she answered me "I just don't want you to hurt him," she finished.
"What makes you think I'll hurt him? I would never do that I really do care for the guy especially since we..," I stopped not wanting to finish my thought.
"Oh.. I see," She sounded surprised.
"What do you mean by that," I asked starting to get defensive, "Did he say something to you," I asked my voice sharp.
"No, he didn't say it, but I'm saying it," she said walking away from me.
"Saying what," I said still looking forward surprised she left me standing there like that.
"I'm saying don't you ever do anything that will break him," she walked away.
What makes her think I would do that, I really care for Daryl and I wouldn't ever think about hurting him. I wouldn't ever want to do something to hurt someone, emotionally anyway, especially Daryl. What the hell brought this up? I was so confused and just shocked about the conversation I just had with the woman who I defended and many occasions. Was she saying this as a woman who was acting like a motherly figure, yeah okay, or was it a woman who was romantically interested in him. I had a funny feeling it was the second one. I started to walk to the barn to see if Daryl was in there maybe he could clear this up for me, I doubt that too. As I walked in I found him sitting in the floor in the barn clutching his side.
"Are you okay," I asked sitting next to him.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he grunted.
"Liar," I said moving my hand to check out his bandage; he scooted in the opposite direction. "What? It's not like I haven't seen you naked before," I said moving closer to him.
"That was a mistake," he said looking down at his shoes.
"What? No, I don't believe you," I said my heart beat quickening as I shook my head. "You just told me all this shit about yourself.. You opened up to me dude I didn't ask you to do that. You did that on your own and I'm so glad you did. Why are you trying to ruin this," I said trying to control myself. "Is this about Carol," I asked.
"No it's not 'bout her, " he answered me still looking down.
"Then why are you doing this," I asked him my voice low.
"'Cause there was nothin' ta ruin. You don mean nothin'. I got what I wanted now I'm done," he said his voice lower than mine was.
"You don't even believe that lie Daryl," I said getting up "Ya know I thought I was really breaking through that wall of yours but I guess not. I just don't know what to say to you man like…" I just stood there staring at the man I thought cared about me "Daryl I don't want to give up on you but you are really giving me nothing to work with," I said not wanting this to happen and not ready to give this up.
"Just leave me be," he said softly.
"No," I answered, I could be just as stubborn as he was. He got up and walked towards me faster than I was ready for.
"Why can't cha take a hint bitch," he growled pinning me against the wall.
"I can, you just don't mean yours," I said confident about my statement. So confident in fact I kissed him this would answer my question. He didn't back off he kissed me back, I went to move my arms but he grabbed my wrists and pined them on the wall trapping me between him and the barn.
"I knew you didn't mean it," I said softly still pinned to the wall.
He dropped his hands from and he and backed up "Just go away," he said looking me in the eye this time.
"Fine, you want me away. I'm gone dude. You come find me when you figure out everything cause I can't handle the roller coaster ride I'm on with you Daryl," I yelled I was done being nice "You know how I feel about you, why can't you just be honest with yourself," I finished feeling the tears start to burn the back of my eyes. I waited for an answer and he said nothing "Of course you don't answer me. What the fuck else would I expect," I said throwing my hands up in defeat. "Like I said find me when you figure shit out," I left without looking back partly to prove a point and partly because I did I'd run back over there. I was done chasing Daryl Dixon.